{"id":7078954,"date":"2026-10-07T05:57:32","date_gmt":"2026-10-07T05:57:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7078954"},"modified":"2026-10-07T05:57:32","modified_gmt":"2026-10-07T05:57:32","slug":"9-11-the-family-collaborative-edition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7078954","title":{"rendered":"9\/11, the family collaborative edition"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n<\/p>\n

\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I tell Natalie I\u2019m not calling 911 until she sends the thank-you note for yesterday\u2019s job interview. I tell her, \u201cI\u2019d rather die from a heart attack knowing you sent that email.\u201d<\/p>\n

She tells me I sound like the people who stayed at their desks on 9\/11, and she dials 911 herself.<\/p>\n

The EMT asks if I have medical conditions. The list is too long, so I say no.<\/p>\n

Natalie says, \u201cShe has autism.\u201d<\/p>\n

They ask me how bad the pain is. I have no idea what to say. Relative to childbirth? A one. Relative to how embarrassed I am for calling 911 for a heart attack? A three. I think my embarrassment is a four.<\/p>\n

We are two blocks from a world-renowned hospital because it\u2019s Boston. I have thought about many scenarios where there\u2019s a terrorist attack and I\u2019m okay because there are so many doctors in Boston that the whole city is a triage unit. I tell the EMT I can walk to the hospital.<\/p>\n

\u201cMom, no. You are not walking to the hospital. There are people here to help you.\u201d<\/p>\n

I shield my face while they wheel me out on a gurney. Really I\u2019m just embarrassed. I\u2019m too young to be having a heart attack.<\/p>\n

The EMT wheels me into the ambulance and asks if I\u2019ve ever had a panic attack.<\/p>\n

I consider telling him he should not minimize women\u2019s medical symptoms. But the ambulance quarters are too tight for soapboxes, and likable people get better medical treatment. Not that I\u2019d know. For me the idea is aspirational. So I tell him I had a panic attack right after 9\/11. \u201cI was there,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n

He says, \u201cThen you\u2019d probably recognize it now, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

Wait. What? We are not going to talk about 9\/11? If he were my age he\u2019d tell me where he was that day. If he were a millennial he\u2019d say, \u201cWow. I\u2019m sorry you had to go through that.\u201d But he\u2019s Gen Z. He doesn\u2019t care.<\/p>\n

I feel grateful that Natalie always looks for exits. It\u2019s her Gen Z nod to my incessant training.<\/p>\n

Natalie says goodbye. The EMT takes my pulse. I tell myself I have to treat myself like precious cargo. I wouldn\u2019t walk toward burning buildings like I did on 9\/11<\/a>, but I feel that feeling coming back: It\u2019s so over the top to fret about my own wellbeing.<\/p>\n

I think: What would Kim K do? She has a grand sense of self, and she would feel it was very important to have someone rule out a heart attack. I channel Kim\u2019s self-esteem long enough to settle into my gurney.<\/p>\n

Z calls because Natalie called him. He asks if I have a will. I tell him I\u2019ll be fine. He asks me to put the EMT on the phone.<\/p>\n

I remember when I ended up at someone\u2019s apartment on the Upper West Side after 9\/11 and Nino told me to put someone else on the phone. When he tells the story, he says when he finally got me on the phone I sounded completely out of my mind. I wonder if Z thinks I\u2019m completely out of my mind right now, or if he\u2019s just internalized the routine from hearing the story so often.<\/p>\n

At the hospital entrance there are four people on ambulance beds. I think it\u2019s the maybe-I-had-a-heart-attack entrance. The guy next to me tells the nurse he got off a plane because he wasn\u2019t sure if he was having a heart attack, but he didn\u2019t want to be in the air. I feel less alarmist about calling an ambulance.<\/p>\n

The guy\u2019s voice has the spunk and verve of a football announcer. The nurse asks what medicine he\u2019s on and he explains the list by way of surviving brain surgery and stomach cancer. He\u2019s a living miracle. I try to look a little perkier, like we\u2019re all living miracles. But I can\u2019t muster it. I have to work on not dissociating so much that I forget why I\u2019m here.<\/p>\n

They call my name and I realize that when I die I\u2019ll die as Adrienne, not Penelope. There are no pen names in the ER.<\/p>\n

Now a nurse is hooking stuff up to my breasts and there\u2019s an understanding that I\u2019m too old to flinch or take cover. Then she asks, \u201cDid those socks get dirty from walking around here?\u201d I tell her I forgot shoes. But really they\u2019re always that dirty.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a mom with two little boys. The kids keep asking about their dad. The mom says they can see him soon. They ask and ask until she gives them paper. One boy says, \u201cWhat should I do?\u201d The mom says, \u201cDo some j\u2019s and b\u2019s.\u201d I\u2019ve been in that mom\u2019s position for so long that I have to remind myself I\u2019m not anymore.<\/p>\n

I wish I brought my laptop. So I must be fine now. Dying people don\u2019t ask for their laptop.<\/p>\n

Though I wonder if I might, because I wrote during labor. The second time, when I got an epidural. The first time I was ignorant enough to commit to natural childbirth even though the doctor induced labor. I told Nino, \u201cDon\u2019t let them give me an epidural. It\u2019s us against the nurses.\u201d But I told him that in the first trimester, when I still thought a mom had control over the baby. In labor and delivery the pain was so bad I told Nino to get me a gun. If you\u2019re wondering what Nino did, he did nothing. He just sat in the chair for the dads.<\/p>\n

My chest still hurts.<\/p>\n

I think I might be having a panic attack because I\u2019ve had a plan for two years to do something for the 25th anniversary of 9\/11, and it\u2019s two days before and I have nothing. Well, I have two suggestions from the kids.<\/p>\n

Natalie says I should write about new evidence that New York knew the air after 9\/11 was unsafe and told people to go back to work anyway.<\/p>\n

I ask her, \u201cWhat\u2019s your point?\u201d<\/p>\n

She says, \u201cThe point is our government killed more people cleaning up 9\/11 than the terrorists killed knocking down two buildings.\u201d<\/p>\n

Z says I should write about how when his friends need an example of why his family is weird, he tells them his mom was at 9\/11. He says, \u201cThe real reasons would overwhelm them.\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019m scrolling through 9\/11 notes on my phone looking for where there\u2019s a story. The nurse tells me my bloodwork is fine. She says, \u201cIt\u2019s good you came in. At your age you shouldn\u2019t take any risks with your heart.\u201d<\/p>\n

I nod. They discharge me.<\/p>\n

Nino walks me home from the hospital. He tells me Gil Scott-Heron came up on his feed.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRemember? He\u2019s the poet who was arrested when I volunteered in the jail after 9\/11. The security guard asked for his autograph.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat? I don\u2019t remember that. I think you told someone else.\u201d<\/p>\n

He says, \u201cWho else would I have told? There\u2019s been no one but you.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I tell Natalie I\u2019m not calling 911 until she sends the thank-you note for yesterday\u2019s job interview. I tell her, \u201cI\u2019d rather die from a heart attack knowing you sent that email.\u201d She tells me I sound like the people who stayed at their desks on 9\/11, and she dials 911 herself. The EMT asks […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7078955,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[221761],"tags":[19602,1837,730],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-7078954","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-world-trade-center","tag-collaborative","tag-edition","tag-family"],"yoast_head":"\n9\/11, the family collaborative edition - Som2ny Network<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7078954\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"9\/11, the family collaborative edition - Som2ny Network\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I tell Natalie I\u2019m not calling 911 until she sends the thank-you note for yesterday\u2019s job interview. 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