{"id":34276,"date":"2025-01-18T06:34:08","date_gmt":"2025-01-18T06:34:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/apartment\/wake-me-up-when-november-ends\/"},"modified":"2025-01-18T06:34:08","modified_gmt":"2025-01-18T06:34:08","slug":"wake-me-up-when-november-ends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=34276","title":{"rendered":"Wake Me Up When November Ends."},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"19842\" src=\"https:\/\/www.ourlittleapartment.com\/wake-november-ends\/img_3120-jpg\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/www.ourlittleapartment.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/img_3120.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"768,1024\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;2.2&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;iPhone SE&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1509278514&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;4.15&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;40&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.0083333333333333&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"img_3120.jpg\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/www.ourlittleapartment.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/img_3120-225x300.jpg\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/www.ourlittleapartment.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/img_3120-768x1024.jpg\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-19842\" alt=\"\" width=\"555\" height=\"740\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.ourlittleapartment.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/img_3120.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.ourlittleapartment.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/img_3120-225x300.jpg 225w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 555px) 100vw, 555px\"\/><\/p>\n<p>Hello and welcome to my debbie downer corner of the internet. Want to know why I hate this time of year? Pull up a chair. Let me share. (Or click x and escape the sadness.)<\/p>\n<p><strong>November 15:<\/strong> The due date for my first miscarriage. A tiny, small part of me still thinks \u201cI\u2019d have a four year old.\u201d Even though I have a three year old I am smitten with and who would not exist if had had this first baby. It was a bump on the road to getting Theo.<\/p>\n<p><strong>November 16:<\/strong> The day I couldn\u2019t find a heartbeat on my doppler at 20 weeks 3 days pregnant. The day my anxiety kept me from sleeping. I went in to the midwife after Mike called her, angry they weren\u2019t doing more for this pregnancy and for my trauma. I was texting Mike as he took a bus from work to the midwife. The texts would be heartbreaking to read now. I cry just thinking about them.<\/p>\n<p>The day Theo lay beside me on the exam table while the midwife searched for a heartbeat. The day my boys squished together in a chair in the ultrasound room as the ultrasound tech silently pushed the probe on my belly. The day the midwife shook her head and said, \u201cI can\u2019t believe it. There\u2019s no heartbeat.\u201d The day we left the midwife\u2019s office for the last time and I was equal parts rage and devastation.<\/p>\n<p>The day I learned that lightening can strike twice and that experiencing a tragedy doesn\u2019t protect you from future tragedy. The day my heart was hardened just a bit, but opened to connecting with more human suffering and the reality of humanity. (Not to sound overly dramatic or anything).<\/p>\n<p><strong>November 20 (today):<\/strong> The day I was induced and delivered our tiny, perfect baby. The delivery and birth was scary since I had an incredibly high fever. They pumped me full of IV antibiotics and I was delirious. I was almost afraid my kids would lose their mom the same day I lost my baby. The day I held my baby for the first and last time.<\/p>\n<p><strong>November 27:<\/strong> The start of my pregnancy with Clare. Should be a happy date, not a wistful one. How have two years gone by?<\/p>\n<p>(There is one happy date this month \u2013 November 21 was the start of my pregnancy with Gabe. I was at the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ourlittleapartment.com\/32-hours-on-a-bus-will-do-that-to-you\/\">SOA Protest <\/a>with a bunch of high schoolers. Happy memories there.)<\/p>\n<p>(And I want to talk about The Election last year and how that affected my mood but that\u2019s another story for another day.)<\/p>\n<p><h3 class=\"jp-relatedposts-headline\"><em>Related<\/em><\/h3>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hello and welcome to my debbie downer corner of the internet. Want to know why I hate this time of year? Pull up a chair. Let me share. (Or click x and escape the sadness.) November 15: The due date for my first miscarriage. A tiny, small part of me still thinks \u201cI\u2019d have a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":34277,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12038],"tags":[6854,3894,14098],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-34276","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-apartment","tag-ends","tag-november","tag-wake"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Wake Me Up When November Ends. - Som2ny Network<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=34276\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Wake Me Up When November Ends. - Som2ny Network\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hello and welcome to my debbie downer corner of the internet. 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