{"id":70555,"date":"2025-02-06T01:20:11","date_gmt":"2025-02-06T01:20:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/adventure\/the-relentless-pursuit-of-happiness-confessions-of-a-happiness-chaser\/"},"modified":"2025-02-06T01:20:11","modified_gmt":"2025-02-06T01:20:11","slug":"the-relentless-pursuit-of-happiness-confessions-of-a-happiness-chaser","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=70555","title":{"rendered":"The Relentless Pursuit of Happiness: Confessions of a Happiness Chaser"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n<\/p>\n

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\"Does<\/p>\n

Pin Me!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Over the last few years, I\u2019ve learned something big about myself: I\u2019m a Happiness Chaser.<\/p>\n

I want what I want, and I want it right now, almost to the point that I pine for the future because the future is a mystical and magical place where I\u2019ll finally have everything I want so I can be happy. It\u2019s almost like I live 10 steps ahead in my own mind. Rather than being present, I\u2019m so focused on the goal I forget to appreciate the things I actually do have.<\/p>\n

Today, I\u2019m going to fill you in on a personal problem I\u2019ve been working on: How my obsession with happiness, joy, and satisfaction leaves me restless and unfulfilled.<\/p>\n

\"Hoi<\/p>\n

How I Discovered I Have This Problem<\/h2>\n

This post is the first in a series I\u2019m going to call \u201cLet\u2019s Talk About the Enneagram<\/a> Without Actually Talking About the Enneagram\u201d.<\/p>\n

That said, I know most of you probably aren\u2019t Enneagram nerds<\/a> like me, and using the language of the Enneagram will probably be confusing and throw some of you off. So in these \u201cLet\u2019s Talk About the Enneagram Without Actually Talking About the Enneagram\u201d posts, I\u2019m going to fill you in on the things I\u2019ve learned about myself and others, using normal everyday vocab anyone can understand.<\/p>\n

Now, I discovered I have this Happiness Chasing problem when I started learning about my Enneagram Number: Type Seven<\/a>. Deep down, all Sevens really want is happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment, and their fear is of being trapped in emotional pain and deprivation from options. But\u2026 what does this really mean?<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t until I started looking at how I chase happiness in my life that I realized\u2026 My obsession with joy is really causing me a lot of pain.<\/p>\n

\"Great<\/p>\n

If I Could Wish For One Thing, I Would Want to Be \u201cHappy\u201d<\/h2>\n

If I were to ask you to wish for one thing in life, what would you wish for?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a pretty common question, and I\u2019m assuming you\u2019ve been asked plenty of times in your life. But to be honest, I have a really hard time answering it, because I want SO MANY THINGS and these things are always changing.<\/p>\n

But when I really think about it, all I want is to be happy. But of course, this is a boring answer, so I usually come up with something more creative so I don\u2019t disappoint or confuse anyone who asks me.<\/p>\n

So, what do I mean when I say I want to be happy? I\u2019ve realized that all I want is to feel content, satisfied, fulfilled, and full of joy.<\/p>\n

I want to have a loving family and a good relationship with my husband, a career I enjoy that feels fulfilling and meaningful, a nice home, a healthy body and mind, and the freedom to travel, explore, and try new things, plus some incredbile adventures. Is that too much to ask for?? Isn\u2019t this what everyone wants??<\/p>\n

But I can\u2019t answer the question this way, otherwise, I get people asking me, \u201cAre you not happy now? What do you mean you just want to be happy??<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

To be honest, the truth is that yes, I\u2019m positive, optimistic, and enthusiastic, but how can I truly be \u201chappy\u201d when I\u2019m chasing happiness all the time?<\/p>\n

\"Save<\/p>\n

This makes me happy<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

All I Need is _______, And Then I\u2019ll Be Happy<\/h2>\n

Here\u2019s another thing I\u2019ve learned about myself: I think of happiness as something outside of myself that I have to go and get. It\u2019s like there\u2019s a piece of me that\u2019s missing, and I think that if I just get this THING all the pieces will fall into place and I\u2019ll finally be satisfied.<\/p>\n

But then when I actually get the object of my desire, I don\u2019t feel 100% satisfied and fulfilled, so I choose a new thing to chase. It goes something like this:<\/p>\n

Once I move abroad I\u2019ll finally be happy!\u00a0<\/em>Oh\u2026 well the reason I\u2019m not happy is that I\u2019m in the middle of nowhere and underpaid<\/a>, if I get a better job in a bigger city, then I\u2019ll be happy. Well, I\u2019m still not happy because I feel trapped in my job<\/a>, I just really want to work for myself<\/a>.\u00a0<\/em>Now that I\u2019m working for myself and traveling, the reason I\u2019m not happy is because I\u2019m traveling too much and I\u2019m exhausted, I should slow down and focus on making more money, then I\u2019ll be less stressed and happier. Oh, well I\u2019m still not happy because I haven\u2019t designed my career in a way that suits me. If I just\u2026\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

This constant loop of chasing the next thing goes on, and on, and on, and on FOREVER. This has literally been me my ENTIRE LIFE. Worse yet is that I\u2019m often chasing more than one thing at a time, and when I do get that thing I want and I\u2019m not IMMEDIATELY satisfied, I don\u2019t even take the time to enjoy it. Talk about exhausting\u2026<\/p>\n

\"House<\/p>\n

Random Experience: I Chased Filming House Hunters International<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

I\u2019ve Always Chased After The Things I Want<\/h2>\n

Here\u2019s the thing, I\u2019ve always had a pretty type-A, ambitious, go-getter personality. I chase after the things I want, whether that\u2019s straight A\u2019s or career success, traveling the world, starting my own business, or even relationships<\/a> (awkward).<\/p>\n

My parents learned pretty early on that I didn\u2019t like hearing \u201cno\u201d for an answer, so basically I was an awful two-year-old. Sorry about that\u2026<\/p>\n

I often joke that I\u2019m like Locke from Lost: DON\u2019T TELL ME WHAT I CAN\u2019T DO!!!<\/p>\n

But the problem when you\u2019re a Happiness Chaser and you want EVERYTHING is that you chase after things indiscriminately. When you just want to be happy but don\u2019t know exactly what will get you there, this creates trial-and-error anxiety of just doing and experiencing everything in the hopes that you\u2019ll find what you\u2019re looking for.<\/p>\n

The more options and opportunities, the more anxiety I feel because I need to try all of them to know what I really want.<\/p>\n

\"Signagi<\/p>\n

Exploring Georgia at the start of 2020!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

For Example: Finding the \u201cPerfect\u201d Country to Live in<\/h3>\n

I feel this intense desire to find the \u201cperfect\u201d country to settle down in. With the world as my oyster, how can I possibly choose when none of them are 100% right?<\/p>\n

Can\u2019t I have the food<\/a>, language<\/a>, and transportation<\/a> of Mainland China, with the beaches and rice fields of Hoi An, with the wine<\/a>, cheese, long-term expats, and ability to get things from home you\u2019d have in Georgia, with one of those villas you find in Bali, but then throw in US shopping and Trader Joes and bring in all my friends and family from the US and Australia\u2026 and then add Australian healthcare while you\u2019re at it with some New Zealand politics?<\/p>\n

Wow, that was definitely in the top 10 most obnoxiously privileged<\/a> things I\u2019ve ever said in my life.<\/p>\n

That said, I really do feel like if I keep moving around and trying new places I\u2019m going to eventually stumble into a country that is 100% perfect for me and my life. But the problem with this is that it\u2019s impossible and EXHAUSTING.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll be honest, yes I LOVE having options and freedom. I crave it. But the more options you have, the more pressure there is to find the PERFECT thing.<\/p>\n

The more opportunities and experiences you can chase, the more you spend your whole life chasing. This is part of the reason being forced to stay in Georgia due to COVID<\/a> has actually been incredible for my mental health and sanity.<\/p>\n

\"Park<\/p>\n

When Joy Exists Outside of Yourself, You\u2019ll Never Be Happy<\/h2>\n

Here\u2019s something I\u2019ve been attempting to learn the hard way: When happiness exists as something outside of yourself that you need to go and GET, you\u2019ll never truly be happy.<\/p>\n

Because guess what? Happiness is an emotion, not an item, country, experience, or person. Happiness comes from appreciating the good things in your life, not indiscriminately chasing after stuff.<\/p>\n

The more you chase after the things you think will make you happy, the less satisfied you are with what you actually have. The more things or experiences you think you need in order to be fulfilled, the less fulfilled you\u2019ll truly be.<\/p>\n

\"Richelle<\/p>\n

More pandas = more happiness?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

It\u2019s Impossible to Be Happy All the Time<\/h2>\n

The thing with us Happiness Chasers, is that we see any negative emotion or dissatisfaction as a problem that needs to be fixed\u2026 immediately. Then we start coming up with all the things we need to do to \u201cfix it\u201d.<\/p>\n

This manifests itself as frustration. My wants and desires are NEEDS and I NEED to fix this problem RIGHT NOW.<\/p>\n

But here\u2019s the thing\u2026 let\u2019s say my wish came true, and I was 100% happy, satisfied, and fulfilled all the time. Magically, I woke up tomorrow and had everything I ever wanted with no problems in my life.<\/p>\n

Wow\u2026 how boring does that sound? There would be nothing left for me to DO or chase, and if I\u2019m not chasing something then\u2026 who am I?<\/p>\n

I bet you that within a few days I\u2019d find something else I thought I NEEDED in order to be happy. The bar would shift, the goals would change, and I would be chasing something else.<\/p>\n

Because when you chase happiness, it means deep down you\u2019re always dissatisfied.<\/p>\n

\"Bellingen<\/p>\n

Enjoying the moment on my wedding day<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Learning to Enjoy the Moment<\/h2>\n

Us Happiness Chasers have a hole inside ourselves that needs filling. We have an insatiable desire to run, chase, obtain and experience everything in this world in hopes that we will finally feel full. That we\u2019ll be done, we\u2019ll be content, and finally satisfied.<\/p>\n

But what if I told you that no object, person, or experience is going to fill that hole and make you feel happy?<\/p>\n

So\u2026 how do you do you find happiness without searching outside of yourself? Well, this is the part I\u2019m still working on.<\/p>\n

But I think the easiest way to find happiness within yourself is to actually appreciate the good things you already have in your life and to take some time to be grateful for the amazing things you do achieve and experience.<\/p>\n

No, I don\u2019t mean you need to become a monk and forsake all worldly pleasures! But how about taking the time to celebrate when you do get that raise, instead of wondering why your life isn\u2019t 100% perfect even though you got that career success? Or instead of being focused on how your trip was canceled due to COVID, why not try to take some time to appreciate your wonderful kitchen, big comfy couch, or that awesome book you\u2019re reading?<\/p>\n

\"kayaking<\/p>\n

Why enjoy my kayaking safari when I could be living in my head?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Being in the Moment While We Travel<\/h2>\n

Tell me if this sounds like you:<\/p>\n

I was listening to the Enneagram and Coffee Podcast<\/a>, while host Sarah Jane Case (and fellow Happiness Chaser), was talking about her first time visiting Europe. She and a friend were standing at the base of the Eiffel Tower, and while her friend stared up in awe, Sarah said, \u201cWow, I can\u2019t wait for Berlin. It\u2019s going to be so amazing!\u201d.<\/p>\n

At this point, her friend turned to her and said, \u201cWe\u2019re at the EIFFEL TOWER, what the heck is wrong with you?\u201d<\/p>\n

We Happiness Chasers tend to have a \u201cbeen there done that\u201d mentality when it comes to happiness, and I myself am super guilty of this!<\/p>\n

I live my life half in the present and half in the future, so while I\u2019m having fun and enjoying my travels in the moment, sometimes I find myself daydreaming about the next destination while I\u2019m already somewhere incredible and exciting. What?? Why???<\/em><\/p>\n

What\u2019s the point of experiencing something if you\u2019re not going to truly experience it?<\/p>\n

\"Golden<\/p>\n

My Tips For Finding True Happiness, and Not Chasing It<\/h2>\n

This Happiness Chasing habit is going to be a big self-improvement project that I may never quite master, but I have learned a few lessons these past few years that some of you fellow Happiness Chasers may find helpful.<\/p>\n

1. Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body<\/h3>\n

I tend to live in my mind, constantly thinking about new experiences, opportunities, adventures, and ideas I need to explore. But this constant buzzing in your head and living in the future honestly isn\u2019t healthy, so I\u2019ve been working on pulling myself out of my head and back into my body.<\/p>\n

The best thing I\u2019ve found for this is yoga. I do a Yoga With Adriene<\/a> video every single morning (I\u2019ve been cycling through all her 30 days of yoga series). This really helps me start the day off right, and I can definitely tell that on the days I don\u2019t do it, I feel more scattered.<\/p>\n

During the day if I start to find myself getting stuck in my head, I close my eyes, put my feet on the ground and take a few deep breaths. It really helps calm me down!<\/p>\n

\"Kumano<\/p>\n

You could celebrate by making yourself a banner?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

2. Rather than Ask \u201cWhat\u2019s Missing\u201d I Appreciate What I Have and Achieve<\/h3>\n

It\u2019s funny that most people think we\u2019re joyful optimists because we really focus a lot on what we don\u2019t<\/em> have for someone who is supposed to be a \u201cglass-half-full\u201d type of person. Yes, I see the world as a series of boundless opportunities, but I also tend to pinpoint the things I think are missing in my own life. When my achievements don\u2019t leave me completely satisfied and fulfilled, I\u2019m already onto the next thing.<\/p>\n

But I\u2019ve been trying to spend time every day to feel grateful and happy about the things I do have. When I do get something I want, I make some time to celebrate that achievement, and really enjoy the moment.<\/p>\n

Of course, I still struggle with this (a lot), and I almost don\u2019t believe it when people tell me that I\u2019m \u201cliving the dream\u201d or I\u2019m already \u201csuper successful\u201d because I\u2019m focused on the potential and the future. But taking a little time to appreciate what I already have or the achievements I\u2019ve made has been extremely helpful.<\/p>\n

\"Uo-machi\"<\/p>\n

3. Be Choosy With What You Chase<\/h3>\n

We assertive people will always be chasing something, whether it\u2019s career success, good grades, joy, or adventure. But we need to be choosy with what we chase.<\/p>\n

Rather than chasing EVERYTHING that sounds interesting, I\u2019ve been trying to really sit with myself and make deliberate, achievable goals. Because guess what? Happiness isn\u2019t concrete. Neither is \u201cI want to be successful\u201d or \u201cI want to travel\u201d.<\/p>\n

You know how you get those things? You say, \u201cI want to save up XYZ dollars by [insert specific date here<\/em>] so that I can travel to India for one month\u201d. Or, how about \u201cI want to have a new online course created by the end of December\u201d. Then you can actually take concrete steps towards those goals and make them achievable.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t forget to take some time to appreciate that goal when you eventually DO achieve it!<\/p>\n

\"Lakeside<\/p>\n

Are You a Happiness Chaser?<\/h2>\n

I\u2019m curious: are any of you like me? Did this ring true for anyone else here? Please let me know in a comment!<\/p>\n

I\u2019m actually very curious to know who else here struggles with these things, and what you\u2019re doing to overcome it, especially during COVID when we CAN\u2019T travel or do many of the things we think will make us happy.<\/p>\n

Are you interested in learning more about this \u201cEnneagram without the Enneagram\u201d stuff? I definitely plan on writing more about this and my relationship to FOMO, the grass is always greener mindset, wanting to be \u201csuccessful\u201d and more!<\/p>\n

As always, if there\u2019s something you want to learn more about or know more about, let me know in a comment so I can write about it in a future post!<\/p>\n

\"Does<\/p>\n

Pin Me!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\"The<\/p>\n

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