When you think of suffering, what comes to mind?
Perhaps you imagine the grief of losing someone or the physical pain of an injury.
But what about how we suffer from the complexity of our modern world?
According to Buddhist monk Nick Keomahavong, one cause of suffering in our modern world is that our lives are too complicated.
These days, we have to jump through hoops to keep important parts of our lives running. Finding a new doctor, figuring out how much we owe in taxes, and trying to contact the DMV can feel like rocket science.
It all makes me wonder why we tolerate these complications in the first place. Is it even possible to make life easier for ourselves?
Why is life so complicated?
From the false promise of ease to self-optimization, here are just a few reasons that life feels so complicated:
Reason 1: The false promise of ease
How often have you bought something that promised to make your life easier, only to let it collect dust in the back of a cupboard?
Maybe you’ve been sucked in by guarantees such as:
“This cream will make your skin look better in 7 days.”
“This book will singlehandedly change your life.”
“This water bottle will make your life better than this other water bottle.”
We buy and accumulate things that promise to make our lives easier, yet our lives become more complicated as we try to manage them all.
Plus, when presented with so many options, we’re left with analysis paralysis. Perhaps an electric kettle will make your life easier, but you have to decide which one out of 100 options to purchase.
To avoid the false promise of ease, you have to become more mindful of what you consume, buy, listen to, and engage with.
Unfortunately, our modern world makes this incredibly difficult. We always have to think about what we’re consuming, which brings me to my next point.
Reason 2: The mental load
Writer Karla Starr talks about the unique complexities of our modern world that make life inconvenient. She says:
“What’s messy and tiring and exhausting isn’t just work, it’s home life, paying bills and getting groceries […] It’s climate change and getting out the A/C in March, having a trip cancelled because of a hurricane, remembering your reusable bags in the car, paying $5 for celery, forgetting your frequent shopper card, managing parental controls on electronics, and reading conflicting studies about everything you’ve ever eaten.”
Mental load is the ‘thinking’ work you do daily to keep things running. It’s often used to describe the thinking that goes into running a household, a weight that tends to fall onto a woman’s shoulders.
Mental load is thinking about the to-do list in your head, writing it down on a piece of paper, and then having to do the work on the to-do list. Meanwhile, you’ve got another to-do list for something else happening in your head simultaneously.
We all experience this mental weight in some way or another, and it’s exhausting because it never really ends. You can deplete your energy on the thinking side of things before you even try to do anything.
So what’s the solution?
Some might say we need to systematize our lives to make things easier. Tiago Forte’s Second Brain, where you outsource everything in your head to a digital database, is an example of systematizing your life.
While this can be helpful, it’s one more thing to think about. Surely our brains should be able to keep up on their own? Or perhaps it’s a sign that it’s all too much.
Reason 3: The optimization of human experiences
On the topic of systematizing our lives, we’re also told to optimize every aspect of the human experience.
Author Anne Helen Petersen writes:
“Domestic work is now supposed to check a never-ending number of aspirational boxes: Outings should be “experiences,” food should be healthy and homemade and fun, bodies should be sculpted, wrinkles should be minimized, clothes should be cute and fashionable, sleep should be regulated, relationships should be healthy, the news should be read and processed.”
Everything “should” be the best it can possibly be, or you’re not enjoying life to the fullest.
Perhaps you’ve heard of the term ‘biohacking,’ which means using things like light therapy, supplements, or fitness trackers to enhance your physical or mental performance. Rather than spending time in the sun, you can ‘hack’ the system by shining a lightbox at your face.
When we try to optimize our lives, we’re often met with conflicting information. One health expert may say bananas are healthy, while another says bananas are terrible for your metabolism. This only makes life feel more complicated.
The real problem with trying to optimize the human experience is that we’re saying that we need to solve all of our problems…and fast.
But is the goal really to be problem-free? What if we could find ways to enjoy life without changing every aspect of it?
Perhaps this mindset would stop us from accumulating too much stuff, overwhelming our brains, and shaming ourselves for not having lives ‘perfect’ lives.
How to make life a little less complicated
If we’re suffering because of how complicated life is, how can we make it just a little bit simpler? Here are a few options to ease the burden you might be feeling:
Eliminate rather than accumulate.
We’re told to focus on what we want and pursue it at all costs, but there are many benefits to letting go.
In order to get what you want, you have to make room for it in your life. This can involve letting go of things you thought you needed.
Physical items are an obvious place to start, but clearing your mental and emotional spaces (through meditation, therapy, or journaling) is necessary, too.
Read next: How to Let Go of What Doesn’t Serve You
Close your open loops.
An open loop is an unfinished commitment. It’s essentially when you know you need to do something but you let it bounce around in your brain instead. Closing open loops will reduce your mental load, and I’ve written about the concept here if you want to learn more.
To close open loops, start by identifying one thing that’s lingering in the back of your head. Is there a nagging thought that’s draining your energy (whether mentally, physically, or emotionally)? Decide if you can either eliminate it from your headspace or take action on it in the next 24 hours.
Take a break from the online world.
The internet and social media play a big part in the complexity of our daily lives. While they offer us many benefits, they’re also addictive and keep us stuck scrolling through the thoughts and ideas of others.
Come back to yourself often so you’re not spending all your time in a false reality. Embrace quiet moments, go offline once a week, or try a new hobby that doesn’t involve scrolling.
Focus on what’s easy.
Life is and will always be complicated, but that doesn’t mean certain aspects of it can’t be easy. If you can identify even one thing that feels effortless in your life, extend gratitude for it.
Perhaps you’re grateful for things that come easily to you, relationships that feel uncomplicated, or the way the sun shines each day without you having to do anything.
What one thing could make your life simpler?
I hope this post has made you feel better about the complications of modern life. We often blame ourselves for being unable to “keep up,” but our current world is not set up to be simple.
Remember that not all problems need to be solved right away. The goal is not to have a life free of problems but to find ways to enjoy life despite the problems.
