{"id":7050091,"date":"2026-08-28T15:40:11","date_gmt":"2026-08-28T15:40:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/uncategorized\/when-ive-got-this-stops-helping-you\/"},"modified":"2026-08-28T15:40:11","modified_gmt":"2026-08-28T15:40:11","slug":"when-ive-got-this-stops-helping-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7050091","title":{"rendered":"When \u201cI\u2019ve Got This\u201d Stops Helping You"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n<\/p>\n

\n

The other day, I was feeling it.<\/p>\n

I have a huge month ahead. Keynotes, events, clients, my program, The Boardroom Collective\u2026 lots of things happening at once.<\/p>\n

All things I love. All things I can normally handle.<\/p>\n

But this time, overwhelm started creeping in. Then came the self-doubt.<\/p>\n

Can I actually do all of this?<\/em><\/p>\n

I lost sleep for two nights trying to work everything out in my own head.<\/p>\n

Then I called a friend.<\/p>\n

I told her what was going on and she reframed the problem for me. She didn\u2019t take anything off my plate. She didn\u2019t magically solve my workload.
She simply helped me see it differently.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And it was like someone opened a release valve.<\/p>\n

The stress dropped. Clarity returned. So did my energy.<\/p>\n

And that night, I slept.<\/p>\n

Why is asking for help so hard?<\/strong><\/h2>\n

I\u2019ll admit, I\u2019m not always good at it.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a part of me that thinks,\u00a0I should be able to handle this.<\/em><\/p>\n

And I suspect that gets stronger when you\u2019re used to being the capable one.<\/p>\n

The leader.
The problem solver.
The person people come to.
The one who gets things done.<\/p>\n

Capability can become part of your identity. And without even realising it,\u00a0I can handle this<\/em>\u00a0can become\u00a0I should handle this on my own.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

They\u2019re not the same thing.<\/p>\n

Research from Stanford and the University of Chicago found that we tend to underestimate how willing other people are to help us. Across a series of studies involving more than 2,000 people, those needing help underestimated people\u2019s willingness to help and how positive helping would make them feel, while overestimating how inconvenienced they would feel by being asked.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s interesting, isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

We can spend an enormous amount of energy worrying about whether we should ask, what someone might think, whether we\u2019re burdening them or whether we should simply be able to sort it out ourselves.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Meanwhile, the person we\u2019re thinking about calling may be far more willing to help than we imagine.<\/p>\n

Capability doesn\u2019t mean doing everything alone<\/strong><\/h2>\n

That phone call reminded me of something I know, but don\u2019t always practise.<\/p>\n

Sometimes we don\u2019t need someone to solve the problem. We need perspective.<\/p>\n

Someone outside the noise who can see what we can\u2019t. Someone who asks a different question, challenges our thinking or simply helps us untangle everything that\u2019s become tangled in our own head.<\/p>\n

And asking for that doesn\u2019t diminish our capability. I\u2019d argue it\u2019s part of it.<\/p>\n

We talk a lot about self-awareness in leadership. Surely recognising when you\u2019re too close to something to see it clearly is self-awareness too.<\/p>\n

My friend didn\u2019t change what I had ahead of me.
The keynotes were still there. The events were still happening. The work still needed to be done.<\/p>\n

My workload didn\u2019t change. The way I saw it did.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And that changed everything.<\/p>\n

So, who do you call when you can\u2019t see the wood for the trees?<\/p>\n

Perhaps the more important question is\u2026<\/p>\n

Are you actually willing to call them?<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The other day, I was feeling it. I have a huge month ahead. Keynotes, events, clients, my program, The Boardroom Collective\u2026 lots of things happening at once. All things I love. All things I can normally handle. But this time, overwhelm started creeping in. Then came the self-doubt. Can I actually do all of this? […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7050092,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[99195],"tags":[11467,4286,19493],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-7050091","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorised","tag-helping","tag-ive","tag-stops"],"yoast_head":"\nWhen \u201cI\u2019ve Got This\u201d Stops Helping You - Som2ny Network<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7050091\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"When \u201cI\u2019ve Got This\u201d Stops Helping You - Som2ny Network\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The other day, I was feeling it. 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