{"id":7032262,"date":"2026-08-07T16:51:26","date_gmt":"2026-08-07T16:51:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/uncategorized\/the-usefulness-of-suffering-darius-foroux\/"},"modified":"2026-08-07T16:51:26","modified_gmt":"2026-08-07T16:51:26","slug":"the-usefulness-of-suffering-darius-foroux","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7032262","title":{"rendered":"The usefulness of suffering &#8211; Darius Foroux"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Most of our suffering is useless.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Eckhart Tolle wrote a line in <a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/4wC95li\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Stillness Speaks<\/a> that I often think of:<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cSuffering is necessary until you realize it is unnecessary.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He is of course referring to the mental suffering that so many of us go through every day. The constant mental chatter that takes away our attention from the present to the voice that\u2019s never satisfied.<\/p>\n<p> <span id=\"more-17287\"\/><\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You see, we all want to live a happy and interesting life. We want to feel that we\u2019re in control of our destiny.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We want to enjoy the time we have on this planet.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Isn\u2019t that a weird goal?<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It wasn\u2019t that long ago that our species was just focused on survival. We didn\u2019t have time to suffer in imagination.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But that\u2019s the topic of another article.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The truth is that we can have a pretty good life. The thing is, you have to go through a lot of suffering to make that happen.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The two kinds of suffering<\/h2>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There are two kinds of suffering, and they feel identical from the inside.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>The first kind is useful.<\/strong> It comes from real friction with the world:<\/p>\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>A bad grade<\/li>\n<li>A rejection<\/li>\n<li>A job you can\u2019t stand<\/li>\n<li>A business that isn\u2019t working<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">These things hurt because there are actual stakes involved. You can\u2019t think them away. You have to go <em>through<\/em> them. And going through them is exactly what strengthens you.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I have a six-month-old son. And sometimes I look at him and think, \u201cYou have a lot of challenges ahead of you!\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In a good way, I mean. Isn\u2019t that the beauty of life? You go through all of these obstacles and you have so much to learn. And every year, you feel like you\u2019re a little bit smarter than before.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That\u2019s the proper way to live.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But most people stop living like that. And that\u2019s caused by another kind of suffering.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>The second kind of suffering is 100% useless.<\/strong> This is what Eckhart Tolle was talking about. It\u2019s the low-key suffering that runs in the background of your life:<\/p>\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Doubt<\/li>\n<li>Anxiety without a clear reason<\/li>\n<li>Worrying about mundane things<\/li>\n<li>A lack of self-confidence<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I also know that second kind very well. For my entire life, I carried a constant unease with me.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Worrying about my career. Worrying about finding a partner when I was single. I had all these expectations and demands of life, and the gap between where I was and where I thought I <em>should<\/em> be produced a steady hum of anxiety that never went anywhere.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And even after I built a writing career, it didn\u2019t disappear.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When I\u2019d open registration for a course, I\u2019d judge the whole launch by the first day.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If only a few people signed up, I\u2019d immediately think: \u201cI need to change something. This is going to be a failure.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">By the time the launch closed, it was always fine, and people signed up. All that early judgment produced nothing except a bad mood.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because I know this type of suffering well and found a way to stop it, I\u2019ve made it my mission in life to help others to do the same.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is one of my main priorities with my son as he grows up. I want to teach him early on that doubt, failure, and challenges are a normal part of life.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s a waste of energy to \u201csuffer more often in imagination than in reality,\u201d as the great Stoic Seneca said.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We need to develop a sense of judgment that helps us to determine what\u2019s useful suffering and what\u2019s not.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Your past doesn\u2019t get to decide<\/h3>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So what if you want to start living life in a different way? You want to stop the excessive worrying. You want to be someone who doesn\u2019t overthink. Someone who takes action and doesn\u2019t let anything stop them.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Well, you can.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What\u2019s stopping you?<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cMy past,\u201d is what a lot of folks say.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The psychologist <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Alfred_Adler\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Alfred Adler<\/a> built his entire philosophy around the idea that you are NOT your past.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Through his work, he noticed that a lof of people let a failure get a hold on their soul and replay it for years in their minds. They build their identity around their past.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Where Freud said your past determines who you are, Adler said the opposite: <strong>you are driven by your goals, not your history.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Adler wrote:<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cNo experience is in itself a cause of success or failure. We do not suffer from the shock of our experiences, but instead we make out of them whatever suits our purposes.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The experience itself doesn\u2019t decide anything. <em>You<\/em> decide what it means.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Two people can go through the same failure. One uses it as proof they\u2019re not good enough. The other uses it as fuel.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No matter what you\u2019ve been through, you have the power to change.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You have the power to be different and to move forward.<\/p>\n<p> <iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/wisewealthy.dariusforoux.com\/embed\" width=\"480\" height=\"320\" style=\"border:1px solid #EEE; background:white;\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Most of our suffering is useless. Eckhart Tolle wrote a line in Stillness Speaks that I often think of: \u201cSuffering is necessary until you realize it is unnecessary.\u201d He is of course referring to the mental suffering that so many of us go through every day. The constant mental chatter that takes away our attention [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7032263,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[99851,11937,158969],"tags":[49215,195745,56413,23920,40330,27571,113506],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-7032262","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life-lessons","category-philosophy","category-stoicism","tag-darius","tag-foroux","tag-life-lessons","tag-philosophy","tag-stoicism","tag-suffering","tag-usefulness"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The usefulness of suffering - Darius Foroux - Som2ny Network<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7032262\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The usefulness of suffering - Darius Foroux - Som2ny Network\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Most of our suffering is useless. Eckhart Tolle wrote a line in Stillness Speaks that I often think of: \u201cSuffering is necessary until you realize it is unnecessary.\u201d He is of course referring to the mental suffering that so many of us go through every day. 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