{"id":7079273,"date":"2026-10-07T13:41:23","date_gmt":"2026-10-07T13:41:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7079273"},"modified":"2026-10-07T13:41:23","modified_gmt":"2026-10-07T13:41:23","slug":"4-words-to-help-recovering-perfectionists-not-get-stuck-look-up-sometimes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7079273","title":{"rendered":"4 Words to Help Recovering Perfectionists Not Get Stuck \u2013 Look Up Sometimes"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n<\/p>\n

\n

The Struggle is Real<\/h3>\n

I have this bad habit of letting my desire for perfection paralyze me over the stupidest things (and some not-so-stupid things).<\/p>\n

Like cleaning the house. Maybe it doesn\u2019t help that I enjoy watching HGTV that features jaw-dropping renovations, transforming every inch into equal parts function and beauty. Then I turn off the tv and gaze at reality. Who wants ugly functionality? Or a beautiful waste of space? But when I chalk up how many things it\u2019d take to be perfect, it highlights that the struggle is real and so are the limitations.<\/p>\n

Even in the areas over which I have control it can feel like stepping into quicksand. Have you ever read Marie Kondo\u2019s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up<\/em>? Have you ever completed all her suggestions? Yeah, me neither. I got buried somewhere in my closet, lost motivation, and threw a funeral for my desire to ever have that Pinterest perfect home.<\/p>\n

Which, actually, is not a bad idea. To throw a funeral that is \u2013 figuratively speaking.<\/p>\n

Then he said to them all: \u201cWhoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. Luke 9:23 (NIV)<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n

Why Does Perfectionism Require a Funeral?<\/h3>\n

Google\u2019s definition of perfectionism is: refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.<\/p>\n

Author Shannon Popkin in Comparison Girl: Lessons from Jesus on Me-Free Living in a Measure-Up World<\/em> defines it as \u201canother form of pursuing status.\u201d<\/p>\n

I already realized that perfectionism was a wrecking ball to God\u2019s offer of an abundant life. But I had no idea that perfectionism is really saying that I want to BE perfect more than I want a relationship with Perfection, Himself! <\/p>\n

(By the way, that\u2019s Satan\u2019s backstory\u2026) <\/p>\n

Be on God\u2019s side or be God\u2019s enemy\u2026 Duh! That\u2019s an easy choice.<\/p>\n

Daily taking up my cross and dying a thousand little deaths? Not an easy choice. Some people glorify God bearing trauma and forgiving their neighbor for stoning them nearly to death for building a church while some relinquish their desire to be perfect. (Makes it seem a little easier, right? True story<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n

What Does Relinquishing Perfectionism Look Like?<\/h3>\n

This is serious stuff that festers deep below the surface but it can appear is such subtle ways that recognizing it can be difficult. (At least in ourselves \u2013 I\u2019m sure others don\u2019t have a problem recognizing it in us.)<\/p>\n

So first I have to recognize it. I\u2019ve noticed in my own experience that perfectionism can sometimes be accompanied by anxiety, which can quickly escalate into paralysis if I don\u2019t do something about it.<\/p>\n

It can happen like a sneak attack. One minute I\u2019m going about my mundane tasks not thinking I\u2019m trying to do them perfectly \u2013 just trying to do them well, but then life happens and I don\u2019t meet my own<\/em> expectations. Next thing I know, I\u2019m either angry, trying to put time and energy on a credit card, or berating myself. Any or all of the above could be indicators that perfectionism has taken residence.<\/p>\n

Lately, four words have kept me from drowning in the overwhelm that accompanies the attack of perfectionism: Commit to the process.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n

That\u2019s Nice But Is it Scriptural and What Does That Even Mean?<\/h3>\n

Jesus answered, \u201cI am the way<\/strong> and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.\u201d John 14:6 (NIV)<\/em> (emphasis mine)<\/p>\n

The way I see it, committing to the process \u2013 or the Way \u2013 is just another way of saying I\u2019m committing to God. To following Jesus. To being a Son-follower. But it\u2019s helpful to word it this way, \u201ccommit to the process,\u201d because of the nuances it implies.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve grown up going to church, maybe you\u2019ve heard words thrown around that no one uses in real life, like sanctification \u2013 the process<\/strong> of being made holy. And you may have wrestled with the mystery of God\u2019s job in making us completely holy and our job in cooperating with Him to become what He says we already are (Philippians 2:12-13; Romans 8:29-30). I\u2019m not attempting to unpack that mystery, but I think it\u2019s beneficial for me to trust that God can take care of His responsibility while I focus on mine.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n

If perfectionism is worshiping myself and refusing to accept anything less than perfection from myself, then in contrast, committing to the process is having a relationship with Perfection, Himself<\/strong>. This means not only acknowledging that Jesus is the source of perfection but also accepting His perfection, which includes: 1) His perfect love for me that drives out fear and gives me the greatest status I could ever hope for, 2) His declaration that all my striving \u201cIt is finished,\u201d and 3) His grace generously dished out continually.<\/p>\n

When you put it that way, it sounds like a no-brainer to throw a funeral for perfectionism! Let\u2019s go! But applying this knowledge takes practice. And we all know that practice implies that we aren\u2019t going to necessarily get it right the first time, or many times, in the learning process.<\/p>\n

In a way, that\u2019s kind of the whole point: It\u2019s a process. Therefore, commit to the process.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n

What Does this Look Like Practically Speaking?<\/h3>\n

Jesus told me what to do \u2013 take up my cross and follow Him. Practically speaking, that means don\u2019t overthink it and start acting. Yes, strive for excellence while worshiping God, but<\/strong> don\u2019t worship excellence while striving to be God.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Quit thinking so much about my dream home and start de-cluttering one shelf in my closet: commit to the process. Just pick one thing and do it. The goal is committing to the process, to the Way \u2013 not attempting perfection.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Overwhelmed by yard work? Commit to the process. Water something, pick a handful of weeds, plant something, just do SOMETHING. Maybe more on days you have more time but KEEP GOING. Every day do one thing.<\/p>\n

Parenting got me done and all I can see are all the ways I\u2019m failing? Commit to the process. Remember I\u2019m not doing it alone. God loves my kids more than I do. Spend fifteen minutes investing in a kiddo. Pray for them. Just keep going.<\/p>\n

You can insert whatever it is that you wish was perfect into these scenarios. The answer is the same: Commit to the process.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n

Commit to the Process: This is Doable!<\/h3>\n

I have to keep repeating this over and over, trying to internalize a new goal to serve Jesus, not myself. Not my own agenda. Not my own ideas of perfection. Perfection, Himself, invites me to serve Him. And, ironically, He is not a hard master.<\/p>\n

When I crave loving God more than I crave loving to BE God, I can always be satisfied. <\/em>Because God is not asking me to serve Him with what I don\u2019t have. If I was diligent but still don\u2019t have enough time to get a project to the standard that I\u2019d prefer, then I have the job of realizing God\u2019s objective is not the same as mine and I have to make a choice between whose agenda is more important \u2013 His or mine.<\/strong><\/p>\n

God is so much kinder to us when we serve Him than we are to ourselves when we subject ourselves to ill-placed worship. Attaining perfection, we all know intuitively, is not possible. But having a relationship with Perfection is<\/em> possible.<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cI don\u2019t need easy, I just need possible.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bethany Hamilton, Soul Surfer<\/cite><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cGod made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.\u201d 2 Corinthians 5:21 (NIV)<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n

Yeah, But\u2026<\/h3>\n

But what about when that shelf in the closet doesn\u2019t turn out as good as I hoped? What about when I look at all the other shelves that still need to be organized and want to give up? It\u2019s the same answer that saved me from the overwhelm the first time: Commit to the process.<\/p>\n

What overwhelms you? What feels impossible? When do you start beating yourself up? What project do you hate leaving unfinished? What bothers you the most that\u2019s not perfect?<\/em><\/p>\n

How could we begin to reframe perfectionist thinking with \u201ccommit to the process\u201d instead? We may not be required to endure being stoned but we might be asked to do one thing in the area that feels most overwhelming. Or we might be asked to temporarily set aside something that is important to us in order to reorder our priorities. <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n

The \u201cfuneral\u201d for perfectionist thinking may look different each day, but instead of getting stuck or paralyzed by our inability to be perfect, may God help us commit to the process of worshiping Perfection, Himself.<\/strong><\/p>\n

P.S. I\u2019m kind of shocked actually at how powerful those four words have been for me. The photos in this post are all from my garden as a reminder to me that committing to the process produces a beautiful result (even if it requires more than one growing season). <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Struggle is Real I have this bad habit of letting my desire for perfection paralyze me over the stupidest things (and some not-so-stupid things). Like cleaning the house. Maybe it doesn\u2019t help that I enjoy watching HGTV that features jaw-dropping renovations, transforming every inch into equal parts function and beauty. 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