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<\/a><\/div>\nI have always loved Christmas. \u00a0It is such a magical time. \u00a0I adore the lights, decorations, music and food. \u00a0OMG – the food! \u00a0It gives a great excuse to just eat your face off, for the entire month of December. \u00a0Not to say that I do that. \u00a0Okay, I do. \u00a0Which brings me to another thought. \u00a0How come no one has ever made an appy advent calendar? \u00a0A different delicious appetizer, for every day until Christmas – Dec. 1: sausage rolls, Dec 2: shrimp cocktail. \u00a0Mmmm, shrimp cocktail. \u00a0I think I may be on to something here. \u00a0<\/p>\n
The one thing that can be tricky about the holiday season, is the barrage of questions that it brings about for the littles. \u00a0The standard “it’s magic” response, no longer sufficient for these growing, enquiring minds. \u00a0No. \u00a0They want details. A timeline. \u00a0Forensics. Witnesses. \u00a0They are like the sleuths of Christmas spirit. They will leave no Santa stone unturned. Their festive season scrutiny knowing no bounds. \u00a0<\/p>\n
The first questions are always about Bump. \u00a0He is our elf on the shelf. “Why are Bump’s eyes always looking to one side?” To be fair, I have often wondered this very thing myself. \u00a0His job is supposed to be to watch what the kids are doing and then report to Santa, right? \u00a0How can he sufficiently do this, when his gaze is directed in one direction? If I was the big man in red, this would be something that I would be bringing up in his next performance review. \u00a0“Why does Bump like your candles so much?” Our mischievous houseguest does seem to have taken a liking to my lanterns. \u00a0He hangs from their brackets and hides inside of the lanterns themselves. \u00a0He is lucky that I haven’t accidentally set him on fire. \u00a0Hmmmm….. \u00a0<\/p>\n
The next set of queries on their holiday inquest, are regarding the jolly man himself. \u00a0They wanted to know his origins story. \u00a0“How did Santa start?” \u00a0Shit. \u00a0How am I supposed to know? \u00a0He has been delivering presents and gorging on cookies, for as long as I have been alive. \u00a0Then, the follow-up question. \u00a0“1977?” \u00a01977???? \u00a0Well that’s rather specific. \u00a0I wonder who has been feeding these tiny detectives information. \u00a0Although, in their minds, 1977 is probably so long ago. \u00a0Basically, pioneer times. \u00a0Before there were even computers. \u00a0They are also concerned about the logistics. \u00a0“How do our letters get from here to the North Pole and then into Santa’s computer?” \u00a0This is the moment when I learn something. \u00a0I wasn’t aware that they used computers now in the North Pole. \u00a0I guess it only makes sense. \u00a0The elves probably have cell phones and are creating toy-making tiktok videos.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I may not have all of the Christmas answers. \u00a0I am not equipped to provide the sleuths with all of the evidence that they seek. \u00a0However, there are a few things I do know. I do know that I would definitely buy an appy advent calendar. Dec 3: quiche. \u00a0I do know that our elf, Bump, is playing with fire. \u00a0I also know that Santa’s inaugural year was not 1977. \u00a0For the rest, I stick to the only response I have. \u00a0<\/p>\n
Magic. \u00a0<\/p>\n
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everyone! \u00a0See you in the new year! \u00a0<\/p>\n
Does Mommy need to lose her shit? \u00a0<\/p>\n
Not this week. \u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I have always loved Christmas. \u00a0It is such a magical time. \u00a0I adore the lights, decorations, music and food. \u00a0OMG – the food! \u00a0It gives a great excuse to just eat your face off, for the entire month of December. \u00a0Not to say that I do that. \u00a0Okay, I do. \u00a0Which brings me to another […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7026254,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[100620,162722,11812,162723,116697,189951,116221,132694,111102,132695,132697,162725,132701],"tags":[336,8841,13831,3989],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-7026253","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anxiety","category-christmas-2020","category-coronavirus","category-covid-christmas","category-elementary-school","category-elfontheshelf","category-homeschool","category-kidsplaining","category-mom-blog","category-mom-of-boys","category-neurotic-mama","category-pandemic2020","category-social-distancing","tag-christmas","tag-file","tag-sleuths","tag-spirit"],"yoast_head":"\n
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