{"id":7058039,"date":"2026-09-06T01:37:00","date_gmt":"2026-09-06T01:37:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/uncategorized\/smcs-with-twins-single-mothers-by-choice\/"},"modified":"2026-09-06T01:37:00","modified_gmt":"2026-09-06T01:37:00","slug":"smcs-with-twins-single-mothers-by-choice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7058039","title":{"rendered":"SMCs With Twins – Single Mothers by Choice"},"content":{"rendered":"


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When I first began my journey towards becoming a mother, a visit with an infertility counselor was mandatory.\u00a0 It was a mostly predictable conversation for me where I was asked what I would do to cope with parenthood, the stress of treatments, and the potential that the treatments might not work, but then the counselor asked me a question I was not expecting, \u201cWhat do you think you will do if you succeed\u2026A LOT\u2026as in you become pregnant with twins (or more)\u201d.\u00a0 My response was, \u201cAaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!\u201d.<\/p>\n

Truthfully, before cancer, chemo, surgeries and the impending 4th decade laid waste to my ovaries, I actually had a genetic predisposition towards twins.\u00a0 Growing up, my family would always say \u201cYou know, every third generation is twins and guess where you fall?\u201d.\u00a0 I have two sets of second cousin twins and my grandfather was a twin.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if it is true or not, but I was lead to believe, growing up, that I had a 90% chance of having twins.\u00a0 So, while the question the counselor posed was totally unexpected and I did go \u201cAaaaahhh\u201d quite loudly, in reality, I did it mostly for comedic affect.\u00a0 But afterwards I thought to myself \u201cHa!\u00a0 Twins!\u00a0 I\u2019ll be lucky if I can even fall pregnant.\u201d<\/p>\n

Guess who is laughing now?<\/p>\n

I am a single mother by choice to almost 2 year old wonder twins!\u00a0 Over three years after that visit to the counselor, all my attempts with IUI and IVF had failed and I was given \u201cthe talk\u201d, but in the end, I was blessed with a boy and a girl through IVF and embryo donation.<\/p>\n

Since before I began trying to conceive, I had been involved with the Single Mother by Choice<\/em> (SMC) community and in all that time I had only met one other single mother of twins.\u00a0 When I learned I was going to have two, I felt like a bit of an outsider in the SMC community.\u00a0 So, it was quite a surprise when the two women I had met at a recent conference when I was 11 weeks pregnant, both became pregnant with twins within 6 months of my pregnancy!\u00a0 Once their twins were born, it seemed all the twin SMCs started to come out of the woodwork.\u00a0 Our little offshoot of the SMC community has grown in the last year and it is an amazing resource for moral support and advice.\u00a0 As SMCs we all have an unique lifestyle and perspective that many of our non-SMC friends and family just don\u2019t get, but mothers of multiples face even more unique challenges.\u00a0 It is something that cannot be put into words and can only truly be understood by someone who has walked in these footsteps.<\/p>\n

Some of us were excited in the face of the initial news of multiples, but some of us were downright terrified.\u00a0 We all face unique challenges and our own moments of terror as our little ones grow, and sometimes it can feel overwhelming.\u00a0 The most amazing part of this kinship for me, is the moral support.\u00a0 Whenever things get rough we can look to each other and say \u201cHey, she survived this.\u00a0 So can I!\u201d.\u00a0 It\u2019s such a gift to have examples to follow and sources for advice for our unique challenges.<\/p>\n

Our little group includes everything from school teachers to surgeons.\u00a0 We all juggle our careers and our family in unique ways.\u00a0 Our children\u2019s temperaments range from high needs to so laid back they are in danger of falling over.\u00a0 Many of us faced unique medical challenges associated with twin pregnancy, preterm birth (the average twin delivery is at 37 weeks), many of us had to endure NICU stays for our babies, and some of our babies were born with conditions more common with twins such as Torticollis and flat head syndrome. We are more likely to have to handle speech delays (and twin secret language development), nursing challenges, and so on.\u00a0 We also have to juggle our finances and deal with the frequent money hemorrhages and childcare costs that come with having a twofer.\u00a0 It\u2019s funny and a bit silly to me now, but I hadn\u2019t even thought about the fact that each checkup meant double the copays until we were at their first pediatric visit.<\/p>\n

Ours is a story of hope and perseverance but most of all it is a story of immense blessing.\u00a0 Recently, some of the ladies got together for a playdate\/photoshoot and seeing each of us caring for our two little monkeys and watching the children interact with each other was such a joy.\u00a0 The photographer, a married mother with TWO sets of twins herself, said she was amazed at how non-chaotic the event actually was and was truly impressed that we all had chosen to be single mothers and were all raising such amazing, healthy and happy little people.\u00a0 We even managed to get one photo where everyone was looking at the camera!<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sure there are some women out there reading this now who are considering medicated IUIs or IVF and are concerned about the chances of multiples.\u00a0 Or there may be other mothers of multiples or expecting mothers of twins or more out there who are struggling to relate to other SMCs who have just one child to focus on.\u00a0 To all of you, our little group is here to say, \u201cYou can survive this!\u201d\u00a0 In fact, you may find that it is the most amazing and wonderful experience you have ever had.\u00a0 I only hope that all the other twin mommas out there are able to find a group as terrific as our little band of sisters.<\/p>\n

Ona<\/p>\n

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