\u2013\u00a0by Jordan Karr, PhD<\/em><\/p>\n We all need reassurance once in a while. Receiving reassurance from a friend, loved one, or expert can reduce short-term distress, foster a sense of connection, and help us move forward in a productive way. On the other hand, excessive reassurance seeking can lead to a painful cycle of stress and doubt. For individuals with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), reassurance is fleeting and is quickly followed by a resurgence of perceived threat and a compelling drive to seek additional reassurance.<\/p>\n As an OCD and anxiety specialist, I am no stranger to reassurance traps. I see them in the patient who repeatedly consults doctors but never fully trusts their answers; the partner who keeps asking, \u201cDo you still love me?\u201d while scrutinizing every response; and the teenager who needs her homework checked repeatedly but does not learn to tolerate uncertainty. While the content of excessive reassurance seeking may vary, its function remains the same, relieving anxiety momentarily while allowing obsessions to rebound more strongly in the long run. In each example, we see an individual desperately trying to protect something they hold dear while being misled by one of OCD\u2019s most convincing lines: \u201cWhat if this time the reassurance sticks?\u201d<\/p>\n Psychologists have long argued that excessive reassurance seeking helps maintain OCD, anxiety, and depression (Abramowitz et al., 2002; Burns et al., 2006). What is new is the landscape. Today, reassurance is available instantly and endlessly through search engines, medical websites, social media, and artificial intelligence tools. Emerging research suggests that online reassurance seeking may be as prevalent as interpersonal reassurance seeking (Parsons & Alden, 2022). These digital reassurance traps present in a variety of forms, including:<\/p>\n Why do some individuals seek reassurance primarily from others in face-to-face contexts while others turn to the internet? Findings from one study suggest that individuals may be more likely to seek interpersonal reassurance when they desire emotional support, whereas online reassurance seeking is more likely when individuals feel ashamed or fear judgment from others (Parsons et al., 2025). In the same study, shame was reported more frequently among individuals with OCD. The perceived anonymity of the internet creates a compelling environment for seeking reassurance about our most distressing fears and the fears we feel ashamed to have.<\/p>\n Wait, hold on\u2026 shouldn\u2019t having access to all the information on the internet be empowering? After all, there\u2019s that famous saying, \u201cKnowledge is Power.\u201d Well I\u2019m not sure what Francis Bacon would say if he could scroll on TikTok, but in the age of the internet, more information does not always mean more power or knowledge. In fact, information overload seems to trigger excessive reassurance seeking online (Yang & Luo, 2024). Once digital algorithms detect health-related concerns, users may be exposed to increasingly frequent and targeted content, further amplifying health anxiety and driving additional reassurance seeking online (Zhang et al., 2024).<\/p>\n Despite these challenges, evidence-based treatments offer hope. Exposure and response prevention (ERP), the gold-standard treatment for OCD, helps individuals tolerate uncertainty and break free from compulsive behaviors. ERP therapists are prepared to respond to clients who compulsively seek reassurance while taking care to avoid reinforcing a client\u2019s anxiety and setting boundaries when appropriate. On the other hand, AI chatbots are available 24\/7 and will continue to reassure users when it would be clear to a skilled therapist that more reassurance is harmful. Some helpful activities I have encouraged clients to try include:<\/p>\n Clinicians working with youth should also attend to parental accommodations that inadvertently facilitate online reassurance seeking. Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) is an evidence-based, parent-focused intervention that emphasizes increasing supportive statements while reducing unhelpful accommodations. Setting reasonable limits on smartphone use while responding with empathy and confidence can help youth build resilience and independence (i.e. \u201cI know it\u2019s tough to be away from your phone and I know you got this!\u201d).<\/p>\n Finally, because shame plays a central role in digital reassurance traps, incorporating self-compassion practices may be beneficial. Compassion-focused exercises help individuals respond to their struggles with kindness rather than self-criticism, complementing ERP by fostering emotional resilience. I sometimes ask clients to imagine that a close friend or loved one is feeling ashamed because they are experiencing obsessions and are stuck in an OCD loop. Then, I invite them to write down how they would support this friend while paying special attention to how compassion feels in their body. By practicing compassion for others, we strengthen the same muscles in our brains that help us turn compassion inward.<\/p>\n If you are getting stuck in digital reassurance traps, you are not alone! Many of these technologies are brand new and we are learning how to integrate them into our lives in a healthy way. If you need help managing compulsive online habits, finding a therapist trained in ERP could be a useful step!<\/p>\n References<\/strong><\/p>\n Abramowitz, J. S., Schwartz, S. A., & Whiteside, S. P. (2002). A contemporary conceptual model of hypochondriasis. Mayo Clinic Proceedings, 77<\/em>(12), 1323\u20131330. https:\/\/doi.org\/10.4065\/77.12.1323<\/a><\/p>\n Burns, A. B., Brown, J. S., Plant, E. A., Sachs-Ericsson, N., & Joiner, T. E., Jr. (2006). On the specific depressotypic nature of excessive reassurance-seeking. Personality and Individual Differences, 40<\/em>(1), 135\u2013145. https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1016\/j.paid.2005.05.019<\/a><\/p>\n Parsons, C. A., & Alden, L. E. (2022). Online reassurance-seeking and relationships with obsessive-compulsive symptoms, shame, and fear of self. Journal of Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders, 33<\/em>, 100714. https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1016\/j.jocrd.2022.100714<\/a><\/p>\n Parsons, C. A., Kim, H. J., Singh, S., Lkhagva, T., Wang, J., & Alden, L. E. (2025). Covert or connected: Motivations for online and interpersonal reassurance-seeking in OCD. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 115<\/em>, 103057. https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1016\/j.janxdis.2025.103057<\/a><\/p>\n Yang, X., & Luo, X. (2024). Unpacking cyberchondria: The roles of online health information seeking, health information overload, and health misperceptions. Telematics and Informatics, 97<\/em>, 102225.<\/p>\n Zhang, X., Zheng, H., Zeng, Y., Zou, J., & Zhao, L. (2024). Exploring how health-related advertising interference contributes to the development of cyberchondria: A stressor\u2013strain\u2013outcome approach. BMC Public Health, 24<\/em>, 534.<\/p>\n\n
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