There are moments in life when you see something that changes you. Not just for a day. Not just for a certain trip you may be taking. It changes the way you see your entire life.
For me, that moment happened in Senegal, West Africa.
My son had joined the Peace Corps and was living in a tiny village 8,000 miles from here. He invited me to visit him and experience what he was experiencing. I arrived in Senegal expecting to see a very different way of life. I wasn’t prepared for how deeply it would affect me. The villagers had very little by our American standards, and yet I saw something I couldn’t reconcile with everything I had been taught about having a good life.
They were happy, joyful… content.
After a month-long visit, I came home to my 5,000-square-foot designer home, a beautiful home filled with beautiful things. But after Senegal, I couldn’t quite see those things the same way. I had changed. I couldn’t unsee what I had seen.
And slowly, a realization began to take hold: Maybe all of those beautiful things aren’t making my life better. Maybe some of them were simply… stuff.
All I knew was that I wanted a simpler life with less. Not because I wanted less life… quite the opposite. I wanted more life. More time. More freedom. More energy. More space for the people I loved. And more room for whatever was coming next.
So I made a decision to downsize from my 5,000-square-foot home to an 867-square-foot apartment. In the process I gave away approximately 95% of what I once owned. I now live with 5% of what I once thought I needed.
And here’s the thing: I didn’t feel like I had lost a thing. I felt like I had finally figured out what mattered most.
The things I kept were things I wanted, needed, and loved. Things that mattered most to me.
That experience completely changed my understanding of downsizing because downsizing isn’t really about getting rid of things. It’s about deciding what gets to come with you into the life that you are creating next.
But how did you actually do it?
This is the question people ask me all the time. How in the world did you go from 5,000 ft² to 867 ft²? And my answer is this: I didn’t do it all at once.
In fact, that’s exactly how you don’t do it!
When I first looked at my entire house, the project felt too overwhelming to even describe.
The closets, bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchen, basement, attic, garage, years of accumulated belongings.
If I had stood in the middle of that house and thought, “I have to figure out all of this today,” I probably would have walked away.
Instead, I learned to take it one manageable step at a time. And that’s what ultimately took me from “I have no idea where to start” to “I can do this.”
I want to share with you exactly how I did it.
1. Don’t look at the entire project.
This is such an important lesson. Don’t look at the entire house. Look at one room, then one closet, then one shelf, then one drawer. When you look at everything at once, your brain sees an impossible project. When you break it down, you see something you can actually accomplish.
You don’t have to finish the whole house today. You only have to decide what you’re going to do today.
2. Break it into manageable chunks.
I created small, realistic pieces of work that fit into my actual life. Not imaginary ones where I would spend the entire weekend decluttering. Realistic ones. One particular room or closet or category. Just three or four hours at a time each weekend.
It was something I could start and finish. And most importantly, I could see progress from one week to the next.
That progress became incredibly motivating. Because there’s something powerful about looking back and realizing, “Last week this was full. Now it’s done.”
3. Create a timeline that works with your life.
Your downsizing plan shouldn’t become another source of stress. Create a timeline that works with your life and your lifestyle.
Maybe you have a full-time job. Maybe you’re caring for a spouse. Maybe you’re helping out with grandchildren. Maybe you’re simply tired.
Your timeline doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. The goal isn’t to finish as quickly as possible. The goal is to keep moving forward.
4. Build your team.
I would not underestimate this message. Downsizing can be physical, but it’s also very emotional. And sometimes you need somebody standing beside you saying: “OK. We’re going to figure this out together.”
I had a small team, usually two or three people at a time. They came on weekends. We worked for three or four hours at a time. We focused on one specific area of my home each week.
And when we finished, we didn’t just leave piles sitting in my house. We took them to the donation site. We took out the trash. We completed the job. And then?
We had a pizza party. We ate, talked, laughed, shared stories. Sometimes there were tears. Sometimes there was hysterical laughter. Sometimes we couldn’t believe what we found!
Those people weren’t just helping me empty my house, they were helping me move through a major life transition.
And that’s an important distinction.
5. Start with the easy stuff.
Please don’t begin with the most emotional things in your house. I learned this the hard way. Start where the emotional attachment is relatively low.
Try:
- Guest bedrooms
- Linen closets
- Coat closets
- Kitchen duplicates
- Things you haven’t used in years
Don’t start with:
- Your kids’ rooms
- Family photographs
- Your parents’ belongings
- Love letters
- The things that carry decades of memories
You don’t need to begin with the hardest decisions. Begin with decisions you can make easily. And every decision you make builds confidence for the next one.
6. Be consistent.
Once you have your plan, follow it. Week by week. Drawer by drawer. Shelf by shelf. Closet by closet.
You don’t need enormous bursts of productivity. Consistency beats intensity.
Some weeks you’ll accomplish a lot. Some weeks you’ll accomplish very little. But if you keep going, eventually, you’ll look around and realize you’ve come a long way.
7. Notice your progress.
This is one I really hope you will listen to. Don’t focus only on what is left to be done. Notice what you’ve already done.
Take pictures. Keep a list. Cross things off. Celebrate the empty closet or the cleared shelf. Celebrate every time the donations leave your house.
Give yourself credit and take breaks when you need them. I actually took an entire summer off. I was burned out and I needed to stop.
But when September came, something interesting happened. I came back to the downsizing project refreshed and highly motivated to finish.
Taking a break didn’t mean I had failed. It meant I was listening to myself.
8. Give yourself grace.
This process is not going to be perfect, and it will be emotional.
There will be days when you sit on the floor holding something you haven’t seen in 20 years and suddenly you’re crying. That’s OK.
There will be moments when you question everything. There will also be moments when you wonder why you started.
Give yourself grace. You are not simply sorting objects. You are sorting through chapters of your life… and that deserves time and attention.
9. Enjoy the journey.
This surprised me. Somewhere along the way, downsizing became less about getting rid of things and more about discovering my own story.
I found things I had completely forgotten about. I remembered people I hadn’t thought about in years. Places I had been. Experiences I had. Mistakes I made. Joyful times.
I laughed. I cried. I learned. And… I began to understand that the things I was keeping weren’t random. They were telling me something about who I was and who I wanted to become.
I encourage you to journal about it if that helps you. Write down the funny stories, the difficult moments, the unexpected discoveries, and the things you decided to keep.
And just as importantly, write about the things you decided to let go. And make room for some joy and laughter along the way.
Make room for the story behind the photograph
Some of the stories you rediscover will be in your photographs. A picture can show who was at the table. You may be the person who remembers why everyone was laughing.
When you reach that part of your downsizing, after beginning with the easier decisions, give those stories a little room of their own. Choose one photograph and write a few lines about the people, the occasion, and what made that moment special. That is something your family can enjoy along with the picture.
If you would welcome guidance as you go, Photo Keepers Club offers a paid membership for people organizing their own photos, digitizing printed memories, and preserving family stories. You can learn at your own pace, with expert guidance and a community alongside you.
The purpose is to make those memories easier to find, share, and enjoy.
This is an affiliate link. I may earn a commission if you join through it.
10. Keep coming back to your WHY
This may be the most important step of all.
When you get tired, overwhelmed, or stuck, come back to why you started in the first place.
For me, it was what I learned in Senegal. I couldn’t unsee what I had seen.
I had seen people with very little who seemed to understand something I had somehow forgotten:
You don’t need more things to have more life.
My mantra became: “I want a simple life with less.”
That sentence carried me through a lot of difficult decisions because I wasn’t really asking, “Do I want to get rid of this?” I was asking: “Does this belong in the life I’m trying to create?”
And that’s where downsizing becomes something more.
Today I don’t think about that 95% I gave away. What I notice every day is the 5% that I kept because those things matter. They have meaning. They support the life I’m living now.
And that’s what I want people to understand about downsizing: It’s not about living with nothing. It’s about living with what matters.
It’s not about making your life smaller. It’s about making room for the life you actually want to live. Less stuff. Less maintenance. Less obligation. Less visual noise.
And more… time. Freedom. Energy. Relationships. Experiences. And… more life!
That’s why I wrote my bestselling book: Downsize Your Life, Upgrade Your Lifestyle: Secrets to More Time, Money, and Freedom.
Downsizing is not downgrading. It’s actually a lifestyle upgrade.
And ultimately, less is not lack. It’s clarity.
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