When friends and other people from our social support network<\/a><\/span> start saying \u201cno\u201d to invites, it can be difficult for us to know how to process that. Too often, we often come to the wrong conclusion when this happens. This is what I want to explore in today\u2019s article, as I\u2019ve been that person whose pulled away.<\/p>\n As life changes, we often find ourselves in situations where our friends who usually love hanging out with us and doing stuff with us may suddenly start saying \u201cno\u201d to invites. Almost without fail, most of us may feel like it\u2019s something we\u2019ve done, and start feeling pretty shitty about ourselves. Self-doubt is such a pain sometimes. So before we start assuming the other person doesn\u2019t want to be our friend<\/a><\/span>. Consider this article.<\/p>\n No one likes that sense of rejection, but is the rejection we\u2019re feeling real? That\u2019s the question.<\/p>\n The instinct to assume we\u2019ve done something wrong can be quite powerful. But there are a million and one reasons why it isn\u2019t because of us. The most common issue is something like a change of circumstances, like entering a new relationship, having children, changing jobs, or moving away.<\/p>\n But the main one I want to discuss today is the one that often gets forgotten about, and that\u2019s the change to our friend\u2019s internal world. When our mental wellbeing is struggling, we have a tendency to pull away from those around us, the very people who may be able to help us manage that struggle. Thus, we start saying \u201cno\u201d to invites.<\/p>\n It\u2019s one of the most annoying paradoxical habits we humans have.<\/p>\n Before we start blaming ourselves, it helps to understand why someone might suddenly pull away and start saying \u201cno\u201d to invites. In today\u2019s world, where we barely have time to look after our own mental wellbeing, our friends\u2019 mental wellbeing and feelings of being overwhelmed are things to consider.<\/p>\n Even without conditions like depression<\/a><\/span> or social anxiety<\/a><\/span>, which often cause us to retreat and start saying \u201cno\u201d to invites, general stress<\/a><\/span> and a lowering of our mental wellbeing can be enough to cause us to socially isolate ourselves.<\/p>\n Social interaction requires energy\/spoons<\/a><\/span>, and when someone is burnt out<\/a><\/span>, saying \u201cno\u201d to invites becomes a self-preservation mechanism. There are also changes to people\u2019s health<\/a><\/span> that might need to be considered, as many health<\/a><\/span> conditions, chronic illnesses, and disabilities can greatly affect our energy levels.<\/p>\n As previously mentioned, there are also things like major life transitions and life stressors<\/a><\/span>. It\u2019s also all too easy to experience financial stress<\/a><\/span> at the moment, as the cost of living crisis<\/a><\/span> bites hard; as such, our friends may not feel able to share that they can\u2019t afford to do the suggested activities.<\/p>\n Then there\u2019s the high-pressure workload that often comes with organisations expecting us to do the work of multiple people so they can save money on staff. There are also things like family crises, becoming a parent, etc.<\/p>\n Prioritisation shifts could also be a factor, where hanging out with us has moved down the priority list. Most often, this is a result of starting a new relationship or starting a family, but can also be because they\u2019re chasing a new personal goal<\/a><\/span>.<\/p>\n Less common is relational friction. It\u2019s rare for something like this to suddenly happen overnight, but there is a chance an unaddressed misunderstanding or conflict has made them pull away. Thus, they start saying \u201cno\u201d to invites.<\/p>\n It might also be useful to try the ask-twice<\/a><\/span> approach, as people have a tendency to comply with social expectations<\/a><\/span> when asked this kind of question, which is to just say \u201cI\u2019m fine\u201d<\/a><\/span>.<\/p>\n Same with high-cost activities; maybe suggesting hanging out at our home will mean they\u2019ll be more likely to say \u201cyes\u201d, or even just switching to a video hangout to close the distance or lack of free time gap.<\/p>\n We can start by simply expressing that we miss hanging out with the other person. Then follow up with asking, \u201cIs everything ok between us, or do you just need some space right now?\u201d<\/p>\n Every relationship with anyone can benefit from boundaries<\/a><\/span>. I know it can be difficult to not take it personally when the people we care about aren\u2019t accepting our invites, but try to remind ourselves that people rarely withdraw out of malice; they usually do it out of exhaustion.<\/p>\n There are also many factors that have nothing to do with us that come into play. I lost a lot of my close friends when I moved away, because it became very difficult to maintain the friendship with that distance existing.<\/p>\n It\u2019s also important to not hold open prime weekend and evening slots for someone who consistently turns us down or cancels plans. Even good friends can be flaky. Keep living our life and making alternative arrangements where we can, or learn to fit them around our reliable friends when it comes to making plans.<\/p>\n This means we\u2019re leaving the door open for them, and if they have confirmed they just need space, we can let them know we\u2019ll be there when they\u2019re ready to start hanging out again.<\/p>\n When our friends are pulling away for reasons others don\u2019t know, like poor mental health, us stopping inviting them altogether without any context can feed the reason why they pulled away. The concern that they\u2019ll just continue saying \u201cno\u201d to invites can be a powerful force in making assumptions like this.<\/p>\n It\u2019s so easy for the negative intrusive thoughts<\/a><\/span> to convince us that no one likes us or that we\u2019re a burden<\/a><\/span> to our loved ones the worse our mental health gets. So don\u2019t stop inviting them to things completely, and ideally, try reaching out to them.<\/p>\n When my health started to decline, and I was still struggling with psychosis<\/a><\/span> and two anxiety disorders<\/a><\/span>, I was saying \u201cno\u201d to invites a lot, or cancelling. It was just too much to juggle at once in a lot of the social situations I was being invited to. I wanted to go, but I just couldn\u2019t. Now I\u2019m more able to say \u201cyes\u201d because I have everything better under control.<\/p>\n On the flip side, it can also cause people to feel a lot of pressure if we keep bombarding the person who\u2019s saying \u201cno\u201d to invites with more invites because they\u2019ll feel bad for declining.<\/p>\n Again, reducing the frequency of the invites and mixing up the kind of invites we make can be useful. But never underestimate the power of reaching out and checking in.<\/p>\n When it feels like a friend is distancing themselves by saying \u201cno\u201d to invites, there may be more at play than meets the eye. It\u2019s easy to default to thinking they don\u2019t like us anymore, but that is rarely the case.<\/p>\n There are many, many reasons why someone might decline our invites, and most of them have little to do with us. Health<\/a><\/span> issues, work, stress<\/a><\/span>, romantic relationship changes and difficulties, or worsening mental wellbeing are often the most common reasons.<\/p>\n I know it\u2019s easier said than done, but we need to try not to take it personally and instead think of the other possible reasons. And with any relationship, good old communication can often be the one thing that\u2019s needed.<\/p>\n As always, leave your feedback in the comments section below. Also, please share your experiences with friends saying \u201cno\u201d to invites in the comments section below. Don\u2019t forget, if you want to stay up-to-date with my blog, you can sign up for my newsletter below. Alternatively, click the red bell icon in the bottom right corner to get push notifications for new articles.<\/p>\n Lastly, if you\u2019d like to support my blog, please find the PayPal and Ko-fi donation payment options below. Until next time, When friends and other people from our social support network start saying \u201cno\u201d to invites, it can be difficult for us to know how to process that. Too often, we often come to the wrong conclusion when this happens. This is what I want to explore in today\u2019s article, as I\u2019ve been that person whose […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7069565,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[99852,98079,120213,96877,98236,106169],"tags":[1517,35243,7613,15984,15887,952],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-7069564","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice","category-general","category-me","category-mental-health","category-relationships","category-support","tag-friend","tag-invites","tag-relationships","tag-starts","tag-suddenly","tag-support"],"yoast_head":"\n\u00a0<\/h6>\n
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When A Friend Starts Saying \u201cNo\u201d To Invites<\/h2>\n
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What To Do When A Friend Starts Saying \u201cNo\u201d To Invites<\/h2>\n
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Uncover the root cause<\/strong><\/h4>\n
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Choosing the right approach<\/strong><\/h4>\n
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Manage our boundaries<\/strong><\/h4>\n
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What Not To Do When A Friend Starts Saying \u201cNo\u201d To Invites<\/h2>\n
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Assume they want space<\/strong><\/h4>\n
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Keeping spamming them with invites<\/strong><\/h4>\n
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Summary<\/h2>\n
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Un<\/del>wanted Life readers.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"