{"id":362924,"date":"2026-08-02T03:48:23","date_gmt":"2026-08-02T03:48:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/uncategorized\/ash-turns-21\/"},"modified":"2026-08-02T03:48:23","modified_gmt":"2026-08-02T03:48:23","slug":"ash-turns-21","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=362924","title":{"rendered":"Ash Turns 21"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n<\/p>\n

Ash is officially S.H.I.T.<\/strong> now.<\/p>\n

So Happy I\u2019m Twenty-one.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

He laughed when I said it. You know, the kind where you know he\u2019s humoring me a bit.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Because twenty-one is a strange number.<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t announce itself loudly. It just sits there, solid and grown. A number that quietly informs you your child is no longer becoming<\/em> an adult \u2014 he already is one. And suddenly, all those years of counting candles and cutting cakes feel like they were leading here.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Ash is 21 today.<\/strong><\/p>\n


<\/strong><\/p>\n

This birthday hit me harder than I expected. Not in a dramatic, sobbing-into-a-tissue way. More like a slow, creeping ache. The kind that sneaks up when you realise you\u2019re no longer at the centre of his world \u2014 and that\u2019s exactly how it should be.<\/em><\/p>\n


<\/em><\/p>\n

This past year, I\u2019ve watched him grow in ways that don\u2019t come with applause.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

He doesn\u2019t need me as much now. Doesn\u2019t ask for help the way he used to. Makes his own calls. Figures things out quietly. And while I\u2019m incredibly proud of the man he\u2019s becoming, there\u2019s a small part of me that still misses being the person he needed for everything.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Parenting teens is funny like that. You spend years teaching them independence\u2026 and then feel oddly lost when it finally works.<\/em><\/p>\n


<\/em><\/p>\n

One of the biggest lessons this year came disguised as sweat, nerves, and a looming enlistment date.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

He was meant to enlist earlier \u2014 in May \u2014 because he failed his IPPT. And instead of sulking or blaming the system (which, honestly, I might have done), he trained. Hard. Relentlessly. And on the very last possible attempt<\/em> before enlistment, he passed.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Of course, it couldn\u2019t be straightforward. Midway through the push-up station, the counting machine malfunctioned. Manual counting kicked in. Fewer reps registered than usual. Zero buffer left.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

So he ran the 2.4km like his life depended on it.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Passed.<\/strong>

\nAnd casually threw in a personal best, just to keep things interesting.<\/em><\/p>\n


<\/em><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think he knows how much that moment meant to me. Not the result \u2014 the resolve.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Then came enlistment. He didn\u2019t ask for it, but he was posted to Commandos<\/strong> for BMT. On the first day, I could\u2019ve sworn I saw his eyes glisten a little. Fear. Of the training. Of the unknown. Of whether he was cut out for this.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

I felt it too. Deeply. I just had the advantage of pretending to be calm. But he went anyway. Endured the ten weeks. Finished what he started.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And just when we thought we could breathe again, he went on to the Basic Airborne Course<\/strong> \u2014 which involved jumping out of a perfectly good plane with a parachute. The wifey and I smiled bravely. Then went home and aged about ten years.<\/em><\/p>\n


<\/em><\/p>\n

But he did it. He landed. He walked away. And something in him shifted.<\/strong><\/p>\n


<\/strong><\/p>\n

The hard work isn\u2019t done yet. He still has over four months of tougher training ahead to earn his red beret, and plenty of unknowns waiting. But if this year has taught me anything, it\u2019s that he has grit \u2014 real grit<\/em> \u2014 even when he doesn\u2019t see it himself.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Outside of all that seriousness, he\u2019s still our boy.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Cheekier. Witty. Occasionally trolling his sister like it\u2019s an Olympic sport. But also talking to her more \u2014 real conversations, shared jokes, easy laughter. Watching their relationship evolve has been one of the unexpected gifts of this stage.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And somewhere in between all the training schedules, the banter, and the late-night conversations, he became a young man.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Twenty-one means he can vote, drink, make life decisions \u2014 and yes, officially be S.H.I.T. But while he\u2019s celebrating that freedom, I\u2019m learning to loosen my grip.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

This is the age where parenting quietly shifts gears.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t get to fix things anymore. Or be the first call. Or swoop in. I\u2019m learning to sit in the passenger seat, hands off the wheel, trusting that we\u2019ve given him enough to navigate the road ahead.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Letting go doesn\u2019t come with fireworks. It\u2019s subtle. It looks like not being asked. Like watching from the sidelines. Like realising your child\u2019s life is getting bigger \u2014 and your role, smaller.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

But here\u2019s the thing.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

In the small moments \u2014 the random chats, the teasing, the way he still comes home and just exists<\/em> with us \u2014 I\u2019m reminded that we\u2019re still needed. Just differently. Softer. Quieter. But still here.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And maybe that\u2019s okay.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Ash<\/b>, if you ever stumble across this one day:

\nYou don\u2019t need to have everything figured out.

\nYou don\u2019t need to be fearless.

\nYou just need to keep showing up \u2014 the way you always have, even when you were scared.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

We are endlessly proud of you. Not just for the milestones you\u2019ve ticked off this year, but for the man you\u2019re becoming \u2014 thoughtful, determined, and quietly strong.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Happy 21st, my boy.<\/strong>

\nGo be S.H.I.T.<\/em>

\nSo Happy. So Human. So very you.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And no matter how far you go, or how grown you get, there will always be a place here \u2014 where you can land, rest, and be held.<\/p>\n

Always.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  Ash is officially S.H.I.T. now. So Happy I\u2019m Twenty-one. He laughed when I said it. You know, the kind where you know he\u2019s humoring me a bit. Because twenty-one is a strange number. It doesn\u2019t announce itself loudly. It just sits there, solid and grown. 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