Last week, I cleaned out my 11yo\u2019s backpack.<\/p>\n
Hold me.<\/p>\n
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The experience has me shook, and not just in the typical \u201cmiddle-schoolers are disgusting\u201d way (though he definitely is.) It\u2019s actually got me worried about his future.<\/p>\n
When Detective Munch was diagnosed with ADHD<\/a>,\u00a0@momandburied<\/a>\u00a0and I were introduced to so-called \u201cexecutive functions,\u201d i.e., adaptable thinking, planning, self-monitoring, self-control, working memory, time management, and organization.<\/p>\n We learned that ADHD interferes with those skills, which are essential to the everyday self-regulation most of us take for granted. Unfortunately, we clearly haven\u2019t learned how<\/a> to teach them.<\/p>\n This photo shows just a few of the papers I found crumpled up, folded, and covered in crumbs inside his bag: homework, in-class worksheets, even timely information he was supposed to relay to us. (This was our first time seeing them, of course!)<\/p>\n That wasn\u2019t even close to everything. Before I took the photo, I\u2019d already thrown out a ton, dumped 6 months\u2019 worth of nasty snack residue, and put any remaining essentials into his binder.<\/p>\n Yes, he has a binder. We bought him one in September because binders are basic back-to-school gear \u2013 and because we know being well-organized is both paramount and problematic for an ADHD kid.<\/p>\n We should have known that a binder wasn\u2019t going to solve things, just like repeatedly reminding him to complete his morning tasks doesn\u2019t get us out the door any faster, and how scolding him for forgetting to do those things doesn\u2019t help either. We need new tools.<\/p>\n He was diagnosed with ADHD four years ago (listen to my wife and I discuss the road to that diagnosis on my podcast<\/a>) and there are still a lot of things we are struggling to manage<\/a>. I often find myself worrying more about the emotional aspects (anxiety, low self-esteem) than the well-known concentration\/hyperactivity factors \u2013 and then I open his backpack.<\/p>\n The scary part is: it\u2019s only going to get harder.<\/p>\n As he progresses through school, having his shit together will be even more important. Eventually he\u2019ll have to handle it all \u2013 his schedule, his schoolwork \u2013 on his own. Which makes it all the more important that we help him learn these skills now.<\/p>\n I think I\u2019ll start by making him clean his own backpack.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
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