My first Hence, when Our tickets The The second Only when I have We trooped A few hours I was both, I had been The My spirits The chanting Later, as I As our Meanwhile, My walk I remember Despite the The
\ntrip to Vaishnodevi<\/i><\/b> was unimpressive. Climbing was hard, and it only served to
\nhighlight how badly out of shape I was, while my in-laws managed to cope so
\nmuch better. Further, I hadn\u2019t quite realized that the cave experience wouldn\u2019t
\nbe the same as I had imagined, since the original cave was only opened at
\ncertain times a year, and that we only entered a newly created tunnel, one far
\neasier to access, and hence more manageable with the crowds that thronged the
\nmountain shrine. The resulting experience at the shrine, for barely a fraction
\nof a second, hardly compared to what I had expected \/ imagined \/ heard about.
\nSo, for me, Vaishnodevi was like any other temple, nothing to write home about,
\nsomething that was reflected (though not explicitly mentioned) in the blog post I wrote then.<\/a>![\"\"](\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEjg0brNzhaM9rzFGH50wQUIbzkAKiWN0jyBfbWqVoe9X7vHjV4gHstD7rsEccdVNtnxon1kuZ3VZguQjMUJ_jzXcV7cUDiZx6GU1I_hZoT7PXmp8w2paYa3__AxPKgp3trlyPKD89kbJYINWdtTTXPQUhsLlqKamNFikx71lujneOBARpHE105a5mE6hx5C=w517-h640\")
\nthe group I went to Pandharpur with<\/i><\/b>, planned to go to Vaishnodevi, I wasn\u2019t too
\nexcited. But Shankar hadn\u2019t visited Vaishnodevi, and he was keen to go, and in
\nsome corner of my mind, the idea of singing bhajans with the group at the
\nsacred site was an exciting idea, one that could possibly redeem my experience
\nof the shrine. But I was uncertain. My 2nd<\/sup> semester exam dates had
\nyet to be declared, and I couldn\u2019t possibly risk it. But then, the university
\ndidn\u2019t seem to be in a hurry to declare the dates anyway, so we decided to go
\nahead and book tickets, with the only provision that they be refundable, so
\nthat I could cancel, if necessary, at the last moment. So, it was planned \u2013
\nthat we would head to Amritsar first and then to Katra, and the group would
\nsing, either at Katra or at Vaishnodevi, depending on the permissions, on the 4th<\/sup>
\nof June.
\nto Amritsar<\/b><\/i> had just been booked, when the university declared that our exams
\nwould begin on the 6th<\/sup> of June. Once again, I was in a dilemma.
\nShould I still go ahead, or should I simply cancel the tickets and focus on
\nstudying? My risk-averse nature (as Shankar calls it) was all for cancelling
\nthe tickets. But somewhere deep within me, I knew that this trip could be
\nsomething special. It would have its challenges (I didn\u2019t realize just how
\nchallenging it would be!), but it would be memorable. Besides, I had a full day
\nwith me to return back to Mumbai in time for my exams. In any case, there was
\nlittle chance of me learning anything in the last minute. I knew from past
\nexperience that the university would come up with the time table less than a
\nweek before the exams, and the hall ticket would probably be ready only the day
\nbefore. Instead of sitting at home and fretting about it, I might as well go on
\nthe trip and enjoy myself. And so, it was decided. I booked my return by flight
\nfrom Delhi, and resigned myself to doing what studying I could before I left.
\nchallenges turned out to be far more<\/i><\/b> than I imagined. First, my son insisted on
\na family holiday before he came back home, so off we went for a week to Binsar.
\nReturning home from that trip, we had about a week before we had to leave again
\nfor Delhi. In the middle of all this, the Go First fiasco happened, and our
\nflight to Amritsar was cancelled. We had to rebook by train since the available
\nflights didn\u2019t work for us. Thankfully, we had quite a lot of our group with
\nus, and the journey to Delhi by train was an enjoyable one. At Delhi, while the
\nothers went to rest, I decided to take Shankar to a Ganesha temple at Connaught
\nplace built by his grand uncle, Shankar Iyer, which he hadn\u2019t visited so far.
\nThis is one of the temples I have been going to since I was a kid, while he had
\nnever visited, so we spent our time in Delhi at the temple, and making a quick
\nvisit to the National Museum. ![\"\"](\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgCS8jN9YUwnfst7JhiaBfl7Xe400xtTfx5rVblDxULBNWgSFquhzzla6BYYCTPDm24wK6gTGOfCLUWqonm-wULbTcg2pOB1jX4giR4dup9PGnCD9XrwoQK4rlO-NdUmSoku3DITytpevuPve8NgEILnOcOhoZzLtohzNOgbvKUl4CsrUib9arfSEJk7b_7=w477-h640\")
\nhalf of our journey<\/b><\/i> turned out to be way more adventurous. We had been booked in
\nthe Garib Rath to Amritsar. What we hadn\u2019t realized, because this was a last-minute
\nbooking, based on availability, that this train was coming from Saharsa in
\nBihar. It turned out to the worst train I have ever been in\u2026. and I have been
\ntravelling by train for the last 48 years, and have had some not-so-great
\nexperiences! The train was filthy \u2013 looked and smelt like a pigsty. There was a
\nmix-up of the seats allotted to us, and there was a whole lot of confusion
\nbefore the issues were resolved. Finally, about an hour into the journey, we
\nmanaged to settle down, more than 4 to a seat, which apparently, is the norm
\nfor the Garib Rath. Added to this crowded confusion were RAC and waitlisted
\npassengers, so you can imagine just how packed the train was. To add to the
\nmisery, in our adjoining compartment (where some of our friends were), a window
\nwas actually broken, the AC didn\u2019t work, and the breeze wasn\u2019t enough. I
\nshudder to think how they managed! And to top it all, the train had arrived
\nlate, and continued to move at a snail\u2019s pace. We eventually arrived at
\nAmritsar close to midnight, the train almost 3 hours late. For the first time
\nin my life, I was glad I was travelling with a group. If it hadn\u2019t been for my
\nwonderful companions, this journey would have been absolute hell, and I
\nprobably wouldn\u2019t have lasted through it. Had I been alone, I would have given
\nup somewhere midway, got off, and probably returned back to Delhi!
\nwe alighted at Amritsar<\/i><\/b> did we realize that those among our group who had flown
\nin, had their share of troubles. The hotel we had been booked in was a
\ndisappointment, and they had spent much of the evening trying to find a better
\nplace for us all. We all checked into our rooms way past midnight, and there
\nwas little chance of us getting to the Golden Temple by 4 AM as originally
\nplanned. We decided to grab a couple of hours extra sleep, and leave for the
\ntemple around 6 AM. ![\"\"](\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgCIhg9hjvLzJ-_TfbWjFTSuZDXuc5zzJPhfIvxhS_0E5eGNIQRDda_UYzzkbNk5pjp6wHppHUsTFFsMZm2quAjjQ1hn3_WSlDI5LA7c3hqSl97XudUxRBckFVikUbr1rqLiY7xUldNmQYHOYz53_NpGl4yfHp2vfzwws5-PYIpp8fEBnJFLJdfDcbyI6ZR=w640-h627\")
\nvisited the Golden Temple<\/b><\/i> at Amritsar a number of times, but never had I seen
\nit so crowded. Besides, there was so much security at every corner because of
\nthe approaching anniversary of Operation Blue Star, that half the approach roads
\nto the temple were closed, and autos weren\u2019t easily available. A friend had visited
\njust a couple of weeks earlier, and she had taken over 3 hours for darshan. We
\ncounted ourselves lucky that we managed in around 1.5 hours! Then it was time
\nfor langar, and head on to our main destination, Katra.
\ninto a bus arranged for us<\/i><\/b>, and proceeded to try to catch up on some sleep. We
\nstopped en route<\/i> for a late lunch and a short bhajan session somewhere
\nnear Pathankot. In the middle of all this, I developed a raging headache which
\nrefused to go away. I heaved a sigh of relief when we finally arrived at Katra
\nand found our way to our rooms. I barely had energy to put my phone for
\ncharging before I crashed.
\nof sleep<\/b><\/i>, and it was time for the big day. Shankar was going to walk both ways.
\nI was taking the helicopter up, and planned to walk down with him. He left
\nearly with the others who had decided to walk, while I took some more time to
\nrest, and have breakfast before heading to the helipad. ![\"\"](\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEggmHLk5Hn2cDE-er7rulE2pVO8MuyXjpvGbyQhDfF1YkSZBDC2OilSvG7aGsNT14QP_yxEjfKGMWN-eRTFBiv7QY6OU8JTzr9XKUmnZvQFA7H7HNNT_czAEkHKUgpYLcs8DKKfbbezGKXX2fGOp7c31Woooy9jJSuxe3KZygZhLgzhYVnGuH5OQbUlGBdi=w640-h294\")
\nexcited, and nervous<\/i><\/b> about the helicopter ride. This would be my first time,
\nand I don\u2019t do too well with heights and sudden lift offs. But it was way
\nbetter than the alternative, and so, I was all set to deal with it. My flight
\nwas among the earliest in our group, so I arrived at the helipad early, and
\nfound it extremely well organized, which lifted my spirits. First, we had to
\nmake our RFIDs, which was a quick process, then verify our tickets, get our
\nboarding passes, and head to the waiting area in the helipad van. As I awaited
\nmy turn, my hands itched to click photos, but the huge No Photography signs
\nwere an effective deterrent, and I held myself back, choosing to enjoying the
\nmoment instead. Watching the helicopters land and take off was terribly
\nexciting, and I loved the efficiency of the whole process. The rotors of the
\ncopter hardly stopped! They slowed down, while the existing passengers got out
\nand the new ones got in, and the copter took off within minutes! I loved how
\nthey managed the weight, arranging people and bags, and I was hugely amused, as
\nwell as impressed, that they confiscated all our phones!
\nworried about the lift-off<\/b><\/i>, but it was so quick, that I hardly even realized
\nit. As we gained altitude, my attention was immediately captured by the snow-clad
\nmountains in the distance, and all my fears, as well as the nagging headache,
\nsimply disappeared! I couldn\u2019t take my eyes off the snow-clad mountains for the
\nentire duration of the flight, which, as it turned out, only lasted a few short
\nminutes. ![\"\"](\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEiojBPUQLgUQ-AdtaCRTHvWCP5VMVDCa4W-quXJpI-FVK0lqjiSdXHmHCK8qNLgSDsBvWucKzLmW-lmv99G1WfkeOnUx3WSgBHNRR1r_KKBqnv2YIi9bJpbCQWzGBC1lbrlSg_sccNGzt3PyslKfCj_GAhLnKD6hC6rhrSoHgcKjwfF07NdPTNl_DMC1aXB=w640-h294\")
\ntemperature when we alighted<\/i><\/b> was clearly far below that at Katra, and the
\nbracing air only helped dissipate my headache further. I chose to ignore the
\ndolis and horses, and decided to walk the 2 or 3 km to Bhawan from Sanji Chhat,
\nwhich is where the helipad is located. To my delight, the path was empty, and I
\ncaught glimpses of the snow-clad mountains as I walked.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEjBlUb-kwOtJ0ZnOjU_aAEVrrF-vLWR76KW9RXWEqiZQXMd15vvopAxwNrtGrAfWU-3E3a18ZsK7L-m1BUz2EFGEdZ4wEdcOEPJANQvgsbB6Ogd1Ns6kXwQJ90nQuNxDDp914RP3nD6yGDrZMbqTRwR65RuT6chthmcKMQIOmA3PvJ5urbdjMa27TtwhFr2=w293-h640\")
\nhad been lifted<\/b><\/i> by the helicopter ride, and they continued to be elevated as I
\nwalked alone along the path. I found it extremely ironical, that here I was,
\ntravelling along with a group, yet, once again, I found myself alone, something
\nwhich I enjoy\u2026. Even as the thought crossed my mind, over the loudspeakers came
\nthe sound of chanting of slokas, beginning with Aumkaaram Bindu Samyuktam, and
\na few others, followed by chanting of Vedic mantras, starting with the Rudram,
\nand then many more suktams. This doesn\u2019t seem especially significant, does it?
\nBut it does, because my connection with Swami is through Balvikas, where we
\nbegin our class with the Aumkaaram sloka. Similarly, my knowledge of Vedam
\ncomes entirely from my connection with Him. While my association with the group
\nis through my husband who has a far closer connection to Swami, as one of his
\nstudents, my personal connect to Swami is through Balvikas, and Vedam is
\nsomething I enjoyed learning, the very notion of his, of women learning and
\nchanting Vedam being a liberating idea which I love. As I walked down that
\npath, chanting along with the loudspeaker, there was only one thought in my
\nmind \u2013 that I was not alone. Never have I felt closer to Swami as I did then! ![\"\"](\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEj2BIm0PVvHLCP1tTmzxkvl0UDQ62i0OrANs7rHbhMXW5JEmSzg1w8CDzYVTT3Z4z5f0SzJlIwHgEgs9AT4qZ-5b7NPky4dX2vgfJCCBh-l7a7mlzocNTyUJgk9WywrbgnR3fdDHk94CUHpNEmC6JXHwKce84_fO2btwaRsZ8cDFR5hGQUvHHqD_oJQvN0Z=w640-h478\")
\nceased<\/i><\/b> as I walked into Bhawan, and I tried to find my bearings, figuring out
\nwhere exactly to go, the queues of devotees being a daunting sight. Eventually
\nI found my way to a locker, which took me almost an hour to get to, and deposit
\nmy belongings. Now I was faced with the dilemma of how to get into the never-ending
\nqueue before me. Eventually, I walked up to one of the CRPF officers and
\nexplained my situation. He probably took pity on me, seeing the state I was in,
\nhuffing and puffing from my long walk, and told me to come along. He led me
\nalong the path, and handed me over to someone else. This officer led me to
\nanother, and then another, until finally he opened a gate and allowed me to
\njoin the queue just before the climb up to the cave began. Thanking the gods,
\nand the officers for their help, I joined the queue, but it still took me
\nalmost an hour more to reach the shrine. Meanwhile, I began talking to another
\nfellow devotee in the queue, and both of us rued the fact that we would not be able
\nto enter the main cave. Suddenly, the line that till then had been steadily
\nmoving, stopped as we turned a corner, and there, right in front of us, was the
\noriginal cave entrance, covered in gold, and barricaded. As we stood there,
\nsomeone was brought in, and allowed to enter the cave, evidently a VIP of some
\nstature. For the next 20 minutes, we stood there, right in front of this cave.
\nWe might not have been allowed inside, but standing there, singing what devi
\nbhajans I knew, chanting the slokas I knew, my heart was full. I was in the
\npresence of the goddess in her original shrine, something I had craved for, as
\nI had weighed my options about visiting the temple. Yes, I might have not been
\nallowed inside the cave shrine itself, to see the goddess in all her glory, but
\nthis was the closest I could come to, as a member of the general public. And
\nfor the moment, this was enough.
\nmulled over my experience<\/b><\/i>, I wondered why I was so fascinated by the cave
\nitself rather than the goddess, and realized that for me, it is her presence in
\nthe narrow, difficult to approach cave, hidden deep within the mountain, that
\nfascinated me.\u00a0 Her presence was
\nsignified, not by the stone idol in the shrine, but by her presence in the cave
\nitself. Difficult though it might have been to access, experiencing that
\ndifficulty by itself represented the experience of the goddess. I had heard
\nstories of how difficult it once was, to climb the mountain. Today, that has
\nbecome far easier, with horses\/ dolis\/ helicopters. The cave itself was the only
\nchallenging portion, and that too has become easier. It is the effort that we
\nput into going to see her, that defines our experience with her, and somehow,
\nthe new tunnel has only reduced that experience further for me. Standing in
\nfront of the original cave entrance, I put all my energy and thought into focusing
\non the goddess inside, and somehow, there was a connect far deeper than I felt later,
\nduring my momentary glimpse of her in the shrine.
\nqueue began to move once again<\/i><\/b>, I spotted a couple of people from our group
\nahead of me. They had been on a later flight, but had made it earlier because
\nthey had taken a doli, and had bypassed the locker queue by having someone wait
\nwith their belongings. As we walked into the tunnel, I caught up with them, and
\nwe had darshan of the goddess together. It was extremely satisfying to think
\nthat, alone though I might have been for most of the journey, at the
\nculmination, I was with my group, with someone I had interacted with closely.
\nWe parted ways once again after darshan, since they were flying back, while I
\nwas still intent on trying to see how far I could walk down.
\nI realized <\/i><\/b>that my husband and his friends were way behind me, and waiting for
\nthem would be no use, especially since they had left their phones behind in the
\nlockers. And so, I decided to start walking down by myself, hoping that someone
\nwould catch up with me.
\ndown was memorable <\/b><\/i>in other ways than the walk from the helipad. For one, the
\nroute was way more crowded, and it was far more tiring, even though it was
\ndownhill. I had to take frequent rests, but even then, I was drained by the
\ntime I reached Ardh Kunwari. The experience was enlivened by multiple conversations
\nI had with people along the way, especially when I had taken breaks. I was most
\namused at the curiosity people showed about me walking alone, without a group
\nor even family members! Meanwhile, our bhajan had been scheduled at the Shrine
\nBoard office auditorium at Katra, and I realized that I had no way of reaching
\non time, if I decided to test my walking capabilities further. And so, I decided
\nto splurge and hired a doli to get me back to Katra in time.
\ntaking a horse<\/i><\/b> on the way down during my first visit to Vaishnodevi, and that
\nwas an experience I shall not forget. I almost wished I had continued to walk!
\nMy back and my hips ached for days, and the road felt like a perilous sight
\nfrom atop a horse. Hence, the choice of a doli this time. But I underestimated
\nhow guilty it made me feel, to have four people carry me. I ended up paying
\nextra to them, to cover my guilt, and made a mental note to book the helicopter
\nboth ways, in case I ever decided to do this again!
\nchoice of doli, <\/b><\/i>I didn\u2019t have time to go to the hotel and freshen up. I headed
\nstraight to the shrine board office, where a few others were waiting. The only
\npeople who had arrived in time were those who had chosen to fly both ways, or
\nsome who left early and took horses\/dolis and returned by air. The rest were
\nstill somewhere en route<\/i>, at different stages of the journey back to Katra.
\nAs we exchanged experiences, people trickled in, and eventually we were able to
\nstart the bhajan.
\nauditorium had a stage<\/i><\/b>, which was the natural focal point, but far more
\nattractive was the view from the windows, of the mountain and the Ardh Kunwari
\ntemple. There was also a photograph of the goddess, but the view trumped even
\nthe photograph. It was decided that we would face the mountain as we sang, and
\nI couldn\u2019t take my eyes off, for the hour and half that we sang along. While it
\nwas the mountain in front of my eyes, what I could actually see was the
\nentrance of the cave, which was etched in my memory, from the 20 minutes of
\nstanding in front of it.
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEjUYUlh-L9NQ-WHmKnxprlWhk9pKzKoGKFI8qqtNNsP8IMYBDkLFmcBFsDyVpNF1mRSaj1J6UAG-hqbepGfP9H7ncZ5UkEQsao_rVrDWt5GEzna9QRTD65uebsnQPmlOM7DP5c2N5nw80i480VVbeLJslDAwTvXk1hvV6BuiwVsnLlSrhVucj0pmp_lMGy9=w640-h294\")
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