Joanne Tica<\/a> interviewed Peter (Pete) Lalic<\/a> on several occasions to learn more about his mother, Draga, a refugee, and immigrant to the United States.\u00a0 The Obrad Lalic family settled in Gary, Indiana, where Pete and his siblings, Millie and Mike, grew up. They were active members of the Serbian Orthodox Church community in Gary.<\/em><\/p>\n My mother wanted me to become a grocery store manager. In that job, I would stay safe and she could get fresh groceries.<\/p>\n Memory of Draga Lalic by her son, Peter Lalic<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Q:\u00a0 Tell me what you know about your mother\u2019s youth.<\/p>\n My mom, Draga Lalic, lived in a rural agricultural area and grew up on a farm in Dalmatia (former Yugoslavia, now Croatia). We never talked a lot about her youth and ambitions. Her younger brother eventually became a competitive bicyclist in Europe and the family thought that it was a weird thing to do. Her youth was limited because of the timing of the Balkan civil war and WWII. The wars limited both her future and the futures of her peers and family.<\/p>\n I doubt if they even thought about the future as they didn\u2019t know if they would survive the war.<\/p>\n Q:\u00a0 How did your parents meet?<\/strong><\/p>\n They met when they were younger and got to know one another better in the Chetnik organization. They joined the Chetniks together. \u00a0Other than their Chetnik memories, they didn\u2019t talk about their relationship too much with us. <\/p>\n (NOTE:\u2002Chetniks are members of a Serbian nationalist\u00a0force that formed during\u00a0World War II\u00a0to resist the\u00a0Axis\u00a0invaders and Croatian collaborators. They also fought a civil war against the Yugoslav communist guerrillas, the\u00a0Partisans)<\/em>.<\/p>\n Q.\u00a0 You mentioned your early memories of the DP (displaced person \u2013 refugee) camps.\u00a0 Did your mother ever speak of her experiences there?<\/strong><\/p>\n My mother often spoke of the challenges of being 25 years old and taking care of three young kids \u2013 all under 4 years old \u2013 in the DP camps.\u00a0 She was responsible for her family\u2019s survival in that environment. It was not an easy life for her or for anyone in the camps. <\/p>\n She remembered that the ethnic groups stayed together in the camps for survival. Nothing was as important as survival. The camps set up their governments based on ethnicity. The ethnic groups tried to attain some type of normalcy and set up schools, police departments, sporting events (boxing), and soccer teams, to keep people occupied and engaged. Kids born in the camps had birth certificates that were issued by the priests in the camps, not by the state.<\/p>\n My father was a police officer in the DP camp at Buchholz, Germany.\u00a0 Although he eventually got a pension for his work there, my mother was not thrilled about his role.<\/p>\n Q:\u00a0 Your parents eventually emigrated to the United States as refugees.\u00a0 They had other options but held out for the United States.\u00a0 Do you know why?<\/strong><\/p>\n America was the \u201cland of opportunity\u201d. Women looked at resettling more realistically than men because they were caring for children and others. When opportunities were available for permanent resettlement, my parents began the discussion about \u201cwhere do you want to go\u201d and \u201cwhat do you want to do\u201d.\u00a0 The focus of those discussions was always America. America was the dream and not everyone could get there. It was the first choice for most refugees, not just the Serbs. The Serbs came to the United States to work but always expected to return to Yugoslavia someday. It didn\u2019t work out that way.<\/p>\n Both of my parents became citizens of the United States as soon as they could.\u00a0 My mother insisted that Millie, Mike, and I receive our American citizenship documents before we turned 18 years old.\u00a0 She felt that it was an important step for us to stay eligible for opportunities and feel a part of the culture.<\/p>\n Q:\u00a0 You indicated that your family entered the USA through Ellis Island.\u00a0 Did your mother ever speak about that experience?\u00a0 What do you remember about that experience?<\/strong><\/p>\n My mother was very frightened when we arrived at Ellis Island because she didn\u2019t know what would happen to any of us.\u00a0 She told me that I was in the infirmary during the entire journey to the USA and that scared her. In addition to being worried about me, she had heard that sick people were turned away from America. During the entry interview, I got up from the chair and started playing with things on the adjudication officer\u2019s desk.\u00a0 My parents were very scared they were going to be kicked out of the country because of my behavior.<\/p>\n The Ellis Island building where we entered the USA had many stairs. An immigration officer stood at the top of the stairs.\u00a0 During processing, you would get marked with chalk and told to stand in an assigned line. If the immigration officer saw that you had difficulty with the stairs, then you were assigned to a certain line. The healthy people went into the other line.<\/p>\n We stayed at Ellis Island until our processing was completed. The United States didn\u2019t want undesirable or sick people in the country, so if you were either undesirable or sick, you could be sent back. It was a very frightening experience for her and the family. \u00a0<\/p>\n Q. How did your mother like her life in the United States? Was she enthusiastic about the possibilities of her new opportunities and those for her children?<\/strong><\/p>\n My mother was enthusiastic about life in the United States.\u00a0 She felt that life in the USA was good and that it truly was the land of opportunity, but it was not the place she wanted to be. She would\u2019ve preferred to live at home (Dalmatia). However, she knew that the United States could provide her children with a life of opportunity that she did not have.\u00a0 That kept her focused and positive.<\/p>\n My mother felt her lack of English-speaking skills held her back. She did not go to school in the USA.\u00a0 She realized her limitations and did not search out other alternatives for herself. The opportunities were there but she knew she couldn\u2019t balance her schedule to watch her kids, work, and go to school.\u00a0 She sacrificed all her abilities and opportunities for the benefit of the rest of the family. She worked to add more things to the family home and for us.\u00a0 She was able to provide financially for the extras that the family wanted and needed.<\/p>\n My mother was a very practical woman.\u00a0 She was very, very smart. Yet, she worked as a janitress for many years at Gary National Bank. She didn\u2019t feel that larger opportunities were open to her, primarily because of the language barrier. <\/p>\n Q. What do you remember about your mother\u2019s social life in the United States?<\/strong><\/p>\n The activities at the Serbian Orthodox Church people and her friendships with Serbian people comprised her social life.\u00a0 The Serbs had their networks and supported each other.\u00a0 Serbian men always projected that they were in charge but it was the Serbian women who were in charge of everything. They took control in private and never let go.<\/p>\n I should mention that that it was the immigrant Serbs who had a network, outside of the American Serbs who were already established in the United States. The American Serbs didn\u2019t understand us.\u00a0 We never felt accepted by them because they weren\u2019t that welcoming. There was a clear divide in the Serbian community.<\/p>\n The immigrant and refugee women stayed close to the people who could understand their experiences and history. So did the men.\u00a0 Unless you lived through it, you couldn\u2019t understand it. The American Serbs couldn\u2019t connect to these experiences. PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) was a major factor that impacted many within the immigrant population, although there was no name for it at that time. It is truly remarkable how well most of them survived, given the losses and trauma that they had experienced in their lives.<\/p>\n Q. Did your mother raise you and your siblings to be adventurous or to stay close to the Serbian community?<\/strong><\/p>\n My mother encouraged us to make friends with people outside of the Serbian community.\u00a0 She did stress the Serbian connection, but it wasn\u2019t a restrictive environment. Despite her encouragement, however, my mother was frustrated that I was not as connected as she would like to the Serbian community.<\/p>\n She wanted me to marry a Serbian Orthodox woman. She believed that when you marry someone outside of your faith, then there could be trouble.\u00a0 She had seen first-hand the divisive nature of religious differences on marriages and did not want her children to experience those difficulties. <\/p>\n Q.\u00a0 What do you want our readers to know about your mother?<\/strong><\/p>\n My mother was smarter than most people. She cared about her family and the way that they lived. She wanted every opportunity that was available to her children.<\/p>\n She was a compassionate woman with a dry sense of humor. I loved her sense of humor.<\/p>\n WHITE HOUSE \u2013 WASHINGTON DC: My mother (left) and her friend, Sophie, traveled to Washington DC to visit me and my family. Because my mother was visiting me, I was offered a private tour of the Oval Office so they could see this famous place.\u00a0 I was so proud that this was offered to me and very proud to offer this to her.\u00a0 She turned down the offer for a private tour of the White House because it was \u201ctoo much walking\u201d.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n
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