A<\/span>ll these decades later, l can vividly recall uplifting interactions with my grandparents \u2014 going back to childhood. I guess that\u2019s why I see the value. But maybe it wasn\u2019t that way for you. So, are grandparents important (beyond babysitting)?<\/strong><\/p>\n Having a confident expectation that someone will listen and understand provides a child wonderful protection against what Barish refers to as \u201cemotional pathogens.\u201d<\/p>\n As is often the case, when I decided it was time to write, subject ideas flew the coop. But a few minutes online filled the gaps.<\/p>\n Dated June 13, 2026, \u201dWhy grandparents matter more than ever for children\u2019s mental health\u201d features the work and wisdom of renowned child psychologist Dr. Kenneth Barish. It appeared on Science Daily<\/em>,<\/p>\n Kenneth Barish, Ph.D.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Dr. Barish is Clinical Professor of Psychology at Weill Cornell Medicine and the Associate Editor of the Journal of Infant, Child, and Adolescent Psychotherapy.\u00a0<\/em>He also wrote the award-winning book, Pride and Joy: A Guide to Understanding Your Child\u2019s Emotions and Solving Family Problems<\/em>. In addition to teaching, writing, and clinical practice, Barish plays jazz trumpet.<\/p>\n For some time now, increasing emphasis has been placed on dividing and destroying the family. Have you sensed it?<\/p>\n Be it in the name of personal and family values, lifestyle preferences, political points of view, spiritual and religious beliefs, perception of societal expectations \u2014 some measure of division or destruction of the family now appears on remedy lists.<\/p>\n As for \u201cAre grandparents important?\u201d: not so long ago, it wouldn\u2019t have been asked.<\/p>\n So let\u2019s see: social media, algorithms, artificial intelligence, chatbots, poor guidance, plummeting societal values, exploitation and trafficking, symptoms of depression and anxiety, substance use (should I go on?) \u2014 our young people have been sold down the river.<\/p>\n Dr. Barish is convinced that any of the above, especially social media, played a major role in the Surgeon General of the United States declaring a youth mental health crisis<\/a> on May 23, 2023. And he believes grandparents can be a powerful source of comfort and recovery support.<\/p>\n Dr. Barish\u2026<\/p>\n We did not evolve to raise children with as little extended family and community support as most American parents have now, Children need grandparents, and they always have.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n How do you feel<\/p>\n A new book from Dr. Barish<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Dr. Barish has a new book: The Art and Science of Parenting and Grandparenting, <\/em>He\u2019s pulled together his 40 years of clinical experience, findings from neuroscience, child development studies, and educational programs for one reason \u2014 to argue that grandparents can play a meaningful role in helping families navigate today\u2019s parenting challenges.<\/p>\n I mentioned in \u201cA Personal Observation\u201d that an increasing emphasis is being placed on dividing and destroying families. Barish believes we need to counter a cultural trend that has increasingly emphasized individual achievement over community and connection.<\/p>\n He lays it down\u2026<\/p>\n Over several decades, America has increasingly become a society of I, not We. In many families and communities, preoccupation with individual achievement has eroded the values of kindness and caring in the lives of our children.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Barish points out that research has linked intense achievement pressure to elevated rates of anxiety, depression, and substance use \u2014 particularly in affluent communities.<\/p>\n He submits that children need a stronger sense of purpose that extends beyond personal accomplishments. As he puts it, \u201cHelping others promotes a greater balance in children\u2019s emotional lives.\u201d<\/p>\n Barish shares that research reviewed by social psychologist Jane Piliavin<\/a> found that helping others is associated with higher self-esteem, lower rates of depression, reduced school dropout rates, improved immune function, and even longer life expectancy. The link just above takes you to the details of her infamous 1969 Subway Samaritan Study.<\/p>\n \u201cMolecules of emotional health\u201d: small but meaningful moments of encouragement, attention, and understanding\u2026<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Barish says grandparents offer more than practical support for parents (that\u2019s the \u201cbeyond babysitting\u201d part). Grandparents can provide what he calls \u201cmolecules of emotional health\u201d \u00a0They\u2019re small but meaningful moments of encouragement, attention, and understanding that help strengthen children\u2019s \u201cemotional immune systems.\u201d<\/p>\n Having a confident expectation that someone will listen and understand provides a child wonderful protection against what Barish refers to as \u201cemotional pathogens.\u201d<\/p>\n Have you noticed there\u2019s a lot of praising going on in households these days: yard signs for birthdays and games, images taken to celebrate breathing, the \u201cI deserve it\u201d selfie.<\/p>\n Barish\u2026<\/p>\n Criticism does not motivate children to work harder. Instead, frequent criticism breeds resentment and defiance, and undermines children\u2019s initiative and effort.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Besides, Barish doesn\u2019t believe all praise is equally beneficial. He\u2019s more comfortable with psychologist Carol Dweck\u2019s<\/a> \u201cgrowth mindset\u201d concept. Hence, he encourages adults to focus praise on effort and learning rather than innate ability.<\/p>\n As he says, \u201cPraise effort, not intelligence or talent. Praise learning, not grades.\u201d<\/p>\n As a grandfather of four, I think this is just brilliantl\u2026<\/p>\n According to Dr. Barish, helping our children and grandchildren do well in life is less about teaching skills and more about having conversations; less about earning rewards and more about learning to cope with painful feelings; less about clearing a path to success and more about strengthening an inner feeling of confidence and pride. Our children will then work harder, bounce back more quickly, show more caring and kindness toward others, and pursue interests with greater enthusiasm, commitment, and sense of purpose.<\/em><\/p>\n All these decades later, l can vividly recall uplifting interactions with my grandparents \u2014 going back to childhood. Tightly wound as I was, and still am, it made a tremendous difference, for which I\u2019m grateful.<\/p>\n Are grandparents important? Well beyond babysitting.<\/p>\n BTW, Grandparents Day is Sunday, September 13, 2026.<\/strong><\/p>\n Here\u2019s the original article on Science Daily<\/em>: <\/p>\n Check out Dr. Barish and see what he\u2019s up to: Kenneth Barish, Ph.D.<\/a> And here\u2019s the scoop on his new book: \u201dThe Art and Science of Parenting and Grandparenting<\/a>.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
Introduction<\/strong><\/h2>\n![\"Dr](\"https:\/\/chipur.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/Ken-Barish-c-Michael-B.-Friedman-e1785278908731.jpeg\"\/)
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<\/p>\nA personal observation<\/strong><\/h3>\n
The comfort and recovery support of grandparents<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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The Art and Science of Parenting and Grandparenting<\/strong><\/em><\/h2>\n
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<\/p>\nChildren\u2019s well-being: purpose matters<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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How grandparents can support children\u2019s mental health<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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<\/p>\nPraise vs. criticism<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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Closing wisdom from Dr. Barish<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Well beyond babysitting<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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