{"id":7040905,"date":"2026-08-17T15:18:58","date_gmt":"2026-08-17T15:18:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/uncategorized\/8-big-lessons-from-my-46th-year-of-life\/"},"modified":"2026-08-17T15:18:58","modified_gmt":"2026-08-17T15:18:58","slug":"8-big-lessons-from-my-46th-year-of-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7040905","title":{"rendered":"8 Big Lessons from My 46th Year of Life"},"content":{"rendered":"


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Forty-six years in the books as of this week. Like most years, it\u2019s been full of highs and lows, with so much to be grateful for from both.<\/p>\n

As I sit here in my quiet house, kids at school, rain falling steadily outside, I reflect on the last 365 days and ask myself, \u201cWhat have I learned? Where have I grown?\u201d<\/p>\n

After all, I\u2019m not just passing time here. I want to be a good student, a good steward of the life I\u2019ve been given. I want to be transformed and shaped for good by the events and experiences of my life. But it\u2019s easy to celebrate a birthday without truly reflecting on what the last year has taught.<\/p>\n

One of the gifts of being a writer is that, if you write regularly, you have a record of your time and your growth along the way. As I look back at this past year, here are the lessons that stand out to me.<\/p>\n

1. Stewardship Is Better than Ownership<\/h2>\n

This year, I made a real shift\u2014from thinking about my life as something I owned, where I needed to take total ownership and control all the necessary variables to guarantee an outcome, to a posture of faithfulness. That posture begins with understanding myself rightly: as a creature, not a creator.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t own the outcomes. I don\u2019t own my business. I don\u2019t own my family. I don\u2019t own myself. I don\u2019t control the uncontrollables. I have influence, to be sure. I have agency, to be sure. But I exercise those things with an appropriate level of humility and, at the same time, responsibility. I take diligent action to honor God and work for his glory, but ultimately I entrust the outcomes to him.<\/p>\n

For me, this has been a lesson in faith and a path away from anxiety. And part of what I\u2019ve learned is that self-reliance\u2014which I had always thought of as a virtue\u2014is often, as my dad told me earlier this year<\/a>, just practical atheism in disguise.<\/p>\n

I had been living as though there were no God. As though there were not someone holding it all together, someone ordering my steps, someone working all things together for good. And so I was shouldering and carrying something that wasn\u2019t mine to carry. The level of stress and burden I had taken on was unnecessary.<\/p>\n

2. Slow Is the New Fast<\/h2>\n

This year I discovered the joy and the relief of going slow.<\/p>\n

Some of it was forced on me. I\u2019ve been in a season of my body changing in midlife, of medical emergencies and challenges with my kids and extended family, all creating real limits on my \u201ctop speed.\u201d Even though the process hasn\u2019t been enjoyable or chosen, downshifting to a slower speed has been a gift.<\/p>\n

Even beyond the forced slowing down, things like gardening and beekeeping and birdwatching and walking have invited me to focus my attention as I slow my body, finding joy in it, being physically present and doing fewer things, doing them slowly, and doing them well.<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"strawberries\"
You can\u2019t rush perfection.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

This has shown up in our business, too. For the last several months I\u2019ve been working on a brand evolution document\u2014a kind of foundations manifesto for Full Focus that we need for our future. I\u2019ve been thinking deeply about it for more than a year, but rather than trying to race through it and get it done, I\u2019ve been letting it take the time it needs to take. And I think I was able to do that because I\u2019d practiced going slowly elsewhere.<\/p>\n

What I\u2019ve realized is that some things just can\u2019t be rushed<\/a>. In fact, all the important things can\u2019t be rushed. All the best things in life require downshifting to enjoy or understand or fully inhabit. So I\u2019ve discovered a gear in myself that I really never had before, and that\u2019s slow.<\/p>\n

I walk slowly now. When I\u2019m out on a walk with someone else, I\u2019m always having to warn the person I\u2019m walking with\u2014\u201cOh, I walk really slowly\u201d\u2014which is kind of embarrassing. But it\u2019s also so much more enjoyable for us both. They seem relieved that we aren\u2019t \u201cexercising\u201d or trying to get anywhere in particular. Just taking our time.<\/p>\n

Slow makes it possible to notice things around me and take things in through my senses. The hallmark of a sympathetic nervous system is tunnel vision; this is the opposite of that. And I\u2019m loving that pace in my life.<\/p>\n

3. Stop Waiting for the Storm to Pass<\/h2>\n

My life has been characterized by storms for many years. Health challenges in my 20s. The hard healing journey of bringing our kids home from Uganda in my 30s. My body and the world dramatically changed in my 40s, along with our business, and countless medical challenges in my family and beyond.<\/p>\n

What I\u2019ve realized and finally accepted\u2014at least consciously for the first time this year\u2014is that this is probably not going to stop. That would have been a terrifying admission before now, like I was inviting trouble. But that\u2019s not how I see it anymore.<\/p>\n

Just two weeks ago I was reminded of this when my mother-in-law fell critically ill and Joel and I were plunged overnight into the complexity and demands of the sandwich generation. He is now spending his days in the hospital with her, trying to navigate hard decisions and the path forward, while I\u2019m keeping things going at home and at the business. The truth is, there\u2019s just always going to be something.<\/p>\n

If we tell ourselves I\u2019m just waiting until . . . I\u2019m just waiting until<\/em> . . . then we\u2019ll push off the things that matter in our lives under the false assumption that someday the skies will clear completely and stay cleared, and then our real life can finally start. But our real life happens in the midst of the storm. If we can make space for that, and stop assuming that calm is a precondition for flourishing, life opens up to us.<\/p>\n

There are invitations for flourishing right here, right now\u2014for joy and connection and meaning and spiritual growth, in the midst of whatever you\u2019re going through. We don\u2019t have to wait. We don\u2019t have to put it off. Our lives don\u2019t have to be perfect. We don\u2019t need some magic solution to thrive instead of just survive.<\/p>\n

But it\u2019s a choice. It\u2019s a choice to live in the duality, in the messiness. It\u2019s not neat. But there is so much freedom in it. It enables you to stop white-knuckling. It enables you to take the world as it comes. And it enables you to be present for the gifts that are here right now\u2014not just assume the gifts will only be available later.<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"Joel
Partners in the storm.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

4. Commitment Comes Before the \u2018How\u2019<\/h2>\n

This really showed up for me last week as I was leading our mastermind retreat in Mexico (which I\u2019ll share about in future weeks).<\/p>\n

We were talking about the idea of working 30 hours a week<\/a>. And what I\u2019ve come to see is that if you try to find your way to that outcome through productivity solutions\u2014how can I reduce my workload?\u2014it never works. Because your workload is always growing. Even as you\u2019re working on the things you have now, more things are being added. Getting it all done is never going to be the solution.<\/p>\n

Instead, you have to get very clear on what\u2019s at stake if you continue with an unsustainable load. What is it actually going to cost you\u2014emotionally, physically, spiritually\u2014not just intellectually, but really, viscerally? And then you have to get equally clear on what would be true if you could work fewer hours. If you could work a reasonable number of hours that actually made room for your real life.<\/p>\n

From that place, without any idea yet how you\u2019re going to do it, you make the commitment. And then the how reliably appears. It becomes clear what has to be solved. The decisions about what\u2019s most important start making themselves. When you have a defined container that you\u2019re committed to not expanding\u2014and when you understand why that matters\u2014the rest follows.<\/p>\n

My dad always says, \u201cResources follow vision.\u201d And I\u2019d add: the how follows the commitment and the stakes. I got to see that firsthand last week with a room full of women business owners who made commitments to working far fewer hours\u2014in some cases, half of what they\u2019re currently working\u2014and saw a path forward for the first time in their lives. Not because they figured out how to get it all done; that\u2019s impossible. Instead, they figured out the size of their container, why it mattered, and what the right things were to put in it. That, it turns out, is much more doable.<\/p>\n

5. Midlife Teaches Us to Finally Accept Our Limitations<\/h2>\n

This year, the realities of midlife converged on our doorstep in a dramatic way\u2014my body changing, the demands of our nuclear family, the sudden and critical illness of my mother-in-law.<\/p>\n

We had a daughter getting married and a child in the hospital at the same time. While we were still recovering from that, my mother-in-law went into the hospital in critical condition, with an unknown trajectory ahead. Joel has been away for two weeks already, navigating hard decisions and an uncertain path forward, while I\u2019ve been home single-parenting, leading the business, and managing everything that comes with both.<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"Megan
I spent a lot of time in hospitals this last year.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

What\u2019s very clear to me\u2014and I think this is a recurring theme of midlife\u2014is that we have to be in reality.<\/p>\n

In midlife, the demands of life and family peak. You usually have children still at home in this stage. (I\u2019ll have a graduating senior next year. I have two kids changing schools next year. And, as mentioned, I had a daughter get married this year.) Your career is usually at its peak too, in terms of both success and demands. And those often go together.<\/p>\n

That is certainly true for me. And then, oftentimes, you\u2019re navigating aging parents. For us, that\u2019s been not gradual but very abrupt, with a whole bunch of hard decisions that have to be made all at once and were not part of our plan. There are also the changes in your own body. All of that, often at the same time.<\/p>\n

What that means is we have to adjust our expectations. We have to change how we do our life in this season. We need more margin\u2014not just for the wonderful things and the joy and the gifts of our life that we want to make room for. (Yes, we want rest and rejuvenation and hobbies and flourishing.) But we also need to make room for the unexpecteds. There are a lot of those in this season.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve seen in my own life this year how grateful I am for the margin I do have, and also how important it is to create even more. Because there are only so many hours in the day. There\u2019s only so much gas in my tank.<\/p>\n

Life is requiring a lot of me personally, so I have to be ever clearer and more focused on what is mine to do\u2014what\u2019s high leverage\u2014so I can keep that margin without burning myself out. The cost of burning out is that so many people suffer: my business, all the people I love most. So this is mission critical.<\/p>\n

6. Anchors Keep You from Being Swept out to Sea<\/h2>\n

. . . and you don\u2019t have to anchor alone.<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019re living in a dizzying, disorienting world<\/a>. This year more than ever, the acceleration of AI and its integration into our daily life and work\u2014as we begin to see what it means for our future, and how much we still don\u2019t know<\/a>\u2014has made one thing clear: We all need to be building a robust, rich, analog life. Lived in our bodies. Off of screens. Intentionally engaging our five senses with other human beings in person.<\/p>\n

We need to be tethered to something real<\/a> that doesn\u2019t change. Because psychologically, what we\u2019re going through is overwhelming. It\u2019s not only the demands of midlife I just talked about; it\u2019s the pace of change on top of that. Most of us thought, by this point in our lives, we\u2019d be kind of set professionally, in our understanding of the world. But in reality the ground under our feet is shifting.<\/p>\n

We need to be anchored to something that doesn\u2019t move. Part of that starts with our humanity itself\u2014our bodies, our five senses, all the things native to humans we\u2019ve been doing for all time.<\/p>\n

So this year I\u2019ve really dug into the practices of flourishing\u2014tending to myself, connecting with others, spending time in nature<\/a>, prioritizing recreation, and making room for the sacred. In a world where it feels like the center will not hold, these practices will hold. My humanity will hold. I\u2019m anchored to things that don\u2019t change. And I\u2019m convinced more than ever that this is what\u2019s going to carry us through what\u2019s ahead.<\/p>\n

7. Don\u2019t Go It Alone, Hire an Expert<\/h2>\n

We\u2019ve said this for a long time at Full Focus, but this year I\u2019ve actually lived it in several specific ways, and the return has been enormous.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been working with a personal trainer for over a year, and I\u2019ve never been more consistent in taking care of my body, pursuing strength and fitness. I\u2019ve never been in better shape in my entire life\u2014and I\u2019m 46 years old, after years of significant health challenges. That\u2019s because I outsourced it to someone who knows what they\u2019re doing. I know that\u2019s not possible for everyone, but the ROI for me has been huge, and it\u2019s a big reason I\u2019ve been able to navigate so many hard things this year. My body has been in a strong place; my bloodwork has never looked better.<\/p>\n

The same has been true with my therapist this year\u2014a steady resource for processing what we\u2019ve been through, given how much has been thrown at us this year that\u2019s been outside our control. I\u2019m not going to do the superhero role anymore. I\u2019m going to use the outside resource of a therapist to have a safe place to process, to make sure my coping strategies are healthy, to navigate when I get triggered.<\/p>\n

The same with my garden. I have a garden consultant, Natalie, who is also my friend. She\u2019s helped me make it a situation where I\u2019m set up for success\u2014where it\u2019s fun, not overwhelming.<\/p>\n

And Adam Martin, my bee mentor<\/a>, has made it possible for me to step into something I knew nothing about\u2014beekeeping\u2014in a way that hasn\u2019t been overwhelming at all. Instead, it\u2019s given me space to wonder and delight in something new, instead of doing it all through trial and error. I\u2019ve done that a lot in my life. I don\u2019t feel like I need to do that anymore.<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"\"
The bee whisperer.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

So my lesson is this: Whenever I\u2019m facing something I don\u2019t know how to do\u2014especially from midlife on\u2014the first line of defense is, How can I find an expert? Sometimes that might be AI, which can work great. Sometimes you need a real person. Sometimes it\u2019s not even that expensive. And the return on investment is so often unbelievable.<\/p>\n

You think to yourself, Oh my gosh, I could have tried to do this on my own, and it would have been so much more costly and painful and slow\u2014and not in a good way. The right help is an accelerant to joy and confidence and success in a way that going it alone simply isn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

8. Beauty Is the Way Home<\/h2>\n

In a year full of highs and lows\u2014and a lot of scary moments medically, particularly with our children and family members\u2014I\u2019ve been reminded again and again how simple things can carry me.<\/p>\n

Flowers I picked from my yard and put on the kitchen table. Real candles at the dinner table, even if I didn\u2019t make the dinner. Lotion that has a beautiful scent. Walking out into my garden to look at the plants, even when I don\u2019t have time to work with them. Looking at beautiful art. Listening to music.<\/p>\n

Those are not superfluous to life; those are life-giving.<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"Flowers\"
From the garden.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

When I\u2019m intentional about integrating beauty in simple ways into my life, it really signals something to my heart, to my soul, to my nervous system: that we\u2019re not just surviving. That we\u2019re flourishing, even when life is imperfect.<\/p>\n

Beauty, for me, is something that tells me I\u2019m safe. It tells me there is good in the world\u2014because beauty is unnecessary from a survival standpoint. It tells me that God cares and is near. And it has been one of the most critical ways this year that I reconnect to God and to myself, and that I don\u2019t lose myself in survival mode when things are challenging.<\/p>\n

Forty-six years in. The lessons keep coming, and I\u2019m grateful for it.<\/p>\n

What about you? What have you learned in the last year? Where have you grown? <\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Last modified on May 15th, 2026 at 9:22 am<\/p>\n

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, we will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, we only recommend products or services we use and believe will add value to our readers. We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Forty-six years in the books as of this week. Like most years, it\u2019s been full of highs and lows, with so much to be grateful for from both. As I sit here in my quiet house, kids at school, rain falling steadily outside, I reflect on the last 365 days and ask myself, \u201cWhat have […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7040906,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[182232],"tags":[18471,1022,5200,3333,629],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-7040905","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-flourishing","tag-46th","tag-big","tag-lessons","tag-life","tag-year"],"yoast_head":"\n8 Big Lessons from My 46th Year of Life - Som2ny Network<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7040905\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"8 Big Lessons from My 46th Year of Life - Som2ny Network\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Forty-six years in the books as of this week. 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As I sit here in my quiet house, kids at school, rain falling steadily outside, I reflect on the last 365 days and ask myself, \u201cWhat have […]","og_url":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7040905","og_site_name":"Som2ny Network","article_published_time":"2026-08-17T15:18:58+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1456,"height":1092,"url":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/https3A2F2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com2Fpublic2Fimages2Ff93ffc5a-91b7-445e-8951-6d1b983583a.jpeg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"15 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7040905#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7040905"},"author":{"name":"admin","@id":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/#\/schema\/person\/b85e3c3dc0e1daea076524dc8810c371"},"headline":"8 Big Lessons from My 46th Year of Life","datePublished":"2026-08-17T15:18:58+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7040905"},"wordCount":3084,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7040905#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/https3A2F2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com2Fpublic2Fimages2Ff93ffc5a-91b7-445e-8951-6d1b983583a.jpeg","keywords":["46th","Big","Lessons","Life","Year"],"articleSection":["Flourishing"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7040905#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7040905","url":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7040905","name":"8 Big Lessons from My 46th Year of Life - 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