<\/p>\n I\u2019ve been overdue for a life update. Recently, my life changed forever. And honestly\u2026 I froze when it came to blogging and showing up in this space.<\/p>\n All my energy was going into my kids and surviving.<\/p>\n One day I will tell my full story.<\/strong> I am so grateful for the community that I\u2019ve found here online, it\u2019s one that I do not take for granted. It made it possible for me to raise my babies and still make an income. It helped me through the loss of my best friend, postpartum anxiety and my miscarriages.\u00a0<\/p>\n A constant I found, when sharing those sufferings here, was that I was not alone.\u00a0<\/p>\n I know that with this experience, I am also, sadly\u2026not alone. It is all too common.<\/p>\n But many women feel isolated through it. Our silence is a huge part of why that is. And I\u2019m determined to not be a part of that pattern.<\/strong><\/p>\n One day I will share more, when the time is right, because sometimes really horrible things happen to you, and the only way through it is to try and see how you can be used to help others going through that too. I feel that to my core.<\/strong><\/p>\n Can I be honest with you? I don\u2019t know if I still believe in marriage. Maybe time will change that but it\u2019s hard to imagine. Trust feels impossible. The walls are up. Even my faith and relationship with God have been so badly affected. It\u2019s so sad how things can ripple into all corners of your life. I know it\u2019s going to be a long road to heal but the first step was acknowledging my reality. You can\u2019t move forward if you stay stuck and hidden away in the dark<\/strong> because facing reality is too painful. I\u2019m so glad I found the strength to take action on knowing my worth\u2026and setting those first boundaries. That was the turning point to real healing \u2013 not just band aids.\u00a0<\/p>\n Being alone and a mom to 6 kids is not how I pictured my life\u2026 it\u2019s not what I wanted for my kids. But I\u2019ve grown stronger every day. That gives me hope.<\/strong> Because looking back, to where I am now, I have seen so much healing and growth. I only hope this time next year I am in an even better place.<\/p>\n Since it\u2019s been so long\u2026.I thought I would do a little photo dump<\/strong> of me and my crew.<\/p>\n It blows my mind how much the kids have grown up. Suddenly I have no babies. It\u2019s all big kids! Sophia is an adult next month! I know some of you have been here since those early girl mom days and are probably confused with how that is even possible \u2013 since as moms we all haven\u2019t aged\u2026 \ud83d\ude09 haha. Time is weird.<\/p>\n Not all of my life has turned out the way I hoped and dreamed as a little girl\u2026 There are plenty of really hard days, but I feel a spark, and I\u2019m holding onto that. I\u2019m locked in on creating a life of joy and safety for my people \u2013 so grateful for the moments of happiness and peace we have had this summer.<\/p>\n *****Scroll to bottom\u2026. if you have found yourself in a similar spot as me- on your own. I don\u2019t know what is in the air right now but my DM\u2019s are full of women where I once was.\u00a0 So this is for you, if you were meeting me at Starbucks for a coffee and trauma dump this is what I would tell you.<\/p>\n The truth didn\u2019t ruin your life \u2013 it saved you from a lie.<\/p>\n Stop being considerate in situations where you are not being considered.<\/p>\n Set the boundaries and then trust the behavior <\/strong>over words \u2013 always.\u00a0<\/p>\n Just get through today \u2013 that\u2019s enough.<\/p>\n The intensity you feel right now \u2013 WILL soften. (I didn\u2019t believe them either but they were right!)<\/p>\n One day it will be easier to find joy \u2013 even in the hard season- I\u2019m living that.<\/p>\n It\u2019s the gratitude, for what you are no longer experiencing, that gives you that lightness again. You will get there.\u00a0<\/p>\n It will never be fair \u2013 but you are stronger than you think. And your people need you. Do it scared, do it tired, do it hurting- for them.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t isolate- you need support. Lean on your community. Join a therapy group and lean on strangers if you have to. They won\u2019t stay strangers! (CLT friends: @thehavencounseling<\/a> )<\/p>\n Let yourself feel what you need to feel. Some days are harder.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t minimize your hurt or explain it away to try to make sense of how someone could do something. You don\u2019t understand it because you would never do that. But you know enough. And when you say it out loud- it is as bad as you feel it is. You have to face it to heal\u2026 not stuff it down to keep the \u201cpeace\u201d or norm. It\u2019s scary.. but you are strong.\u00a0<\/p>\n Overthink the good in your life. It\u2019s there, we just sometimes miss it when things feel heavy or sad.<\/p>\n Accounts that encouraged, helped and healed me:<\/strong>
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Today cannot be that day.
But my life experience is not for anyone else to silence<\/span>.<\/p>\n
but one thing has\u2026these amazing kids.
I always wanted to be a mom. And no matter what I had to go through to have them in my life, I would do it a million times over if it meant I have them. They are my world.<\/p>\n
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I\u2019m here for you. And if you aren\u2019t going through a hard season like this, please take a minute to pray for these women if you pray. If you know someone in real life that\u2019s struggling \u2013 reach out. It\u2019s such an isolating and hard burden to carry and so often women try to do it alone. I know first hand. But we are meant for community and support can make all the difference in changing the trajectory of someone\u2019s life.<\/p>\n
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@btr.org_\u00a0<\/a>
@h.e.l.e.n.m.a.r.i.e\u00a0<\/a>
@twfo_couple\u00a0<\/a>
@betsypake<\/a>
@drjakeporter<\/a>
@thesabrinasotoshow<\/a>
@yourcourageouscomeback<\/a>
@ellelouisemcbride<\/a>
@healingher_podcast<\/a>
@nataliecastle<\/a>
@herpathtopower.co<\/a>
@talkingwithtesa<\/a>
@tashawndragovan\u00a0<\/a>
@iamclairejones<\/a>
@trustgodbro<\/a><\/p>\n
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