{"id":7032883,"date":"2026-08-08T01:36:18","date_gmt":"2026-08-08T01:36:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/airline\/round-or-flat\/"},"modified":"2026-08-08T01:36:18","modified_gmt":"2026-08-08T01:36:18","slug":"round-or-flat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7032883","title":{"rendered":"Round or Flat?"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n<\/p>\n

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August 6, 2026<\/h4>\n

I\u2019m working a trip to Paris. I\u2019m early for my sign-in, so I stake out a quiet spot at the bottom of the stairs, down at the connector to terminal C. I\u2019m scrolling on my phone, setting up some things on my iPad.<\/p>\n

A man approaches from the escalator. He\u2019s looking right at me, and I can sense he\u2019s about to say something. Probably he wants trading cards, or has some nerdy question about planes. I don\u2019t mind this at all. I\u2019m only killing time, and it makes me happy when people take interest in my job.<\/p>\n

\u201cHi,\u201d he says. \u201cDo you mind if I ask you a question? Whenever I see a pilot, there\u2019s a question I like to ask them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey,\u201d I respond. \u201cNo, not at all.\u201d<\/p>\n

But something is off. What does he mean by \u201cthere\u2019s a question\u201d? The phrasing, plus the oddly smug look on his face, are caution flags. This is going somewhere strange, I can tell.<\/p>\n

\u201cRound or flat?\u201d he asks, folding his arms.<\/p>\n

Oh. This. I look back at him but don\u2019t say anything. I know exactly what he\u2019s asking, but I\u2019m too annoyed, too disappointed<\/em>, to speak.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you a round earth pilot, or a flat earth pilot?\u201d He\u2019s half-smiling, looking down his nose at me, like he\u2019s got me in a bind.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, dude,\u201d I finally say. \u201cSeriously?\u201d<\/p>\n

For a moment he seems startled. I\u2019m probably less polite than most of the pilots he\u2019s ambushed with this nonsense. He\u2019s used to hearing the likes of, \u201cWell, sir, you\u2019re certainly entitled to your opinion, but I have to argue that the planet is round.\u201d<\/p>\n

And while that\u2019s certainly true, I don\u2019t have patience for it. \u201cI\u2019m not answering the question,\u201d I say to him. \u201cIt\u2019s too silly.\u201d<\/p>\n

He bristles, moves his head around.<\/p>\n

And how unexpected this is. The man is so nondescript, so normal looking.<\/em> Aren\u2019t flat-earthers supposed to be dressed like medieval priests, with a crazy gleam in their eye? Here\u2019s a professional-looking 35 year-old with a neatly trimmed beard and luggage from Tumi. Is this what the Internet has done to us?<\/p>\n

\n

\"\"<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u201cWhat if I told you,\u201d he goes on, \u201cThat fifty percent of the pilots I talk to say the earth is flat?\u201d<\/p>\n

I make an exasperated noise. \u201cI\u2019d say either you\u2019re lying, or they\u2019re messing with you.\u201d (And if it\u2019s the latter, I\u2019d like to add but keep to myself, I don\u2019t blame them.)<\/p>\n

I\u2019m tempted to run with this. \u201cActually it\u2019s both,\u201d I could tell him. \u201cIt\u2019s round on the top and flat on the bottom. Like a gumdrop. You\u2019ve never heard of Gumdrop Theory? The trash countries are all at the bottom, like Burundi and Canada.\u201d<\/p>\n

Or I could turn it into a gentlemanly discussion, where I invite him to sit, take out my charts, and brief him on the realities of latitude and longitude, great circle routes and such.<\/p>\n

From there, once I\u2019d convinced him of his folly, we could segue into a chat about map projections. One thing that has always irked me is the Mercator projection, with its massive distortions as you approach the poles. Kids grow up thinking Greenland is bigger than Africa, or that Alaska is the size of Western Europe. Point being: things aren\u2019t always what they seem, or what conventional wisdom says they are. Common ground.<\/p>\n

But I know there\u2019s no point. No matter what I say, he won\u2019t believe me. It\u2019s no different with the chemtrail people, or the September 11th people. It\u2019s like arguing religion. So I don\u2019t try. Besides, why indulge what essentially is willful ignorance?<\/p>\n

And with that he gives up. \u201cOkay, he says \u201cIf that\u2019s how you feel.\u201d And he walks away.<\/p>\n

Yes, that\u2019s how I feel.<\/p>\n

Why me? Why couldn\u2019t this guy have just sauntered by and gotten himself lunch at Walhburger\u2019s, instead of approaching me so that I can feel hopeless about the future of humanity? And this business about, \u201cAre you a round earth pilot, or a flat earth pilot?\u201d As if there are two camps. As if this is the kind of thing we debate all night flying across the Atlantic. As if his question isn\u2019t, in fact, stupid.<\/p>\n

And apparently it\u2019s worse than I thought. A friend of mine, a pilot, told me that a man came up to him at a party and did the same thing. Another colleague said it happened to him in an airport restaurant. Suddenly it\u2019s a trendy line of thinking. Which both surprises me and doesn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Dark Ages,\u201d wrote Kurt Vonnegut. \u201cThey haven\u2019t ended yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Artwork by Jack Niles and Gael Gaborel, courtesy of Unsplash.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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