{"id":74587,"date":"2025-02-07T23:09:09","date_gmt":"2025-02-07T23:09:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/activist\/nxdia-poems-became-an-escape-for-me\/"},"modified":"2025-02-07T23:09:09","modified_gmt":"2025-02-07T23:09:09","slug":"nxdia-poems-became-an-escape-for-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=74587","title":{"rendered":"Nxdia: \u201cPoems became an escape for me\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <br \/>\n<br \/><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.tcocdn.com\/tco\/images\/Huck\/Nxdia-web-header.jpg\" \/><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><strong>Nxdia:<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.huckmag.com\/topic\/music\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Music<\/a> was always in my mind. I was a bit of a loner as a kid growing up in Cairo \u2013 I got on with everyone, but I also spent a lot of time alone, writing, playing pretend and humming. I didn\u2019t always know how to articulate how I was feeling or processing the world around me, but I always found that writing, pen to paper, the words flowed out so much more and helped me to make sense of stuff. My journals and poems became an escape for me. I\u2019d listen intently to the music mum would play me \u2013 she was an activist, still is \u2013 songs like \u2018<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=huez5QyZ5lI\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Behind the Wall<\/a>\u2019 by Tracy Chapman, \u2018<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Qev-i9-VKlY\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Mercedes Benz<\/a>\u2019 by Janis Joplin and Donia Massoud\u2019s version of \u2018Betnadini\u2019. These were songs I really remember, loved and connected with because of her. While we were still in Cairo, I discovered big pop artists like Britney Spears and Katy Perry, and I became so obsessed. I\u2019d put on shows for my mum, completely immersed in the feeling of pop.<\/p>\n<p>Then we moved to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.huckmag.com\/article\/a-photographers-view-of-manchester-in-the-1970s\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Manchester<\/a> and I remember feeling even more like a loner. There were things I didn&#8217;t understand culturally, people were friendly enough, but everything around me had changed. I\u2019d literally never seen so much rain in my life. I\u2019d gone from having my entire family nearby and food I\u2019d grown up with in our flat in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.huckmag.com\/article\/electro-shaabi\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Cairo<\/a>, to a completely new place, it was a huge change.<\/p>\n<p>The humming and the whirring words in my head intensified. I still kept my journals and wrote poems to try and figure out my feelings. I\u2019d write all these little songs on my ukulele and eventually a bit on a classical guitar, then I started to do YouTube covers and originals. I wanted to share music, but I didn&#8217;t know how. It was just my way of understanding my inner dialogue and the new world I was in. I\u2019d watch so much slam poetry, struck by how people would play with words, it was like a new world was opening up. Then one day when I was singing a song I\u2019d written under my breath, a girl called Safiya shoved her ear in my face. \u201cWhat are you singing? What song is that?\u201d I told her it was just one I&#8217;d made up, and she smiled wide and went \u201cOh, you should be a singer!\u201d and there the seed was planted. It had never occurred to me that you could just want to be singer.<\/p>\n<p>As I started to dream, I imagined a community where I fitted in. And actually, starting my journey into music immediately brought me a sense of connection I hadn\u2019t had before, it made me feel less like a freak, less like I was doing life wrong. I felt like there were people out there who knew what I was going through so intimately, because they were singing things that felt like they&#8217;d been cherry-picked from my brain. Marina and the Diamonds was huge for me, her <em>Family Jewels<\/em> album and <em>Electra Heart<\/em> meant so much to me, the self-reflection, the darkness in big pop and clever writing. My Chemical Romance had me reeled in for the drama \u2013 so much conviction and theatrics in their performances and music \u2013 their song \u2018Mama\u2019 had me like: \u201cFuck yeah, we\u2019re all going to hell.\u201d And P!nk meant the world to me in a different way \u2013 she was tomboyish, straight talking and so kick-ass, I thought she didn\u2019t give a fuck and was just doing everything her own way. She was not what I had in mind in a pop star. She was so free, so liberated \u2013 I wanted to feel that freedom so bad.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Nxdia: Music was always in my mind. I was a bit of a loner as a kid growing up in Cairo \u2013 I got on with everyone, but I also spent a lot of time alone, writing, playing pretend and humming. I didn\u2019t always know how to articulate how I was feeling or processing the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":74588,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12022],"tags":[38446,7742,38445,6439,13433,11208,30637,38448,4307,19243,1297,411,38447,1513],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-74587","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-activist","tag-alt-pop","tag-artists","tag-egyptian-british","tag-escape","tag-experiences","tag-forces","tag-its","tag-nxdia","tag-poems","tag-rebels","tag-series","tag-shaped","tag-shapeshifter","tag-today"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Nxdia: \u201cPoems became an escape for me\u201d - Som2ny Network<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=74587\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Nxdia: \u201cPoems became an escape for me\u201d - Som2ny Network\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Nxdia: Music was always in my mind. I was a bit of a loner as a kid growing up in Cairo \u2013 I got on with everyone, but I also spent a lot of time alone, writing, playing pretend and humming. 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