{"id":7047524,"date":"2026-08-25T16:27:34","date_gmt":"2026-08-25T16:27:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/uncategorized\/regret-is-an-unreliable-emotion\/"},"modified":"2026-08-25T16:27:34","modified_gmt":"2026-08-25T16:27:34","slug":"regret-is-an-unreliable-emotion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7047524","title":{"rendered":"Regret is an Unreliable Emotion"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"box-sizing:border-box;display:block;overflow:hidden;width:initial;height:initial;background:none;opacity:1;border:0;margin:0;padding:0;position:relative\"><span style=\"box-sizing:border-box;display:block;width:initial;height:initial;background:none;opacity:1;border:0;margin:0;padding:0;padding-top:58.77777777777777%\"\/><img alt=\"\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" decoding=\"async\" data-nimg=\"responsive\" style=\"position:absolute;top:0;left:0;bottom:0;right:0;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0;border:none;margin:auto;display:block;width:0;height:0;min-width:100%;max-width:100%;min-height:100%;max-height:100%\"\/><img alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-nimg=\"responsive\" style=\"position:absolute;top:0;left:0;bottom:0;right:0;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0;border:none;margin:auto;display:block;width:0;height:0;min-width:100%;max-width:100%;min-height:100%;max-height:100%\" sizes=\"100vw\" srcset=\"\/_next\/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fposts%2F2021%2F10%2Fkarim-manjra-6iM5GOht664-unsplash-1536x902-1.jpeg&amp;w=640&amp;q=75 640w, \/_next\/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fposts%2F2021%2F10%2Fkarim-manjra-6iM5GOht664-unsplash-1536x902-1.jpeg&amp;w=750&amp;q=75 750w, \/_next\/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fposts%2F2021%2F10%2Fkarim-manjra-6iM5GOht664-unsplash-1536x902-1.jpeg&amp;w=828&amp;q=75 828w, \/_next\/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fposts%2F2021%2F10%2Fkarim-manjra-6iM5GOht664-unsplash-1536x902-1.jpeg&amp;w=1080&amp;q=75 1080w, \/_next\/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fposts%2F2021%2F10%2Fkarim-manjra-6iM5GOht664-unsplash-1536x902-1.jpeg&amp;w=1200&amp;q=75 1200w, \/_next\/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fposts%2F2021%2F10%2Fkarim-manjra-6iM5GOht664-unsplash-1536x902-1.jpeg&amp;w=1920&amp;q=75 1920w, \/_next\/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fposts%2F2021%2F10%2Fkarim-manjra-6iM5GOht664-unsplash-1536x902-1.jpeg&amp;w=2048&amp;q=75 2048w, \/_next\/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fposts%2F2021%2F10%2Fkarim-manjra-6iM5GOht664-unsplash-1536x902-1.jpeg&amp;w=3840&amp;q=75 3840w\" src=\"https:\/\/chrisguillebeau.com\/_next\/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fposts%2F2021%2F10%2Fkarim-manjra-6iM5GOht664-unsplash-1536x902-1.jpeg&amp;w=3840&amp;q=75\"\/><\/span><\/p>\n<p>I have long believed that\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/chrisguillebeau.com\/the-three-conditions-for-making-ordinary-magic\/\">thinking about regret is a powerful motivator for action<\/a>. When you\u2019re feeling indecisive, trying to figure out if a particular step is a good one, consider how you\u2019ll feel if you\u00a0<em>don\u2019t<\/em>\u00a0take the step. Often this leads you to what seems like the right direction.<\/p>\n<p>But while mental models can be helpful, most of them also have limits. Lately I\u2019ve realized there\u2019s a flaw in the logic of focusing your attention on the avoidance of regrets. Simply put,\u00a0<strong>regret is an unreliable emotion<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Think about that for a moment\u2014what does it mean?<\/p>\n<p>It means, in short, that\u00a0<em>regret is both difficult to anticipate and even harder to characterize in retrospect<\/em>. If you feel certain about your choices in either direction\u2014either looking back or looking forward\u2014you may be basing your interpretations on selectively chosen information.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/applieddivinitystudies.com\/asymmetric\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">This post on asymmetric opportunities<\/a>\u00a0influenced my thinking on this topic. The author explains the argument in more context here:<\/p>\n<h4>\u201c<strong>You only experience regret when you later learn something that reveals a past mistake<\/strong>.<\/h4>\n<h4>If you exit a failing relationship, you\u2019ll never see how things might have gone, and so of course you\u2019ll never wish you had stayed. On the other hand, if you stay too long, you might find out it\u2019s a waste of time and wish you had left earlier.<\/h4>\n<h4><strong>Regret in these instances is purely a function of selection bias, and has little to do with which decision was actually better.<\/strong><\/h4>\n<h4>Similarly, a round of company layoffs that doesn\u2019t include you could pave the way for rapid promotions. If you leave, you\u2019ll think \u2018Thank god I got off that sinking ship!\u2019, and never learn about what could have been.\u201d<\/h4>\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n<p>Looking back on past decisions, we\u00a0<em>assume<\/em>\u00a0we have the benefit of hindsight \u2026 but how could we? We only have the benefit of what we\u2019ve discovered on one path. Maybe the other path branched out into an alternate universe, but if so, it\u2019s not one we have access to.<\/p>\n<p><strong>In other words, how often do we\u00a0<em>really<\/em>\u00a0know we made the right decision? The best answer is: rarely, if ever!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s always the road not taken, the choice left behind. If you feel satisfied with the choice you made, that\u2019s great\u2014but could you really say it\u2019s better than any other?<\/p>\n<p>Of course, in some cases I think it\u2019s a pretty safe bet to say we did the right thing, objectively speaking. My choice to start writing online and setting out to visit any country, for example\u2014that decision came about\u00a0when I started\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/chrisguillebeau.com\/feeling-stuck\/\">thinking seriously about regret<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>I can\u2019t imagine any alternate universe in which I\u00a0<em>thought<\/em>\u00a0about writing online but decided instead to get a job at a bank, or\u00a0<em>dreamed<\/em>\u00a0of seeing the world but decided instead to stay home.<\/p>\n<p>That one seems pretty clear-cut to me. Still, I suppose there\u2019s always a counterfactual that remains unknown, the limited information by which we are constrained. If I had died in an accident just as I began my quest, I might have spent my last few moments of life thinking,\u00a0<em>Hmmm, maybe this wasn\u2019t such a great idea after all.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Or maybe it\u2019s like\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.zenpencils.com\/comic\/130-sylvia-plath-the-fig-tree\/\">Sylvia Plath\u2019s classic metaphor of the fig tree<\/a>. In the story, the protagonist stands before an unfolding set of choices, literally branched out before her in the shape of a tree. Feeling a deep sense of overwhelm, she\u2019s unable to choose a single one.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"box-sizing:border-box;display:block;overflow:hidden;width:initial;height:initial;background:none;opacity:1;border:0;margin:0;padding:0;position:relative\"><span style=\"box-sizing:border-box;display:block;width:initial;height:initial;background:none;opacity:1;border:0;margin:0;padding:0;padding-top:65.44444444444444%\"\/><img alt=\"\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" decoding=\"async\" data-nimg=\"responsive\" style=\"position:absolute;top:0;left:0;bottom:0;right:0;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0;border:none;margin:auto;display:block;width:0;height:0;min-width:100%;max-width:100%;min-height:100%;max-height:100%\"\/><img alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-nimg=\"responsive\" style=\"position:absolute;top:0;left:0;bottom:0;right:0;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0;border:none;margin:auto;display:block;width:0;height:0;min-width:100%;max-width:100%;min-height:100%;max-height:100%\" sizes=\"100vw\" srcset=\"\/_next\/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fposts%2F2021%2F10%2Fsylvia-1536x1005-1.png&amp;w=640&amp;q=75 640w, \/_next\/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fposts%2F2021%2F10%2Fsylvia-1536x1005-1.png&amp;w=750&amp;q=75 750w, \/_next\/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fposts%2F2021%2F10%2Fsylvia-1536x1005-1.png&amp;w=828&amp;q=75 828w, \/_next\/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fposts%2F2021%2F10%2Fsylvia-1536x1005-1.png&amp;w=1080&amp;q=75 1080w, \/_next\/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fposts%2F2021%2F10%2Fsylvia-1536x1005-1.png&amp;w=1200&amp;q=75 1200w, \/_next\/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fposts%2F2021%2F10%2Fsylvia-1536x1005-1.png&amp;w=1920&amp;q=75 1920w, \/_next\/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fposts%2F2021%2F10%2Fsylvia-1536x1005-1.png&amp;w=2048&amp;q=75 2048w, \/_next\/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fposts%2F2021%2F10%2Fsylvia-1536x1005-1.png&amp;w=3840&amp;q=75 3840w\" src=\"https:\/\/chrisguillebeau.com\/_next\/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fposts%2F2021%2F10%2Fsylvia-1536x1005-1.png&amp;w=3840&amp;q=75\"\/><\/span><\/p>\n<p>The moral of the story is:\u00a0<em>you just have to choose<\/em>. If, in the end, you look back and think \u201cI\u2019m so glad I made that choice,\u201d perhaps this is merely positive self-talk. But perhaps it also doesn\u2019t matter. Since you\u2019ll never know for certain one way or another, you might as well choose to be happy with where you ended up.<\/p>\n<p>Regret, meanwhile, is an emotion hindered by bias\u2014sometimes helpful for making a decision to move forward, but rarely definitive in our interpretation of the ideal life.<\/p>\n<p>###<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have long believed that\u00a0thinking about regret is a powerful motivator for action. When you\u2019re feeling indecisive, trying to figure out if a particular step is a good one, consider how you\u2019ll feel if you\u00a0don\u2019t\u00a0take the step. Often this leads you to what seems like the right direction. But while mental models can be helpful, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7047525,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[8562,15185,42014],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-7047524","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-emotion","tag-regret","tag-unreliable"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Regret is an Unreliable Emotion - Som2ny Network<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7047524\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Regret is an Unreliable Emotion - Som2ny Network\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I have long believed that\u00a0thinking about regret is a powerful motivator for action. When you\u2019re feeling indecisive, trying to figure out if a particular step is a good one, consider how you\u2019ll feel if you\u00a0don\u2019t\u00a0take the step. Often this leads you to what seems like the right direction. 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When you\u2019re feeling indecisive, trying to figure out if a particular step is a good one, consider how you\u2019ll feel if you\u00a0don\u2019t\u00a0take the step. Often this leads you to what seems like the right direction. 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