{"id":7027827,"date":"2026-08-05T02:54:12","date_gmt":"2026-08-05T02:54:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/uncategorized\/reflections-from-a-hospital-bed\/"},"modified":"2026-08-05T02:54:12","modified_gmt":"2026-08-05T02:54:12","slug":"reflections-from-a-hospital-bed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=7027827","title":{"rendered":"Reflections From a Hospital Bed"},"content":{"rendered":"


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When I turned 70 in January of last year, I was filled with fresh faith for what God wanted me to do in the coming decade. My thoughts involved writing books, leading music at conferences, working on songs, pastoring in my local church, investing in my kids and grandkids, discipleship, and raising up my replacements. \u201cI want my 70s to be my most productive decade yet!\u201d I told a few friends.<\/p>\n

But in early December, I slipped on ice while on a mini-tour in Harrisburg, PA and ended up in the ER. I found out later I had partially torn my quadratic tendon above the left kneecap. After some physical therapy, I was walking somewhat normally, if carefully, by the end of January.<\/p>\n

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February arrived and I was walking down two steps into my garage. I decided to see if my left leg was strong enough to bear my weight. Evidently not. My knee gave way, completing the tear on my left tendon. As my right leg came around, it hit the stair and I heard a distinct \u201cpop.\u201d For the second time in two months I found myself writhing on the ground, screaming in pain.<\/p>\n

My wife and friends eventually got me to an ER, where I was providentially admitted right away, thanks to a nurse friend who happened to be on duty. The next evening an MRI showed I had completely severed both of my quad tendons. After a 2 hour surgery on Thursday I spent 10 days in the hospital. I then moved to an acute rehab facility for 9 days before I finally went home.<\/p>\n

I know many have experienced more serious and significant health trials. But until now I had never been in a hospital overnight, other than when I was with Julie. And I\u2019ve learned lessons I don\u2019t want to forget. Lessons God knew I wouldn\u2019t learn any other way.<\/p>\n

So I\u2019m writing them down mostly so I\u2019ll remember them. If they\u2019re helpful to you, well, that would be a bonus. And who knows\u2026you might find yourself in a hospital one day!<\/p>\n

1. God defines what fruitfulness looks like.<\/h2>\n

I thought had a good handle on what God wanted me to do and what it looked like. Lots of productivity. Lots of action. Lots of going places. Lots of getting with people and getting things done. Lots of bearing fruit for the kingdom.<\/p>\n

But there I was: legs locked in braces, pain of varying levels (thank God for meds), unable to do anything for myself. Was I just supposed to wait for the day I could walk again before I could be fruitful for the Lord?<\/p>\n

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During the early days after my surgery, Julie sent me a quote from a book she had been reading, He Will Be Enough<\/em>,<\/a> by Katie Faris. It was a defining moment, and I\u2019ve quoted the bolded sentence below numerous times to others since then.<\/p>\n

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Your service might not be what you thought it would be or look the way you thought it would look. Along the way, you may have to redefine \u2018good works;\u2019 remember, our good works don\u2019t have to be spectacular to be valued in God\u2019s kingdom. Suffering with God\u2019s name on our lips may be the very good work he has in mind for you to do<\/em><\/strong>!<\/strong><\/em> (emphasis mine)<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

After cancelling numerous trips and events I had been scheduled to lead or participate in, I had to \u201credefine good works.\u201d And it was a great joy to realize that turning to Jesus as I lay helpless on a bed or in pain brought him glory. It was exactly the good work God had prepared for me to do (Eph. 2:10).<\/p>\n

2. Jesus not only understands but takes our suffering.<\/h2>\n

During the days leading up to the surgery, and especially the days after, nights were hard. Apart from the fact that locked braces, compression boots, and ice packs weren\u2019t my normal sleep practice, the pain was inescapable. But I found myself saying at different times, \u201cJesus, I can\u2019t take this pain. You have to take this for me. I don\u2019t have the resources. Please take it.\u201d And he did.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not sure how grace worked in that moment, but I found relief in knowing not only that Jesus had suffered more than I ever have or will through taking the punishment for my sins on the cross, but that he was with me in my pain and was bearing my burden, just like he promised. \u201cBlessed be the Lord, who daily bears us up; God is our salvation.<\/em>\u201d (Psalm 68:19)<\/p>\n

I\u2019m thankful that advances in medicine have enabled my pain, and the more significant pain of others, to be far less than it would be otherwise. But in the end, only Jesus can bear our greatest suffering. And he has. So he can manage the rest.<\/p>\n

3. The Spirit isn\u2019t limited by our weakness.<\/h2>\n

Being confined to a bed in a hospital room for three weeks isn\u2019t exactly the ideal ministry platform. But as it turns out, my need opened doors. <\/p>\n

As I got to know the people who were serving me every day, I found out some were far from God, others had a relationship with him, while others only thought<\/em> they did. I was able to talk about my church<\/a>, Sovereign Grace Music<\/a>, the Bible, my conversion, and more. As one nurse\u2019s aid was finishing up, she looked at the open Bible on my lap and asked, \u201cDo you have any tips for reading the Bible?\u201d I was happy to oblige. I gave away copies of my book, True Worshipers<\/a><\/em>, and invited a number of nurses and therapists to visit my church.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m pretty sure I have shared the gospel more in the past three weeks than in the past three months.<\/p>\n

4. Worship songs are a means of grace. <\/h2>\n

One would think that since my job<\/em><\/strong> involves producing music that seeks to point people to God\u2019s goodness and glory in Christ, I would know this. I do know this. But now I know it better.<\/p>\n

As a rule, I don\u2019t listen to a lot of worship music. I often find myself evaluating songs when I hear them and generally prefer to sing with others, or when I\u2019m alone, to focus on what I\u2019m hearing. <\/p>\n

Turns out in a hospital bed you have a lot of time to focus. And in the most difficult days after the surgery, God used biblical truth wrapped in melody and harmony to bolster my body and soul. I often began the day with Stillcreek\u2019s song, The Lord is Good,<\/a> to remind myself of realities like this:<\/p>\n

In every trial You go before me
Guiding my steps with grace
You\u2019ve marked my life with lovingkindness
Oh, I can\u2019t help but say
The Lord is good, the Lord is good to me<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cGuiding my steps with grace?\u201d Yes, even the ones that led me to a hospital bed. I listened through our entire Knowing God album<\/a> and found the faith-filled lyrics were sweet balm for a tired soul. Comfort for a weary heart. Strength for a weak body.<\/p>\n

God\u2019s kindness in letting me be on the receiving end of what we do was a mercy I don\u2019t take for granted. <\/p>\n

5. One of the best presents is presence.<\/h2>\n

I\u2019ve been literally overwhelmed with gratefulness by the number of people who have expressed care through texts, emails, calls, and social media. But being on the \u201cinjured\u201d side of injury has also made me aware of the unique impact of just showing up. <\/p>\n

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As soon as McKenzie, our only local child, heard what had happened, she rushed over to the emergency room and stayed for a few hours. When some of our out-of-town kids heard about my accident, they made plans to travel to Louisville at different times to be with us. Once they were here, we had conversations we never would have had. We laughed, we reminisced, we fellowshipped (and played a little Scrabble). <\/p>\n

David Zimmer, my co-worker who is also one of my dear friends, was with me every day before and after the surgery, encouraging me as I started physical therapy. Some times he brought his wife, Julie, and kids.<\/p>\n

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Individuals, couples, and families from my church began to text or email asking if they could just stop by. Most of them asked, \u201cCan I bring anything?\u201d Some did without asking. Parents brought pictures and cards their kids had drawn with prayers for my healing and sometimes sage counsel (No Starse!). Seeing them taped up on my wall was a daily reminder of God\u2019s care.<\/p>\n

Again, I had conversations that most likely never would have taken place apart from them taking the time to come visit me in my hospital or rehab room. Every interaction was a gift.<\/p>\n

And if that weren\u2019t enough, Mckenzie, her husband, Zach, and their 3 kids moved in with us the day I got home and stayed for two weeks to make sure we would have a smooth transition. <\/p>\n

One of the best presents is presence.<\/p>\n

6. The local church is meant to suffer together.<\/h2>\n
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As one of the pastors in my church, I\u2019m aware that a lot of the suffering goes on. What I\u2019m not always aware of is how much caring, serving, and ministry is happening in response. Scripture tells us, \u201cIf one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.<\/em>\u201d (1 Corinthians 12:26) I know that in a fresh way through the way my church has cared for Julie and me in this season.<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve received texts, emails, meals, assurances of prayer, Scriptures, Goetze\u2019s caramels, and dark chocolate (IYKYK). Church members have given us rides, built a new set of steps in my garage (ones that I can go up and down with locked leg braces), and offered to do various household tasks.<\/p>\n

And I know that we\u2019re not receiving special treatment. This is what our church does. This what the church is meant to do, by the grace of God. <\/p>\n

7. Christianity isn\u2019t like physical therapy.<\/h2>\n
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For the first time in my life, not only do I actually have some understanding of what physical and occupational therapists do, I have the deepest<\/em><\/strong> respect and appreciation for them. When you\u2019re lying in bed with no clue as to how you\u2019ll be able to stand up, much less walk, and someone not only teaches you how you\u2019re going to accomplish those things, but does it with joy, care, and thoughtfulness, it feels like they just performed a miracle.<\/p>\n

I told a number of the therapists who worked with me, \u201cI thank God for you. I would have no idea how to begin this process of moving toward rehabilitation, and through your patient instruction I\u2019m starting to have hope it will actually happen some day.\u201d <\/p>\n

The day before I left rehab, I had the opportunity to thank the staff. First, I told them how grateful I was for what they were doing. I thanked them for choosing to go into a profession that gave people such hope. I then commended them for how cheerful, responsive, kind, and thoughtful they were. No one ever left my room without saying, \u201cIf you need anything, just let me know.\u201d They treated me like royalty.<\/p>\n

Then I went on to say, \u201cYou know, people often think Christianity is like physical therapy. God takes messed up people and then he works with us, and we get better. But it\u2019s not like that. The Bible says that we\u2019re dead. We don\u2019t need therapy \u2013 we need a resurrection.\u201d I went on to talk briefly about how even though we\u2019re dead in our sins, Jesus, through his death for us and his resurrection, offers us forgiveness and eternal hope. Then of course, I invited them to check out my church.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know what seeds will bear fruit, but I do know that most people think God just wants to help us better ourselves or improve ourselves. But only Jesus can give us what we need \u2013 new life.<\/p>\n

8. Busy-ness and movement isn\u2019t always productive.<\/h2>\n

I already knew this. But now I\u2019ve experienced it. Until I\u2019m able to walk without braces (which may take 1-2 more months), I spend most days in my new recliner. It\u2019s where I spend my time with the Lord in the morning. It\u2019s where I eat my lunch. It\u2019s where I read. It\u2019s where I send emails from. It\u2019s where I plan and make decisions. It\u2019s where I lead meetings from. It\u2019s where I\u2019ve been watching March Madness from (although the recliner is optional for that).<\/p>\n

Before my fall I often thought going somewhere equated to getting something done. Getting in my car might be doing the Lord\u2019s will. It might also be avoiding doing the deep work I should be giving myself to.<\/p>\n

I still pray my 70s will be productive. But I think I understand better what that means. I want these years to be productive in the way the Lord wants them to be productive. Not necessarily getting alot<\/em><\/strong> of things done, but the right <\/em><\/strong>things.<\/p>\n

Lord willing, I\u2019ll still be writing a few books and songs, leading at a few conferences, equipping the next generation of leaders, and serving in my local church. But I want God to define what my \u201cgood works\u201d are.<\/p>\n

9. I still don\u2019t deserve my wife.<\/h2>\n
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I\u2019ve known for decades and repeatedly told others that when God chose Julie to marry me, he was displaying immeasurable kindness and mercy. My stay in the hospital reminded of that reality.<\/p>\n

Before I entered this season, Julie\u2019s cancer came back for a 3rd time, metastasizing to her bones. She\u2019s been undergoing infusions every three weeks for the cancer and that seems to be going well. But since September she\u2019s has been using a walker due to significant pain in her legs. I\u2019ve loved serving her in whatever ways I could.<\/p>\n

But when I had my legs knocked out from under me, so to speak, she became my caretaker (although she definitely had some help!). When I was in the hospital she came to see me every day but one, enduring intense pain. She arranged dinners for us to share. Encouraged me. Got the house ready for me to come home. She loved me.<\/p>\n

People have commented on our strong faith during this season, but I\u2019m pretty sure we just know we have a strong Savior. Just the other day, I read this in Letters on Living the Faith<\/a><\/em> by C.S. Lewis:<\/p>\n

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Two men had to cross a dangerous bridge. The first convinced himself that it would bear them, and called this conviction Faith. The second said, \u201cWhether it breaks or holds, whether I die here or somewhere else, I am equally in God\u2019s good hands.\u201d And the bridge did break and they were both killed: and the second man\u2019s Faith was not disappointed and the first man\u2019s was.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

We have no doubt that our faith will not be disappointed. We are in God\u2019s good hands.<\/p>\n

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