\n
Everyone deserves a peaceful home, and the adults in the home need to work together to make this happen. There are three levels of peace in the home: the physical home, the emotional home, and the spiritual home.<\/p>\n
Regarding the physical home, this is what I wrote in 2015 when our children were 14 and under:<\/p>\n
There are many sayings to the effect of you can have happy children or a clean home but not both.\u00a0 I think there is some truth in that in a small way.\u00a0 Right now, I have gymnastics mats that have been made into a large track circling my kitchen counter and the children run \u201cP.E classes\u201d all day on and off complete with laps and push ups and sit ups.\u00a0 Eventually the mats will have to be cleaned up so I can mop my floor, but I can live with it for a few days.\u00a0 There is a 2000 piece puzzle on my dining room table that most likely will sit there for some days.\u00a0 However, the rest of the house is clean and tidy.\u00a0 The laundry is done and folded and put away.\u00a0 We have food in the refrigerator and I know what we are going to make for our meals.<\/p>\n
This is for me.\u00a0 An ordered home that reflects beauty and peace mirrors how I feel inside.\u00a0 I am a very visual person, and therefore I find that for me, it is easier on me to keep my home clean and orderly for my own mental health.\u00a0 When everything is strewn everywhere and dirty, I cannot focus on anything else.\u00a0 I live here all day, and it has to reflect a certain something of myself and what we value as a family.\u00a0 We value love, and one way we love and nourish each other is to have a home that is livable, where food and clean clothes and cleanliness is apparent.<\/p>\n
There has been some studies that suggest cluttered homes actually equate with depression and that clutter in and of itself can make us feel more anxious.<\/p>\n
I have come to the conclusion after many years of homemaking, that the foundation of parenting (and homeschooling) is homemaking.\u00a0 It may be tiresome to\u00a0do dishes day after day and know there will be more dishes tomorrow.\u00a0 It may be tiresome to wash, fold and put away five loads of laundry and know there will be more laundry tomorrow.<\/p>\n
Yet, I think this is the foundation of a practice of serenity.\u00a0 This is one of the biggest spiritual practices we can find, if only we will slow down enough to take up the opportunity.\u00a0 Trying and doing cultivates the will.\u00a0 So, knowing how you want to tackle your home \u2013 what system works well for you, is important.\u00a0 Flylady has worked well for me, along with having a specific day to run errands so we have food and other necessities on hand.\u00a0 I use a home delivery service for eggs, honey, organic produce and\u00a0 organic dairy; Amazon Prime and Costco helps keep my pantry stocked; and I am trying a meat CSA that delivers about every six weeks in order to keep everything stocked and on hand.\u00a0 Sometimes it is not in my nature to be organized (except for school work for some reason!) and I have to work hard to try and do and pass this on to our children, who will be running their own homes some day.<\/p>\n
Now our children are all sixteen years old and older, and some not living here anymore, but having a well-ordered home is still important. The constraints are different \u2013 homeschooling, working outside the home, living on a farm that is synonymous with mud from now until June \u2013 but the idea of having less clutter, having small (not expensive) things that are beautiful is important. Clean is important!<\/p>\n
The emotional level of the home resides in warmth. Warmth doesn\u2019t have to be in words and constantly (anxiously) checking in. It can be a steady presence, a warm smile, laughter, giving space. I first became interested in warmth when my children were very small (and our oldest is twenty four, so this was quite some time ago) as I learned about the importance of warmth (physical warmth and otherwise) in the Early Years of Waldorf homeschooling and Waldorf parenting. \u00a0The development of the senses, of which warmth is one of the human senses, supports the way we relate to each other and the development of the child. \u00a0This is why you see so many small children wrapped up warmly in woolens and other natural fibers during the winter. But if one digs deeper into the background of this sense, there is more.<\/p>\n
An interesting point about warmth comes from the book \u201cOur Twelve Senses: How Healthy Senses Refresh the Soul\u201d by Albert Soesman. He posits that as we, and children, meet the world, the world responds to us in two ways: either we receive something when our attention, interest is answered and we feel a sense of belonging or we feel left out. \u00a0This is true warmth. \u00a0Steiner equated warmth as being the first sense of man. \u00a0In a way, Steiner saw all senses as being created from the sense of warmth \u2013 a process of differentiation teased out all the other senses from this one.<\/p>\n
In parenting and in teaching, I think it can be easy to give off more coldness than we intend. Being with children 24\/7 , answering questions 24\/7, functioning on very little sleep, can make us feel distant. I don\u2019t think we have to be perfect parents to raise children well. \u00a0In fact, I think good and real and authentic parenting demands imperfection, but also observation. The feeling of warmth in the home is a great place to start.<\/p>\n
Lastly, there is a spiritual layer to the home. This can be in gratitude, and in how we do our own inner work and self development. This is something that we need to do daily, pencil it in on the rhythm of the day or on a calendar if we must. Inner work varies person to person. If you follow Waldorf homeschooling, you may find ideas amongst Rudolf Steiner\u2019s writings regarding inner work. If you follow a specific religious path, you will find ideas there. Many people create their own path. Your path itself may look different depending upon if you are focused upon your children, you yourself as a homeschooling teacher or parent or you yourself as the human being. Perhaps we cannot separate ourselves as teacher and self so easily, but I often find what often needs to be nurtured in times of homeschooling or parenting burnout is not more ideas for me as a teacher or a parent, but ideas for me as a human being who is separate and distinct from the children and the family.<\/p>\n
Rhythm truly is the foundation of all of these layers in the home. Rhythm is the best kind of discipline; it often shows us that we are trying to just cram way too much into our days.\u00a0 There is a time and a place for things, and there is an order in which we do things.\u00a0 We have lunch, and then we have a nap.\u00a0 We play, and then we clean up.\u00a0 We don\u2019t pull out fifty toys in a big heap, but have an order to putting things back and putting things up.\u00a0 Rhythm strengthens the will of the child, and brings the chaos of the physical and emotional life into order.\u00a0 What a valuable skill to model for young children!<\/p>\n
February is a wonderful month to put goals into place, to rouse slightly from the caozy, warm, meditative space of January. A peaceful home helps make everything else come to fruition!<\/p>\n
Warmly,<\/p>\n
Carrie<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Everyone deserves a peaceful home, and the adults in the home need to work together to make this happen. There are three levels of peace in the home: the physical home, the emotional home, and the spiritual home. Regarding the physical home, this is what I wrote in 2015 when our children were 14 and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7074114,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[97917,96625,98772,102978,234840,116221,113012,143483,11932,143012],"tags":[3843,1159,31116],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-7074112","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-education","category-family","category-family-life","category-gratitude","category-home-organization-2","category-homeschool","category-homeschooling","category-inner-work-2","category-parenting","category-rhythm","tag-february","tag-home","tag-peaceful"],"yoast_head":"\n
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