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<\/div>\n<\/p>\n One night after my kids were in bed, I came across a quote from a doctor and author who specializes in childhood development and trauma, and this one simple sentence hit me right in the gut:<\/p>\n \u201cLove felt by the parent does not automatically translate into love experienced by the child.\u201d<\/p>\n Dr. Gabor Mat\u00e9<\/cite><\/p><\/blockquote>\n In other words, even though I love my children with every fiber of my being, they won\u2019t feel that love unless<\/strong> I intentionally show<\/em> them.<\/p>\n At first, I\u2019d scoffed. Of course I\u2019d shown that I love them<\/em>. Then replaying our day together in my head, I hunted for examples to reassure myself.<\/p>\n But the memories that came back to me told a different<\/strong> story:<\/p>\n Sure, I\u2019d delivered a quick good morning and good night hug and said \u201cI love you\u201d to all four kids. But I couldn\u2019t recall a single moment where I stopped and truly<\/em> showed my children that I love them unconditionally and joyfully.<\/p>\n Bonus:<\/strong>\u00a0As a bonus for joining my weekly newsletter,\u00a0get a free cheat sheet<\/a>\u00a0of 75 positive phrases to show your child you love them.<\/p>\n\n Research shows that children who grow up feeling loved and accepted by their parents tend to have a healthier self-esteem, fewer behavior problems, and better academic performance. Not only that, children who feel loved grow into adults who report higher life satisfaction and happiness, experience greater success, and have better physical health.<\/p>\n The science is clear<\/strong>: Children need unconditional love from their parents. Every child needs at least one person in their life who makes them feel absolutely loved\u2014and they need to know that nothing they do will make that love go away.<\/p>\n As parents, instinctually we already know how important it is to show love for our children. We don\u2019t need a scientific study to tell us that.<\/p>\n And yet, it\u2019s easy<\/strong> to get wrapped up in the chaos of daily parenting life and forget to make space for intentional, meaningful moments where you show that you love your children.<\/p>\n Even if you do have a loving ritual like a good morning hug or a good night cuddle, sometimes we can get busy or distracted and go through the motions instead of focusing on connecting with our child in the moment. While some connection is always better than nothing, those rushed moments may not be truly filling your child\u2019s tank of unconditional love.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n If you want your child to feel secure in your love for them, the best way to do that is by showing love for your child in small, simple ways.<\/p>\n Kids don\u2019t need grand gestures or physical presents to feel your love for them. All they need are small, everyday moments where through our words and actions, we show them they are loved and lovable.<\/p>\n Below, I compiled a list of all the most heartfelt and simple<\/em> ways to love your child in everyday life. But we certainly<\/strong> don\u2019t need more heaped onto our already overflowing parenting plates. No more to-do\u2019s, no more chores, and definitely no more guilt.<\/p>\n And so I\u2019m also sharing a practical fix to help you make space for these small everyday moments of love and connection, based on the research of behavior change.<\/p>\n When you want to make a change amidst the hustle and bustle of parenting life, you need a visual cue<\/em>. Something to serve as a gentle<\/strong> reminder to switch out of survival mode once or twice a day and fill your child\u2019s love tank.<\/p>\n Because when you\u2019re trying to stick to a habit, research shows that a visual cue can remind you of your intention when you\u2019re most likely to forget it.<\/p>\n For example:<\/p>\n For my visual cue, I created these\u00a0Family Connection Cards<\/a>, based on the science of what actually works when you need to connect with your child and show that you love them unconditionally. These cards remove the mental burden of figuring out\u00a0how<\/em>\u00a0to connect with your child so you can just focus on nurturing your bond with your child. At any point during your day, you can pick a card to get a quick and simple idea for connecting.<\/p>\n And in just\u00a010 minutes<\/strong>\u00a0a day, these powerful cards will make your child feel absolutely loved and stop the power struggles caused by disconnection.<\/p>\n You don\u2019t always have time to drop everything and spend a whole afternoon connecting with your child, so the list below is organized by the amount of time each idea might take. When you\u2019re busy, pick from the 10 Minutes or Less<\/em> section. When you can afford to hit the pause button on your never-ending to-do list for a bit longer, pick from the other sections.<\/p>\n But even if<\/strong> all you can manage is one<\/em> quick item from this list, know that you will be giving your child the gift of feeling loved and lovable.<\/p>\n\n When you\u2019re busy and short on time, here are the best ways to show your child you love them.<\/p>\n Your child loves hearing these three magic words from you. But if you\u2019ve been saying \u201cI love you\u201d on autopilot, you can mix up the routine with 50 cute ways to say \u201cI love you\u201d to your child<\/a> so they feel secure in your love.<\/p>\n Even older kids and teenagers need physical affection! Make sure the hug lasts six seconds or more so you nurture your bond with your child, and challenge yourself to be the last one to let go of the hug. Here\u2019s why hugging your child<\/a> like that is important.<\/p>\n If your child isn\u2019t used to you dishing out impromptu hugs, try a high-five or fist bump instead and work up to hugs. Or If you want to surprise and delight your child at the same time, try a new kind of hug: 21 Sweet and Silly Ways to Hug Your Child So They Feel Absolutely Loved<\/a>.<\/p>\n If your child starts a conversation with you, stop what you\u2019re doing and get down to eye level with them to show they\u2019ve got your full attention. As parents, we\u2019re often already busy when our kids approach us\u2014loading the dishwasher, paying bills, checking email on your phone\u2014so giving your child your full and undivided attention for a few moments is powerful.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s a mental image that helps me: When my youngest comes up to get my attention, I imagine I\u2019m hitting a pause button in my brain, then crouch down to his level so I\u2019m looking him in the eye while he talks.<\/p>\n Forget \u201cHow was your day?\u201d because it typically just leads to one-word answers or shrugs. Instead, ask one of these powerful questions for kids<\/a>, and you\u2019ll make your child feel known, heard, and understood.<\/p>\n Your child is never too young and never too old\u2014read to them. Not only will they love it, reading to your child<\/a> is one of the most powerful steps you can take to raise smart, kind kids.<\/p>\n Try reading at bedtime, while they eat breakfast or lunch, or as a way to connect when they get home from school. For older kids, you might take turns reading aloud from the same book, or try another one of these tips for reading aloud to older kids<\/a>.<\/p>\n If you want to read a sweet book that makes your child feel loved, these children\u2019s books about love<\/a> would be the perfect fit. And if your child asks for one more story, say \u201cyes\u201d to show them you love spending time with them.<\/p>\n The first time you see your child in the morning, stop what you\u2019re doing and give them a heartfelt \u201cgood morning\u201d along with a hug, then ask them what their plans are for the day. Also, greet them with your full attention when they get home from school or you pick them up, or when you get home from work or running errands.<\/p>\n For every greeting, try to physically connect with your child as well, whether with a hug, a shoulder rub, or simply moving a strand of hair out of their face. Research shows that physical touch is important to a child\u2019s wellbeing, even well beyond infancy. Warm, affectionate physical contact\u2014like a hug, rubbing your child\u2019s back, or holding hands\u2014increases oxytocin, which is a hormone in the body that promotes bonding in a relationship and facilitates feelings of trust between humans. And when you connect with your child through positive physical touch, they\u2019ll be less likely to experience depression as an adult.<\/p>\n Say one of these 75 positive phrases for kids<\/a> to make your child feel loved. Bonus points if you get their attention by saying their name first and make eye contact while you say the phrase. (Don\u2019t forget to grab your free printable of these phrases at the end of this article!)<\/p>\n Modeling an appropriate apology teaches your child how to be a kind, thoughtful human. For example, if you lost your temper and raised your voice, tell your child you\u2019re sorry and that you\u2019ll try to do better next time.<\/p>\n Your apology shows your child you care about making things right, plus you\u2019ll teach them one of the most basic lessons of life\u2014how to take responsibility for your own behavior.<\/p>\n On cold mornings, put your child\u2019s jacket in the clothes dryer for a few minutes to get it nice and toasty before they have to brave the cold. If your child walks to school in cold weather, you can also get hand warmers<\/a> for them to keep in their pockets on the coldest days.<\/p>\n As an alternative, you can warm up their towel or pajamas in the dryer while they\u2019re in the shower or bath.<\/p>\n Tell your child you\u2019re the Kiss Monster (don\u2019t forget to roar!) and deliver as many kisses as you can until you both collapse into giggles. You can kiss the top of their head, their shoulder, their elbows\u2014anything to get them laughing. (Warning:<\/strong> If at any point your child says \u201cstop\u201d or \u201cno,\u201d honor their wishes so that you\u2019re teaching them healthy lessons about body autonomy.)<\/p>\n You can put a slip of paper in your child\u2019s school lunchbox, a Post-It note on the bathroom mirror or their nightstand, a card in the toy box, and so on. If you\u2019re not sure what to write: Tell a joke, write down what you admire about them, or just say \u201cI love you.\u201d For kids who aren\u2019t reading yet, you can leave a drawing instead of a written note.<\/p>\n Or if you have a little extra time, try writing a poem about your child. My oldest daughter had a project in fourth grade where parents were encouraged to write a poem about their kids. I was nervous to write a poem since that\u2019s not in my wheelhouse, but when I read the finished poem aloud to my daughter, she beamed<\/em>.<\/p>\n As an alternative, if you have magnetic poetry<\/a>\u2020<\/sup>, you can leave a sweet message on the fridge for your child to discover.<\/p>\n\n
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Here\u2019s Why This Matters<\/h2>\n
![\"When](\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/love-your-child-mom-daughter-1024x683.webp\"\/)
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<\/figure>\nBut Here\u2019s the Problem<\/h2>\n
What\u2019s a Busy Parent to Do?<\/h2>\n
How to Love Your Child, Even When You\u2019re Short on Time<\/h2>\n
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101 Simple Ways to Love Your Child Every Day<\/h2>\n
10 Minutes or Less: Quick But Powerful<\/h3>\n
1. Say \u201cI love you,\u201d but mix it up.<\/h4>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
2. Give them a hug that lasts.<\/h4>\n
3. When they talk, get low.<\/h4>\n
4. Ask a meaningful question.<\/h4>\n
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5. Cuddle up with a book together.<\/h4>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
6. Greet with your whole heart.<\/h4>\n
7. Go beyond \u201cI love you.\u201d<\/h4>\n
8. Apologize.<\/h4>\n
9. Warm their coat.<\/h4>\n
10. Smother them in kisses.<\/h4>\n
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11. Leave a surprise note.<\/h4>\n