{"id":7031408,"date":"2026-08-07T05:17:43","date_gmt":"2026-08-07T05:17:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/uncategorized\/on-putting-things-together\/"},"modified":"2026-08-07T05:17:43","modified_gmt":"2026-08-07T05:17:43","slug":"on-putting-things-together","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7031408","title":{"rendered":"On Putting Things Together | ."},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I often find myself work\u00ading with teams \u2014 or at least I would say, with <em>groups<\/em>. Smart peo\u00adple with good inten\u00adtions oper\u00adat\u00ading col\u00adlec\u00adtive\u00adly. Peo\u00adple capa\u00adble and often far more than just capa\u00adble, who want the best for their orga\u00adni\u00adza\u00adtions and work hard every\u00adday to get there. How\u00adev\u00ader, as a pro\u00adpo\u00adnent of reflec\u00adtive lead\u00ader\u00adship I also often notice some\u00adthing that appears in the back\u00adground of their meetings:<\/p>\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>The dom\u00adi\u00adnance of asser\u00adtion: state\u00adments more than ques\u00adtions, or even observations<\/li>\n<li>More con\u00adver\u00adsa\u00adtion about what\u2019s wrong with an idea than what\u2019s right with\u00a0it<\/li>\n<li>If not by actu\u00adal\u00adly talk\u00ading over one anoth\u00ader, then by the imme\u00addi\u00adate stack\u00ading of one opin\u00adion upon anoth\u00ader with no breath\u00ading room or silence between state\u00adments or between speak\u00aders. Silence seems to be viewed oppor\u00adtunis\u00adti\u00adcal\u00adly rather than as a resource for reflection<\/li>\n<li>Some peo\u00adples\u2019 points are sim\u00adply ignored, spo\u00adken over or bypassed<\/li>\n<li>Bare\u00adly a momen\u00adt\u2019s praise for any\u00adone or any\u00adone else\u2019s idea, let alone fur\u00adther curios\u00adi\u00adty about\u00a0it<\/li>\n<li>It some\u00adtimes seems that one\u2019s \u201cseat at the table\u201d is best jus\u00adti\u00adfied by hav\u00ading the last\u00a0word<\/li>\n<li>It can feel like peo\u00adple are com\u00adpet\u00ading but it\u2019s unclear what they are com\u00adpet\u00ading for, per\u00adhaps cred\u00adi\u00adbil\u00adi\u00adty more than any\u00adthing\u00a0else<\/li>\n<li>Some peo\u00adple say almost noth\u00ading; oth\u00ader peo\u00adple say almost everything<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I con\u00adfess some\u00adtimes I am one of the peo\u00adple who is not say\u00ading much, even as the con\u00adsul\u00adtant, because there\u2019s so lit\u00adtle explo\u00adration of <em>mean\u00ading<\/em> going on. It can feel like the group cul\u00adture con\u00adtains an implic\u00adit demand that peo\u00adple \u201cpush into\u201d the con\u00adver\u00adsa\u00adtion and \u201cmix it up,\u201d to advo\u00adcate a \u201cbet\u00adter\u201d solu\u00adtion \u2014 although this may be the very oppo\u00adsite of what\u2019s need\u00aded as peo\u00adple race to plant their par\u00adtic\u00adu\u00adlar flags. In what I would call more gen\u00ader\u00adous groups, there may not be so much inter\u00adest in whose idea pre\u00advails but there may cer\u00adtain\u00adly be an inter\u00adest in prov\u00ading one\u2019s indi\u00advid\u00adual <em>con\u00adtri\u00adbu\u00adtion<\/em>, show\u00ading the val\u00adue of one\u2019s pres\u00adence in the room and jus\u00adti\u00adfies my belong\u00ading. That ends up amount\u00ading to very near\u00adly the same thing \u2014 a focus on the best thought, the best answer, the win\u00adning\u00a0idea.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A more reflec\u00adtive approach would be dif\u00adfer\u00adent. \u201cShared mean\u00ading\u201d sug\u00adgests not so much the pro\u00adduc\u00adtion of a best idea as some\u00adthing that involves a group\u2019s deep\u00ader need for align\u00adment, coher\u00adence, an under\u00adstand\u00ading that serves as a bridge between peo\u00adple. Some\u00adthing that is the prod\u00aduct of more than <em>dis\u00adcus\u00adsion<\/em>, a term that comes from latin words for break\u00ading things apart. I\u2019m not sure we have a word that yet quite describes the oppo\u00adsite: putting things togeth\u00ader in a deep\u00ader, cre\u00adative, col\u00adlab\u00ado\u00adra\u00adtive way.  Yet even col\u00adlab\u00ado\u00adra\u00adtion may not be that word, the notion of co-labor\u00ading bring\u00ading to mind only hors\u00ades in a harness.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-photo is-provider-flickr wp-block-embed-flickr\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<a href=\"https:\/\/flic.kr\/p\/2rUZeTa\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/live.staticflickr.com\/65535\/55077237619_f94ee1cfcf_c.jpg\" alt=\"_DKO3595\" width=\"534\" height=\"800\"\/><\/a>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You have to be quite inten\u00adtion\u00adal in some meet\u00adings in order to\u00a0say:<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span class=\"dquo\">\u201c<\/span>That was beau\u00adti\u00adful.  Why don\u2019t we take a moment to reflect on what Mary just\u00a0said.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">or <\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span class=\"dquo\">\u201c<\/span>I\u2019m not sure every\u00adone is in this con\u00adver\u00adsa\u00adtion yet. Let\u2019s slow down a moment.  Who would like to be\u00a0heard?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">or<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span class=\"dquo\">\u201c<\/span>I\u2019d like to real\u00adly under\u00adstand more about what you are say\u00ading and I\u2019m curi\u00adous about the expe\u00adri\u00adences behind your per\u00adspec\u00adtive.  Help me get what you mean\u00a0by.\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">or<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span class=\"dquo\">\u201c<\/span>I\u2019m hav\u00ading a hard time get\u00adting my thoughts out onto this table.  I\u2019m afraid all you\u2019ll hear is \u2018word sal\u00adad,\u2019 but I\u2019m will\u00ading to try and please help as I may fumble.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">More than any\u00adthing, I find less reflec\u00adtive, com\u00adpet\u00adi\u00adtive con\u00adver\u00adsa\u00adtions to be based in over\u00adac\u00adtive, intel\u00adlec\u00adtive, inchoate analy\u00adsis with lit\u00adtle atten\u00adtion to the under\u00adly\u00ading, some\u00adtimes very pri\u00advate feel\u00adings and expe\u00adri\u00adence of the peo\u00adple who are in the room. It\u2019s fre\u00adquent\u00adly about judg\u00adment that cuts things short and in so doing may actu\u00adal\u00adly avoid the deep\u00ader prob\u00adlems that reside there, just slight\u00adly off\u00a0stage.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Admit\u00adted\u00adly, this is an old top\u00adic. It\u2019s been ref\u00ader\u00adenced over the years by var\u00adi\u00adous authors, such as <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/The_Fifth_Discipline\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" title=\"\">Peter Sen\u00adge<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.barnesandnoble.com\/w\/leadership-peter-koestenbaum\/1139038682\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" title=\"\">Peter Koesten\u00adbaum<\/a>. Sen\u00adge, for exam\u00adple, calls out how typ\u00adi\u00adcal\u00adly there\u2019s lit\u00adtle pen\u00ade\u00adtrat\u00ading exam\u00adi\u00adna\u00adtion of our under\u00adly\u00ading assump\u00adtions as we go about our prob\u00adlem-solv\u00ading. And Koesten\u00adbaum in his mas\u00adter\u00adpiece of reflec\u00adtive inquiry writes about a group of engi\u00adneers who con\u00adstant\u00adly argued and got nowhere until they were asked to replace the word \u201cprob\u00adlem\u201d with \u201cpain.\u201d Essen\u00adtial\u00adly, they were asked to slow down their con\u00adver\u00adsa\u00adtions enough to share how they tru\u00adly felt about their prob\u00adlems before try\u00ading to address them.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I often notice sim\u00adi\u00adlar dynam\u00adics. In many teams no one is like\u00adly to say, \u201cI\u2019m real\u00adly angry about this\u201d or \u201cI feel guilty about what hap\u00adpened\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m so sad this has come up again\u201d or \u201cI was per\u00adson\u00adal\u00adly embar\u00adrassed by the whole thing and I\u2019d like us to do bet\u00adter.\u201d Feel\u00adings that help the mem\u00adbers of a team under\u00adstand where their col\u00adleagues and their ideas and judg\u00adments are tru\u00adly com\u00ading from.  Instead, about the only emo\u00adtion that ever gets voiced is \u201cI\u2019m frus\u00adtrat\u00aded.\u201d Frus\u00adtra\u00adtion appears to be the only pro\u00adfes\u00adsion\u00adal\u00adly accept\u00adable word for an uncom\u00adfort\u00adable feel\u00ading. The rest can seem more or less taboo, per\u00adhaps inter\u00adpret\u00aded as a sign of weak\u00adness or vulnerability.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Mean\u00ading hard\u00adly ever comes from bang\u00ading on our prob\u00adlems accord\u00ading to their obvi\u00adous sur\u00adface facets, deper\u00adson\u00adal\u00adized and abstract\u00aded from how we tru\u00adly feel about and expe\u00adri\u00adence them. We\u2019ll be bang\u00ading on this same prob\u00adlem next year, too. Mean\u00ading isn\u2019t in our con\u00adtrol in that eas\u00adi\u00adly glossed way, I don\u2019t think, although some fre\u00adquent\u00adly pre\u00adtend it is, con\u00adtin\u00adu\u00ading to push the assump\u00adtion that with enough raw log\u00adi\u00adcal intel\u00adli\u00adgence all prob\u00adlems can be solved (a dan\u00adger\u00adous accel\u00ader\u00adant for over-reliance on <span class=\"caps\">AI<\/span>). Mean\u00ading may well be deep\u00ader down, sub\u00admerged in the unex\u00adam\u00adined con\u00adnec\u00adtions between us, between you and me. Some days it can seem to be there still wait\u00ading in the con\u00adfer\u00adence room long after we\u2019ve all left for home. Tru\u00adly it is <em>in<\/em> us and <em>between<\/em> us, not some\u00adplace \u201cout there\u201d to be pos\u00adsessed alone by a stark vic\u00adtor who first and fore\u00admost has won a prize for being right. Too often our sub\u00adtly com\u00adpet\u00adi\u00adtive meet\u00adings, meet\u00adings of good peo\u00adple try\u00ading to do the right things, may inad\u00adver\u00adtent\u00adly work to strip us and our prob\u00adlems of real mean\u00ading, doing so with\u00adout, of course, any\u00adone mean\u00ading to do any\u00adthing of that\u00a0kind.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What then are we sup\u00adposed to\u00a0do?\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Well, things often change when peo\u00adple become con\u00adscious.  Notic\u00ading the dynam\u00adic as a pat\u00adtern of how we do things can help \u2014 if it leads to con\u00adstruc\u00adtive group reflec\u00adtion.  In addi\u00adtion \u2014 and I hope you won\u2019t hear this as too moon\u00adstruck \u2014 I\u2019d say it\u2019s good to remem\u00adber that as indi\u00advid\u00adu\u00adals we come from a lov\u00ading noth\u00ading\u00adness and we\u2019ll all be head\u00aded back that way soon enough.  It\u2019s good to recall that we are just here togeth\u00ader. That all we\u2019ve got ini\u00adtial\u00adly <em>is<\/em> human con\u00adnect\u00aded\u00adness. That we\u2019ve hap\u00adpened to show up in the same room at the same time and yet our indi\u00advid\u00adual trips to that room have all been the prod\u00aduct of very dif\u00adfer\u00adent paths. That mean\u00ading is cre\u00adat\u00aded <em>but also<\/em> dis\u00adcov\u00adered. That we start as much from what we don\u2019t know as what we do. And it\u2019s about the agency we hold togeth\u00ader, what <em>we<\/em> can do, <em>we<\/em> can build, <em>we<\/em> can put togeth\u00ader in the face of the dark\u00adness accord\u00ading to our vision, our com\u00admon star wher\u00adev\u00ader it may be; inevitably how we can help and care for each oth\u00ader, defin\u00ading our humanity.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s good to remem\u00adber we come from that noth\u00ading\u00adness, to be aware that the noth\u00ading is there under us all. Some days you can almost hear it\u00a0hum.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-photo is-provider-flickr wp-block-embed-flickr\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<a href=\"https:\/\/flic.kr\/p\/2rUXV1Q\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/live.staticflickr.com\/65535\/55076979036_cd0798bdf4_c.jpg\" alt=\"_DKO3559\" width=\"534\" height=\"800\"\/><\/a>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure><\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I often find myself work\u00ading with teams \u2014 or at least I would say, with groups. Smart peo\u00adple with good inten\u00adtions oper\u00adat\u00ading col\u00adlec\u00adtive\u00adly. Peo\u00adple capa\u00adble and often far more than just capa\u00adble, who want the best for their orga\u00adni\u00adza\u00adtions and work hard every\u00adday to get there. How\u00adev\u00ader, as a pro\u00adpo\u00adnent of reflec\u00adtive lead\u00ader\u00adship I also [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7031409,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12121,112484,155646,97065,195013],"tags":[23990],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-7031408","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-consciousness","category-listening","category-openness","category-organizational-culture","category-reflective-leadership","tag-putting"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>On Putting Things Together | . - Som2ny Network<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7031408\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"On Putting Things Together | . - Som2ny Network\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I often find myself work\u00ading with teams \u2014 or at least I would say, with groups. Smart peo\u00adple with good inten\u00adtions oper\u00adat\u00ading col\u00adlec\u00adtive\u00adly. Peo\u00adple capa\u00adble and often far more than just capa\u00adble, who want the best for their orga\u00adni\u00adza\u00adtions and work hard every\u00adday to get there. How\u00adev\u00ader, as a pro\u00adpo\u00adnent of reflec\u00adtive lead\u00ader\u00adship I also [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7031408\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Som2ny Network\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-08-07T05:17:43+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/55077237619_f94ee1cfcf_c.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"534\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"8 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7031408#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7031408\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/#\/schema\/person\/b85e3c3dc0e1daea076524dc8810c371\"},\"headline\":\"On Putting Things Together | .\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-08-07T05:17:43+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7031408\"},\"wordCount\":1688,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7031408#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/55077237619_f94ee1cfcf_c.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Putting\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Consciousness\",\"listening\",\"Openness\",\"Organizational culture\",\"Reflective Leadership\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7031408#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7031408\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7031408\",\"name\":\"On Putting Things Together | . - 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Som2ny Network","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7031408","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"On Putting Things Together | . - Som2ny Network","og_description":"I often find myself work\u00ading with teams \u2014 or at least I would say, with groups. Smart peo\u00adple with good inten\u00adtions oper\u00adat\u00ading col\u00adlec\u00adtive\u00adly. Peo\u00adple capa\u00adble and often far more than just capa\u00adble, who want the best for their orga\u00adni\u00adza\u00adtions and work hard every\u00adday to get there. 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