{"id":7036777,"date":"2026-08-10T16:05:39","date_gmt":"2026-08-10T16:05:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/uncategorized\/the-best-leaders-never-forget-what-its-like-to-be-a-follower\/"},"modified":"2026-08-10T16:05:39","modified_gmt":"2026-08-10T16:05:39","slug":"the-best-leaders-never-forget-what-its-like-to-be-a-follower","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7036777","title":{"rendered":"The Best Leaders Never Forget What It\u2019s Like to Be a Follower"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n<\/p>\n

\n

It\u2019s a hundred degrees on a College Station afternoon, and I\u2019m standing at rigid attention against a wall in the Corps of Cadets dorm. I\u2019m a freshman\u2014a \u2018fish\u2019 here. An upperclassman stands close, testing if I can recite what he told me to memorize. My shirt is soaked. My mind is racing. And the only two things I\u2019m allowed to say are \u201cYes sir\u201d and \u201cNo sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

That was my whole first year. Not classes, not football games, not the college experience they show in the brochures. My freshman year was built around one job: learning to be a follower.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t understand it at the time, but that year taught me more about leadership than any book, any seminar, or any corner office ever has. Because here\u2019s what nobody tells you: you cannot lead people well if you\u2019ve forgotten what it feels like to follow.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Year I Couldn\u2019t Escape<\/h2>\n

In the Corps, the fish year isn\u2019t a suggestion. It\u2019s the deal. Upperclassmen lead, freshmen follow, and there\u2019s no negotiating the arrangement. Every day, someone above me in the chain had authority over how I stood, how I spoke, how I spent my time.<\/p>\n

And here\u2019s the part that stuck with me for life: some of those upperclassmen were worth following, and some weren\u2019t.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Some of them led with a kind of steadiness that made you want to measure up. They were hard on you, sure, but you could feel that it was for a reason. They\u2019d correct you and then, later, quietly show you how to get it right. You\u2019d have run through a wall for those guys.<\/p>\n

And then there were the others. The ones who mistook a rank for a personality. They pushed because they could, not because it made anyone better. Following them felt like busywork \u2014 obedience for the sake of someone else\u2019s ego.<\/p>\n

Now, I had a choice about how to handle the second group. I could balk. I could roll my eyes, drag my feet, make my displeasure known. But there were only two outcomes down that road: I\u2019d either stay in constant trouble, or I\u2019d resign and walk away from the Corps altogether.<\/p>\n

To me, neither one was an option. So I did the harder thing. I followed anyway \u2014 even the ones I didn\u2019t respect \u2014 and I paid close attention to the difference between the two kinds.<\/p>\n

The Classroom You Only Get Once<\/h2>\n

Here\u2019s the thing about being a follower: it\u2019s the only time you see leadership from the bottom looking up. And that view is priceless.<\/p>\n

Think about a restaurant. Anybody who\u2019s waited tables or bussed dishes as a kid grows up to be a better restaurant customer. They know what it\u2019s like when someone snaps their fingers for service. They know the difference between a rush that\u2019s nobody\u2019s fault and a kitchen that\u2019s just disorganized. That experience never leaves them. It shapes how they treat every server for the rest of their life.<\/p>\n

The fish year was my version of bussing tables. I was on the receiving end of every leadership style there is \u2014 the good, the bad, and the lazy \u2014 and I felt each one in my gut. Knowing exactly what it felt like to be corrected in a way that built me up, and what it felt like to be corrected in a way that tore me down. I collected all of it, whether I wanted to or not.<\/p>\n

Most leaders eventually lose that view. They climb, they get comfortable, and the memory of the bottom rung fades. They start issuing directions without ever picturing the person on the other end of them. And that\u2019s exactly when leadership goes sideways.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Why the Countdown Changed Everything<\/h2>\n

There was one more thing that kept me grounded that year, and it might be the most important part of the whole story.<\/p>\n

I knew the clock was ticking. In one short year, I wouldn\u2019t be a fish anymore. I\u2019d be the upperclassman. I\u2019d be the one standing in front of a wide-eyed freshman, holding real responsibility for the next fish class coming up behind me.<\/p>\n

That changes how you experience being led. When you know you\u2019re about to sit in the other chair, you stop just surviving the treatment and start studying it. Every good leader became a model of what I wanted to be. Every bad one became a warning of what I refused to become.<\/p>\n

Let me put it differently. I was taking notes the whole time without realizing it. And when my turn came, I already knew the kind of leader I wanted to be \u2014 not because someone lectured me on leadership theory, but because I\u2019d spent a year feeling the results of it, up close, in the heat.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the reframe worth sitting with: every person you lead is watching you the same way I watched those upperclassmen.<\/strong> They\u2019re deciding, quietly, whether you\u2019re worth following. And a good number of them will one day sit in a chair like yours, leading the way you taught them to.<\/p>\n

What This Means for You on Monday Morning<\/h2>\n

You probably didn\u2019t have a fish year. But you had something. A first boss. A first job where you were the low person on the ladder. A season where someone else held all the authority and you held none.<\/p>\n

The question is whether you still remember how it felt.<\/p>\n

Because most leadership problems I see aren\u2019t about strategy or skill. They\u2019re about a leader who has lost the ability to imagine the view from below. They forgot what it\u2019s like to be handed a vague assignment and no context. Leadership forgets what it\u2019s like to be corrected in front of the entire team. They forgot what it\u2019s like to pour effort into something and have the boss never notice.<\/p>\n

So here\u2019s a simple exercise. The next time you\u2019re about to hand down a decision, a correction, or an assignment, pause and ask yourself one question: If I were on the receiving end of this \u2014 the way I\u2019m about to deliver it \u2014 would it make me want to follow me?<\/em><\/p>\n

That\u2019s it. That\u2019s the whole test. It\u2019s not complicated, and that\u2019s the point. Leadership rarely fails because people don\u2019t know the fancy frameworks. It fails because they stopped remembering what it feels like to be the person being led.<\/p>\n

The best leaders I\u2019ve ever known \u2014 in the military, in banking, in the businesses I\u2019ve built \u2014 all had one thing in common. They never lost that memory. They could still feel the wall against their back and the sweat on their shirt. And it made them careful with the power they\u2019d been given, because they knew exactly what that power feels like when it\u2019s pointed at you.<\/p>\n

The Chair Always Turns Around<\/h2>\n

I spent a year learning to follow because I had no other choice. Looking back, it was the best thing that could have happened to me. It gave me a compass I\u2019ve carried into every leadership role since.<\/p>\n

The fish becomes the upperclassman. The new hire becomes the manager. The person taking orders today is giving them tomorrow. The chair always turns around.<\/p>\n

So the real question isn\u2019t whether you can lead. It\u2019s whether you still remember being led \u2014 and whether you\u2019re leading in a way that the person on the other end would actually want to follow.<\/p>\n

Sit with that one for a minute. Then go lead like someone\u2019s taking notes. Because they are.<\/p>\n

\n

What\u2019s the one leadership lesson you learned from the bottom of the ladder \u2014 from a boss worth following, or one who wasn\u2019t? I\u2019d love to hear your take.<\/em><\/p>\n

\n
\"author<\/div>\n
\n
Doug Thorpe is an executive coach and trusted advisor to CEOs and business leaders. As host of the podcast Leadership Powered by Common Sense, he shares practical insights on decision-making, team development, and organizational growth. Doug\u2019s approach is grounded in servant leadership<\/b>\u2014helping leaders succeed by empowering the people they serve.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s a hundred degrees on a College Station afternoon, and I\u2019m standing at rigid attention against a wall in the Corps of Cadets dorm. I\u2019m a freshman\u2014a \u2018fish\u2019 here. An upperclassman stands close, testing if I can recite what he told me to memorize. My shirt is soaked. My mind is racing. And the only […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":362082,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[199465,124536,124537,12280,97574,124538,199466,97715,124540,199467,183292,106196],"tags":[199468,199469,199475,8357,199470,17389,11655,5984,199471,199472,8963,5786,199473,199474,106198],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-7036777","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-building-confidence","category-developing-others","category-influencing-others","category-leadership","category-management","category-managing-your-team","category-managing-yourself","category-mindset","category-performance","category-recalibration","category-running-a-business","category-servant-leadership","tag-building-confidence","tag-developing-others","tag-follower","tag-forget","tag-influencing-others","tag-leaders","tag-leadership","tag-management","tag-managing-your-team","tag-managing-yourself","tag-mindset","tag-performance","tag-recalibration","tag-running-a-business","tag-servant-leadership"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Best Leaders Never Forget What It\u2019s Like to Be a Follower - Som2ny Network<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7036777\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Best Leaders Never Forget What It\u2019s Like to Be a Follower - Som2ny Network\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It\u2019s a hundred degrees on a College Station afternoon, and I\u2019m standing at rigid attention against a wall in the Corps of Cadets dorm. 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