{"id":7080343,"date":"2026-10-08T21:43:17","date_gmt":"2026-10-08T21:43:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7080343"},"modified":"2026-10-08T21:43:17","modified_gmt":"2026-10-08T21:43:17","slug":"problems-are-just-gifts-in-ugly-wrapping-paper","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7080343","title":{"rendered":"Problems Are Just Gifts in Ugly Wrapping Paper"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n<\/p>\n

\n

Ugh<\/em>. Problems. Besides death and taxes, one thing we can count on being part of our life whether we like them or not is problems.<\/p>\n

I was recently talking to my therapist about a problem I was dealing with\u2014a frustrating problem in our business. (Yep, we have problems too!) I told her I just wanted to engineer the stress out of the business.<\/p>\n

She paused and asked, \u201cDo you think that is a realistic expectation?\u201d<\/p>\n

How the World Works<\/h2>\n

I sighed. Of course not, any more than saying I wanted to have a stress-free experience raising five kids. It got me thinking. Maybe I had unconsciously adopted a definition of success that was not only unrealistic but also a setup for more<\/em> stress and disappointment:<\/p>\n

\n

Success = The Eradication of All Problems and Stress<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Certainly, we want to remove what problems and stressors we can. I don\u2019t want to repeat mistakes or make decisions that get me into hot water unnecessarily. And I want to be a good student of life so I don\u2019t have to \u201cgo to school\u201d for anything I could have easily avoided.<\/p>\n

But like you Ive been around long enough to know, if I\u2019m honest, that every person I\u2019ve ever met has experienced problems of one kind or another. Same with every season I\u2019ve ever been through. It doesn\u2019t matter how mature, healthy, or resourced you are, problems come to us all.<\/p>\n

As a person of faith, I believe this is not only part of how the world works, but it also holds the keys to some of our greatest growth opportunities, and ultimately, blessings themselves.<\/p>\n

Gifts in Ugly Wrapping Paper<\/h2>\n

In that same conversation with my therapist I told her that when I thought about all the problems I\u2019ve ever faced and all the hard things I\u2019ve ever been through there wasn\u2019t one that turned out as bad as I feared. That includes every parenting, health, financial, and relational crisis!<\/p>\n

In fact, not only did the worst-case scenario never play out as I feared, but each \u201cproblem\u201d usually turned out to be a gift in ugly wrapping paper, one I\u2019d never return (though admittedly an experience I\u2019d never want to repeat either).<\/p>\n

I told my therapist that I wanted to start a \u201crock jar\u201d where I added a rock to one jar for every major problem I faced. Then, once that problem is resolved, I have a \u201cturned out okay\u201d jar and a \u201cdidn\u2019t turn out okay\u201d jar. Depending on the outcome, I would choose the jar that best fit.<\/p>\n

You can see where I\u2019m going: My hunch is that the \u201cdidn\u2019t turn out okay\u201d jar remains empty, while the \u201cturned out okay\u201d jar ends up full.<\/p>\n

\"\"\/<\/figure>\n

A New Definition of Success<\/h2>\n

So, if problems are somewhat unavoidable\u2014especially if you are a parent, a leader, a business owner, or a generally ambitious person pursuing big goals\u2014how should we think about them, if not as a threat to our mental health and well-being?<\/p>\n

Well, I think we redefine success along these lines:<\/p>\n

\n

Success = Navigating Problems with Self-Awareness and Self-Regulation to the Best Possible Outcome<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

In other words, if you regularly encounter problems in your life, it doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re doing anything wrong. Dealing with them is a normal part of life and a skill we can improve with intention and practice.<\/p>\n

When I think about problems this way, a few things happen to me:<\/p>\n

1. I don\u2019t live in fear of them.<\/strong> Just the mere acceptance that problems are a normal, inescapable part of life and business calms my nervous system. How about you?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s funny. When we don\u2019t make \u201cproblems\u201d problematic, they don\u2019t cause as much anxiety. It\u2019s kind of like having a random medical symptom, thinking for sure it means you are dying, only to realize it\u2019s no big deal. The realization causes the anxiety to dissipate, even if the problem doesn\u2019t go away.<\/p>\n

2. I don\u2019t beat myself up for encountering them.<\/strong> When I change my definition of success to be about successfully navigating<\/em> problems rather than eliminating<\/em> them, I don\u2019t feel bad about myself or my leadership when I find myself facing yet again another problem to solve. This definition allows me to focus on building my problem-solving toolkit, which we\u2019ll talk more about next week.<\/p>\n

I become intentional about my analysis of problems and understanding the root of them. I get better at thoughtful decision-making by getting the right outside (or inside) input when needed, and I make a thoughtful plan of action instead of reacting to the surge of emotions I initially feel.<\/p>\n

3. I trust myself to navigate them more successfully.<\/strong> When I notice all the rocks in my \u201cit turned out okay\u201d jar, and how few there are (if any) in the \u201cit didn\u2019t turn out okay\u201d one, I experience a surge in confidence in my ability to traverse the stormy waters of problems.<\/p>\n

After all, my track record\u2014and yours\u2014is 100 percent! We\u2019ve come out on the other side of every problem we\u2019ve faced, right? And, if we\u2019re intentional, we\u2019ve learned invaluable lessons that make us better and better at facing them. Experience suggests we have no reason to fear that we won\u2019t be successful in finding a way through the next obstacle we face because we always do!<\/p>\n

4. I experience less stress because of this perspective.<\/strong> Ironically, accepting that problems are likely to be our constant companions in life and business\u2014instead of trying our hardest to avoid them or begrudging them when they come up\u2014actually lowers our stress. It\u2019s counterintuitive, but resisting problems makes them worse and a lot more stressful.<\/p>\n

In Every Season and Situation<\/h2>\n

I am often asked by young parents if I have any advice on how to consistently incorporate a thorough morning routine into their schedule. As a mother of five kids, I know that idealism is incredibly discouraging when you have to face how impossible it is day after day.<\/p>\n

Instead, I always recommend people lower the bar, welcome the season they\u2019re in, and scale their expectations accordingly. It\u2019s true for more than parenting. It\u2019s true for every season and situation.<\/p>\n

Of course, that doesn\u2019t resolve the problems we face. I\u2019m excited to share some thoughts on problem-solving with you next week. But for now, just notice how you react when problems arise. What\u2019s your perspective on challenges that come your way? Are you responsive or reactionary? It has everything to do with how successfully we navigate them.<\/p>\n

Your turn: How do you deal with stressful situations when they arise?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

AI Disclosure: This newsletter was written by a human\u2014me\u2014for a human\u2014you! I sometimes use AI for research, to critique my writing, or to proofread before I publish. But the words I choose, the sentences I write, and the ideas I share come from my brain and out through my fingertips onto the keyboard before they find their way to your inbox. If that ever changes, I\u2019ll tell you. Thanks for reading, and thanks for being a human.<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

Last modified on September 29th, 2026 at 12:07 pm<\/p>\n

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, we will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, we only recommend products or services we use and believe will add value to our readers. We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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