{"id":7071289,"date":"2026-10-01T11:45:14","date_gmt":"2026-10-01T11:45:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7071289"},"modified":"2026-10-01T11:45:14","modified_gmt":"2026-10-01T11:45:14","slug":"october-2026-mile-nerd","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7071289","title":{"rendered":"October 2026 | Mile Nerd"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Neighbor To Neighbor<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sitting on a flight back from Hawaii.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I booked us in 17A and 17C. The window and aisle. Is this luxurious? Nope. But it tends to work out fine\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Best case, the middle seat is empty. Big win!<br \/>Worst case? I always just say the same thing to any rando being sandwiched:<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u201cIf you let me hog the armrest, you can take this aisle seat.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Without fail, they\u2019re thrilled to jump at the unexpected offer.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Well\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This total wackadoo next to me is attempting to make history.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So, yeah, it\u2019s in-flight diary time\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2014<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">How did this go so wrong?\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Let\u2019s retrace the steps:<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">1 \u2013 She accepted my offer. Aaaaaand\u2026<br \/>2 \u2013 Is still TOTALLY hogging the armrest.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s quite the pickle.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Our nonverbal armrest battle is not how I want to spend the next 5 hours.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Aloha vibes. They shall protect me from going to war.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Just breathe.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We\u2019ll figure this out.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2014<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I mean, I was totally clear on the terms \u2013 aisle seat for her, armrest for me.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Did she not understand? Did she forget?? Does she just not care???<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Looking back, there was indeed a clear first sign of trouble.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I asked if she needed help with her bag. \u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Her response? An ice-cold:<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u201cGimme a MINUTE\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I see.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So sorry to bother you with an offer to lift that heavy bag. \u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sincerely,<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A complete stranger who is both losing his mind and his armrest\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2014<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Four hours to go.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Can\u2019t remember a time before our arms were touching.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I believe she\u2019s trying to shove me off this armrest.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It. Will. Not. Happen.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Apparently, she doesn\u2019t know how many times I\u2019ve watched Over The Top starring Sylvester Stallone. An underrated classic. With a plot that revolves around arm-wrestling.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I know ALL the secrets to this sport.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Settle, bro.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Just surf the Aloha vibes.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">At least for the remainder of this flight.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2014<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Three hours to go.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Current status? Dying slowly inside.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Y\u2019know that sorority girl smoker voice\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She has it.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Nails on a chalkboard combined with old timey casino worker. \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">By the way, she\u2019s nowhere near sorority\/college age.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That didn\u2019t stop her from wearing Vans and pajama pants, though.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Please send help.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2014<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If I had to guess her age?<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My target range would be somewhere between 30 and 75.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Either grew up in the Britney Spears era or during the Korean War.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As with all the best lunatics\u2026it\u2019s impossible to know how old she is.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She\u2019s timeless.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Much like rabies. Or the plague.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Two hours to go.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2014<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Her pasty, scaly arm is now overflowing to my side of the armrest.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We keep\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Rubbing.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I\u2019m trying to remember a life before the feel of her rough skin against mine.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In some cultures, this could qualify as dating.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">On that note, I might be infected with something.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Is there a doctor nearby?<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Or an exorcist?<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2014<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She\u2019s watching a strange video on her phone.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Good time to ponder the question:<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Which is worse?<br \/>A) Her smokey, snorty laugh.<br \/>Or<br \/>B) The dry, leathery skin rubbing against my arm as she <s>dry heaves<\/s> giggles.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The correct answer is\u2026kill me now.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I once heard a bird screech \u2013 while dying \u2013 after a truck hit it.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My seat neighbor\u2019s laugh is a more unpleasant sound.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2014<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ok, that last part was a <em>slight<\/em> exaggeration. \u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But this is 100% true:<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She just spread her legs like a dude and scratched her crotch.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For real.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Aloha vibes.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Hold on to them for dear life. \u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2014<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ah, yes, the familiar sound of her snorting.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She\u2019s texting a friend.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Is that a laugh or some sort of coughing spasm?<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Her writing style is interesting. \u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Imagine typing exclusively with words from The Douchebag Handbook.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I see \u201clit,\u201d \u201cfam,\u201d and a half-dozen uses of \u201clowkey\u201d on that screen.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She appears to be \u201chere for it\u201d on all subjects.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2014<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The bane of my existence is currently asleep\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Face down on her tray.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Possible signs of drool.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But I have now, finally, taken sole ownership of the armrest.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A rare win.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The calm before our next storm.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Most people look peaceful when they sleep\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She just looks like trouble on pause.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One hour to go.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2014<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Damn.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I need to use the bathroom.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Big dilemma.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I <em>could<\/em> hold it in the hopes of lasting until the airport. Uncomfortable? Yup. But she might stay passed out for the rest of this flight\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Strong option.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">OR\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I could risk possible death by waking a pit bull from its nap.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Tough call.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bladder is screaming for relief. \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2014<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Shit.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Couldn\u2019t hold it any longer.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Upon further review, I should\u2019ve just peed in a cup.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Uh, yeah, she wakes up cranky.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">An odd and very intense energy right now. \u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Her seat movements could best be described as\u2026turbocharged.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2014<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Great time for our next question:<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Is she coked up?<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Hard to say. But zero chance I\u2019m approaching the armrest right now.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Might lose a finger in the tornado.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Are we there yet?<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2014<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I often hear the word, \u201cmeditation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Her current state is the exact <strong>opposite<\/strong> of that. \u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Waking her up was a huge mistake.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Remember the movie \u201cGremlins\u201d when that cute little guy turns into a demon?<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is kind of the same.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">(Minus the cute part)<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2014<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We\u2019re getting off the plane now.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She looks\u2026wobbly.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I\u2019m starting to wonder if those laughs really were a coughing fit.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Wait, was that drool\u2026or snot?<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Hold on, is she sick??<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Oh, no.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2014<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">3 days later:<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.milenerd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/IMG_9497-scaled.jpg\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"414\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/www.milenerd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/IMG_9497-414x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-40966\" style=\"aspect-ratio:0.4042978881067062;width:148px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.milenerd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/IMG_9497-414x1024.jpg 414w, https:\/\/www.milenerd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/IMG_9497-121x300.jpg 121w, https:\/\/www.milenerd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/IMG_9497-768x1900.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.milenerd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/IMG_9497-621x1536.jpg 621w, https:\/\/www.milenerd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/IMG_9497-828x2048.jpg 828w, https:\/\/www.milenerd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/IMG_9497-100x248.jpg 100w, https:\/\/www.milenerd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/IMG_9497-758x1876.jpg 758w, https:\/\/www.milenerd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/IMG_9497-880x2178.jpg 880w, https:\/\/www.milenerd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/IMG_9497-846x2094.jpg 846w, https:\/\/www.milenerd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/IMG_9497-1184x2930.jpg 1184w, https:\/\/www.milenerd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/IMG_9497-scaled.jpg 1034w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 414px) 100vw, 414px\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/p><\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Neighbor To Neighbor Sitting on a flight back from Hawaii. I booked us in 17A and 17C. The window and aisle. Is this luxurious? Nope. But it tends to work out fine\u2026 Best case, the middle seat is empty. Big win!Worst case? I always just say the same thing to any rando being sandwiched: \u201cIf [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7071290,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12028],"tags":[15883,21558,4517],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-7071289","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-airline","tag-mile","tag-nerd","tag-october"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>October 2026 | Mile Nerd - Som2ny Network<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7071289\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"October 2026 | Mile Nerd - Som2ny Network\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Neighbor To Neighbor Sitting on a flight back from Hawaii. I booked us in 17A and 17C. The window and aisle. Is this luxurious? Nope. But it tends to work out fine\u2026 Best case, the middle seat is empty. Big win!Worst case? I always just say the same thing to any rando being sandwiched: \u201cIf [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7071289\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Som2ny Network\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-10-01T11:45:14+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/1737535406_s-l960.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7071289#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7071289\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/#\/schema\/person\/b85e3c3dc0e1daea076524dc8810c371\"},\"headline\":\"October 2026 | Mile Nerd\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-10-01T11:45:14+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7071289\"},\"wordCount\":923,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7071289#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/IMG_9497-414x1024.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Mile\",\"Nerd\",\"October\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Airline\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7071289#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7071289\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7071289\",\"name\":\"October 2026 | Mile Nerd - 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