If you\u2019re raising a teenager, you\u2019re probably being reminded over and over again that you\u2019re uncool, out of touch, and seriously uninformed. I mean, how could you not know about _____________? [Insert Eye Roll].<\/p>\n
![\"College](\"https:\/\/grownandflown.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/1280px-North_facade_of_College_Hall_Penn_Campus-678x450.jpg\")
I\u2019m sorry to tell you that they might be right. At least, they\u2019re right when it comes to most
things related to college admissions. <\/p>\n
Parents\u2019 advice is out of sync with their teens\u2019 current experience<\/h2>\n
If you went to college, especially the kind of school (or the specific school) to which your kid wants to apply, there is probably little left from your experience that will hold up as real in the current college application and admissions process.<\/p>\n
How do I know? I am an admissions dean (and parent),<\/a> and I am familiar with the pressures that can wear down, or wind up, hopeful applicants. Parents\u2019 advice that is out of sync with their actual experience is on the list of pressures.<\/p>\n When you applied, you might have learned about a college because you knew someone who attended, lived nearby, received a brochure in the mail, or built a list from a web search. You might have applied to a few colleges.<\/p>\n You might have gotten a postcard back from an admissions office, confirming that your application had been received. Then, you probably went about your business for a couple of weeks or months, waiting for a decision letter to arrive in the mailbox, generally within a week or two of the school\u2019s posted \u2018mailing date\u2019 for decisions.<\/p>\n I have news. The college admissions process you remember isn\u2019t the one your child is The advice coming at them might feel directive, urgent, and contradictory. To exist among this competing information, a young person has to engage self-awareness and discernment at levels that challenge most grown adults. Then, when actually applying to college, it feels like the whole world is watching because, on most days, the whole world is in their DMs and at their fingertips on their phones.<\/p>\n In a process that requires many decisions, some of them big, it\u2019s easy to forget where teenagers are, developmentally. They are not typically functioning with fully secure self-awareness, confidence, and purposeful direction. Rather, they are just beginning to find their feet as individuals, learning to separate from their parents, siblings, friends.<\/p>\n All of that would be plenty hard enough, but that\u2019s not all. There\u2019s also the evolution of how college admissions has changed in the last 20 years. As our applicant pools have expanded in multiple dimensions, we have a responsibility to enroll classes that represent extraordinary geographic, socioeconomic, experiential, and intellectual diversity. And, often, the class sizes have remained the same. This all means that evaluative processes are more complex than ever before. Students know this.<\/p>\n As I said, it\u2019s rough out there. Also, I have more news.<\/p>\n As a parent, you do have a unique opportunity and it\u2019s not mapping your own rememberedThe college admissions process is rough these days <\/h2>\n
experiencing. And it\u2019s rough out there. Today\u2019s applicants are surrounded and besieged. They\u2019re in a giant swirl of school information, rankings, chat rooms, social media, and admissions influencers.<\/p>\nThe colleges\u2019 evaluative processes are more complex than ever before and students know this<\/h2>\n
experience onto your child\u2019s. It\u2019s not about reviving aspirations of shots you feel you might have missed when you applied. It\u2019s not about the sticker you\u2019ll put on the car.<\/p>\n