{"id":361460,"date":"2026-08-01T09:04:33","date_gmt":"2026-08-01T09:04:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/uncategorized\/to-my-first-born-im-sorry\/"},"modified":"2026-08-01T09:04:33","modified_gmt":"2026-08-01T09:04:33","slug":"to-my-first-born-im-sorry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=361460","title":{"rendered":"To My First Born \u2014 I\u2019m sorry."},"content":{"rendered":"


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This letter, To My First Born \u2014 I\u2019m sorry, was written by my friend, Hillary Cole. There is something so special about having your first child, and every child thenceforth until you are done having babies<\/a>, and you can reflect on those years when you were first-time parents. <\/p>\n

\"to\"to<\/figure>\n
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To my firstborn, I would like to officially and, on the record, tell you I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0<\/strong>I\u2019m sorry because you will always get the worst version of me as a mother. <\/em><\/p>\n

I say that only half-jokingly.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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You Were My World<\/h2>\n

For the first almost three years of your life, had someone asked me if I was the best mom in the world, I would have answered unequivocally and quite unabashedly that Yes, Yes, Of course, I was.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

I mean, had they not seen your perfect nursery, painted beautifully with all those clothes washed and folded so neatly? Or that, hello<\/em>\u2014 I took all the requisite courses: prenatal, birth, breastfeeding, and parenting.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

And then when you came, I nursed you on-demand<\/a>, I let you sleep when you needed to<\/a>, I only let people hold you after they had used hand sanitizer.<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0And I held you non-stop<\/a>, barely giving anyone else a chance to do so.<\/p>\n

You were my world, wholly and completely.\u00a0 After a very traumatic entry into this world, nearly losing you, I had finally realized what love was.\u00a0 <\/p>\n

And so, yes, there you have it, I WAS\u00a0the best mom in the world.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Big Sister\u2026 <\/h2>\n

Then, near your third birthday, I had another baby. <\/em> Yes- your sibling joined our little family and you took on the role of the big sister.\u00a0 <\/em> From that day on, I can see that being born first is not really a blessing, my dear.\u00a0 <\/p>\n

I hate to break it to you, but for every ounce of crazy you got from me, your sister has gotten a much calmer version of me<\/a>.\u00a0 Whereas every move you made made me nervous, with your sister I realized babies do some weird things and most of them don\u2019t require a visit to the pediatrician.\u00a0 <\/p>\n

Surprisingly, she has survived many nights<\/a> without me watching her breathe or holding my hand on her chest and taking her pulse. \u00a0Go figure\u2026 When you quit being an only child, I said goodbye to any idea of us all being healthy at the same time!\u00a0 Germs are like a family member these days.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\"To\"To<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n
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With you, my first-born, we went through bottles of hand sanitizer and soap by the case load.\u00a0 <\/p>\n

With the second, she was going to pick up every germ from you anyway, so why panic at every germ \u2013 like when she would occasionally put her mouth on the shopping cart, despite my efforts to keep it away? Once I\u2019ve let it go that far, the gym daycare, preschool, and library group seemed a no-brainer. <\/p>\n

With you, my first born, I traveled with a travel baby-potty<\/a> so that whenever we were out in public, I could go running to our van if you had to go.\u00a0 Your younger sister has gone in almost every imaginable public restroom and, good news for me, learned to go on a regular sized toilet way before you ever did.\u00a0 <\/p>\n

With you, I lost my temper more easily and got easily frustrated when you wouldn\u2019t listen.<\/a>\u00a0 I mean, shouldn\u2019t a 2-year-old listen the first time, get dressed quickly, and buckle in their car seat easily?<\/em> <\/p>\n

But, you see, this apology letter is not really even for these first five years of your life.\u00a0 I mean, it sort of is, but we all know that you won\u2019t remember most of these \u201cmistakes\u201d I made.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"to\"to<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n
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You WIll Always Be My First<\/em> <\/h2>\n

What I\u2019m trying to tell you is this\u2026 you are\u00a0ALWAYS going to be my \u201cfirst.\u201d\u00a0<\/strong> <\/p>\n

You will be the first one to go through those angsty tween years. You will give us our first experience at parenting a teenage daughter,<\/a> during those years those years where you aren\u2019t a little girl, but you certainly aren\u2019t ready to not<\/em> be a little girl.\u00a0 <\/p>\n

You will be the first one to test the limits of my patience<\/a> day in and day out.\u00a0 You will be my guinea pig for reward systems<\/a>, but also for following through on consequences. <\/a><\/p>\n

Mean girls, training bras, curfews, boys\u2026 you will be the first to go through each of these phases.\u00a0 So as with anything in life,\u00a0there will be a learning curve.\u00a0 <\/p>\n

I will learn how to do it better, but you won\u2019t usually be the one to reap that reward. But here\u2019s what I can also tell you.\u00a0 I won\u2019t always get it right with you<\/a>.\u00a0 In\u00a0fact, more often than not, I will probably get it wrong the first time.\u00a0 <\/p>\n

But please, even when you are mad at me, angry at what I wouldn\u2019t let you do, annoyed with what I made you do\u2026please know that in everything I do, in every choice I make, I am always, always,<\/strong> trying to get back to that place where I believe I am the best mom in the world.\u00a0
And it\u2019s no longer me trying to prove it to the world, but to myself. <\/p>\n

Love,
Your Mom<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

First Born<\/strong> Quotes <\/h2>\n

I found some quotes written about First Born children that I wanted to share\u2026 <\/strong><\/p>\n

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  1. \u201cThe moment that changed me forever was the moment my first child was born. I was happy, filled with hope, and thought, \u2018Now I understand the whole point of work, of life, of love.\u2019\u201d \u2013 Paul Theroux<\/li>\n
  2. Join them in their world when they\u2019re little so you\u2019ll be welcome in their world when they get big.\u201d \u2013 L.R. Knost<\/li>\n
  3. \u201cA baby boy has a special way of bringing out the man in his father and the little boy in his grandfather.\u201d \u2013 Tanya Masse<\/li>\n
  4. A daughter is a bundle of firsts that excite and delight, giggles that come from deep inside and are always contagious, everything wonderful and precious and your love for her knows no bounds.\u201d \u2013 Barbara Cage<\/li>\n
  5. \u201cIt is a smile of a baby that makes life worth living.\u201d \u2013 Debasish Mridha<\/li>\n
  6. \u201cThe amazing thing about becoming a parent is that you will never again be your own first priority.\u201d \u2013 Olivia Wilde<\/li>\n
  7. \u201cA baby is God\u2019s opinion that the world should go on.\u201d \u2013 Carl Sandburg<\/li>\n
  8. \u00a0\u201cA baby is something you carry inside you for nine months, in your arms for three years and in your heart till the day you die.\u201d \u2013 Mary Mason<\/li>\n
  9. \u201cI believe the choice to become a mother is the choice to become one of the greatest spiritual teachers there is.\u201d \u2013 Oprah<\/li>\n
  10. \u201cAlways kiss your children goodnight, even if they\u2019re already asleep.\u201d \u2013 H. Jackson Brown, Jr<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

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    \"first\"first<\/div>\n<\/div>\n