{"id":7072902,"date":"2026-10-02T12:57:17","date_gmt":"2026-10-02T12:57:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7072902"},"modified":"2026-10-02T12:57:17","modified_gmt":"2026-10-02T12:57:17","slug":"what-is-it-why-narcissists-do-it-and-how-to-respond","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7072902","title":{"rendered":"What Is It, Why Narcissists Do It, and How to Respond"},"content":{"rendered":"


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Narcissists are manipulative, and engaging with one can be draining as it is. They use tactics to manipulate others to the end, leaving others with no confidence and little to no self-worth. At that stage, you have no choice but to leave the toxic relationship behind. That\u2019s when hoovering comes in. Hoovering is a manipulative tactic where the narcissist \u201csucks\u201d you back into the relationship.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This kind of behavior comes when the narcissist is afraid that others will get away from them. To keep others in the relationship, they use other tactics such as love bombing, stalking, or even crying to take the other person\u2019s energy and time, keeping them forcefully in the relationship.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

However, it\u2019s not just narcissists who engage in hoovering. Anyone with personality disorders, such as <\/span>borderline personality disorder <\/span><\/a>(BPD), <\/span>narcissistic personality disorder<\/span><\/a> (NPD), and <\/span>antisocial personality disorder<\/span><\/a>, can use hoovering as an emotional manipulation tactic.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s learn what hoovering someone means, what it looks like, and how you can deal with hoovering.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

What is Hoovering?<\/h3>\n

In psychological terms, hoovering is a type of emotional abuse and manipulation that occurs when a narcissist typically feels that someone is leaving or wants to leave the relationship. To keep others in the relationship, a narcissist tries to gain attention even if it\u2019s negative, to lure the other person back into their relationship. To do so, a narcissist might use other tactics such as gaslighting and love bombing.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Insecurity, fear, or relationship uncertainty can cause anyone to hoover. While this manipulative tactic is generally related to narcissists, people with other personality disorders can also engage in it to keep their relationships and life from crumbling around them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Emotional dysregulation is a common challenge for those with personality disorders, causing low self-worth. People with personality disorders experience frequent mood swings, erratic behavior, feelings of emptiness, and a need for attention.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoovering Examples in Real Life<\/h3>\n

Hoovering can happen in any relationship \u2013 romantic, family, or friendship. If hoovering continues in a relationship, then it can become toxic, and over time, hoovering can become a distorted way of communication between people involved.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Common hoovering examples you can see in real life can include:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n