{"id":89296,"date":"2025-02-15T08:09:33","date_gmt":"2025-02-15T08:09:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/business\/investing\/how-to-improve-your-communications-skills-an-interview-with-matt-perry\/"},"modified":"2025-02-15T08:09:33","modified_gmt":"2025-02-15T08:09:33","slug":"how-to-improve-your-communications-skills-an-interview-with-matt-perry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=89296","title":{"rendered":"How To Improve Your Communications Skills: An Interview With Matt Perry"},"content":{"rendered":"


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Matt Perry, founder of The Other Consulting Group, Ashville, North Carolina.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n


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SPONSORED<\/span>

<\/p>\n

This is the first in a series of interviews about the importance of authentic interpersonal communication and how it can improve business and personal relationships. In February 2025, Chuck Epstein, editor of The Progressive Investor, interviewed Matt Perry, the founder of The Other Consulting Group.<\/em><\/p>\n

Why Don\u2019t We Communicate Better?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

An old Chinese curse says, \u201cMay you live in interesting times.\u201d That\u2019s truer today than at any time in modern American history. So, how do we cope with these interesting times characterized by division, arguments, loneliness, and separation? How do these opposing forces affect our relationships at home, in the workplace, and between our families, friends, co-workers, strangers, and loved ones?<\/p>\n

For years, the prevailing psychological paradigm has been self-help, and many forms of self-improvement. These therapies made you the center of the solution. However, self-help can quickly become selfish if you only focus on yourself. This shows self-absorption,
impatience, and a profound inability to communicate.<\/p>\n

But what if we could discover a better way to communicate?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

SPONSORED<\/span>

<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s where today\u2019s guest offers a unique perspective on contemporary communications practices.<\/p>\n

Matt Perry is the founder of The Other Consulting, based in Asheville, North Carolina. He has spent a lifetime exploring, teaching, and writing about communication, perspectives, and what he calls \u201cThe Other.\u201d He\u2019s here today to talk about this new approach to interpersonal communications and how it can improve personal and workplace relationships.<\/p>\n

CE: Welcome Matt. Can you give us an overview of what The Other Consulting is all
about?<\/p>\n

Matt: Yes! But first, a little history. The idea of \u201cThe Other\u201d comes from the famous book \u201cI And Thou\u201d by German philosopher Martin Buber over 100 years ago. Buber said we could relate to other humans as objects \u2013 \u201cI and It\u201d \u2013 or as absolutely unique, fully human, even sacred beings \u2013 \u201cI and Thou.\u201d Today, with so much divisiveness and animosity, it\u2019s become apparent that most of us see other people as objects. If we can move towards a more humane view of others \u2013 especially among those we disagree with \u2013 our relationships change, divisions dissolve, and the world evolves. That\u2019s the foundation of this new business.\u00a0 \"\"<\/p>\n

CE:\u00a0 Your bio also says you are an award-winning filmmaker, healthcare journalist, and Somatic Coach. In those capacities, you have spent your professional career observing the complex inner workings of people and organizations. What did you discover when you were making these observations?<\/p>\n

Matt: The most important change is that we\u2019re getting worse at listening and connecting. We\u2019re in an era of intense self-absorption. Ask anyone \u201cWhat\u2019s the biggest problem in today\u2019s world?\u201d and they will answer the same: \u201cEverybody\u2019s in it for themselves. They don\u2019t care about anyone else.\u201d<\/p>\n

Have you ever met someone for the first time, and they immediately launched into a lengthy monologue, talking \u201cat\u201d you instead of \u201cwith\u201d you? That\u2019s now very common. Instead of true dialogue, we have two disconnected monologues. It\u2019s maddening.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, we\u2019ve completely lost touch with the importance of communication itself. We blast through emails, texts, and messages without giving any thought to the act itself. We\u2019re so careless and cavalier. Gregory Bateson\u2014who was married to the anthropologist Margaret Mead\u2014said, \u201cCommunication is sacred.\u201d And when we mistreat the form, it becomes an act of violence! It\u2019s that important.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s an example. Do you know what \u201cdialogue\u201d actually means? It\u2019s very different from what we think. Most people think it\u2019s \u201cYou say something\u201d then \u201cI say something.\u201d But true dialogue means something very different. It means to discover something that neither of us knew at the start. Dialogue includes discovery! We\u2019ve completely forgotten that.<\/p>\n

David Brooks, the amazing columnist for the New York Times, wrote that he\u2019s no longer interested in what people believe. Instead, he\u2019s far more interested in why they believe what they believe. What is the story behind their beliefs? Because their story is far more important than anything else. We\u2019re all craving to share our story. Yet, too often, nobody is listening.<\/p>\n

CE: So, what does The Other Consulting offer?<\/p>\n

Matt:\u00a0 Most importantly, the so-called \u201csoft skills\u201d of the past\u2014communication, connection, and empathy\u2014are no longer optional. Today, they\u2019re essential for every organization, especially for managers and leaders. I recently talked to a leadership consultant from Minnesota, and she said something that really shocked me: \u201cToday\u2019s leaders are better off with a degree in psychology than an MBA.\u201d When I heard that, I knew I was on the right track.<\/p>\n

What I offer depends on an organization\u2019s needs. That\u2019s where my journalism experience comes in handy. It\u2019s important not to ask questions\u2026 but to ask the right questions. I help organizations first identify very clearly what the problem is\u2014which is often very different from what they think it is!<\/p>\n

I can work with managers or teams to help them see The Other all around them. Or explore more deeply what\u2019s wrong with the organization. Let me give you some examples. I can work with those terrible bosses who act like dictators and discourage employees instead of encouraging them to be their best. I also help teams collaborate better by encouraging new ideas and creativity, acknowledging that everyone is deeply human \u2013 not just objects to be moved around a chessboard. They should be free to make mistakes. It\u2019s amazing what can happen when people feel seen, heard, and respected.<\/p>\n

I also help with organizational change. So often, a systemic problem within the organization hides in plain sight. Communication is lousy. Distrust is rampant. Morale is in the tank. I offer a Method in which we first discover the real problems, test drive some initiatives to address them, put an \u201cambassador\u201d in charge of each initiative, and then measure outcomes.<\/p>\n

Your website says you \u201chumanize\u201d an organization. Many businesses already claim to be
customer-focused, but you have a different definition. What is it?<\/p>\n

Let me start with a story.<\/p>\n

I once visited my elderly friend Gail who was in rehab following cardiac surgery. The facility was a cross between \u201csenior living\u201d and a hospital. It was very sterile. All the attendants were overworked and underappreciated. And the residents suffered because of it \u2013 they were being treated like objects. Since I wanted good care for my friend Gail \u2013 she\u2019s an absolutely amazing human being \u2013 I decided to try something. A social experiment of sorts.<\/p>\n

One day, when one of her regular caregivers was in the room, I said to her, \u201cGail has lots of people supporting her, but you\u2019re her favorite, and she really appreciates your help.\u201d The caregiver blossomed! Afterward, Gail told me that the woman was even more helpful and attentive. All she needed was to feel seen and appreciated. It\u2019s a thankless job, and she just wanted to be thanked.<\/p>\n

We\u2019re so caught up in data during our \u201cAge of Information\u201d that we think facts are the answer. Actually, it\u2019s the intangible qualities \u2013 those soft skills \u2013 that are becoming more important every day. Data often gets us nowhere.<\/p>\n

Did you know MIT has a Presencing Institute? Leaders with character who are truly present and care about their employees can often solve the most intractable problems. Once again, soft skills take center stage.<\/p>\n

CE: Your website also says, \u201cWe create environments where both sides of any issue can be right.\u201d How can that be, and how do you do that?<\/p>\n

Matt: All the time, I see people arguing about a topic in such black-and-white terms, they\u2019re blind to the possibility of agreement. Common ground isn\u2019t always apparent at first. Sometimes, you have to start as simple as \u201cDo both of us want to be happy?\u201d Yes, of course. \u201cDo both of us want to be treated with respect?\u201d Yes. \u201cDo both of us bleed red?\u201d Yes \u2013 and while that may seem silly to agree on, we\u2019ve moved into the body and how similar we are under the surface.<\/p>\n

The scholar Yuval Noah Harari, author of the book \u201cSapiens,\u201d said something really important \u2013 and I\u2019m paraphrasing. \u201cWe don\u2019t fight over facts; we fight over the stories underneath.\u201d When someone tells you their story, you suddenly get a much more complex and nuanced understanding of their beliefs. An idea that a moment ago you considered \u201cridiculous\u201d or even \u201cinsane\u201d suddenly makes sense. When we humanize The Other, they suddenly become someone shocking, just like us. When we listen to how someone got their beliefs, we often stop fighting them.<\/p>\n

In the real world, one very cool way of achieving this goal is through an immersive experience. Role-playing. It\u2019s easy to get lost in our heads. But the moment we literally \u201cwalk in another person\u2019s shoes,\u201d something very powerful happens. We don\u2019t say, \u201cI know what you\u2019re going through,\u201d but \u201cI feel what you\u2019re going through.\u201d Have you ever seen that TV show \u201cUndercover Boss\u201d? These bosses, in disguise, work for their own companies and really see what life is like! So brilliant.<\/p>\n

CE: Another interesting service you offer, and I have not heard about it before, is somatic practice. Can you define that, and how does it fit into your approach?<\/p>\n

Matt:\u00a0 The \u201csoma\u201d is the Greek word for \u201cbody.\u201d But the Greeks looked at the soma in a much more expansive way. For them, the soma includes everything that makes us human: our family, education, beliefs, diet, nationality, spirituality, sexuality, everything.<\/p>\n

Today, we think that \u201cI\u201d means our mind. What we think. But research is showing us that the body is this incredible haven for all sorts of things. We now know that we actually have the equivalent of brain cells in both our heart and gut. Think about that! And how much sense it makes when we have a \u201cgut feeling\u201d or a \u201cheart connection.\u201d<\/p>\n

We now know that trauma is literally stored in the body, in the muscles and fascia and cells \u2013 everywhere. This explains why talk therapy often doesn\u2019t help trauma victims. In fact, talking often doesn\u2019t help solve many of our problems. We make the huge mistake of thinking that our thoughts and brains are \u201cMe.\u201d Which is completely false. We need to embrace the human body in every part of life. We can discover insights from the body that are beyond the mind. Memories themselves may be stored in the body \u2013 not in the brain. It\u2019s a crazy time of discovery for sure!<\/p>\n

The biggest problem of the modern age is that we are insanely out of balance. We\u2019re stuck in our heads and not truly embodied. If we can move from our heads down into our bodies\u2014especially our hearts\u2014we can solve so many problems, especially connecting with others.<\/p>\n

CE: Since you\u2019ve been studying this for a long time, what changes have you seen in the workplace and in employees that make you think your approach is beneficial and can improve productivity?<\/p>\n

Matt: Well, productivity isn\u2019t necessarily the goal. Happier people who are seen as fully human is the goal. What follows is a cascading series of benefits that include commitment and creativity that lead to better quality work and \u2013 maybe \u2013 higher productivity. A better experience at work means more cooperation, more harmony, and better lives \u2013 including better lives away from work. Work is a subset of life. Not the other way around.<\/p>\n

Yes, there are tons of organizations that \u201cget it\u201d and are doing it right. The first that comes to mind is Zappos, the shoe company in Las Vegas. Immediately, new owner Tony Hsieh decided that Zappos was, first and foremost, a customer service company that just happened to sell shoes. A total inversion of the sales paradigm. Employees were given amazing freedom to be fully human and treat customers as fully human. They\u2019d decorate their office space any crazy way they wanted. Meetings were full of laughter. Staff could do nearly anything they wanted to make customers happy \u2013 often without management approval. The company took off in both sales and popularity. It was such a fun place that everyone wanted to work there.<\/p>\n

CE: This has been a provocative discussion. How can people find out more about The Other
Consulting? How can they contact you, Matt?<\/p>\n

Matt:\u00a0 Thanks. I can be reached via my website, which is www.theotherconsulting.com<\/a><\/p>\n

Or you can call me, Matt Perry, at 916-320-0613.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

SPONSORED<\/span>

<\/p><\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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