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Have you ever looked at someone and thought, \u201cThey figured it out\u201d?<\/p>\n
Maybe they have a good career, a nice house, a happy family, or a large group of friends. They always seem to be traveling, eating at nice restaurants, and doing interesting things.<\/p>\n
You see a small part of their life. And your mind fills in the rest.<\/p>\n
You assume they wake up happy and never ever have any problems.<\/p>\n
In the meantime, you see everything<\/em> about your own life. You feel all the ups and downs.<\/p>\n If you make comparisons like that, just understand it\u2019s not fair.<\/p>\n You\u2019re comparing your actual life to someone else\u2019s portrayed<\/em> life.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I don\u2019t think so\u2026 at all<\/em>.<\/p>\n People are great actors.<\/p>\n Just look at yourself. Be honest. Are you an open book at all times?<\/p>\n We as humans have a tendency to hide our emotions. We prefer not to talk about everything that we\u2019re going through.<\/p>\n That\u2019s the default for many. That\u2019s why so many people go to therapy just to learn to open up. It\u2019s not easy.<\/p>\n So why do you think that what you see from others is real?<\/p>\n Some people who look happy are going through difficult things. And some people who look serious or quiet are perfectly content.<\/p>\n We forget that happiness is an emotion. It comes and goes.<\/p>\n You might feel good in the morning, irritated in the afternoon, and relaxed again by dinner. So which version is the real you?<\/p>\n All of them.<\/p>\n No one walks around feeling happy all day. Life has both pleasant and unpleasant experiences<\/a>. A good life doesn\u2019t remove sadness, boredom, stress, or uncertainty.<\/p>\n You can have a great family and still feel tired. You can love your work and have a terrible week. You can be grateful for your life and still want to change something.<\/p>\n These things exist at the same time.<\/p>\n But when we look at others, we simplify their lives. We turn them into characters:<\/p>\n Then we compare that character to our reality.<\/p>\n Of course you feel worse when you do that. The other person isn\u2019t even real anymore. You\u2019re comparing yourself to a story.<\/p>\n Theodore Roosevelt said it best:<\/p>\n \u201cComparison is the thief of joy.\u201d<\/p>\n You see a couple having fun on vacation and think, \u201cMy relationship isn\u2019t exciting enough.\u201d<\/p>\n You see friends having dinner and think, \u201cEveryone has a better social life than I do.\u201d<\/p>\n From there, your mind starts creating imaginary pressure<\/a>:<\/p>\n Says who?<\/p>\n There\u2019s probably no actual problem at that moment. You simply saw another person living differently, and suddenly your own life felt insufficient.<\/p>\n I must admit, the mind is very good at creating problems that didn\u2019t exist five minutes earlier.<\/p>\nCan you tell when someone is happy?<\/h2>\n
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Why does their happiness make you feel worse?<\/h2>\n
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