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<\/div>\nTrying to be perfect is scary. Recognizing that we\u2019re not? Also scary. Being okay with that? oh, boy!<\/p>\n
This is such a hard subject, and we have managed to get it so tangled up! On the one hand, we like to think we\u2019re capable and intelligent. Then when we mess up we\u2019re shocked and horrified when we mess up. But on the other hand, we think of ourselves as sinful, fallen mankind. Untouchable. Unworthy. Undeserving of anything good.\u00a0<\/p>\n
And we\u2019re stuck trying to reconcile these two images of ourselves, which never works.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Then along comes the latest sermon or podcast preaching on self-acceptance. How much God thinks of you. And as often as not, we leave that message feeling worse than when we arrived.\u00a0<\/p>\n
This whole concept is scary and confusing sometimes.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Please note that this post contains affiliate links for your convenience. If you make a purchase through one of the links, I may make a small commission. I only recommend books and resources that I\u2019ve enjoyed personally, or believe that you would like. You can read my full disclosure here<\/a><\/em>.<\/a> You will also find information on Scripture translations there. <\/p>\n Let\u2019s take a look at what acceptance means, before we apply it to ourselves. Biblical Acceptance:<\/p>\n These verses will help us learn to accept and love others, but we also have to turn it inward and find true self-acceptance.\u00a0<\/p>\n Yes, I know the verses about the end times and that people will be lovers of self, a negative thing (2 Timothy 3:2). But this is different. That passage is looking at pride, as if we are the ones who achieved greatness (or even existence) on our own and therefore deserve to have everything go our way. Selfish ambition and thinking only of oneself.\u00a0<\/p>\n That\u2019s not what we\u2019re talking about here. That clearly doesn\u2019t match the general application above, much less the specific application we\u2019re focusing on today.\u00a0<\/p>\n Self-acceptance means something similar to genuine humility<\/a>. Which means sober judgement. A realistic view of yourself. Not overinflated, but not dirt, certainly! <\/p>\n Consider Esther and Mordecai\u2019s<\/a> type of humility. They accepted positions of authority that put them in danger. Instead of saying \u201coh, we\u2019re not worthy for such an honor\u201d they stepped up and made a difference. Not for the glory, either. <\/p>\n So why exactly is this all so scary?<\/p>\n It\u2019s scary, because it means facing reality.\u00a0<\/p>\n God is well acquainted with our flaws. All the ways we don\u2019t measure up to the impossible standards of perfection.<\/p>\n And yet, he also sees his own reflection when he looks at us. Because God made us in his own image. And he gave us many of his own characteristics when he did that.\u00a0<\/p>\n We struggle to reconcile the two facts above, viewing them as mutually exclusive. And in some ways, they are. On our own, the flaws, failings, and deliberate, willful sin are overpowering.\u00a0 We desperately want to keep them hidden. Putting our best side forward in every situation. Pretending if necessary, to keep up the image. And that\u2019s exhausting.\u00a0<\/p>\n But God. First of all, when God made us, we were \u2018very good.\u2019 The relationship between him and the first people was amazing. But they, together, listened to a lie. They decided to go their own way. And that fractured the relationship. But not God\u2019s plan, memory or purpose.<\/p>\n If we\u2019re going to be able to accept God\u2019s love for us, we need to take at the way God designed us, and the way he talks about us in scripture. Because reality isn\u2019t necessarily the one that\u2019s been painted for us in churches today.<\/p>\n The Bible says some really important things. They show why we\u2019re worthy, and that God loves us so very much.\u00a0<\/p>\n Psalm 139<\/a> is a glorious passage that I think we could all benefit from reading daily. I will just quote a few of the verses (NLT) here, but I think they capture how well he knows us. This chapter tells us that God handcrafted each of us and thinks well of us. In his eyes, we are wonderfully made, and who are we to be harsh with the apple of his eye? Meaning we need to be careful with our self-talk.<\/p>\n Psalm 139:1, 14, 16-17: O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me\u2026Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!\u00a0Your workmanship is marvelous\u2014how well I know it\u2026You saw me before I was born.\u00a0Every day of my life was recorded in your book. This next one shows what God wants from us. Three things. Love God. Love one another. Love ourselves. So often we focus on the first two, ignore the third, and think we\u2019re doing his will, even if it kills us. And in evangelical Christian circles, that standard is drilled into women from a young age, with sometimes devastating results.\u00a0<\/p>\n Let\u2019s put the balance back where it belongs and begin loving our neighbors as ourselves. Not instead of ourselves, but making sure we invest in our own wellbeing, so our cup doesn\u2019t run dry, leaving us unable to love others at all.<\/p>\n Matthew 22:36-39 \u201cTeacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?\u201d Jesus replied,\u00a0\u201c\u2018You must love the LORD\u00a0your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: \u2018Love your neighbor as yourself.\u2019<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n These next two passages show us that he considered us worthy enough to save and make plans for us in advance. God wants us to be grateful, and do the good things he planned for us, but God\u2019s grace shows that he loved us already. God chose to give us a beautiful picture of how highly he values us, so we can start to believe it too.\u00a0<\/p>\n Romans 5:8 But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Ephesians 2:8-10 God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can\u2019t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.\u00a0 Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.\u00a0For we are God\u2019s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Matthew 10:30 \u201cThe hairs of your head are all numbered\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n God can know us so clearly, and still gives us the gifts of salvation from the penalty of our sin and an eternal relationship with him.\u00a0<\/p>\n He looks at us as we truly are and loves us anyway. That\u2019s the way so many of us picture this concept. But that\u2019s incomplete, and what\u2019s more, it\u2019s inaccurate. Such a negative self-image will never allow us to truly accept ourselves with grace<\/a>.<\/p>\n God created us \u2018wonderfully complex\u2019 as we read a moment ago. We\u2019re not one-dimensional. We aren\u2019t robots. and we aren\u2019t worthless beings that he deigned to rescue so now we owe him perfect service.<\/p>\n I am one year into counseling, and I could easily spend too much time telling you all the ways this has changed my life for the better. But we\u2019ll just focus on one for today.<\/p>\n The idea of self-acceptance, and considering my own needs being important. Because I was made in the image of God, and he began a good work in me long ago. I am loved by God,\u00a0therefore I matter.<\/p>\n I have spent so many years focusing on everyone else\u2019s needs and desires and emotions, that I had lost touch with my own. My \u2018need\u2019 was to make sure everyone else was taken care of, to the point that I was disappearing. But God gave me a few people who started asking questions and helped me to know that God values me for me. Not for the good things I do or the bad things I avoid.<\/p>\n I still struggle, and I\u2019m writing this as much for my own sake as for yours. Because it\u2019s scary to see myself as God does. Accepted. Precious. Worthy. Forgiven. Friend. Because it\u2019s so different than how I thought I was supposed to consider myself.\u00a0<\/p>\n And it feels impossible to measure up sometimes. Like our failures from that point are even worse than the ones when we think we\u2019re invisible.\u00a0<\/p>\n But we know from even a little study of God\u2019s Word that God\u2019s love is tremendous. He has given us value, and we should not dismiss that lightly. If you have accepted his gift of salvation, it\u2019s so much more than a \u2018get out of hell free\u2019 card.<\/p>\n You are now a son or daughter of the king. It\u2019s time to act like it. Not like a power-hungry, spoiled rich kid, but like a real princess (or prince). As a new creation, operating from a place of security. Not to earn forgiveness or crumbs from his table.<\/p>\n When we reach the point of accepting that we matter, that our thoughts, opinions, needs, and wants are allowed to hold just as much space as anyone else\u2019s, amazing things start to happen. The way we interact with others changes.\u00a0<\/p>\n We give ourselves grace.<\/p>\n We no longer have to \u2018measure up\u2019 because Jesus did that part. Because of him, the condemnation we feel for being ourselves loses its sting.\u00a0<\/p>\n This kind of self-love is one that remembers how much God values each of us and allows life to flow from that. Not from fear.\u00a0<\/p>\n Okay, so it\u2019s me. You knew it was coming, right? Well, the last 2 books I read had this theme woven so clearly that I have to feature them here! I received both as review copies from NetGalley and chose to review them here. All thoughts are my own. <\/p>\n\n
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<\/figure>\nSelf-Acceptance Means You See Yourself as God Sees You<\/span><\/h2>\n
Worthy of Love Bible Verses<\/span><\/h3>\n
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Every moment was laid out\u00a0before a single day had passed.\u00a0How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.\u00a0They cannot be numbered!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n
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<\/figure>\nAnd Then You Accept That God Loves You Still\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n
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My Experience<\/span><\/h3>\n
But God Changes Things<\/span><\/h3>\n
<\/figure>\nSelf-Acceptance in Christian Fiction<\/span><\/h2>\n
Brave: King David\u2019s Wives, Book 1<\/span><\/h3>\n