Why is forgiving yourself so difficult, even when you know God has forgiven you<\/strong>? Forgiving yourself can feel difficult when guilt, regret, and shame keep you focused on what you have done instead of what God has already done for you. Freedom begins with receiving God\u2019s forgiveness, accepting His grace, and refusing to let past mistakes define your identity. When you trust what God says about you more than the shame you carry, you can begin letting go of self-condemnation and moving forward in the freedom Christ offers.<\/a><\/p>\n From the outside, it all looked quite picture-perfect. Handsome husband. Two beautiful toddlers. Financial stability. Active in church ministry. Always quick with a smile and an encouraging word.<\/p>\n And it wasn\u2019t as if my smile was disingenuous. I treasured my husband and children. Gratitude for all of God\u2019s blessings filled my heart. The world needs happiness, and smiling is one easy way to cheer up another, so to me, wearing a smile came easily.\u00a0<\/p>\n But what most people didn\u2019t know was that on the other side of my picture-perfect world lay a curtain of shame.<\/p>\n That shame brought tears behind closed doors and a battle with the enemy of my soul. It perpetuated the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual comparison of myself to everyone and everything around me.<\/p>\n \u201cComparison is the thief of joy.\u201d \u2014 Theodore Roosevelt<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/figure>\n When you live under the heavy weight of shame, the days feel long and the tears many<\/a>. Depression can seep into every crevice of our soul. It hides from the world but eats away at who God intends for us to be and at the freedom with which He desires us to live.<\/p>\n My heart grieved over so much of my past. Confusion, mistakes, and missteps filled my life before Jesus. Painful rejections at the hands of those I thought I could love and trust<\/a> the most only compounded the grief.\u00a0<\/p>\n Somewhere and at some point, I locked eyes with rejection and held onto its gaze.<\/p>\n I received it as the truth and as my identity<\/a>. I stayed there \u2014 stuck \u2014 for far too long.<\/p>\n Watching.\u00a0<\/p>\n Asking.<\/p>\n What am I missing?<\/p>\n Why am I always not enough or too much?<\/p>\n What will make me worthy of approval?<\/p>\n I saw the best of everyone else and the worst of myself.<\/p>\n When I look back, I\u2019m amazed at God\u2019s hand in my life even when I didn\u2019t understand the power of His love. He gave me wisdom, strength, courage, tenacity, and discernment.<\/p>\n I was a survivor\u2014surviving abortion, an abusive marriage, and a disease that nearly took my kidneys. Struggling through the financial impact of divorce and medical bills, I still flourished in a teaching career.<\/p>\n I was tough.<\/p>\n I knew it wasn\u2019t healthy to remain stuck in rejection and shame. So, I did the work by going to counseling, talking with my pastor, and reading the right books.<\/p>\n It helped a little. But not enough to tear away the shame wrapped tightly around me.<\/p>\n I had failed to use one of our most powerful weapons in the fight against shame\u2014the weapon of forgiveness.<\/p>\n For me, it wasn\u2019t the forgiveness of those who had sinned against m<\/a>e. I had crossed that bridge and felt that layer of pain and bitterness lifted.<\/p>\n Instead, it was the forgiveness of myself.<\/p>\n I entertained the idea of Jesus forgiving me, but somehow, I couldn\u2019t forgive myself.<\/p>\n I was in a self-made prison of defeat with the key to unlock the door in my hand. God\u2019s love and grace were freely offered to me; only I wouldn\u2019t embrace them.<\/p>\n Instead of accepting His grace\u2014His key to freedom and victory\u2014I pushed Him aside and punished myself.<\/p>\n But this is where we need to understand something important about forgiving ourselves. Scripture continually points us toward receiving and trusting<\/a> the forgiveness God has already given us.<\/p>\n \u201cIf we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.\u201d \u2014 1 John 1:9<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/figure>\n We can know that truth in our heads and still struggle to live as though it is true. We replay the mistake, rehearse the regret, and remind ourselves of who we used to be.<\/p>\n And sometimes, without realizing it, we act as though continuing to punish ourselves will somehow make the past right. But our self-condemnation cannot add anything to the grace Jesus has already given us.<\/p>\n When we have confessed our sin and received God\u2019s forgiveness, we don\u2019t have to keep serving a sentence He has already released us from.<\/p>\n Forgiveness doesn\u2019t mean pretending our choices never mattered.<\/p>\n Sometimes there are consequences to face, relationships to repair, apologies to make, or lessons God still wants to teach us. But guilt and shame are not the same thing.<\/p>\n Guilt can point us toward something that needs to be confessed and made right. Shame goes further and tells us that what we\u2019ve done is who we are.<\/p>\n That\u2019s where I was stuck for far too long. My mistakes, rejection, and painful experiences slowly became labels I carried. But God never intended those labels to become my identity.<\/p>\n He gave me one moment where it all became too much. Every failure and rejection flooded my spirit.<\/p>\n He gave me one friend<\/a> who spoke truth in love and followed it with a plan of action.<\/p>\n He gave me the space of a trusted environment<\/a>. All the shame and pain that ravished my soul poured out in that space where two or more were present. With His light now illuminating the darkness, the enemy\u2019s hiding places were revealed. Prayer moved mountains<\/a>, and victory was claimed.<\/p>\n That evening, the enemy\u2019s perpetuated cycle stopped. I began by forgiving myself, and His grace<\/a> and Truth replaced shame. Rejection was given back<\/a> to its rightful owners. Now, the process of denying its power over my life had begun.<\/p>\n Forgiving myself wasn\u2019t one magical moment that erased my past. Today, I choose to live out my something better in the arms of God\u2019s love and grace. I still have that handsome husband. Those toddlers are adults and our third treasure is not far behind them. And I still have my smile \u2014 even on the hard days.<\/p>\n The difference is that now the curtain of shame is torn away. Life still gets hard. Hearts break and relationships disappoint. But with the shame erased, comparison doesn\u2019t control me.<\/p>\n Satan still attempts to lure me with the familiar habits of my past. He hits where he knows the weakness lies. So, when I step out into the brave, I hear the whispers of comparison in my mind. Sometimes I even entertain them a moment longer than I should.<\/p>\n He taught me to accept His grace and forgive myself. He taught me to speak His truth because it reigns over all other words ever spoken.<\/p>\n When the old accusations return, I have a choice about which voice I will believe.<\/p>\n I can return to the prison of shame. Or I can return to the Truth of God.<\/p>\n If you are struggling with forgiving yourself and embracing the love and grace of Christ in your life, speak these declarations of Truth over yourself.<\/p>\n Speak them when shame resurfaces, when comparison whispers that everyone else is better, and when your past tries to convince you that you cannot move forward.<\/p>\n Maybe you know God has forgiven you, but there\u2019s still something from your past you keep picking back up.<\/p>\n A mistake.<\/p>\n A decision.<\/p>\n Something you wish you could undo.<\/p>\n A version of yourself you wish had never existed.<\/p>\n Bring it back to God. Confess what needs to be confessed. Make right what you can make right. Learn what God is teaching you. Then receive His grace.<\/p>\n You don\u2019t have to allow yesterday\u2019s shame to determine today\u2019s identity. When the enemy whispers lies that tell you your worth is not enough, return to what God says about you. His Truth gets the final word.<\/p>\n The Something Better Series brings the stories of strong, courageous women who have stepped out of pain and into their something better. They are everyday women just like you and me. Somewhere inside, they knew there was more to them than the enemy wanted them to believe. So they put one foot in front of the other, grabbed onto the hand of Jesus, and with Him began walking toward their something better.<\/p>\n Use the links below to read their stories. I pray their stories encourage and inspire you to believe that you, too, have a something better and it is within your reach. Something better is possible for every single one of us.<\/p>\n For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength. <\/span>-Philippians 4:13 NLT<\/span><\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/figure>\n 1 \u2013 \u00a0What Does Your Something Better Look Like?<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n 2 \u2013 \u00a0How to Get Unstuck with Grace and Patience\u00a0<\/a><\/strong><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n 3 \u2013 \u00a0Leaving the Lies of Shame Behind<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n 4 \u2013 \u00a0When Your Something \u00a0Better Is the Thing You Fear the Most<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n 5 \u2013\u00a0 Choosing Joy When Everything Falls Apart<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n To make changes in our lives, we have to make intentional choices to move from where we are to where we want to be. Consistently filling our lives with positive, life-giving content is one such step in the right direction. I\u2019d like to help you with those steps and lead you toward the life you were designed to live! After subscribing, you\u2019ll receive an email giving you the password to the resource-filled Library of Hope!<\/em><\/p>\n Through our adoption journey, God brilliantly showed us the power of living surrendered. We discovered the peace that comes when we walk in God\u2019s will and trust wherever He takes us. Finding that doesn\u2019t usually come along golden paved roads, though. It comes along the broken ones.<\/p>\n Purchase the Surrendered Hearts<\/em><\/a> book on Amazon<\/a>, Barnes and Noble<\/a>, ChristianBook.com<\/a>, and Redemption Press<\/a>.<\/p>\n Why is forgiving yourself so difficult, even when you know God has forgiven you? Forgiving yourself can feel difficult when guilt, regret, and shame keep you focused on what you have done instead of what God has already done for you. Freedom begins with receiving God\u2019s forgiveness, accepting His grace, and refusing to let past […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7060302,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[101267,100620,99694,101266,110878,222450,101268,100504,101269,192529,101276,222447,111888,222448,101271,126436,206672,151195,130494,222451,222452,222453,222449,106402,101273,128321,209620,222454],"tags":[4438,132537,6465,18907],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-7060301","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-and-helplessness","category-anxiety","category-comparison","category-conquering-fear","category-forgiveness","category-forgiving-yourself","category-gods-love-and-your-identity","category-grace","category-hope","category-hurt","category-identity","category-knowing-gods-unconditional-love-series","category-lies","category-living-confidently-and-moving-forward-in-life","category-living-surrendered","category-mistakes","category-rejection","category-self-worth-2","category-shame","category-something-better","category-something-better-series","category-stuck","category-the-something-better-series","category-trust","category-trusting-god-and-living-surrendered","category-truth","category-unstuck","category-worth","tag-finding","tag-forgiving","tag-freedom","tag-shame"],"yoast_head":"\n![\"You](\"https:\/\/lorischumaker.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Forgiving-Yourself-How-to-Find-Freedom-From-Shame-Through-Gods-Grace-2.jpg\")
<\/figure>\nWhy Is Forgiving Yourself So Difficult?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
\n
Shame Exhausts Us Spiritually, Emotionally, and Physically<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Forgiving Yourself Begins With Receiving God\u2019s Grace<\/strong><\/h2>\n
\n
![\"You](\"https:\/\/lorischumaker.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Forgiving-Yourself-How-to-Find-Freedom-From-Shame-Through-Gods-Grace-1.jpg\")
<\/figure>\nWhy Do I Still Feel Guilty After God Has Forgiven Me?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
But God.<\/strong><\/h2>\n
But God<\/span><\/h3>\n
But God<\/span><\/h3>\n
What Does Forgiving Yourself Look Like as a Christian?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
But God. <\/span><\/h3>\n
5 Declarations of God\u2019s Truth to Help With Forgiving Yourself<\/strong><\/h2>\n
5 Declarations of God\u2019s Truth to Help You Forgive Yourself<\/h2>\n
1. I am thankful to be a cracked and broken vessel giving a pathway through which Your power and beauty can shine. (2 Cor 4:7)<\/a><\/em><\/span><\/h3>\n
2. My weaknesses are proof of your strength. (2 Cor 12:9)<\/a><\/em><\/span><\/h3>\n
3. I do not live to compare myself to another because then I will only be tossed into confusion (2 Cor 10:12)<\/a> But instead, I strive to be an imitator of You, Lord (1 Cor 11:1,<\/a> seeking only Your approval (Galatians 1:10)<\/a><\/em><\/span><\/h3>\n
4. You call me wonderful and marvelous. (Psalm 139:13-14)<\/a><\/em><\/span><\/h3>\n
5. I have no need for fear. (2 Timothy 1:7)<\/a><\/em><\/span><\/h3>\n
![\"5](\"https:\/\/lorischumaker.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Declarations-of-Gods-Truth-to-Help-With-Forgiving-Yourself-600x750.png\")
<\/figure>\n
\nLet God\u2019s Truth Have the Final Word<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Courageous Women<\/h3>\n
\n
\nThe Something Better<\/em> Series<\/h3>\n
If you are new here or just haven\u2019t gotten around to subscribing to LoriSchumaker.com<\/em>, now may just be the best time!<\/strong><\/h3>\n
\nHave You Read Our Story of Surrender?<\/h3>\n
![\"Illumination](\"https:\/\/lorischumaker.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Bronze-Award-Winner-in-the-Family_Parenting-Category-Surrendered-Hearts-social-600x600.png\")
<\/figure>\nMore Hope to Encourage Your Heart<\/h3>\n<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"