{"id":7067088,"date":"2026-09-26T04:00:06","date_gmt":"2026-09-26T04:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/activist\/kindness-activist-kindness-rejections\/"},"modified":"2026-09-26T04:00:06","modified_gmt":"2026-09-26T04:00:06","slug":"kindness-activist-kindness-rejections","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7067088","title":{"rendered":"Kindness Activist: Kindness Rejections"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n<\/p>\n

\n

Last night we had the virtual
\nmonthly meeting of the Kindness Book Club (yes, there is a Kindness Book
\nClub!!).<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>We are reading a book called \u201cA
\nYear of Living Kindly\u201d by Donna Cameron.<\/span>\u00a0
\n<\/span>The book is split into 12 sections, which makes it perfect to meet
\nmonthly to discuss.<\/span><\/p>\n

Our topic this meeting was
\n\u201cResistance to Kindness\u201d.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>If you have
\nnever sat down to ponder it (or read Ms. Cameron\u2019s book), you might not have
\nconsidered that there are, indeed, barriers and resistance to kindness.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And that resistance applies in both
\ndirections \u2013 in GIVING and in RECEIVING kindness.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was an interesting read
\nand even better to talk about with the other group members.\u00a0 <\/span>The author examined the topic from several
\nangles.\u00a0 <\/span>For example, let\u2019s say someone
\npays you a compliment.\u00a0 <\/span>Compliments are
\nKINDNESS in action.\u00a0 <\/span>The book quotes another
\nauthor, Dr. Dale Turner, who said, \u201cWhen someone gives you a compliment in
\nwords, don\u2019t disagree or minimize what he said, for words are gifts, too.\u00a0 <\/span>Accept them gracefully, even if you don\u2019t
\nthink you deserve them\u2026\u00a0 <\/span>A compliment is
\na gift not to be thrown away carelessly unless you want to hurt the giver\u201d.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Oh my \u2013 that shines a
\ndifferent light on my (and many other females\u2019) often instant reaction to compliments.\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cSusan \u2013 your outfit is so cute today!\u201d a
\nfriend might say.\u00a0 <\/span>To which I may
\nrespond, \u201cOh, this?\u00a0 <\/span>I got it free from a
\nneighbor.\u00a0 <\/span>It doesn\u2019t really fit me that
\ngreat\u2026\u201d.\u00a0 <\/span>Or if someone compliments my
\nwork as an interpreter.\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cHey, you were
\namazing interpreting that meeting.\u00a0 <\/span>It went
\nso smoothly, and your word choices were terrific\u201d.\u00a0 <\/span>To which I often say things like, \u201cOh thanks\u2026\u00a0 <\/span>But ugh.\u00a0
\n<\/span>I could not think of the English word for that sign.\u00a0 <\/span>I felt like I was fumbling trying to piece
\nthat one sentence together\u2026\u201d or some other derogatory comment about my own
\nwork.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

When I (when WE) do that,
\nwe unconsciously offend the compliment giver.\u00a0
\n<\/span>In a sense, we take the beautifully wrapped compliment they handed us,
\nshake the box around a bit, and hand the present right back to them.\u00a0 <\/span>Rude, right?<\/span><\/p>\n

Another chapter talked
\nabout how no kindness is ever too small, and that we should be on the look-out
\nfor \u201cTNT\u201ds \u2013 Tiny Noticeable Things.\u00a0
\n<\/span>They are the small bits of kindness that are scattered throughout our
\nday that many of us are too busy to notice.\u00a0
\n<\/span>TNTs are not big, grand gestures.\u00a0
\n<\/span>They are the opposite \u2013 little things that we can do (or receive) that,
\nif we notice them, can make the world a better place.\u00a0 <\/span>Because, you see, these TNTs add up<\/i>.\u00a0 <\/span>One smile from a stranger.\u00a0 <\/span>One wave from a child on a bus.\u00a0 <\/span>One person holding the door\u2026\u00a0 <\/span>Tiny thing compounded with another tiny thing
\nadded to yet another tiny thing\u2026\u00a0 <\/span>Until,
\nif we are observant, they are not TINY anymore, but they have grown into a
\ngreat big blob of kindness!\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But the chapter that held
\nmy attention most was the one about the phenomenon of people REJECTING the
\nkindness that we offer them.\u00a0 <\/span>Oh, that
\nsubject hit home with me!<\/span><\/p>\n

We often have our efforts
\nrejected in our work with Kindness Activist.\u00a0
\n<\/span>That is something I didn\u2019t expect when I set out on this adventure.\u00a0 <\/span>I guess I subconsciously just assumed that if
\nwe were to OFFER<\/b> kindness to someone, they would of course ACCEPT<\/b>
\nit.\u00a0 <\/span>But I have learned that is not the
\ncase\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span>The people in grocery stores who refuse to let us pay
\nfor their order.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span>The people in cars at the red light who won\u2019t roll
\ndown their windows when we smile and hold up a sign saying HAPPY PI DAY and try
\nto give them a pie.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span>The strangers who refuse to make eye contact, let
\nalone return my greeting, when I smile and say hello to them.<\/span><\/p>\n

People reject kindness
\noften.\u00a0 <\/span>That\u2019s why when I talk with
\ngroups about Kindness Activist, I often say you have to be willing to fail at
\ngiving kindness.\u00a0 <\/span>You have to have thick
\nskin to be kind.\u00a0 <\/span>You have to be
\nbrave!\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In \u201cA Year of Living
\nKindly\u201d, the author talks about how once the kindness we have offered is
\nrejected by someone, it may make it difficult for us to try again the next
\ntime.\u00a0 <\/span>We may hesitate.\u00a0 <\/span>After all, no one likes feeling scorned.<\/span><\/p>\n

I know that this is true
\nin our kindness work.\u00a0 <\/span>I recall times
\nwhen we offered to pay for someone\u2019s groceries and they said no (usually it is
\na polite no, but a no none the less).\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s
\nso awkward!!\u00a0 <\/span>We are literally standing
\nright next to them.\u00a0 <\/span>Where do we move
\nto?\u00a0 <\/span>What do we say?\u00a0 <\/span>What do we do??\u00a0 <\/span>AWKWARD<\/i>!\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

What we usually<\/i> do
\nis walk away (feeling embarrassed).\u00a0 <\/span>We
\nre-group.\u00a0 <\/span>And we look for another person
\nto be kind to.\u00a0 <\/span>Only, once we have failed
\nat giving kindness, we are not as eager to get back on the horse and try again\u2026\u00a0 <\/span>I come up with LOTS of excuses in my
\nhead.\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cOh, that person will not accept
\nif we offer \u2013 they have quite a lot of groceries and they will think it is too
\nmuch money\u2026\u201d.\u00a0 <\/span>And, \u201cOh, let\u2019s not ask that<\/b>
\nman.\u00a0 <\/span>Men always say no!\u201d (which is a gross
\novergeneralization, but honestly, men do reject our offers of kindness more often
\nthan women do).\u00a0 <\/span>I am embarrassed to
\nadmit that we have sometimes given up and just left the store after being rejected.\u00a0 <\/span>(We always try again another time, but I feel
\nmore trepidatious and less excited\u2026)<\/span><\/p>\n

I tell you about these
\nfailures because I wanted to share a story of something that happened just
\ntoday.\u00a0 <\/span>I failed at kindness today.\u00a0 <\/span>But I didn\u2019t give up this time!\u00a0 <\/span>And I think that is because we had talked
\nabout this very topic at book club last night.<\/span><\/p>\n

This morning, I saw a post
\nin a large Facebook group called \u201cArlington Neighbors Helping Each Other\u201d, a
\ngroup that has 51,600 members.\u00a0 <\/span>A woman wrote
\nexplaining that she had taken down her previous post because of the mean
\nspirited, negative comments that were made on it.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I had not seen the original
\npost, but could surmise from comments on the newer one that it had been about
\nwarning neighbors of a potentially dangerous situation at a local school.\u00a0 <\/span>The woman felt attacked by some commenters,
\nso much so that she cried at work.<\/span><\/p>\n

I felt angry.\u00a0 <\/span>I was mad that people felt emboldened to
\nattack her for what she had said, especially in a group literally named \u201cNeighbors
\nHelping<\/i> Each Other\u201d.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But after I got mad, I
\ncommented.\u00a0 <\/span>I told her that I was sorry
\npeople had been mean and disrespectful to her.\u00a0
\n<\/span>And I asked her to please check her messages because I was writing to
\nher.<\/span><\/p>\n

Because\u2026\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I realized that this sad
\nsituation presented a perfect opportunity for KINDNESS!\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I wrote: \u201cHi there. I just saw your post in
\nthe Arlington Neighbors page. I didn’t see the deleted post, but I want to say
\nthat I’m sorry people were nasty and mean.<\/span>\u00a0
\n<\/span>I used to think our town was somehow different and that hatred wouldn’t
\nget here, but sadly it has.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I founded
\nand run a non-profit called Kindness Activist. We exist to spread kindness. I
\nknow it’s not much, and it’s not like it will change the world, but we would
\nlove to treat you to lunch today. We can have something delivered.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I was excited to see when
\nshe had read the message.\u00a0 <\/span>But then her
\nrejection of my kindness popped in\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHi Susan! Thank you for
\nreaching out! I really appreciate the offer, but maybe that lunch can be given
\nto someone more in need! I think with everything going on it just makes me sad.\u00a0 <\/span>\u2026The comments on the post just got to me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Dang!\u00a0 <\/span>Rejection.<\/span><\/p>\n

Only, because we had
\ntalked through this very topic last night, I decided to give it one more
\nshot.\u00a0 <\/span>Yes, I was a bit embarrassed and I
\ndidn\u2019t want to seem like I was groveling.\u00a0
\n<\/span>And maybe it was easier to try a 2nd<\/sup> time because this was
\nover a keyboard and not standing next to her at a restaurant\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

So, I said, \u201cOur
\nphilosophy is that EVERYONE deserves kindness! \u00a0<\/span>Some of our work is needs based, but some is
\nwhat we like to call “magic based”. We would love to gift you lunch
\nif you are open to it, just to add a tiny ray of sunshine to your crappy day.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She read my message.<\/span><\/p>\n

She seemed to think about
\nit for a moment\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

AND THEN SHE ACCEPTED!<\/span><\/p>\n

It worked!\u00a0 <\/span>Being brave enough to offer a 2nd<\/sup>
\ntime (with more explanation) gave her the opportunity to accept the gift.\u00a0 <\/span>I was so happy!<\/span><\/p>\n

She told me her order, I
\nplaced it via UberEats, and a short while later I presume she was sitting down
\nand eating that tasty lunch.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I share this story to
\nremind you to be kind.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Even when it is hard.<\/span><\/p>\n

Even when you get
\nrejected.<\/span><\/p>\n

Even if it seems like it
\nis a teeny tiny kindness that certainly can\u2019t really make a difference\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Because acts of kindness
\nDO make a difference.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

One grand act of kindness
\nat a time.\u00a0 <\/span>Loads of tiny of acts of
\nkindness.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

They.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Make.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>A.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Difference.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

WE can make a
\ndifference.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

We can, as this sweet kid artist told us on this sign, “Make the world a better plase.”<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Last night we had the virtual monthly meeting of the Kindness Book Club (yes, there is a Kindness Book Club!!).\u00a0 We are reading a book called \u201cA Year of Living Kindly\u201d by Donna Cameron.\u00a0 The book is split into 12 sections, which makes it perfect to meet monthly to discuss. 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Som2ny Network","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7067088","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Kindness Activist: Kindness Rejections - Som2ny Network","og_description":"Last night we had the virtual monthly meeting of the Kindness Book Club (yes, there is a Kindness Book Club!!).\u00a0 We are reading a book called \u201cA Year of Living Kindly\u201d by Donna Cameron.\u00a0 The book is split into 12 sections, which makes it perfect to meet monthly to discuss. 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