Janie Barnett reflects on raising her daughter in Park Slope and how to encourage the most meaningful experiences for our children in this community of abundant options.<\/p>\n
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When my 5-year-old daughter, Adrienne, walked into her first class at Jennifer Kliegel\u2019s Dance Studio of Park Slope, she became a member of the best girls\u2019 club in the city. \u00a0Adrienne said yes to any class we could give her. \u00a0From that very first tumbling class, to the jazz\/tap\/ballet combo class, to the diversified classes for the older students, my daughter was in a kind of bliss for over ten years. \u00a0It was funny, sweaty, silly, and the costumes were exotic and shiny. \u00a0But the work became disciplined, and for all practical purposes, the environment was professional. \u00a0Each teacher was a choreographer. \u00a0The dancers took the routines very<\/i> seriously. \u00a0And they got good! The shows out at Brooklyn College began with adorable little kid tappers \u2013 both female and male \u2013 but eventually the 11 -16 year olds would take the stage, and they were darn good. \u00a0Disciplined, expressive, strong, and working as a team.<\/i><\/p>\n
What made this dance studio so extraordinary? \u00a0The hard-working teacher\/dancers? \u00a0The studio two stories above 7th Avenue, with bright sunny windows? \u00a0Great exercise for the kids? \u00a0Jennifer herself? \u00a0All of the above, of course. \u00a0We, as parents, wrestle with the same ongoing questions about our kids\u2019 after school activities. \u00a0Is this just for fun<\/i>? \u00a0How far do we go with this? \u00a0Is this time best spent? \u00a0It\u2019s hard to argue with the pure merits of dance class for a growing child. \u00a0But most of us do come to understand that the club environment of a place like the dance studio, with its routines and rituals, its comradery and teamwork, and the striving over many weeks towards a goal, is worth its weight in gold.<\/p>\n
At about the same time Adrienne began dance class, she joined her first AYSO soccer team. \u00a0Within two years she had also joined Carmelo the Science Fellow\u2019s afterschool science club at her public school. The AYSO team morphed into a competitive travel team, trained by Harry Triana and his brother John Triana. \u00a0There were some seasons where I was picking Adrienne up 20 minutes early from soccer practice in Red Hook, to get her to Jazz class at the Dance Studio back on 7th Ave.<\/p>\n
To all of these hard-working professionals who have dedicated their time to working with youth, I send this love letter.<\/p>\n
Out on that soccer field, my 6-year-old ran in circles and got a trophy. \u00a0But a few years in, her coach, who would be involved in her soccer world until she graduated from high school, said \u201cyou know, at some point, it kind of should matter whether they play well, and whether they win.\u201d \u00a0To me, this qualified, parsed comment was absolutely ideal. \u00a0So yes, it kind of did matter, because children should learn to work hard and take pride in that process of improvement. \u00a0But it takes smart and gifted professionals working with youth to balance the challenge to grow with the challenge to succeed or, perhaps, win. \u00a0These soccer coaches wanted their teams to win, no doubt. \u00a0But more importantly they wanted their teams to improve, and to work as a team. \u00a0When my daughter considered leaving her team that she had played with for so many years, two of her teammates arranged a 3-way call, asking her to stay. \u00a0My daughter was a good player, but she was not indispensable. What she was, was a beloved teammate. Adrienne stayed on the team.<\/p>\n
Carmelo the Science Fellow, aka Carmelo Piazza, well known to many brownstone Brooklyn families, has had a winning way with students for a long time. This young teacher excited my daughter about science, so much so that she is now a science teacher herself, part of the movement to find new and better ways to teach the science in our schools. \u00a0But at the time, what I witnessed above all was Carmelo\u2019s ability to get the youngest, and sometimes the most troubled kids to focus<\/i>. \u00a0Focus on that bug he was holding. \u00a0Focus on that slippery slimy lizard. \u00a0Laugh about that owl pod that encased mouse bones. \u00a0(\u201cEwe!! The kids shrieked.) \u00a0The 2nd grade science class at PS 261 was about discovery, laugher, and focus. There was always some small wonderful task to perform, and these little ones learned how to perform them.<\/p>\n
In addition to my life as a performing musician, I am also an arts educator, and I have been profoundly impacted in my own teaching, observing these professionals work with my daughter and her friends, classmates and teammates through the years. \u00a0Our children witness so much messaging that suggests they must attach a significant goal to each activity in which they engage. \u00a0A goal is by no means a nasty thing, it\u2019s a good thing. \u00a0But what a talented professional working with youth understands, is that there are many kinds of goals, short term and long term, and long term goals that masquerade as short terms goals. \u00a0\u00a0<\/i>We as parents receive our own messaging. \u00a0Get your kid involved in something early that they can get good at. \u00a0Maybe there\u2019s a prodigy in there!! The years go by, and before you know it you and your child are feeling the pressure to build a resume for college, get an athletic scholarship, show off a \u201ctalent\u201d in a portfolio. \u00a0And we all have a secret wish that our children find something early that suggests a brilliant career. \u00a0Sometimes we get carried away.<\/p>\n
I have reminded myself many times through my daughter\u2019s upbringing that these wonderful activities are there for her to enjoy, first and foremost, but also to learn what it feels like to grow, to rely on and give support to fellow teammates, to look up to a coach or leader, to develop a passion for something that you can love for a lifetime. \u00a0These are true measures of meaningful experience for our children.<\/p>\n
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Janie Barnett<\/a> is a Brooklyn mom and Americana singer-songwriter.\u00a0She\u00a0rose in the NYC music freelance world,\u00a0singing backup for iconic stars like Linda Ronstadt, Celine Dion, and Rickie Lee Jones and appearing on SNL and The Today Show, all while continuing her search for her own essential expression. Her latest album \u201cYou See This River\u201d is the culmination of Barnett\u2019s years of searching and exploring. The album made the first round Grammy ballot in the following categories: Best Folk Album, Best American Roots Song and Best American Roots Vocal. Janie currently splits her time between Brooklyn and Boston, where she has been an associate professor at Berklee College of Music for close to 15 years. Connect with her on FB<\/a> or Twitter<\/a>.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Featured Photo by Krista McPhee<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\nRelated Posts<\/em><\/h3>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n