The doctor didn\u2019t need to say the words. I remember her eyes more than her voice when we got the diagnosis: Stage Four. Not long.<\/p>\n
From diagnosis to death, he had six weeks.<\/p>\n
Fifteen years of love. And then suddenly\u2026 an ending.<\/p>\n
The beginning of fear set in, a lie straight from Satan.<\/p>\n
Life Changes<\/h2>\n
The small apartment I moved to after selling our home was a type of quiet I wasn\u2019t used to, an emptiness I felt all the way through to my bones. I stood in the middle of the living room, still in yesterday\u2019s clothes, listening to the silence except for the steady hum of the refrigerator and the creak of the old pipes behind the walls, with my arms crossed like I was holding myself together\u2013because something had to.<\/p>\n
The ache in my chest wasn\u2019t just grief anymore. It had settled into my body.<\/p>\n
I\u2019d just been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. My whole body hurt. My heart hurt. I hadn\u2019t smiled in weeks, maybe longer. I dropped to my knees right there on the worn carpet. No plan for a prayer. Just a sob that rose up from somewhere deep and guttural.<\/p>\n
\u201cGod,\u201d I whispered, \u201cI can\u2019t do this. I thought I could\u2026 I always do\u2026 but I can\u2019t. Not anymore. Not without Your help.\u201d<\/p>\n
Letting Go of Fear<\/h2>\n
That day was the start of letting go of fear.<\/p>\n
But the obedience part?<\/p>\n
That came later. And it came quietly, over coffee.<\/p>\n
Related Post<\/strong>: Grace Upon Grace for Weary Hearts<\/a><\/p>\n One day I sat outside a caf\u00e9 in a small town I had lived in briefly after Ron\u2019s death, sipping coffee in the breeze. I looked across the courtyard and saw a church I had once visited. It hadn\u2019t felt right then, and I finally understood why.<\/p>\n I knew it was time to work on the inside of me.<\/p>\n God had brought me this far, but I began to realize I was still holding on to parts of the past. That was preventing me from moving forward and living a good life in the present.<\/p>\n \u201cI can\u2019t do this on my own strength,\u201d telling myself I had little to grab onto.<\/p>\n Related Post: When You Are Facing the Unknown<\/a><\/p>\n For 15 years following his death, I\u2019d been clinging to what had been\u2013Ron, our life. In my isolation, I\u2019d read back through old journals and found little epiphanies, God stories, gentle nudges showing me it was time to build life anew. Satan\u2019s strongholds began to lose hold.<\/p>\n Gaining ground on my physical health with PT and better eating, I was able to get a grip on my pain and fatigue.<\/p>\n How amazing it was to walk at a nearby park. God being my steady cane, was holding my hand as well as my heart.<\/p>\n The genuine, real healing came in following God and although I was attending church and in a small group Bible study, as I studied more of the Bible, I came to understand I was not surrendering fully to God.<\/p>\n Isaiah 58:11 promises us: \u201cThe Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.\u201d (NIV)<\/p>\n And that\u2019s when I knew: true healing wasn\u2019t complete just yet.<\/p>\n Surrendering as a daily decision. Each day I needed to say yes again, know I am loved and can come just as I am, receive what I need.<\/p>\n By recognizing that I needed to trust God, I could let go of the hold Satan had on me that kept me from God\u2019s presence.<\/p>\n The safety net I clung to, the false sense of control I bound myself to wasn\u2019t catching me anymore. God was willing to catch me by holding out His unconditional love as He always has, waiting patiently. And knowing I belonged to Him, I could approach Him with childlike confidence.<\/p>\n Then my heart opened.<\/p>\n I knew I needed to move past the scars of losses and back to Him. \u201cI\u2019m ready now God!\u201d And that\u2019s when I knew, in an ultimate act of letting go of fear I surrender to God, I decided to get baptized.<\/p>\n I can vividly see and feel the emotions I went through. Stepping into the baptismal tank something broke loose in me, something I didn\u2019t know I was still carrying.<\/p>\n The grief.<\/p>\n The guilt of wasted time.<\/p>\n The clinging to what had been.<\/p>\n It all rose up like a wave I couldn\u2019t stop.<\/p>\n My spiritual mentor and the Women\u2019s Ministry Leader Yvonne smiled and then she immersed me. When I came up out of the water, I felt quenched.<\/p>\n Related Post<\/strong>: Fighting Satan\u2019s Schemes with the Gospel of Jesus<\/a><\/p>\n After much searching and holding God\u2019s hand, I am in the present and trusting in the future. Welcomed into a church that is life for me.<\/p>\n God has been good to me by providing a family of believers who have held me up over the years, and with His help, brought me to a good place right beside Him.<\/p>\n As I hold my arms up in praise during our worship singing, I give glory to God and pray I can witness to others of hope to come.<\/p>\n There is life after loss, heartache, diagnosis.<\/p>\n There is life after loss, heartache, and even diagnosis. <\/a><\/span>Share on X<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n My open heart can trust again with the strength of my God; He is my firm safety net until my resting place beside Him in eternity.<\/p>\n If fear and anxiety are things you struggle with, let\u2019s walk this path together and find help.<\/em><\/p>\n What you\u2019ll find in these pages isn\u2019t a quick fix or a one size fits all solution. No. You might not find anything, in fact. Or you may just find your whole being re-oriented at your deepest level. You may find that peace you\u2019ve always been looking for.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The doctor didn\u2019t need to say the words. I remember her eyes more than her voice when we got the diagnosis: Stage Four. Not long. From diagnosis to death, he had six weeks. Fifteen years of love. And then suddenly\u2026 an ending. The beginning of fear set in, a lie straight from Satan. Life Changes […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7062459,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[100620,224381,107173,100090,107174,107175,99164,107176],"tags":[224382,107177,107178,107179,107180,5340,3191,13392],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-7062458","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anxiety","category-candid-conversations","category-christian-life","category-christian-living","category-christian-women","category-encouragement-for-christian-women","category-faith","category-faith-talk","tag-candid-conversations","tag-christian-life","tag-christian-women","tag-encouragement-for-christian-women","tag-faith-talk","tag-falls","tag-fear","tag-letting"],"yoast_head":"\nMoving Forward<\/h2>\n
Learning to Trust God<\/h2>\n
Committing Myself to Jesus<\/h2>\n
Letting Go of Fear and Learning to Trust God<\/h2>\n
\n![](\"https:\/\/www.candidlychristian.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/mock-00055.png\")
<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nRelated Reading<\/h3>\n
Extinguishing the Spirit of Fear<\/h2>\n