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<\/a><\/div>\nBy Aimee, Project Lead of Gracie\u2019s Way, for National Grief Awareness Day 2026 <\/p>\n
\nNever above you. Never below you. Always beside you.<\/i>\n<\/p>\n
\u2014 Walter Winchell<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Firstly, I\u2019d like to start this guest post for National Grief Awareness Day 2026 on Gum On My Shoe, with the biggest thank you to Martin for allowing me the opportunity to write this piece and feature this very important topic on such a big platform. You may have seen my name on this blog previously but being referred to as another blogger (on www.imnotdisordered.co.uk<\/a>), but this post comes to you from my position of Project Lead of the pet bereavement project I launched in January called Gracie\u2019s Way (www.graciesway.co.uk<\/a>). I\u2019ve decided to use this guest post to focus on the impact that pet bereavement content can have on a person\u2019s mental health \u2014 with no relevance to whether they\u2019ve lost a pet or whether they had even just begun searching for such content! And that\u2019s why it matters so much \u2014 people are seeing this even where they are wanting to or don\u2019t need to. And so, where the bereavement content is having a negative impact, why not arm people with coping skills? Or, if it\u2019s had a positive impact, why not encourage that? And, why not, maybe even motivate others to start creating such content themselves to hopefully benefit from doing so, in some of the ways that I have? Let\u2019s begin with the creation of Gracie\u2019s Way and my poor assumptions.<\/p>\n
Surprisingly Wrong Expectations of the Amount of Pet Bereavement Content<\/h3>\n
Something that surprised me a heck of a lot after deciding to create Gracie\u2019s Way\u2019s Instagram (@GraciesWayUK<\/a>) was the amount of pet bereavement content on there. One big failure I made in creating Gracie\u2019s Way was that I didn\u2019t do any social media research around relevant content. I purely assumed that because there\u2019s barely any specialist, professional support for pet loss out there (we do have a very short Help Directory<\/a> on the website and I massively recognise the importance and respect due to them, even if they aren\u2019t in huge numbers) there likely wouldn\u2019t be much online content on pet bereavement either. I had thought the two went hand-in-hand, that if there were more organisations working on a theme, then they\u2019d be creating content, and they\u2019d be encouraging their audience to as well \u2014 as this is how it somewhat<\/i> works with mental health content too!<\/p>\n
Now, the decision I\u2019m glad I made in creating Gracie\u2019s Way was about opting to only create the one social media platform for it. I knew that with my three own accounts and my blog, and the Gracie\u2019s Way articles, it was going to be too big of a workload. So, based on some research but, mostly, on my own experiences of it, I decided to purely create an Instagram for the project. The happiness of this decision comes alongside the realisation that there\u2019s a lot of content out there because in all honesty, if I were being met with all this bereavement content from all three platforms, I\u2019d feel suffocated. Actually, I honestly believe I\u2019d drown in it!<\/p>\n
The hope I found though, was that mental health content \u2014 particularly around trauma, self-harm, and suicide \u2014 used to impact me to that degree, but over my thirteen years creating content, I\u2019ve come to adjust to the overwhelming feelings around the amount of content. So, I figure that I will do the same with pet bereavement content too \u2014 especially because it\u2019s coming from the one platform whereas the mental health content was around on all three of my accounts! And also especially because the coping skills and strategies I\u2019ve developed for coping with mental health and trauma content etc are ones which can be edited somewhat to fit pet bereavement content too.<\/p>\n
So, let\u2019s start there, shall we? <\/p>\n
My Top 3 Tips to Coping with the Amount of Content<\/h3>\n
1. Keep it necessary. If you don\u2019t have to look at the heart-breaking, emotional content then don\u2019t subject yourself to doing so! Only look at content and only for as long as is required and don\u2019t comment or engage in anything that isn\u2019t necessary or preferable either.<\/p>\n
2. Create a routine or time limit. I find it useful to assign times of the day to particular projects or tasks. In order to prioritise things, it usually helps where something has a deadline too, but if it\u2019s just about social media content, there may not be a deadline, try to set a time limit for yourself.<\/p>\n
3. Never believe that you have to \u201cearn\u201d or \u201cdeserve\u201d some sort of period of a break or distraction activity to take away from doing something challenging, upsetting, or distressing. It\u2019s a wellbeing right and something you\u2019re fully entitled to without any notion of having to be deserving of it.<\/p>\n
Establishing Your Motivations<\/h3>\n
Another useful tool in coping with looking through upsetting content is by establishing motivations for why you need to do it. For me, if I\u2019m struggling to do anything \u2014 to be honest! \u2014 I find it super helpful to just focus on remembering why I\u2019m doing it. If I can concentrate on why it matters to me and what\u2019s so important about it, then I find I have more strength, determination, passion, interest, care, energy, and courage to go through with it and do it! So, my key motivations for Gracie\u2019s Way are as follows. <\/p>\n
1. Inspiration<\/b><\/p>\n
I find looking at content inspirational in one key way; that it can provide me with new, creative, and very different thoughts and ideas for Instagram and website content or work for Gracie\u2019s Way that I might not have had off my own volition. That I might not have had if I hadn\u2019t seen the content of others. The example of Gracie\u2019s Way content that was inspired by other content is actually a bit different to what I\u2019ve been talking about in that it wasn\u2019t inspired by other social media content \u2014 but still media content, nonetheless. In this specific instance, in the shape of Emmerdale \u2014 a UK Soap on ITV \u2014 and so the content on Gracie\u2019s Way Instagram was named Top Tips to Coping with Pet Loss Triggers<\/a>. <\/p>\n
When I first started blogging in 2013, it was just as Zoe Sugg or Zoella was becoming popular, and influencers were becoming a thing \u2014 but mostly via YouTube channels rather than blogging. (Except for Victoria Magrath who does both\/everything!) But, either way, despite neither Zoe nor Victoria creating content about mental health, I looked to them for inspiration for my own content. I actually wrote a blog post about comparing my own content\u2019s success and popularity to hers, Zoella and I\u2019m NOT Disordered?<\/a> When I realised that there was only so much inspiration I could gain because of that difference in content (they focused on fashion and beauty), I decided to get more creative with it and in starting to write blog posts about their more personal methods of inspiration but this soon turned me to find only Victoria to be my role model and career inspiration and so, I wrote about her\/that in The Greatest Female Inspiration in my Blogging Career<\/a>.<\/p>\n
Despite this change and development in my means of inspiration in those early days, you\u2019ll see from the fact that I published those blog posts that I\u2019ve always been big on recognising those who have inspired me and I do this because I was brought up to treat others as I wanted to be treated. I\u2019ve always massively appreciated when people have credited me or particular pieces of the content that I\u2019ve created that have influenced or inspired them too. And it helps me to see that there\u2019s a bigger sense of purpose and hugely different to my content than what I might have intended or hoped for. Like, perhaps I was trying to initiate hope, but it\u2019s gone on to influence someone to actually reach out for help from professionals. <\/p>\n
If I find myself struggling with pet bereavement content, I try to remember the two sides of inspiration: that I need to look at this content to inspire content for me to create for Gracie\u2019s Way and then also, that in doing this, I could then inspire others in whatever way too. Something which also massively helps here is to formalize it too \u2014 of course this isn\u2019t going to work for someone who creates content on the side of a 9\u20135 job or something, but where content creation or being an influencer is a career? Separating yourself somewhat from looking through content and just keeping in your head that your job needs for you to do this, and that it isn\u2019t always about you having to relate your entire self to things. It can be about giving some sort of consideration on how others might relate to it and how you can create content to help those people.<\/p>\n
2. Your Impact on Others<\/b><\/p>\n
That last bit links nicely to this next point around motivation and how one reason for looking through pet bereavement content can be that it inspires or influences you to do something and that could impact on others.<\/p>\n
Almost immediately in my influencer career journey, I began receiving comments and feedback on my blog posts over on I\u2019m NOT Disordered and I\u2019m actually very grateful that they started so early on and didn\u2019t just happen when my blog started to grow in popularity or that might have made it more of a shock to the system! Whereas, receiving things straight away is the exact opposite because it\u2019s meant that I actually haven\u2019t really known any different, so I haven\u2019t had to accept something or had to learn to adjust to something. It\u2019s just the way it\u2019s always been. I\u2019ve always known how monumental and fundamental my content either is or can be, for the safety and stability of others in their own mental health journey. And I\u2019m glad about that because I honestly believe it\u2019s helped to provide me with so much motivation to continue creating content to as high a standard as I felt would make it worthy and deserving of all the attention it was starting to get and how much praise and positive feedback, I was receiving.<\/p>\n
Sadly, because this shouldn\u2019t be something you feel lucky about, I\u2019ve luckily received only two horrible comments in my entire thirteen years of blogging. However, those two comments were really nasty, and one, in particular, was actually completely fundamental and totally responsible to me closing the blog completely down for one month back in the end of 2014 (September\u2013October) \u2014 the one and only time in thirteen years that I\u2019ve stopped blogging! But, I actually still feel somewhat fortunate for those \u2014 especially the one which led to me closing my blog down \u2014 because doing so helped me to discover a passion and dedication for this career that I hadn\u2019t recognised or realised was within me until then. You don\u2019t know what you\u2019ve got \u2018til it\u2019s gone \u2014 it\u2019s like that!<\/p>\n
I won\u2019t lie; knowing your content is having such a profound impact on others can definitely be pressuring and stressful. My greatest issue with it was a while after I had been discharged from the psychiatric hospital I was in when I created I\u2019m NOT Disordered and I had my first relapse. I was very aware that I had become a bit of a poster-child for recovery and that it was going to be incredibly difficult to put anything out there about the relapse because I felt 100% certain that it had the potential to rock readers\u2019 stability too. I felt such that it could very understandably leave people thinking \u201cso you get that well and still go backwards?\u201d And I knew this could be a thought for others because it was one of the many heart-breaking and disappointing thoughts going through my head too.<\/p>\n
I managed to switch things though and turned it into motivation to spread the word that relapses happen \u2014 you can take 20 steps forward and 5 back but that doesn\u2019t mean your recovery is over or that there\u2019s no point in still trying to get back to 20 steps forward! And it made me realise that professionals tend not to make service users aware of the possibility of relapse \u2014 which is likely because they\u2019re afraid they\u2019ll phrase it wrong and it\u2019ll end up destroying a person\u2019s hope and recovery.<\/p>\n
3. Inner Healing and Validation<\/b><\/p>\n
Finally, motivation and rationale for looking at pet bereavement content isn\u2019t all about others or your own content creation and career path. It\u2019s about you, too. There\u2019s a motivation there that\u2019s about your best interests and your own wellbeing too. Emotionally and physically. One key way I personally benefit from such content has been validation. Over the years, I\u2019ve discovered that validation, for me and my mental health, is absolutely paramount to my wellbeing and recovery and can be a deal-breaker in my physical safety levels and emotional stability and resilience. And I think that\u2019s because there have been so many instances where mental health professionals haven\u2019t provided me with validation when I\u2019ve massively, desperately needed it in moments of actual, intense, and incredibly physically unsafe mental health crisis.<\/p>\n
In my opinion, validation isn\u2019t a difficult thing to provide someone with. It doesn\u2019t take a whole lot of effort or thought to literally just say it in the simplest of ways like; \u201cI know what you mean\u201d or \u201cthat makes sense\u201d or \u201cyou\u2019re bound to be thinking\/feeling like that.\u201d And, validation is something that you can say \u2014 like those very simple comments \u2014 where it doesn\u2019t matter hugely if you actually can\u2019t understand where someone is coming from or you don\u2019t totally agree with them or can\u2019t empathise and relate to their situation and why they\u2019re struggling. And this is very obviously a huge issue in pet bereavement because there are \u2014 strangely, to me \u2014 people out there who have never had a pet before and so it\u2019s actually not even purely about never losing one \u2014 they literally don\u2019t know how it feels to even have one to begin with!<\/p>\n
For me, validation is actually really more powerful when it comes from a complete stranger. That doesn\u2019t mean my loved ones shouldn\u2019t try it for me if I come to them upset, nor does it mean that it doesn\u2019t mean the world to me when they do it! It\u2019s just that I \u2014 and my mental health \u2014 seem to be more largely impacted when the validation comes from a stranger or a professional who I don\u2019t know and have never met. And I think this is because when it is someone I know and care for, I always have that worry \u201care they just saying it?\u201d and it\u2019s not that I think anyone in my life is ingenuine or would lie to me, but it\u2019s a niggle that I get. An unfounded one, admittedly!<\/p>\n
Over to You(!)<\/h3>\n
Now, something I love with some of Martin\u2019s content is when he does this little bit at the end that\u2019s like \u201cover to you\u201d or something! So, just to be clear \u2014 this isn\u2019t a section I normally create; it\u2019s completely inspired by other pieces of Martin\u2019s. <\/p>\n
I\u2019d like for you to now go away and sit and write a little list of motivations you have. Of all the reasons you can think of as to why looking at pet bereavement content can be helpful or positive or productive for you in some way. And, if you have the time, think about numbering those motivations and considering giving them ranking of priorities as to which is most important, which makes the largest difference, and maybe even consider in which ways they do make a difference. This can help you to be more in tune, if you\u2019re struggling, to recognise what you need in that moment and in what way you can get it.<\/p>\n
Please also check Gracie\u2019s Way out (www.graciesway.co.uk<\/a>) and the Instagram (@gracieswayuk<\/a>). <\/p>\n
This isn\u2019t the only content I\u2019ve created for National Grief Awareness Day. Over on my blog (www.imnotdisordered.co.uk<\/a>) there\u2019s a massive collaboration with Etsy store Pawfect Piccies<\/a> going live (it\u2019s likely up when Martin posts this one!) which includes a whopping 35% off discount code for their items exclusive to I\u2019m NOT Disordered readers! This is where the Gracie\u2019s Way top I\u2019m wearing in the photo is from. So, please check that out too to see if they have anything you\u2019d like to use the code for, or find it via my own Instagram (@aimes_wilson<\/a>)!<\/p>\n
Thank you for having Gracie\u2019s Way, Martin!<\/p>\n
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Photo and graphics by the author.\n<\/p>\n
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