{"id":7045043,"date":"2026-08-23T15:44:58","date_gmt":"2026-08-23T15:44:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/business\/investing\/are-you-okay-2\/"},"modified":"2026-08-23T15:44:58","modified_gmt":"2026-08-23T15:44:58","slug":"are-you-okay-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7045043","title":{"rendered":"Are you okay?"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t make me stop this car!\u201d I roared at the kids in the back. And then, for possibly the first time ever, I actually followed through.<\/p>\n

I stopped the car. The kids froze.<\/p>\n

I took a long breath, looked out the window, and noticed a half-boarded-up pizza joint.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet’s get some pizza\u201d, I said.<\/p>\n

Inside, it was empty. No phones ringing. No music. Just a tired woman behind the counter with tattooed-on eyebrows, staring straight through me.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne family-sized Margherita, please.”<\/p>\n

We sat at faux-wood tables while I flicked through a Woman\u2019s Day <\/em>magazine:<\/p>\n

From October 1987.<\/p>\n

The headlines were perfect:<\/p>\n

\u201cTake 2 inches off your hips in 2 weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhich makeup colours make you prettier?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAIDS HYSTERIA: How much fear makes sense?\u201d<\/p>\n

Every second page was an ad for ciggies, or pictures of women in leotards smoking Alpine menthols.<\/p>\n

The magazine smelled like the vinyl backseat of our old Ford Falcon. Warm. Faded. Casually sexist.<\/p>\n

This week, an ANU study found nearly three in five Australians believe that life was better 50 years ago \u2026 and I was holding their evidence.<\/p>\n

Okay, so let\u2019s not pretend 1987 was all apricot chicken. HIV\/AIDS was coming for everyone. The devil had slipped secret messages into AC\/DC songs (if you played them backwards), and kids risked getting square eyes watching too much Scott and Charlene (ask your parents).<\/p>\n

Yet flicking through those musty pages I was struck that there was nothing on side hustles, investment properties, or the hand-wringing of how your kids will ever afford a home.<\/p>\n

Makes sense.<\/p>\n

Back then a house cost about three times the average income. A family home was something you worked towards, and paid off \u2013 then set your sights on a shiny new Commodore.<\/p>\n

Yet just as that magazine was hitting the printing presses \u2026 everything changed.<\/p>\n

The share market crashed. <\/p>\n

Interest rates rocketed to 17%. The economy did the Locomotion. Finance hit the front pages, and never left.<\/p>\n

And then? Well, then came the biggest borrowing binge in history \u2026 and it\u2019s still going strong 40 years on.<\/p>\n

Houses now cost a staggering ten<\/em> times the average income.<\/p>\n

Every year we borrow more, we stress more, and we lie awake wondering how our kids will ever afford something as basic as a roof over their heads.<\/p>\n

On paper we\u2019re wealthier. But we\u2019ve never been in more debt, or more stressed and depressed.<\/p>\n

The pizza came. It was horrific. The kids looked at me. I looked at them, and said: \u201cYou get what you get and you don\u2019t get upset.\u201d<\/p>\n

They had no choice but to eat what they were served. That\u2019s how life works!<\/p>\n

Tread Your Own Path!<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Your Questions & Answers<\/h4>\n
    \n
  • \n

    My Husband\u2019s $100,000 Gambling Debts<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  • \n

    Is HESTA Super Going Broke?<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  • \n

    Welfare Check: Are You Okay, Barefoot? <\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

     <\/p>\n

    My Husband\u2019s $100,000 Gambling Debts<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Hi Scott,<\/em><\/p>\n

    Over the last four years I have paid nearly $100,000 dollars of my husband\u2019s gambling debts. He still has $55,000 dollars to pay on a personal loan, and he says he needs $6,000 immediately to tide him over. He refuses to show me evidence of his transactions \u2013 I suspect he owes more than he is telling me. My salary goes into the offset account but he keeps his account separate.  If I don\u2019t pay his debts, he stops paying for groceries and stops contributing to the mortgage. I turn 50 this year. I am afraid for my emotional and financial wellbeing, and for that of our son.  However, I don\u2019t have the family or social support to separate immediately. I am trying to get my head around this situation without losing myself.  I need to protect myself and my son financially while I work out what to do. I would really appreciate your help.<\/em><\/p>\n

    Sally<\/em><\/p>\n

    \n

    Hi Sally,<\/p>\n

    You must be absolutely exhausted.<\/p>\n

    Here\u2019s the brutal truth: this isn\u2019t over. It won\u2019t stop until he puts his hand up and gets help. And even then it\u2019s a long, hard road back through the financial wreckage this has caused.<\/p>\n

    You are dealing with a disease that is designed to take every cent it can get its hands on. I see the damage it causes every day.<\/p>\n

    My advice?<\/p>\n

    It\u2019s time to be ruthless. For your son.<\/p>\n

    Do not pay another dollar towards your husband\u2019s gambling debts.
    Do not give him any money. Pay the bills yourself.<\/p>\n

    As long as you keep covering for him, this will continue.<\/p>\n

    Then, make two appointments. First, call a financial counsellor (National Debt Helpline: 1800 007 007) and get a plan in place to protect yourself. Second, see a family lawyer so you can understand your options.<\/p>\n

    Hope is not a strategy. You\u2019ve carried this for four years. That has to stop. And it starts by getting the right people around you. Reach out to me this week, and I\u2019ll help.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Is HESTA Super Going Broke?<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Hi Scott,<\/em><\/p>\n

    I\u2019m so mad at my super fund, HESTA, right now. I\u2019m 44 and I\u2019ve been with them for years. I have $250k with them, but I\u2019m ready to jump ship after recent reports that their administrator (Grow Inc) has significant debt. Not to mention the argy-bargy HESTA put a lot of members through when they switched to said administrator last year.<\/em><\/p>\n

    I have no trust in their ability to safeguard and invest my super anymore. But I also found out that Vanguard Super also uses the same administrator, so I\u2019m nervous about moving my funds just to land in the same pot of trouble.  Am I being too hasty? Or has HESTA bollocksed it up enough to warrant a move?<\/em><\/p>\n

    Cheers,<\/em><\/p>\n

    Sash<\/em><\/p>\n

    \n

    Hi Sash,<\/p>\n

    Your money in HESTA is safe.<\/p>\n

    However, I\u2019ll leave it to you to decide whether you want to put up with their half-arsed service (and why Vanguard recently decided to YOLO with Grow).<\/p>\n

    Could you imagine if CommBank came out and said:<\/p>\n

    \u201cIn an effort to save us a bit of dough, we outsourced our entire customer administration process to a dinky little outfit \u2026 and it appears they\u2019ve stuffed things up. So you won\u2019t be able to access your bank accounts for the next seven weeks. Starting now.\u201d<\/p>\n

    They\u2019d be taco meat by Tuesday.<\/p>\n

    Well, that\u2019s effectively what HESTA said (and did) last year!<\/p>\n

    My view?<\/p>\n

    Super funds have got their outsourcing completely arsed about:<\/p>\n

    They spend thousands<\/em> of millions<\/em> each year flying around the world first class trying (and failing) to pick winning investments. (This despite the fact that the evidence is unequivocal: they should outsource their investment decisions to a low-cost index, and return those thousands of millions of dollars to our accounts).<\/p>\n

    Yet they have outsourced the very thing that their customers need: reliable, safe and seamless access to their money! This explains why rolling over your super fund is harder than getting a council permit to build a shed.<\/p>\n

    It\u2019s a total disgrace.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Welfare Check: Are You Okay, Barefoot? <\/strong><\/p>\n

    Hey Scott, just wanted to check in. Haven’t seen any newsletters or articles in the Herald Sun lately. RUOK? Missing your wise words. <\/em><\/p>\n

    Deb <\/em><\/p>\n

    \n

    Hi Deb, <\/p>\n

    Thank you for checking in … and to the many readers who wrote asking the same thing. <\/p>\n

    I can confirm I am okay!<\/p>\n

    I’ve been writing this column for 23 years. When my first son was born, I asked my editors if I could take school holidays off to spend time with him. They reluctantly said yes. <\/p>\n

    Twelve years on, I’m still holding that boundary. In fact, it’s even more important to me today. After all, I only have six more years with him at home. <\/p>\n

    That’s wealth to me.<\/p>\n

    Thank you for reading.<\/p>\n

    Scott.<\/em><\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    \u201cDon\u2019t make me stop this car!\u201d I roared at the kids in the back. And then, for possibly the first time ever, I actually followed through. I stopped the car. The kids froze. I took a long breath, looked out the window, and noticed a half-boarded-up pizza joint. \u201cLet’s get some pizza\u201d, I said. 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