{"id":7075206,"date":"2026-10-04T04:33:52","date_gmt":"2026-10-04T04:33:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7075206"},"modified":"2026-10-04T04:33:52","modified_gmt":"2026-10-04T04:33:52","slug":"help-your-child-start-school-with-confidence-nurture-parenting-magazine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7075206","title":{"rendered":"Help Your Child Start School with Confidence \u2013 Nurture Parenting Magazine"},"content":{"rendered":"


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Hannah Davison, author of the <\/i>My Big Moments<\/i><\/span><\/a> book, \u2018<\/i>Ready for School<\/i><\/span><\/a>\u2019, hears from three experts for practical ideas to help your child start school with confidence.<\/i><\/p>\n

We often ask kids if they\u2019re \u2018excited about starting school\u2019, but, unless they\u2019re familiar with the concept of school from having an older sibling, they may not know how to answer, or how they should feel about it.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt can be overwhelming because everyone makes such a big deal about turning five and starting school,\u201d says Abby Linn, Registered Play Therapist at Creative Coping (www.creativecoping.co.nz<\/span><\/a>). \u201cIt can actually cause more anxiety for children. If your child brings up school and asks questions, then, that\u2019s your opportunity to talk about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

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School readiness<\/b><\/p>\n

Turning five doesn\u2019t mean that a child is necessarily ready to start school and enter a more structured classroom environment. In New Zealand, parents have the choice of starting their child at school any time between the ages of five and six. Determining the best time to start may be a decision that parents come to on their own, or by talking to their child\u2019s preschool teacher and prospective new entrant teacher.<\/p>\n

At new entrant level, there\u2019s no expectation of academic ability, but there are signs you can look for as an indication of their school readiness, as well as things you can do to help them prepare to start school.<\/p>\n

Kylee Habgood, Assistant Principal at Amuri Area School, says it\u2019s practical skills that serve school starters best. \u201cWriting and recognising their name is helpful, but not essential,\u201d she says. \u201cIf your child turns up keen and interested, then they\u2019re ready. They\u2019ll pick the rest up really quickly.\u201d<\/p>\n

There is now greater emphasis on a child\u2019s sense of well-being as an indication of how they\u2019ll adapt to their new environment. Children who first need to overcome feelings of anxiety are neurologically less able to take on new learning and information.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf the child isn\u2019t right within themselves, then any amount of learning is not going to help,\u201d says Kylee.<\/p>\n

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Encouraging independence<\/b><\/p>\n

Parents can help children build confidence by fostering their independence around some of their \u2018big kid\u2019 abilities, making their daily life at school much easier.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf your child can manage those little things like putting their shoes on and getting themselves to the toilet, it goes an awfully long way,\u201d says Kylee.<\/p>\n

Developing greater self-sufficiency around getting dressed, putting on shoes, packing their bag, being able to open everything in their lunchbox, looking after their belongings, and getting themselves to the toilet helps as they enter an environment where they are expected to do more things for themselves.<\/p>\n

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Getting prepared<\/b><\/p>\n

Abby Linn recommends involving kids in the preparation process by letting them choose their school bag, lunch box, drink bottle, name labels and book covers. Allowing children to take the lead on decisions that help them prepare for going to school, gives them a greater sense of ownership and control over the changes that are coming. Starting school becomes something they then feel part of<\/i>, rather than something that\u2019s happening to <\/i>them.<\/p>\n

Neuroscience Educator, Nathan Wallis<\/a><\/span>, suggests that it\u2019s more important for a child\u2019s brain development in that first year of school to focus on social integration and building confidence in themselves as a learner, rather than academic achievements. For children to be able to start school with confidence he points out that, \u201cThe biggest issue is around creating predictability for the child. Eldest children have the most trouble transitioning into school because they don\u2019t know what to expect.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nathan recommends arranging a visit outside of school hours, or when school is quiet, to orientate the child. They can then find out where their classroom is, where they\u2019ll eat lunch, what the playground looks like, and how to find the toilets. When the school is quiet, the child can focus on creating predictability around this new environment without becoming distracted or overwhelmed by other people.<\/p>\n

Formal school visits are usually arranged as children approach their start date. These provide an opportunity for both parents and child to get to know their teacher and have some experience in the classroom environment.<\/p>\n

\u201cKids can get to school and feel anxious or unsure about what\u2019s going on or how to behave,\u201d says Kylee Habgood. \u201cIt\u2019s really important that it\u2019s safe, warm and welcoming, and the teacher is building that relationship [with the child]. At school, we are their number one support person.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Transitioning into school life<\/b><\/p>\n

Sometimes meeting that five-day-a-week school life commitment can involve major routine changes in the home. It\u2019s helpful to start establishing a new routine in the days and weeks leading up to a child starting school.<\/p>\n

\u201cAvoiding an emotional rollercoaster for everybody in the morning comes back to taking ownership and setting a routine,\u201d says Abby Linn.<\/p>\n

Abby recommends taking photos or drawing pictures of the morning routine to make a visual checklist for kids to follow as they get ready for school. This could include getting dressed, having breakfast, brushing hair and teeth, packing their bag, putting on their shoes and getting into the car.<\/p>\n

However, it\u2019s often managing the \u2018drop-off\u2019 at school that can cause the most concern for both the parents and child. \u201cWhen a child is experiencing an unpredictable situation, their brainstem is aroused,\u201d says Nathan Wallis. In other words, they have entered \u2018fight or flight\u2019 mode. Neurologically, this means they are not capable of taking on new information and adapting to change.<\/p>\n

To help support children perform the task of learning and integrating into the school environment, kids need to feel safe and secure. In those early weeks of starting school, it\u2019s beneficial to build a good relationship with the child\u2019s teacher and develop strategies for managing the transition at drop-off.<\/p>\n

Nathan emphasises the importance of never leaving a child alone in an empty space during these transitions as it can create feelings of insecurity. He recommends a physical transfer inside the classroom from their parent, or primary caregiver, to their primary teacher and that this should be consistent, supportive, and predictable for the child.<\/p>\n

He encourages the child\u2019s parent or caregiver to be available if necessary, during those early days if they\u2019re needed. \u201cIt\u2019s important to do whatever makes them feel the most secure in that environment,\u201d says Nathan.<\/p>\n

Abby Linn says, \u201cTalk to your teacher about your child\u2019s disposition, how they cope, what makes them anxious and things that help them settle. Your teacher will have strategies but knowing more about your child will help them to work out which strategy to apply. Whether it\u2019s a distraction technique or physical comfort, it depends on the child and what they need to feel safe and ok,\u201d says Abby Linn.<\/p>\n

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Coping strategies<\/b><\/p>\n

Abby recommends developing coping strategies if separation anxiety is an issue, so parent and child can feel connected even when they can\u2019t physically be together.<\/p>\n

Matching bracelets, leaving lunchbox notes, and drawing a love heart on a stone are some of the ideas she suggests. A child can keep their \u2018smile stone\u2019 in their pocket and give it a squeeze when they feel they need to. If allowed, kids could also bring a transitional toy or comfort item from home with them to class.<\/p>\n

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Building language tools<\/b><\/p>\n

Practising dialogue at home with kids is a good way to build their confidence in reaching out to their peers and making friends. Through role-play, you can teach them words and phrases they can use to invite someone to play, sit with them at lunch or ask for help when they need it.<\/p>\n

However, Abby Linn points out that children may not yet have the vocabulary they need to communicate new and unfamiliar issues that may arise. She reminds us to keep an eye out for non-verbal cues, indicating something is creating anxiety, and helping them name the feelings they\u2019re experiencing to build their language tools.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s about reading what your child\u2019s not <\/i>saying and acknowledging that it\u2019s new and it can be overwhelming, then putting a plan in place so that they don\u2019t have to feel worried,\u201d says Abby. \u201cThey might be fussing over their shoes, uniform or hair, or not wanting to get in the car. It\u2019s not necessarily about those things, it\u2019s about what the next step is after that.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Celebrating the journey<\/b><\/p>\n

Abby recommends parents celebrate the effort and curiosity a child puts towards their learning rather than being concerned with outcomes and results.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s really important not to put our own views and perceptions on what\u2019s good or bad, or what\u2019s expected, or what\u2019s not. It\u2019s about encouraging the learner and the trier in your child,\u201d says Abby.<\/p>\n

Expert tips for confident school starters<\/p>\n

Before starting school<\/b><\/p>\n