It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. Should I quit with nothing lined up and pull from my retirement savings?
I need to consider leaving my job without something else lined up, and I need a trustworthy gut-check. I’m 43 and have worked in a small consulting firm for 13 years. It was the first job I got after my masters. I have another masters and a bachelors, which I’m worried has impacted my ability to find part-time work or switch fields. I’m single and live by myself (with a cat) and my parents have provided some financial support.
My boss can be demanding, micromanaging and at times abusive, and I feel a lot of stress from the job. I’ve also battled physical complications from type 2 diabetes since 2020, which resulted in toe surgery late last year and another hospitalization this year (thankfully not as dire since I detected the symptoms early).
My salary was cut two years ago due to revenue downturns, and since then I’ve been trying without success to find another job. I’ve had 10-15 interviews but all first-round, and no offers. I blew through PTO a long time ago, which makes interviewing during workdays difficult. At the time of the salary cut, we had five employees, but now it’s just me and my boss, and my already-large workload has ballooned. This does not feel tenable, and I’m worried about my ability to manage the job and my physical recovery at the same time.
The problem is, due to the salary cut and hospitalizations, I no longer have emergency savings. The only way I can get six months of living expenses (to support me if I quit with nothing lined up) is to make an early retirement withdrawal (around 20-25% of what I’ve currently saved, including the early withdrawal penalty and taxes), which carries a lot of risk. Is it still worth doing it though? This job has become very dead-end due to the salary cut, and I feel like I’m holding on mainly for the health insurance (which I’ve confirmed is COBRA-eligible and I live in a state that extends mini-COBRA benefits for smaller employers such as mine) but having the job is still a position of strength and I’m worried about giving that up.
I’ve always felt like it’s been harder for me to get a job. I don’t know if I’m just bad at interviews, or bad at selling myself in general, or what, but previous job searches have often taken me six months to a year, and I’m also worried about ageism coming into play now. So I’m worried about taking the leap of faith, but I’m also thinking I have to now.
If it’s always taken you six months to a year to get a new job, I’m worried about you quitting with nothing lined up and only six months of living expenses — and even more so when you factor in the current economy. If you knew that it would take a year and you’d have to withdraw another six months from your retirement account, this starts looking a lot riskier. You might end up having to do that in other circumstances (like if you got laid off and didn’t have a choice in the matter), but I’d be wary about doing it voluntarily.
But instead, what about trying to negotiate more PTO from your boss, which would make it easier to interview? Point out that you took a salary cut two years ago and haven’t had a raise since then, and ask for an additional week or two of PTO to make up for that.
Related:
is it irresponsible to quit my job without having another one lined up?
2. Should I take a job working for a friend?
A friend and former coworker has offered me a job, and I’m trying to decide if I should take it.
We worked together very closely over the last couple of years on a challenging project, and became friendly. She’s been an amazing mentor to me and we have a lot in common personally. Although we haven’t spent much time together outside of work, we spent a lot of time together on intensive work trips and have bonded a lot.
She recently moved to a much more senior management position in our large company, and has reached out to offer me a job on her team. It would be a big advancement and sounds like very interesting work. I also really admire her professionally and would be very happy to work with her again. But having a boss who I’m already personally close to seems like a potentially tricky situation to navigate. We’ve had conversations about politics, our relationships and sex lives, our (negative) opinions on colleagues and management … These aren’t things I’d usually talk to my manager about! I’m concerned about both a manager-employee relationship affecting our personal relationship, which I really value, and also about this closer personal relationship creating problems with working together or with my ability to work with the rest of the team, with whom I assume she has a more standard management relationship.
On one hand, I think it would be crazy to give up this opportunity to work with a great mentor who I have massive personal and professional respect for, on a topic I’m interested in and develop skills I’ve been frustrated with my current role not using. On the other hand, this is really out of my social situation comfort zone! Do you have any advice on how to navigate this?
It sounds like this is a close working relationship, but not really an outside-of-work friendship.
If you’d otherwise want the job, and it sounds like you would, take it! Pull back on the conversations about your relationships and sex lives since the boundaries will need to be different once you’re working for her, and assume that she may need to make more of a point of being friendly but not friends, but otherwise I think you are fine.
3. Being asked to be a reference when you’re applying for that same job
My friend asked me a question that I wasn’t sure how to answer. Someone in leadership recently encouraged my friend (Bo) to apply for a job that recently opened up. He hasn’t made the decision about whether to apply just yet, but is very strongly considering it. From what I know of the job, which is more than just what Bo is sharing with me, I think he is a strong candidate and would certainly make a short list for interviews. His one concern at the moment is how his current bosses might view his interest in taking a new role, and he wants to keep things quiet for as long as possible if he does move forward.
Yesterday, Randy, a former employee, if asked Bo if he would be a reference for Randy for that same job. Randy was a decent employee while he worked for Bo, and Bo likes him. In almost any other case, Bo would have told Randy yes, and have given a recommendation that is as honest as he can give. But because Bo is probably going to be applying also, how does he respond to the request? Because he’s trying to keep things a bit under the radar, he doesn’t just want to tell Randy no because he’s also going to be applying. He can’t tell Randy that too much time has elapsed since Randy worked for him or that he can’t speak to Randy’s ability to do the other job, because it hasn’t and he can.
I suggested that he should just tell Randy yes. If they’re both included in serious consideration, I can’t envision someone calling Bo to ask his thoughts on someone else in the running. And because things are still early in the process, they may decide not to consider Bo or Randy at all, and so the point may be moot. Was that right? Is there a good way to handle this kind of request?
Yes, I agree with you completely. They’re highly unlikely to call one finalist for a recommendation for another. If for some reason they did, Bo’s integrity should demand that he give Randy the same reference he’d give if he weren’t applying himself (and if anything, the reference-checker is likely to see that as good a sign about Bo too).
4. Should I address my facial tic during a job interview?
I am currently job hunting and am wondering if I should address my facial tic during job interviews.
I’ve have Tourette’s Syndrome and am usually symptom-free, except for random periods of time when my VERY noticeable eye tic comes back. These periods can be taxing for me physically and emotionally, but I don’t believe it’s something that impacts the quality of my work, and it’s a non-issue most of the time. However, I am interviewing for public-facing positions and am worried that the interviewers will question if I’m fit to work in a front office setting (even though I work in a front office now) or think I’m winking at them/making faces (yikes).
This wasn’t an issue whenI applied for my current position, so i’m unsure how to move forward. Should I address my condition during the interview (not ideal)? Should I not disclose and risk giving the wrong impression (also not ideal)?
I asked my parents and received split advice: my mom said not to draw attention to it, my dad said I absolutely need to address it. Would you mind being the tie-breaker?
I’m generally a fan of addressing up-front anything that you’re concerned will be noticed and misinterpreted, both to ensure that it’s not misunderstood and so you’re less likely to feel weird about it. That’s true whether it’s a facial tic or you’re missing all your teeth because you’re in the middle of dental work or a noticeable tremor or anything you’re going to feel awkward about them observing.
To be clear, it’s not because you should have to explain that kind of thing — you don’t — but addressing it can make you more comfortable (since you’re not worried about what they’re thinking about it) and they’ll feel better knowing there’s nothing going on that they need to be concerned about.
You can just be breezy and matter-of-fact about it (“I have a condition that can cause some eye tics — nothing to worry about if you notice it!”).
5. If cover letters are so important, why do some applications not ask for them?
I’ve read so much about how important cover letters are, and how to write a good one, but I’ve been running into a problem submitting them. The vast majority of online applications I’ve submitted in the last few months have no place to upload a cover letter. A few have had an “other documentation” section that I’ve used, but most have one spot for a resume and nothing else. Almost none list a name or email address.
Some advisors through my state’s UI program suggested combining the cover letter and resume in one file and uploading them together, but they also advise not to include anything unexpected in your resume because it can confuse the ATS and get you screened out. Not to mention I feel it shows an inability to follow instructions. Surely if they wanted a cover letter they’d ask for it, instead of hoping applicants find loopholes in the system to send one anyway?
What say you? Good or bad idea?
Combine them in one file. It’s not going to confuse the ATS; it happens frequently. A cover letter is a standard enough part of a job application that including one doesn’t show an inability to follow directions (the way including your three-act play or screenshot of your IQ test results would).
Lots of hiring managers read and appreciate cover letters — particularly good ones that add something to your candidacy that they wouldn’t get just from your resume, rather than perfunctory ones — but are saddled with HR systems they didn’t create and wouldn’t have chosen. Those who don’t will just ignore it. But it can help enough of the time that it’s worth including.
