{"id":356998,"date":"2026-07-09T21:48:45","date_gmt":"2026-07-09T21:48:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/activist\/joe-james-i-will-never-be-absent-in-my-childrens-lives\/"},"modified":"2026-07-09T21:48:45","modified_gmt":"2026-07-09T21:48:45","slug":"joe-james-i-will-never-be-absent-in-my-childrens-lives","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=356998","title":{"rendered":"Joe James: \u201cI will never be absent in my children\u2019s lives\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n
<\/p>\n

\n

When I\u00a0heard \u200b\u2018<\/span>Back Together\u2019<\/strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/i>for the first time, it made me cry. That song describes the abandonment and abuse you experienced as a\u00a0child, which led to you leaving home when you were 16<\/span>. I\u00a0wonder how you reflect on that\u00a0now?<\/strong><\/p>\n

My mum and stepfather had just split up, and I\u2019d already felt unsafe and unhappy in that environment. Me and my mum weren\u2019t seeing eye to eye. Whether or not she said the words, \u200b\u201c<\/span>you need to leave,\u201d as a\u00a016<\/span>-year-old kid I\u00a0felt that house wasn\u2019t a\u00a0safe, happy environment for me to live in. I\u00a0would never create an environment for my children that they\u2019re not comfortable living in.<\/span><\/p>\n

In retrospect it [the experiences with his stepfather] definitely traumatised me in some ways. I\u00a0was always worried about being in trouble. I\u00a0told you before, when my stepdad\u2019s car would pull up on the drive I\u2019d literally feel sick. I\u2019d be playing my game and be like, \u200b\u201c<\/span>This guy\u2019s gonna have a\u00a0problem with something.\u201d If he\u2019d just left to go to work, I\u2019d be gassed because he was gone for a\u00a0few hours. You shouldn\u2019t be feeling like that about someone who lives in your\u00a0home.<\/span><\/p>\n

But to give a\u00a0positive I\u00a0took from those negative experiences is where I\u00a0felt I\u00a0was so governed by my stepdad and felt like my freedom was taken away from me for the majority of my childhood, now I\u00a0go the complete opposite way. I\u00a0don\u2019t really let anyone tell me what to do, which has worked to my advantage sometimes because it comes with a\u00a0certain fearlessness. I\u00a0can do whatever I\u00a0want. It can lead me to take a\u00a0lot of risks, but risks come with benefits.<\/span><\/p>\n

Your music has always been coloured by love. On \u200b\u2018<\/span><\/strong>Papercuts<\/strong><\/a>\u2019, which is about the cost of the paper chase, you say, \u200b\u201c<\/span>until you got real love, no man is whole\u201d<\/strong>.<\/strong><\/i> Tell me a\u00a0bit more about that. Where does that love come\u00a0from?<\/strong><\/p>\n

When I\u00a0say that, I\u00a0mean family. Or any\u00a0<\/span>real\u00a0<\/i>love. Until you have something to pour your love into, what\u2019s everything even for? I\u00a0only like making money to share it with people I\u00a0love. Until you have people to share things with, and share love with, I\u00a0feel like no matter what you\u2019re searching for, you\u2019re gonna feel\u00a0empty.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve got a\u00a0lyric where I\u00a0say: \u200b\u201c<\/span>I love money like middle-aged women love Debenhams,\u201d [laughs]. Bro, we\u2019re all guilty of it [chasing money] sometimes. But what do you want it for? Is it to share? Is it to do good things with? There\u2019s nothing wrong with wanting nice things but there\u2019s no possession I\u00a0have that could be taken away from me and I\u2019d be upset about\u00a0it.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a\u00a0timely song because young boys and men who are enticed by the manosphere are told that money and material things define their worth. When all that is stripped away, where do we find our\u00a0worth?<\/strong><\/p>\n

In how you treat people, and how you treat yourself, how clean your heart is, how clean your soul is. All that manosphere stuff encourages isolation and stoicism. It\u2019s \u200b\u2018<\/span>make money, make money\u2019. But when everything is stripped away, where is your mind actually at? Are you naturally a\u00a0nice, pleasant person? Do you wake up happy? Do you want to do nice things for people without even the thought of receiving anything in return? If the answer is no, maybe work on yourself for a\u00a0bit instead of falling into that space. They [manosphere influencers] say, \u200b\u201c<\/span>If you\u2019re not on what we\u2019re on, you\u2019re a\u00a0weak man.\u201d I\u00a0don\u2019t rate them man there, nah. I\u2019m not on anything that\u2019s not about spreading love. I\u2019m interested in things rooted in love. Anything else outside of that, I\u00a0don\u2019t really care about, bro.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

The album\u2019s title\u00a0<\/strong>The Ends Never Ends<\/strong><\/i> really resonates with me. I\u00a0moved back to Edmonton for a\u00a0year with my missus and daughter, and was struck by how troubled I\u00a0felt when I\u00a0was there. What are the implications of the ends never ending?<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s the perpetual cycle. No matter what you\u2019ve achieved, if you\u2019re from where we\u2019re from, there are certain things that ground you back to a\u00a0place. And that place you\u2019re grounded in is not always a\u00a0good place. Like, I\u00a0might go and link someone who I\u00a0haven\u2019t seen in years, just to check how they are. And they\u2019re on a\u00a0completely different thing from me. They\u2019re still hitting licks and robbing grows [committing crimes]. You get that survivor\u2019s guilt, where you\u2019re like: \u200b\u201c<\/span>How can I\u00a0help this person?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

That doesn\u2019t even factor the violence. I\u00a0might be removed from it but if someone I\u00a0care about has been hurt because of this, I\u2019m still emotionally invested in that person. So even though I\u2019m not in that place at all, I\u00a0still feel like I\u2019m involved. It\u2019s difficult. That\u2019s why there\u2019s a\u00a0hearse in the album artwork. You could be anywhere, you could be Damson Idris from <\/span>Peckham<\/span><\/a>, doing leading roles in Hollywood but you\u2019re still going to funerals of young men you went to school with. That\u2019s the reality for a\u00a0lot of people. You don\u2019t have to reach stardom to feel that. You could\u2019ve just moved on from living in a\u00a0certain environment and be working as an Amazon delivery driver, trying to remove yourself from that place, but there are still things that will bring you back to\u00a0it.<\/span><\/p>\n

My first night back in Edmonton with the girls was fireworks night. I\u00a0was already feeling a\u00a0sense of guilt about us having to move back in with my mum. Then these lads fired a\u00a0rocket at the bedroom window that my missus and daughter were looking out from. I\u00a0resolved to stay calm but before I\u00a0could do anything my mum was already out the front door, so I\u2019ve gone from not wanting to overreact, to charging out the house, thinking, \u200b\u201c<\/span>Nah, if these pricks disrespect my mum, we\u2019re getting it cracking.\u201d I\u00a0felt like I\u00a0was 16<\/span>\u00a0years old and full of rage again. That year put a\u00a0lot of strain on me psychologically.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m sorry, man. When I\u00a0was a\u00a0kid, I\u00a0had a\u00a0lot of problems with stupid shit, gang shit. I\u00a0had that madness [an altercation when he was 13<\/span>] in that car park I\u00a0showed you in Southend. There was a\u00a0period of like a\u00a0year after where I\u00a0was traumatised. My mind was in a\u00a0dark place. I\u00a0was in a\u00a0constant state of being at war inside my head. I\u00a0was always thinking the worst is gonna happen. It created a\u00a0very paranoid space for me to live\u00a0in.<\/span><\/p>\n

You have a\u00a0really beautiful connection with <\/strong>nature<\/strong><\/a>. How important has that been in helping you break out of that dark, paranoid space? But also, what\u2019s it been like to share that connection with the guys you grew up with? On the album\u2019s title track, you say, \u200b\u201c<\/span>I\u2019m the one who took the booters hiking.\u201d I\u00a0love that.<\/strong><\/p>\n

For me, it\u2019s very freeing. When I\u00a0go to <\/span>Jamaica<\/span><\/a>, they call me an \u200b\u201c<\/span>earthy yout\u201d [laughs]. I\u2019m naturally that way inclined. I\u00a0was that kid with a\u00a0magnifying glass and a\u00a0book open, looking for different bugs outside. I\u00a0do these things naturally. I\u00a0think it\u2019s been important to show people from where we\u2019re from that these things are accessible. All the energy and adrenaline you\u2019re channeling into other, less productive stuff can go into things like <\/span>hiking<\/span><\/a> or kayaking on the river. We can do these things, bro.<\/span><\/p>\n

When I\u2019m in Brazil with my friend who\u2019s the same age as me, and has spent eight years in jail, and I\u00a0know where his mind is at because I\u2019ve grown up with him and seen him in his most paranoid state, suffering from PTSD<\/span>. And now he\u2019s standing under a\u00a0waterfall in Brazil, after hiking in the mountains. And I\u2019m just looking at him and he\u2019s the most relaxed I\u2019ve ever seen him, ever. He\u2019s at complete tranquility. That\u2019s very important to\u00a0me.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n