I can disappoint someone and still have a clear conscience.<\/p>\n
That feels like a miracle to say out loud.\u00a0<\/p>\n
For most of my life, I believed someone else\u2019s disappointment was mine to carry. If someone was unhappy with me, I carried it. If I didn\u2019t measure up to someone\u2019s expectations, that was mine to hold. If someone said, \u201cI\u2019m disappointed in you,\u201d I felt the weight of it, and it crushed me.\u00a0<\/p>\n
And so, for decades, my effort to avoid those words drove me to bend over backwards, accommodate, sacrifice, and stretch myself beyond reasonable limits, even at the cost of my health and what mattered most.<\/p>\n
It has taken me years\u2014one uncomfortable, self-honoring decision at a time\u2014to realize something I never imagined I would believe.<\/p>\n
I can have a clear conscience and still disappoint someone.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n I didn\u2019t know it then, but creating a page-a-day calendar would become one of the greatest tests of whether I truly believed what I\u2019d been writing and trying to live all these years.\u00a0<\/p>\n I\u2019ve been dreaming about this project for a long time. But not every dream comes to life the moment we\u2019re ready for it. Sometimes there are pieces beyond our control that must come together first. In the fall of 2025, they finally did.<\/p>\n What people might not realize when they flip to each daily quote is how each one was painstakingly chosen. I went back through my book\u00a0Only Love Today<\/a>,<\/em>\u00a0looking for words that could meet someone in a hard Tuesday, a lonely Thursday, or a heartbreaking Sunday. I searched for words that offered a reset on days that pulled them away from what mattered most.<\/p>\n As I revisited those words, I realized the truths I had been practicing for years had become my first response in difficult moments.<\/p>\n Just days before the final submission deadline, I got an urgent call from my daughter Natalie. My ultra independent, problem-solving firstborn daughter was scared. Something alarming was happening, and she needed a hand to hold. I didn\u2019t even hesitate. I immediately closed my laptop, tossed three days\u2019 worth of clothes into a bag, six Coke Zeros in a cooler, and started driving.\u00a0<\/p>\n I realized I might miss the publisher\u2019s deadline, but I wouldn\u2019t miss the most important thing. And I wouldn\u2019t have to carry the weight of regret. Years earlier, I\u2019d made a different choice, and I\u2019d promised myself I would never again let my work come before the people I loved.<\/p>\n\n A few weeks after the pre-order link<\/a> had become available this spring, I received an email with the dreaded words from the publisher:\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cSales are low.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n At first, my default response kicked in:<\/p>\n You\u2019ve disappointed them. I could feel the protective part of me reaching for an old story that had spent years confusing achievement and approval with love and acceptance. But this time, I gently set that story back down because I knew love wasn\u2019t something success could earn or failure could take away.<\/p>\n I actually started laughing.<\/p>\n \u201cRachel, it\u2019s May 2026! And this is a 2027 calendar! Give yourself some time. Trust the work. They haven\u2019t seen it yet.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n I found myself walking over to the basement ping pong table where I\u2019d spent hours that fall choosing and shaping each entry. I sat down.<\/p>\n And that\u2019s when I heard the kindest, most nurturing voice inside me whisper:<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t you dare forget the endless hours you sat here pouring your heart into this project.<\/strong><\/p>\n Don\u2019t you dare forget the fifteen years it took to live these words before you ever placed them in a calendar.<\/strong><\/p>\n Don\u2019t you dare let one sales report become the loudest voice in the room.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n I realized I could have a clear conscience and still disappoint someone.<\/p>\n Then, earlier this month, the first box of calendars finally arrived.<\/p>\n There was no fancy unboxing ceremony videoed and posted to social media. It was just me and my 14-year-old, four-legged companion, Banjo, in the comfort of my kitchen where I could cry freely and take it all in.\u00a0<\/p>\n When Scott got home, I handed him the calendar.<\/p>\n After reading the introduction, he looked up with unmistakable pride and asked, \u201cDid you put something special for my birthday?\u201d<\/p>\n On their birthdays, I\u2019d chosen words that made me think of each member of my family. I had no idea anyone would even think to ask!<\/p>\n Scott flipped to December 2nd, read the first line, smiled, and said,<\/p>\n \u201cYep. That\u2019s me.\u201d<\/p>\n Watching Scott find himself in those pages confirmed who should receive the very first calendar.\u00a0It belonged to the child who was the reason the words\u00a0Only Love Today<\/em>\u00a0existed in the first place.<\/p>\n A few days later, I drove 235 miles to see Natalie, the young woman who had unknowingly taught me that love begins with the way we speak to ourselves.<\/p>\n We went out for sushi, came home, changed into our pajamas, and curled up on the couch together. I told her I had a surprise.<\/p>\n Natalie wrapped herself in a blanket like she always does and waited while I reached into my bag.<\/p>\n Her face broke into the biggest smile when she saw what it was.<\/p>\n I sat quietly beside her as she read the introduction, the story of us, and the moment my healing began.<\/p>\n \u201cI remember,\u201d she whispered when she reached the part about the rice spilling onto the floor. She brushed away a tear from the corner of her eye.<\/p>\n Then she turned to January.<\/p>\n She read the first entry and smiled.<\/p>\n Then another.<\/p>\n And another.<\/p>\n \u201cI like this,\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n Natalie kept turning pages until she\u2019d read all of January.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m going to start using the calendar now,\u201d she said. Then she looked down at the cover and laughed. \u201cBut I don\u2019t want to rip off the pages. It\u2019s too beautiful.\u201d<\/p>\n I put my arms around her and closed my eyes, as if I could memorize the moment. Not often do we feel all is right with the world, but for that moment, it was.\u00a0<\/p>\n Fifteen years ago, those words began as something I desperately needed.<\/p>\n Today, I watched the little girl who inspired them begin making them her own.<\/p>\n And in that moment, I realized the greatest success of this calendar will never be how many copies it sells.\u00a0 It will be the number of people who set down a burden they were never meant to carry.<\/p>\n Because every unnecessary burden becomes another distraction from the life waiting to be lived today.<\/strong><\/p>\n Things like: shame, regret, the pressure to prove ourselves, and the fear of letting other people down. Those things fill our hands and our minds until there is little room left for what matters most.<\/p>\n That\u2019s what these words have done for me. They helped me discover that my hands were never meant to hold everyone else\u2019s expectations.<\/p>\n They were meant to hold the people I love.<\/p>\n They were meant to create work I believe in.<\/p>\n They were meant to receive the joy that arrives when my conscience is clear, even if someone else wishes I had chosen differently.<\/p>\n And perhaps that\u2019s what freedom looks like.<\/p>\n Finding the courage to set down what was never ours to carry, so our hands are finally free for what is.<\/p>\n My hand in yours, \ud83d\udcc5 If you\u2019d like one\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n Calendars begin shipping this month, and I wanted to make sure my Hands Free Mama readers knew this dream had finally become real: a collection of the words we\u2019ve been returning to for years, now in a form you can hold in your hands.<\/p>\n Creating it became far more than a dream project. It reminded me that the words we choose to keep close have the power to change the way we live.<\/p>\n If you\u2019d like a daily companion for the year ahead, or you\u2019re thinking of giving one to someone who could use a little more compassion and a little less pressure, you can pre-order the calendar\u00a0through Bookshop<\/a>,\u00a0Amazon<\/a>,\u00a0Walmart<\/a>,\u00a0Books-a-Million<\/a>,\u00a0BulkBookStore<\/a>, as well as retailers in\u00a0Canada<\/a>\u00a0and in the\u00a0UK<\/a>. You can also order it through your favorite local bookstore.<\/p>\n Print quantities were set early, so ordering now is the best way to ensure you receive a calendar, especially if you\u2019re hoping to have extras to give as gifts.<\/p>\n Thank you for believing in my work and helping these words find their way into more hands, homes, and hearts. I am eternally grateful for your presence along this journey.<\/p>\n \n<\/div>\n
They shouldn\u2019t have taken a chance on you.
You blew it.<\/em><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/IMG_2156-scaled.jpeg)
Rachel\u00a0<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/IMG_2162-1-scaled.jpg)
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/40884110-9061-4D4E-8500-9B616D791748OLT-3D-box.jpeg)