Heart surgery for my mom. She needed some caretaking and we\u2019ve been taking shifts. I\u2019m here now. All is well.<\/p>\n
Oh, also\u2026<\/p>\n
This is my 15th<\/sup> straight night in West Virginia.<\/p>\n
Fifteen.<\/p>\n
I mean, it\u2019s possible I\u2019ve lost track of days.<\/p>\n
Because, really, what is time anymore?<\/p>\n
Impossible to measure when people are this<\/strong> friendly.<\/p>\n
Over here, a \u201cquick\u201d conversation can range from 45 minutes to no-memories-of-a-time-before-this-chat.<\/p>\n
Earlier today, I ran into a neighbor at the grocery store. Asked about my mom. We only parted ways because her ice cream started melting. Maybe that\u2019s the cue to say goodbye in West Virginia?<\/p>\n
But, yeah, it\u2019s a nice way of life.<\/p>\n
For example\u2026<\/p>\n
Wanna guess how many Get Well cards are on this mantle? Good luck. Can\u2019t even see the mantle anymore. Just looks like a massive pile of good wishes floating on the wall. Even Rain Man would need a calculator. \u00a0<\/p>\n
Each night brings a new set of friendly visitors. A parade of warm vibes. Tonight, Darlene and Carol will be a bit younger than the usual crowd. And, by that, I mean slightly closer to 70 than 80. No doubt they\u2019ll be delightful. It\u2019s a live stage version of The Golden Girls here each night.<\/p>\n
The doorbell rings.<\/em><\/p>\n
Darlene comes in like she was shot out of a cannon. Pulls me in for a giant hug. As if reuniting with her oldest friend. The kind of hug you get when it\u2019s been way too long.<\/p>\n
We just met.<\/p>\n
Carol holds her arms out. She says: \u201cWhere\u2019s my hug? Oh, are they free \u2013 ok I\u2019ll take two!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
Everyone cracks up.<\/p>\n
The (tea) party is on.<\/p>\n
They sit down for chai. Wait. Darlene has some juicy gossip. She fixed her daughter up with an amazing guy? My mom looks VERY intrigued. Haven\u2019t seen her this alert since the two-hug joke. Ah, this matchmaking story took place during pickleball?<\/p>\n
Unfortunate note: I\u2019ve entered into a coma. <\/em>Please give me a moment. My body\u2019s response is to go limp and unconscious when hearing the word \u201cpickleball.\u201d \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n
Ok, back to life. I hear Darlene talking about how Indian food is much harder to cook. Her daughter and pickleball guy just follow simple recipes.<\/p>\n
Carol: \u201cI don\u2019t like to cook.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
Darlene: \u201cBut you\u2019re so great in the kitchen!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
Carol: \u201cDoesn\u2019t mean I like it in there.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
The room cracks up again.<\/p>\n
Oh, that Carol!<\/p>\n
Random thought: How safe is it to consume chai at this speed?<\/p>\n
Darlene has a granddaughter. I guess she\u2019s a backup dancer for Beyonce. They ask if I know her. Which is such<\/strong> a West Virginia question. Also, are they referring to Beyonce or the daughter?<\/p>\n
(This confusion might be a \u201cme\u201d problem. I don\u2019t actually know what day of the week it is right now)<\/em><\/p>\n
They move on to the topic of heart blockage stuff. But that\u2019s lame. So, they pivot quickly\u2026<\/p>\n
It seems Carol adopted her kids. We\u2019re talking decades ago. Normally, there wouldn\u2019t be much follow-up on that subject. But this is West Virginia. Darlene and my mom want to know ALL the details. When did she tell the kids? How did that conversation go? To be honest, it\u2019s quite a story.<\/p>\n
Darlene smiles warmly and says: \u201cWe\u2019ve really missed this. Haven\u2019t had chai with you in almost a year. Can you believe that?\u201d<\/p>\n
Nobody can believe it.<\/em><\/p>\n
By my count, this is now their third round of chai. Possibly fourth. With no signs of slowing. I add some cookies to the heaping pile of snacks. Carol winks at me.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m unsure how to react.<\/p>\n
A strange giggle comes out of my mouth. \u00a0<\/p>\n
They exclaim this will probably be their dinner. Carol says she needs to lose weight because her pants are too tight. Waits for the response. Too late. We\u2019re on to the next topic\u2026<\/p>\n
Mom asks if they\u2019ve seen any movies recently. Says The Devil Wears Prada is out. Carol claims to have watched it already.<\/p>\n
Mom responds, \u201cNo, there\u2019s a sequel.\u201d<\/p>\n
A debate ensues. <\/p>\n
Plot points are shared.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m pretty sure all three of them are talking about different Meryl Streep movies.<\/p>\n
With that issue \u201cresolved,\u201d mom asks what\u2019s going on with this country. Carol is NOT happy about gas prices. Takes a swig of chai. Tries to calm down. Apparently, copious amounts of caffeine is good for relaxation. \u00a0<\/p>\n
Someone\u2019s phone rings.<\/em><\/p>\n
Either that or a bomb just went off.<\/p>\n
Is there an unwritten rule? As humans get older\u2026do phone ringers need to reach new levels of volume? Is that a law? We\u2019ve got sounds at this table I didn\u2019t even know an iPhone could produce.<\/p>\n
On the line is Darlene\u2019s daughter (Tracy).<\/p>\n
Darlene tries to \u201cclick on the Facetime.\u201d Wants her daughter to see their tea party. Can\u2019t find the button.<\/p>\n
Tracy: \u201cMom, I\u2019m on the interstate.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
Some good news. My ears have recovered from the sonic boom trauma of that ringer. Wait, why did it sound like an old rotary phone? How\u2019s that even possible?<\/p>\n
Carol is teaching them how to play mahjong.<\/p>\n
In my life, I\u2019ve never heard a more confusing description of anything. Also, Carol tends to speak at a low mumble. I\u2019m having a hard time grasping even the basic concept of this game.<\/p>\n
Darlene brings a pad over and says: \u201cCarol, show me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
Turbocharged from her latest cup of tea, Carol writes intensely. Are those symbols? Is this\u2026ancient hieroglyphics? The room is very<\/strong> confused. They decide more chai is needed to solve our latest mystery.<\/p>\n
The phone rings.<\/em><\/p>\n
Once again\u2026I am deaf.<\/p>\n
Because of my hearing damage, I can\u2019t tell who\u2019s on the other line. But she\u2019s asking if anyone saw the rainbow earlier. Current excitement level is off the charts. Was there a pot of gold at the end of it? Or might this be about the caffeine intake right now?<\/p>\n
There seems to be a new hotspot in town \u2013 The Green Door.<\/p>\n
Mom says cocktails are $16.<\/p>\n
They all gasp.<\/em><\/p>\n
Also, how does she even know this? The woman hasn\u2019t ordered a cocktail since Alf topped the Nielsen ratings. \u00a0<\/p>\n
Darlene: \u201cOh yes, it\u2019s very upscale.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
Carol: \u201cNo, that place isn\u2019t upscale.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
Seconds later Carol asks, \u201cWhat\u2019s the green door?\u201d<\/p>\n
This appears to be another Devil Wears Prada situation. Facts are needed. Darlene grabs the wheel. Thanks to her very loud iPhone, she reads an online description of The Green Door.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s handled.<\/p>\n
Until we find out she was reading the description for a different restaurant.<\/p>\n
In Las Vegas.<\/p>\n
Final cups of chai. Gotta be near the half-dozen mark by now.<\/p>\n
They are very<\/em> caffeinated.<\/p>\n
More gushing about the rainbow. Carol can\u2019t believe she missed it.<\/p>\n
They\u2019re starting to fade.<\/p>\n
But, hey, at least they know what day it is.<\/p>\n
Time for a warm goodbye. Lots of bear hugs. I think it\u2019s possible I have a broken rib. Darlene says, \u201cWe\u2019re going to take such good care of your mom.\u201d Not even a tiny part of me doubts her. The door closes.<\/p>\n
5 minutes later, Carol comes back.<\/p>\n
Forgot to grab her sound machine<\/s> phone.<\/p>\n
She says, \u201cI hope we\u2019ll get another rainbow tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n
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