September 2026 In Photos | Finding Hope
Another photo challenge! I didn’t have a particular goal in mind for this one, just the day to day documenting of the month, which I’d always known was going to be a busy one. That plan kind of went sideways halfway through but I liked what I’d included so far so I decided to continue the post anyway. September was busy and inspiring and exhausting and frustrating and exciting and unimaginable and as the month drew to a close, I felt that that was more than enough of a reason to document and share it.
1. IN THE MIRROR – I’ve been wearing my makeup the same way for so long now: concealer, eyeliner, mascara, and sometimes a bit of highlighter. And some eyebrow tint very, very occasionally. It’s quick (unless the eyeliner refuses to cooperate) and relatively easy to do but I’m so short-sighted that I have to be SO CLOSE to the mirror; my nose practically touches the glass and I’ve knocked various products against the mirror more times than I can count. I’ve started needing to take an actual mirror with me if I ever have to stay at a hotel because, guaranteed, they’re always above a sink or desk and I CAN’T SEE THAT FAR.
2. AT THE TABLE – Having committed to a thirty day music production challenge – where I had to make something everyday throughout September – I spent a lot of time at my desk, working at my laptop with my recording gear. Now that I have a good, supportive desk chair, working at my desk is easier than it used to be but I still struggle with executive function of transitioning from one task to another, especially if it’s in a different room – so I’m often stuck at my desk or stuck on the sofa. ADHD is incredibly frustrating.
3. ON THE FLOOR – My Autism Assistance Dog, Daisy, still finds it somewhat confusing that I randomly – to her at least – lie down on the floor at random intervals (in order to do my physiotherapy exercises) and so sometimes she feels the need to come and lie on me and make sure that I’m okay. It’s not particularly helpful for doing the actual exercises but it is very, very sweet!
4. ON MY FEET – A friend gave me these Pomeranian socks just after I got – and they met – Izzy (half-Pomeranian half-Chihuahua was understandably a bit too niche a breed to feature on socks) and I absolutely adore them. They’re holding up pretty well considering how often I wear them!
5. OUT THE WINDOW – As much as I struggle with the summer months, they have granted us with some spectacular sunsets. This one was gorgeous and it wasn’t even the most gorgeous one I saw throughout September.
6. SOMETHING I’LL EAT – The wording of this prompt tripped me up a bit so I ended up just taking a picture of something edible, which – on this particular day – is this new chocolate that I’m obsessed with. There’s something about Cadbury chocolate that really activates the sensory seeking part of my brain and having found this, I want to be eating it constantly – for the dopamine spike alone…
7. IN MOTION – The journey to London is one I’m very, very familiar with at this point. Of the music and the work stuff, I can manage… a lot of it is in London. Sometimes I can manage it by train but for most of this year, a train journey has taken up more energy than I can afford if I want to properly do the thing that I’m travelling to London for. I’m incredibly grateful that my Mum’s work is often flexible enough that she can drive me when I need to go (and that she’s so supportive and willing to help me). So although I’ve been pretty homebound over the summer, the drive to London is a regular one and my Mum and I often use it as an opportunity to listen to music: new albums, refreshing ourselves before concerts, old favourites, and so on.
8. SOMETHING OLD – I bought my Bose QuietComfort headphones in 2015, I think – I know it wasn’t long after my Autism diagnosis. I was commuting to London for university and we’d realised that the noise of the trains and public transport, plus the general commotion of the streets in Central London, was likely contributing to how exhausted I was everyday. I’ve taken great care with them because they were so expensive (and would be so expensive to replace) but I’ve worn them so much over the years that the ear pads are finally starting to fall apart. I was worried that I’d have to buy new headphones but thank god, you can buy replacements of just the ear pads. My bank account lives to see another day!
9. MY COMMUTE – Given that I haven’t been going up to London much over the last month or so, I’ve mostly been at home and so my commute has pretty much been the staircase in my house everyday. It’s not particularly glamorous but then disability often isn’t. I am very grateful that home is a safe place and that I can do a lot of the work I’m able to do from my desk or my sofa.
10. SOMETHING NEW – Out of desperation post therapy, I went looking for art therapy methods on YouTube, since it’s something I’ve never tried, and I came across something called Neurographic Drawing. I don’t fully understand how it works and I’m not totally sure I’m doing it right (because almost every video explains it slightly differently) but I believe the concept involves improving emotional regulation and forming new neural pathways and connections, without relying on verbal or cognitive processing of a trauma. I’ve been enjoying my rudimentary practice of it and have had a couple of drawing sessions where I’ve worked at it until my hand cramped up, which I’m not sure is the ideal approach, but I’m still learning: I’m reading more about it to find out what are the truly beneficial parts of it and when I feel like I’ve got a better grasp on it, I’ll share it here because I think it’s really interesting.
11. BEHIND THE SCENES – Izzy is my little shadow (and often my weighted lap pad) so wherever I am, whatever I’m doing, she’s usually there – keeping me company or keeping an eye on me, I’m not sure which. But I’m certainly not complaining; she’s always adorable and she’s always cuddly and she’s always happy to see me!
12. A FAVOURITE SPOT – Not long ago, I finally got my shit together and started making a conscious effort to decorate my bedroom. I obviously don’t particularly care what it looks like when I’m sleeping in there but it’s also where my desk is and since I was trying to work at my desk more often – rather than carting my stuff around as and when I needed it – I figured that having a bedroom that I actually enjoyed being in might help with that. It’s not finished yet but I really love the vinyls I’ve got displayed above my bed – either favourite albums, favourite artists, or both – and I love the little shelves I put up, filled with sentimental stuff that I’ve collected over the years: a wooden Kiwi I brought home from New Zealand, a little clay figure reading a book that I found in Portugal, a painting that a friend gave me, Funko Pops of Daisy Johnson and Samantha Carter (two of my favourite fictional characters), a book given to me by my first really good therapist, a little bottle of sand from my favourite beach, a candle I made in Nashville… The room feels much more me already.
13. A PLANT I HAVEN’T KILLED – I have never managed to keep a plant alive so I only have fake plants now. I blame my ADHD: I have so much noise and chaos in my brain that it’s hard enough to stay on top of everything as it is – there just isn’t the capacity for plants as well. I’m very content with my fake succulent.
14. ALMOST BEDTIME – Every night at the same time, Daisy (my Assistance Dog, for those of you who don’t know) takes herself off to bed – my bed – and patiently waits for me to join her. It’s hilarious and I can hear her grumbling if I take too long but it’s a very good prompt to pack up my stuff and go to bed.
17. I USE THIS DAILY – I don’t go anywhere without my Bullet Journal. Well, it started out as a bullet journal and then, over the years, I adapted the system to more suit the individual intricacies of my neurodivergent brain. Due to my ADHD, I struggle with a lot of executive function skills, especially when it comes to planning and organisation – like setting goals, structuring my time, task initiation, and so on – so writing it all out physically and being able to look at it again and again helps me to stay on track. It also helps a lot with my anxiety but that’s a whole other thing. I made a post a LONG time ago about the system I use (and another one when I added Bingo Boards to help with goal setting) but maybe I’ll do an updated one at some point because I find it so, so helpful: it feels like getting my brain down on the page so that I don’t have to expend all of my energy holding onto it all.
20. IN MY POCKET – I almost always have a fidget toy in my pocket (and if not in my pocket, then within reach). What can I say? They really do help with my focus and with regulating my emotions, especially if I’m overwhelmed and anxious.
22. EVERYDAY BEAUTY – As I said earlier in this post, I’ve been wearing basically the same makeup for YEARS (those social media videos of people with rooms full of makeup products are truly baffling to me when I don’t think I’ve ever had more make up than I can hold in one hand), partly because it’s straight forward, relatively easy, and I like how it looks, and partly because I find wearing makeup really difficult from a sensory perspective. I can feel it on my skin and brows and lashes, my hands feel magnetically drawn to my face to rub at it all, and it makes my face ache – even the weight of mascara on my eyelashes makes my eyes and the skin around them hurt. By the end of the day, I’m positively desperate to get it off; I cannot sleep with makeup on. It’s not a huge deal given some of the things I deal with as a neurodivergent and disabled person with mental health issues but I do find it frustrating: I often marvel at what people are able to do with makeup – I will die on the hill that it’s an art form – and would love to be able to experiment more, or at least wear cool makeup looks created by other people. (I realised later that this is probably a very literal interpretation of the prompt – what can I say, I am autistic.)
24. A FAVOURITE TOOL – I once saw a t-shirt on Redbubble with the phrase ‘weapons of mass creation’ (it still exists!) and I still think about it at least once a week. I’m a writer and a singer and I’m most comfortable when holding a pen or a microphone; I honestly feel more anchored with one or the other in hand, maybe because they’re often a way into a creative flow state.
26. A CORNER OF MY ROOM – My desk backs me into a little alcove in my room, which does put me more in a work headspace than when I had my back to the room and the door, facing a wall. It’s also where I make most of my social media videos so, with the help of my Mum, I hung up some coloured fabric as a fun backdrop. Plus this blue and pink are colours that make me feel inspired and creative and engaged.
27. ON MY BEDSIDE TABLE – While it looks quite organised, that was just to make sure everything fitted in the photo… My bedside table is always a mess because I’m trying to fit too much on it: my day-to-day meds, my as-needed sleep meds, my retainer, my end of day skincare, at least one water bottle, and then my bullet journal and accompanying pens that always gets added last thing. It’s also been stacked high with extra cold and flu pills, throat soothers, etc while I’ve been sick. I’m usually trying to balance a book on there as well because apparently I’m trying to maximise bedtime as well every other part of the day.
29. SOMETHING UNEXPECTED – This prompt being on my birthday was pretty unnerving since my birthdays are usually a source of stress. There were some tough aspects of the day but there were also some really great parts, including the announcement that Suranne Jones will be performing in An Oak Tree at The Other Palace Theatre in November. I LOVE Suranne Jones and have for years (and was lucky enough to meet her briefly at the end of August – I still can’t quite believe that happened) so seeing her on stage was a very exciting prospect and, although getting access tickets had me more stressed out than I would’ve liked to have been on my birthday, we did get them and I will be going to see her perform! That was definitely very unexpected and definitely very exciting!
30. A FAVE THING – The night before my birthday, on the evening of the 28th, a very cool thing happened: Chloe Bennet, the actress who played Daisy Johnson of Agents of Shield – my biggest special interest character, the inspiration of my song, ‘Last One Standing,’ and the namesake of my Autism Assistance Dog – commented on one of my Instagram videos of my Autism Assistance Dog that used the song, saying that she loved my video and my dog and my song and I’m still freaking out over it days later. It was so sweet of her to comment on it (and in the same roundabout style as the video’s caption) and it’s just really lovely to know that she knows that this character that she played – that she put so much time and work and love into – has had such an impact on my life.
I dropped the ball on this challenge a bit, partly because I was working so much on the music production 30 Day Challenge (which was so fun and I learned so much!) but mostly because I got sick about halfway through the month. I don’t usually catch whichever illness is going around but about once a year, I seem to get absolutely flattened by something and that pattern has continued here. I just about managed to complete my personal goal for the production challenge but that was about all I could manage. Even now, I still don’t feel great, which is more frustrating than anything else at this point. I don’t like being unwell; chronic illness is something I’ve learned how to manage – even if I’m not always practically very good at it – but I still don’t really know how to be short term ill. I’m really, really ready to be feeling better; I’ve got things to do!
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