It’s Only a Haircut… Or Is It? Why We Still Seek Validation even at 69 – Women Living Well After 50

Sometimes the biggest changes aren’t about how we look, but how we see ourselves.

A new haircut. A little change. A step outside my comfort zone.

Who knew that something as simple as changing my hairstyle would create such a response?

I recently shared a Reel on Instagram and Facebook about my new haircut. I was taking a risk, embracing a change and sharing a little glimpse of my experience. I wanted to encourage others to do something they had wanted to do for some time but feared, because you never know what the results will be.

And it struck a chord!

The Reel received more views and comments than anything I’ve shared before. But while I loved seeing the numbers, what really touched me was the overwhelming support from women.

The lovely comments, encouragement and positive messages reminded me of something important: there is something quite special about women supporting women.

But there was another part of this experience that got me thinking.

I wasn’t asking for opinions… Or was I?

When I shared my new hairstyle, I wasn’t actually asking people to tell me whether they liked it or not. I simply wanted to share how I had approached a change in my appearance, taken a little risk and stepped outside my comfort zone. It was a big leap for me and I still wasn’t really sure I wanted to go through with it when I sat in the stylist’s chair.

Yet, if I’m completely honest, deep down I still felt I needed validation.

At 69, shouldn’t I know better?

Shouldn’t I be confident enough to make a decision about my appearance without worrying what other people think? I know the answer is yes. And yet, that little voice was still there.

Will people like it? Does it suit me? Have I made the right decision?

It made me stop and ask myself:

Why do we still seek approval from others, even when we know we don’t need it?

Why do we seek validation?

I don’t think there is one simple answer.

Perhaps it’s years of conditioning. Many of us grew up in a time when appearance, fitting in and being accepted were important. We learnt to consider what others might think before making decisions about ourselves.

Perhaps it’s also human nature. We all want to feel accepted, appreciated and connected. A kind word or a supportive comment can make us feel seen and valued.

And perhaps change makes us vulnerable. When we do something different, particularly something as visible as changing our appearance, we put ourselves out there.

We are no longer hiding behind what is familiar.

Even when we make the decision for ourselves, there can still be a little uncertainty about how others will respond.

And that’s okay.

The important thing is recognising when we’re seeking encouragement because it feels good, and when we’re relying on someone else’s approval to feel good about ourselves.

There is a difference.

The power of women supporting women

What I loved most about the response to my Reel wasn’t simply that women liked my haircut. It was the spirit of encouragement.

Women taking the time to leave a lovely comment. Women sharing their own experiences of change. Women reminding me that it’s never too late to try something different.

And that got me thinking about how important this support becomes as we move through our 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond.

We are constantly navigating change.

Our bodies change. Our priorities change. Our circumstances change. Sometimes our relationships, careers and even our sense of identity change.

We might decide to cut our hair, change our wardrobe, start a new fitness routine, travel somewhere different or pursue something we’ve always wanted to do. And sometimes we just need someone to say, “Good on you!” Not because we need their permission, but because encouragement can give us the confidence to keep going.

I think we underestimate the impact of a few kind words. A genuine compliment, a supportive comment or simply acknowledging another woman’s courage can make a difference.

Let’s keep doing more of that.

Learning to trust ourselves

One of the things I’m learning as I get older is that confidence isn’t necessarily about never doubting yourself. In fact, I wonder if I will ever overcome self-doubt. But that’s okay I’ll keep trying. It’s about recognising the doubt and not allowing it to make all your decisions.

• I can be confident and still wonder whether my new haircut suits me.
• I can be comfortable with who I am and still appreciate a compliment.
• I can make my own decisions and still enjoy the encouragement of others.

These things aren’t mutually exclusive.

Perhaps the goal isn’t to reach a point where we never care what anyone thinks. Perhaps it’s about caring less about approval and more about how we feel about the choices we’re making.

After all, it’s my hair. My life. My decision.

And if I decide I want to change it again next month, that’s okay too!

It’s never too late to reinvent yourself

This little haircut experience reminded me that change doesn’t have to be enormous to be meaningful. Sometimes it’s a new hairstyle. Sometimes it’s wearing something you’ve always admired but never felt brave enough to try. Sometimes it’s saying yes to an opportunity, saying no to something that no longer serves you, or simply deciding to do things differently.

At 69, I’m still learning, still growing and still occasionally looking for reassurance. But I’m also learning that I don’t need to wait for someone else’s approval before I embrace something new.

And perhaps that’s what living life in full bloom is really about.

Not having everything figured out. Not being fearless. But continuing to grow, taking a few risks, accepting ourselves along the way and surrounding ourselves with women who encourage us to be ourselves.

So, thank you to everyone who responded to my little haircut Reel. Your support meant more than you probably realise.

And to all the women reading this:

Keep experimenting. Keep changing. Keep being curious about who you might become.

You don’t need permission to bloom.

A little reflection for you

Have you ever made a change in your appearance, lifestyle or life direction and found yourself secretly hoping others would approve?

Do you still seek validation, even when you know your decision is yours to make?

I’d love to hear your thoughts, because sometimes, sharing our vulnerabilities is exactly what helps another woman feel less alone.

Until next time…..

Women Living Well After 50
Helping Women Over 50 Bloom in Life 🌸

P.S. Here is the link my Instragram reel if you missed it.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd8YENxq6Pg/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&stkn=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==