{"id":7050585,"date":"2026-08-29T04:21:01","date_gmt":"2026-08-29T04:21:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/uncategorized\/kathys-blog-posts-kathy-archer\/"},"modified":"2026-08-29T04:21:01","modified_gmt":"2026-08-29T04:21:01","slug":"kathys-blog-posts-kathy-archer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7050585","title":{"rendered":"Kathy&#8217;s Blog Posts &#8211; KATHY ARCHER"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div id=\"\">\n<td valign=\"top\">\n<div id=\"781878830328294126-blog\" class=\"blog-body\" style=\"float: left;\">\n<div id=\"wsite-content\">\n<div id=\"blog-post-984267565208205062\" class=\"blog-post\">\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<div class=\"blog-content\">\n<div>\n<div class=\"wsite-image wsite-image-border-none \" style=\"padding-top:10px;padding-bottom:10px;margin-left:0;margin-right:0;text-align:center\"> <a> <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.kathyarcher.com\/uploads\/5\/9\/9\/8\/5998742\/how-to-stop-taking-feedback-personally_orig.jpg\" alt=\"Picture\" style=\"width:auto;max-width:100%\"\/> <\/a>  <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"200271304913427869\">\n<div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\"><![CDATA[\n\t\n]]><\/style>\n<p><style><![CDATA[\n\n            .bundle-seo-title-link {\n                position: relative;\n            }\n\n            .bundle-seo-title-link a {\n                position: absolute;\n                left: 0;\n                top: 0;\n                width: 100%;\n                height: 100%;\n            }\n\n            body #seo-title-w9gw8rvlfoq {\n                text-align: left!important;\n                margin: 10px auto 10px!important;;\n                background-color: rgba(0,0,0,0)!important;;\n                padding: 10px 0px!important;;\n                color: #333!important;;\n                text-decoration: none;\n                line-height: 1.5!important;;\n                font-size: 24px!important;;\n                -webkit-box-sizing: border-box;\n                box-sizing: border-box;\n                font-family: Roboto!important;;\n                font-style: normal!important;\n                font-weight: 400!important;;\n                letter-spacing: 0px!important;;\n                \n                \n\n                \n\n\n\n                border-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px;\n                overflow: hidden;\n            }\n            #seo-title-w9gw8rvlfoq i {\n                font-size: inherit;\n            }\n            #seo-title-w9gw8rvlfoq.bundle-seo-title-link:hover{\n                background-color:  rgba(0,0,0,0);\n                color: #333;\n                border-color: #333;\n            }\n            #seo-title-w9gw8rvlfoq.button-shadow-normal {\n                -webkit-box-shadow: 2px 7px 12px 1px rgba(0,0,0,.2);\n                box-shadow: 2px 7px 12px 1px rgba(0,0,0,.2);\n            }\n           \n            @media(max-width: 768px) {\n                \n                body #seo-title-w9gw8rvlfoq {\n                    text-align: left!important;\n                    font-size: 24px!important;\n                    letter-spacing: 0!important;\n                    line-height: 1.5!important;\n                    padding: 10px 0px!important;\n                }\n            }\n            @media(max-width: 576px) {\n              \n                body #seo-title-w9gw8rvlfoq {\n                    text-align: left!important;\n                    font-size: 24px!important;\n                    letter-spacing: 0!important;\n                    line-height: 1.5!important;\n                    padding: 10px 0px!important;\n                }\n            }\n        ]]><\/style>\n<h2 id=\"seo-title-w9gw8rvlfoq\" class=\"bundle-seo-title\"> <span spellcheck=\"false\"><b>That knot in your stomach before a tough meeting? Here&#8217;s what to do about it.<\/b><\/span> <\/h2>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"paragraph\">I was talking to Sandra earlier this week. Sandra is a manager of a busy, short-staffed program. And, she has a meeting with her boss coming up, and she\u2019s been <strong>dreading it for a week<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Every time I think about it, the knot in my stomach gets tighter,<\/em>\u201d she told me.<\/p>\n<p>She knows what\u2019s coming. Her boss will point out everything she\u2019s doing wrong, <strong>highlight her weaknesses<\/strong>, and Sandra will walk out feeling beaten down instead of supported.<\/p>\n<p>Sandra\u2019s <strong>mind has been working overtime<\/strong>, imagining the worst: being fired on the spot, raked over the coals, belittled.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s what I told her: Most of what you fear will probably happen. Your boss will pick you apart. She will be mean about it.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"635831888814263135\">\n<div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\"><![CDATA[\n\t\n]]><\/style>\n<p><style><![CDATA[\n\n            .bundle-seo-title-link {\n                position: relative;\n            }\n\n            .bundle-seo-title-link a {\n                position: absolute;\n                left: 0;\n                top: 0;\n                width: 100%;\n                height: 100%;\n            }\n\n            body #seo-title-ks9p2qh8z1 {\n                text-align: left!important;\n                margin: 10px auto 10px!important;;\n                background-color: rgba(0,0,0,0)!important;;\n                padding: 10px 0px!important;;\n                color: #333!important;;\n                text-decoration: none;\n                line-height: 1.3!important;;\n                font-size: 23px!important;;\n                -webkit-box-sizing: border-box;\n                box-sizing: border-box;\n                font-family: Roboto!important;;\n                font-style: normal!important;\n                font-weight: 400!important;;\n                letter-spacing: 0px!important;;\n                \n                \n\n                \n\n\n\n                border-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px;\n                overflow: hidden;\n            }\n            #seo-title-ks9p2qh8z1 i {\n                font-size: inherit;\n            }\n            #seo-title-ks9p2qh8z1.bundle-seo-title-link:hover{\n                background-color:  rgba(0,0,0,0);\n                color: #333;\n                border-color: #333;\n            }\n            #seo-title-ks9p2qh8z1.button-shadow-normal {\n                -webkit-box-shadow: 2px 7px 12px 1px rgba(0,0,0,.2);\n                box-shadow: 2px 7px 12px 1px rgba(0,0,0,.2);\n            }\n           \n            @media(max-width: 768px) {\n                \n                body #seo-title-ks9p2qh8z1 {\n                    text-align: left!important;\n                    font-size: 23px!important;\n                    letter-spacing: 0!important;\n                    line-height: 1.3!important;\n                    padding: 10px 0px!important;\n                }\n            }\n            @media(max-width: 576px) {\n              \n                body #seo-title-ks9p2qh8z1 {\n                    text-align: left!important;\n                    font-size: 23px!important;\n                    letter-spacing: 0!important;\n                    line-height: 1.3!important;\n                    padding: 10px 0px!important;\n                }\n            }\n        ]]><\/style>\n<h2 id=\"seo-title-ks9p2qh8z1\" class=\"bundle-seo-title\"> <span><b>Here&#8217;s What You Can Control<\/b><\/span> <\/h2>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"paragraph\">But here\u2019s what you get to control\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><strong>You don\u2019t have to believe all of it.<\/strong> You don\u2019t have to take it as the absolute truth. You get to choose which parts are helpful and which are just noise.<\/p>\n<p>To help her make choices that would help <strong>her feel more in control<\/strong>, confident, and aligned, I walked Sandra through how to prepare for the meeting using The Infinite Leadership Loop.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<div class=\"wsite-image wsite-image-border-none \" style=\"padding-top:10px;padding-bottom:10px;margin-left:0;margin-right:0;text-align:center\"> <a> <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.kathyarcher.com\/uploads\/5\/9\/9\/8\/5998742\/4276f85f67d1c01d831943cad13f81e303e10a7e8d8d347faba4f0616c3c1b32a023dc74f0ec55a4ad7be9586e0bc923063aaa250972dfe46fdf8a7458b5195d4b701b66a10510a3745e1b796c2a0d1c9891611377b23e7f10accc3abd0661b68a3f7853_orig.webp\" alt=\"Picture\" style=\"width:auto;max-width:100%\"\/> <\/a>  <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"404426459299034316\">\n<div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\"><![CDATA[\n\t\n]]><\/style>\n<p><style><![CDATA[\n\n            .bundle-seo-title-link {\n                position: relative;\n            }\n\n            .bundle-seo-title-link a {\n                position: absolute;\n                left: 0;\n                top: 0;\n                width: 100%;\n                height: 100%;\n            }\n\n            body #seo-title-kus60ghc6pk {\n                text-align: left!important;\n                margin: 10px auto 10px!important;;\n                background-color: rgba(0,0,0,0)!important;;\n                padding: 10px 0px!important;;\n                color: #333!important;;\n                text-decoration: none;\n                line-height: 1.2!important;;\n                font-size: 23px!important;;\n                -webkit-box-sizing: border-box;\n                box-sizing: border-box;\n                font-family: Roboto!important;;\n                font-style: normal!important;\n                font-weight: 400!important;;\n                letter-spacing: 0px!important;;\n                \n                \n\n                \n\n\n\n                border-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px;\n                overflow: hidden;\n            }\n            #seo-title-kus60ghc6pk i {\n                font-size: inherit;\n            }\n            #seo-title-kus60ghc6pk.bundle-seo-title-link:hover{\n                background-color:  rgba(0,0,0,0);\n                color: #333;\n                border-color: #333;\n            }\n            #seo-title-kus60ghc6pk.button-shadow-normal {\n                -webkit-box-shadow: 2px 7px 12px 1px rgba(0,0,0,.2);\n                box-shadow: 2px 7px 12px 1px rgba(0,0,0,.2);\n            }\n           \n            @media(max-width: 768px) {\n                \n                body #seo-title-kus60ghc6pk {\n                    text-align: left!important;\n                    font-size: 23px!important;\n                    letter-spacing: 0!important;\n                    line-height: 1.2!important;\n                    padding: 10px 0px!important;\n                }\n            }\n            @media(max-width: 576px) {\n              \n                body #seo-title-kus60ghc6pk {\n                    text-align: left!important;\n                    font-size: 23px!important;\n                    letter-spacing: 0!important;\n                    line-height: 1.2!important;\n                    padding: 10px 0px!important;\n                }\n            }\n        ]]><\/style>\n<h2 id=\"seo-title-kus60ghc6pk\" class=\"bundle-seo-title\"> <span><b>The Inner Work: Pause, Ponder, Pivot, Proceed<\/b><\/span> <\/h2>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"paragraph\"><strong>First, PAUSE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Before you react to what she says, take a breath. Even if she\u2019s waiting for you to respond.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Then, PONDER<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Get clear on what\u2019s actually true vs. what\u2019s just mean delivery.<\/p>\n<p>Her boss will say: \u201cYou have too much overtime. You\u2019re not good at managing your time. You\u2019re always late with reports.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s where Sandra gets to choose how she hears it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Victim mindset:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>I don\u2019t know how to do this work without overtime<br \/>I\u2019ve never been good at managing my time<br \/>I\u2019m not leadership material<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>Response-able mindset:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>I\u2019ve been working hard and putting in extra effort<br \/>I\u2019m committed, and I care about my job<br \/>Yes, the overtime is killing me. I want to reduce it &#8211; not because my boss is telling me to, but because I want to figure leadership out AND have a life.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>PIVOT your thoughts<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Shift from \u201cI\u2019m not leadership material\u201d to \u201cI\u2019m learning, and I care about getting better at this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Then PROCEED<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Get ready to have the conversation, holding onto that truth instead of the mean delivery.<\/p>\n<p>This is the inner work. But it doesn\u2019t stop there.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"136452416475894309\">\n<div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\"><![CDATA[\n\t\n]]><\/style>\n<p><style><![CDATA[\n\n            .bundle-seo-title-link {\n                position: relative;\n            }\n\n            .bundle-seo-title-link a {\n                position: absolute;\n                left: 0;\n                top: 0;\n                width: 100%;\n                height: 100%;\n            }\n\n            body #seo-title-znjcuk1bnoj {\n                text-align: left!important;\n                margin: 10px auto 10px!important;;\n                background-color: rgba(0,0,0,0)!important;;\n                padding: 10px 0px!important;;\n                color: #333!important;;\n                text-decoration: none;\n                line-height: 1.3!important;;\n                font-size: 23px!important;;\n                -webkit-box-sizing: border-box;\n                box-sizing: border-box;\n                font-family: Roboto!important;;\n                font-style: normal!important;\n                font-weight: 400!important;;\n                letter-spacing: 0px!important;;\n                \n                \n\n                \n\n\n\n                border-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px;\n                overflow: hidden;\n            }\n            #seo-title-znjcuk1bnoj i {\n                font-size: inherit;\n            }\n            #seo-title-znjcuk1bnoj.bundle-seo-title-link:hover{\n                background-color:  rgba(0,0,0,0);\n                color: #333;\n                border-color: #333;\n            }\n            #seo-title-znjcuk1bnoj.button-shadow-normal {\n                -webkit-box-shadow: 2px 7px 12px 1px rgba(0,0,0,.2);\n                box-shadow: 2px 7px 12px 1px rgba(0,0,0,.2);\n            }\n           \n            @media(max-width: 768px) {\n                \n                body #seo-title-znjcuk1bnoj {\n                    text-align: left!important;\n                    font-size: 23px!important;\n                    letter-spacing: 0!important;\n                    line-height: 1.3!important;\n                    padding: 10px 0px!important;\n                }\n            }\n            @media(max-width: 576px) {\n              \n                body #seo-title-znjcuk1bnoj {\n                    text-align: left!important;\n                    font-size: 23px!important;\n                    letter-spacing: 0!important;\n                    line-height: 1.3!important;\n                    padding: 10px 0px!important;\n                }\n            }\n        ]]><\/style>\n<h2 id=\"seo-title-znjcuk1bnoj\" class=\"bundle-seo-title\"> <span><b>Then Comes the PEOPLE Part<\/b><\/span> <\/h2>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"paragraph\"><strong>The PEOPLE part\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is when Sandra actually walks into that meeting with her boss. She\u2019s done the inner work, so now she can engage with her boss differently. She can listen to the feedback, take what\u2019s useful, and let the rest go. She\u2019s not reacting from a place of feeling small. <strong>She\u2019s responding from a place of strength.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"692110288833676313\">\n<div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\"><![CDATA[\n\t\n]]><\/style>\n<p><style><![CDATA[\n\n            .bundle-seo-title-link {\n                position: relative;\n            }\n\n            .bundle-seo-title-link a {\n                position: absolute;\n                left: 0;\n                top: 0;\n                width: 100%;\n                height: 100%;\n            }\n\n            body #seo-title-qws3gd84gxs {\n                text-align: left!important;\n                margin: 10px auto 10px!important;;\n                background-color: rgba(0,0,0,0)!important;;\n                padding: 10px 0px!important;;\n                color: #333!important;;\n                text-decoration: none;\n                line-height: 1.5!important;;\n                font-size: 23px!important;;\n                -webkit-box-sizing: border-box;\n                box-sizing: border-box;\n                font-family: Roboto!important;;\n                font-style: normal!important;\n                font-weight: 400!important;;\n                letter-spacing: 0px!important;;\n                \n                \n\n                \n\n\n\n                border-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px;\n                overflow: hidden;\n            }\n            #seo-title-qws3gd84gxs i {\n                font-size: inherit;\n            }\n            #seo-title-qws3gd84gxs.bundle-seo-title-link:hover{\n                background-color:  rgba(0,0,0,0);\n                color: #333;\n                border-color: #333;\n            }\n            #seo-title-qws3gd84gxs.button-shadow-normal {\n                -webkit-box-shadow: 2px 7px 12px 1px rgba(0,0,0,.2);\n                box-shadow: 2px 7px 12px 1px rgba(0,0,0,.2);\n            }\n           \n            @media(max-width: 768px) {\n                \n                body #seo-title-qws3gd84gxs {\n                    text-align: left!important;\n                    font-size: 23px!important;\n                    letter-spacing: 0!important;\n                    line-height: 1.5!important;\n                    padding: 10px 0px!important;\n                }\n            }\n            @media(max-width: 576px) {\n              \n                body #seo-title-qws3gd84gxs {\n                    text-align: left!important;\n                    font-size: 23px!important;\n                    letter-spacing: 0!important;\n                    line-height: 1.5!important;\n                    padding: 10px 0px!important;\n                }\n            }\n        ]]><\/style>\n<h2 id=\"seo-title-qws3gd84gxs\" class=\"bundle-seo-title\"> <span><b>What Happened Next<\/b><\/span> <\/h2>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"paragraph\">By the end of our call, Sandra was still nervous. But instead of feeling like a victim of the conversation, <strong>she felt in control<\/strong> of how she\u2019d hear it and what she\u2019d do with it.<\/p>\n<p>The tightness in her stomach had started to ease.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"745544028880027789\">\n<div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\"><![CDATA[\n\t\n]]><\/style>\n<p><style><![CDATA[\n\n            .bundle-seo-title-link {\n                position: relative;\n            }\n\n            .bundle-seo-title-link a {\n                position: absolute;\n                left: 0;\n                top: 0;\n                width: 100%;\n                height: 100%;\n            }\n\n            body #seo-title-u0t8lalk4wc {\n                text-align: left!important;\n                margin: 10px auto 10px!important;;\n                background-color: rgba(0,0,0,0)!important;;\n                padding: 10px 0px!important;;\n                color: #333!important;;\n                text-decoration: none;\n                line-height: 1.5!important;;\n                font-size: 25px!important;;\n                -webkit-box-sizing: border-box;\n                box-sizing: border-box;\n                font-family: Roboto!important;;\n                font-style: normal!important;\n                font-weight: 400!important;;\n                letter-spacing: 0px!important;;\n                \n                \n\n                \n\n\n\n                border-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px;\n                overflow: hidden;\n            }\n            #seo-title-u0t8lalk4wc i {\n                font-size: inherit;\n            }\n            #seo-title-u0t8lalk4wc.bundle-seo-title-link:hover{\n                background-color:  rgba(0,0,0,0);\n                color: #333;\n                border-color: #333;\n            }\n            #seo-title-u0t8lalk4wc.button-shadow-normal {\n                -webkit-box-shadow: 2px 7px 12px 1px rgba(0,0,0,.2);\n                box-shadow: 2px 7px 12px 1px rgba(0,0,0,.2);\n            }\n           \n            @media(max-width: 768px) {\n                \n                body #seo-title-u0t8lalk4wc {\n                    text-align: left!important;\n                    font-size: 25px!important;\n                    letter-spacing: 0!important;\n                    line-height: 1.5!important;\n                    padding: 10px 0px!important;\n                }\n            }\n            @media(max-width: 576px) {\n              \n                body #seo-title-u0t8lalk4wc {\n                    text-align: left!important;\n                    font-size: 25px!important;\n                    letter-spacing: 0!important;\n                    line-height: 1.5!important;\n                    padding: 10px 0px!important;\n                }\n            }\n        ]]><\/style>\n<h2 id=\"seo-title-u0t8lalk4wc\" class=\"bundle-seo-title\"> <span><b>Join the Book Club!<\/b><\/span> <\/h2>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<div class=\"wsite-image wsite-image-border-none \" style=\"padding-top:10px;padding-bottom:10px;margin-left:0;margin-right:0;text-align:center\"> <a> <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.kathyarcher.com\/uploads\/5\/9\/9\/8\/5998742\/ac12ce825ec22827da9155550b622d2546cd6359a587f82001dc5f820dacdbcab22124557a01f444b5c1936b5ca2b77faa0a25e82056ae90ca1f6ac82d1d70d54ed1563ed349c66335ef4a87c1d95af67dd11e24d6a1266cfe08944974eef34ff3a35497_orig.webp\" alt=\"Picture\" style=\"width:auto;max-width:100%\"\/> <\/a>  <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"paragraph\">If you\u2019re tired of that knot in your stomach before tough meetings, you might be interested in the 6-week <a href=\"https:\/\/www.kathyarcher.com\/mastering-confidence-book-club.html\" target=\"_blank\">Mastering Confidence Book Club<\/a> starting March 6, where we work through The Infinite Leadership Loop together.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; You\u2019ll learn how to become response-able.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; How to take back your power.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; How to handle tough conversations without feeling beaten down.<\/p>\n<p>Dates: Fridays 12-1:30 PM Mountain Time on Zoom. March 6 &#8211; April 17<\/p>\n<p>Details and registration here: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.kathyarcher.com\/mastering-confidence-book-club.html\" target=\"_blank\">Mastering Confidence Book Club<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.kathyarcher.com\/mastering-confidence-book-club.html\" target=\"_blank\">Join the Book Club<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"paragraph\">I know what it\u2019s like to dread those meetings. To feel like you\u2019re walking into a conversation where you\u2019ll be torn apart. But you don\u2019t have to keep feeling powerless. You can learn to take back control of how you hear feedback and how you show up. That\u2019s what being response-able means, and you can do it too!<\/p>\n<p>Remember, you don\u2019t have to do leadership alone.\u00a0 I\u2019m here to help.<\/p>\n<p>~ Kathy\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Do the Inner Work. It\u2019s Worth it!<\/p>\n<p>P.S. If you\u2019re thinking, \u201cI need <a href=\"https:\/\/www.kathyarcher.com\/mastering-confidence-book-club.html\" target=\"_blank\">this book club<\/a>, but I\u2019m not sure if now is the right time\u201d, trust me, there\u2019s never a perfect time. But there is a right time. And if you\u2019re still taking that knot in your stomach to every tough meeting, that time is now.<\/p>\n<p>P.P.S. Sandra messaged me after her meeting. \u201cIt worked,\u201d she said. \u201cI still felt nervous, but I was in control of my emotions and my responses. I didn\u2019t feel small.\u201d That\u2019s what this work does<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"wsite-youtube\" style=\"margin-bottom:10px;margin-top:10px;\">\n<div class=\"wsite-youtube-wrapper wsite-youtube-size-auto wsite-youtube-align-center\">\n<p>  <iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Scared to Talk to Your Employee? 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