Capital M, neon-sign-flashing-in-the-dark, meaning.<\/p>\n Uh-huh. Sure. That\u2019s the kind of thing people say in interviews with The New Yorker<\/em> or after running a marathon. But for something so universal, the whole \u201cmeaning of life\u201d thing remains disturbingly unresolved.<\/p>\n The terms and conditions for existence are the only ones we\u2019d actually read but also the only ones we don\u2019t actually get. You\u2019d think, given how many centuries humans have been at this, we would\u2019ve nailed it down by now, like the best way to cook bacon. Trying to find meaning can feel like trying to find a needle in a haystack, except the needle is also made of hay, and you\u2019re not entirely certain what a needle is.<\/p>\n So how do we do it? Or at least make life feel<\/em> more meaningful? Well, I know where we can find some answers\u2026<\/p>\n Steven J. Heine is a professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia. His book is \u201cStart Making Sense<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n Let\u2019s get to it\u2026<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Want a quick way to boost that feeling of meaning? Do what\u2019s called a \u201cself-grounding exercise.\u201d<\/p>\n Here\u2019s the \u201ctechnique\u201d and I am using quotation marks because calling this a technique feels like calling microwaving a Hot Pocket \u201ccooking.\u201d It requires about as much effort as writing a grocery list.<\/p>\n Pick a value: kindness, loyalty, not yelling at call center workers, whatever. Write a small paragraph about why it matters to you. That\u2019s it.<\/p>\n Simple as it sounds, this isn\u2019t pop-psychological snake oil. It emerges from Claude Steele\u2019s self-affirmation theory, a body of research so well-established that dozens of studies have confirmed its effects: a temporary boost in meaning, improved academic performance, even a more forgiving attitude toward one\u2019s past poor decisions.<\/p>\n Sure beats brushing your teeth while screaming into the mirror.<\/p>\n (For more on how to find meaning in life, click here<\/a>.)<\/p>\n So what\u2019s another quick way to get a boost of meaning?<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n You primarily get it accidentally via Facebook \u201cRemember When\u201d posts. But it deserves a little more respect than that.<\/p>\n Nostalgia helps us make sense of our lives. It provides narrative structure, which is desperately needed when most days feel like a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure story where every choice somehow ends with meh<\/em>.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s the psychology: humans hate open loops. We hate chaos. Nostalgia is a way of shutting the loop, of saying, \u201cNo, no, it all led here.\u201d With nostalgia, life\u2019s a journey. Nostalgia says you\u2019re progressing, that it isn\u2019t all just entropy with a soundtrack.<\/p>\n You stare at a Polaroid of yourself at eight years old (bowl haircut, missing teeth, Ninja Turtles backpack) and for a brief, hallucinatory second, you believe your life is not an aimless accumulation of trivialities but rather a novel with a discernible plot, a protagonist, and maybe even a moral arc.<\/p>\n Nostalgia makes you less bothered by your problems. Because if you can believe that once upon a time you felt carefree and invincible then maybe today\u2019s challenges aren\u2019t the end of the world either.<\/p>\n And if you\u2019ll excuse me, I have to go watch a grainy VHS copy of \u201cThe Goonies.\u201d<\/p>\n (For more on how to use nostalgia to improve your life, click here<\/a>.)<\/p>\n Okay, time to take it up a notch and actually leave the house\u2026<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Most days the news reads like a never-ending list of despair, every ping of your phone bringing fresh evidence of some small apocalypse\u2026<\/p>\n But then you stumble out at night, stare at the stars, and for a brief, dazzling nanosecond, you feel at one with the universe.<\/p>\n You feel a little awe. And you need to feel that more often.<\/p>\n The irony? Real transcendence doesn\u2019t make you feel bigger; it makes you feel smaller. You think transcendence is about enlightenment. It\u2019s not. It\u2019s about relief. Relief from what? From you. From the constant, difficult labor of being you.<\/p>\n Transcendence untethers us from our normal operating system. Those frantic loops of acquisition, comparison, grievance. And for a while we float above the grim bureaucracy of daily life.<\/p>\n (For more about how to increase the amount of awe in your life, click here<\/a>.)<\/p>\n Okay, enough little tricks. Time to dig deeper for some real meaning-making\u2026<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n The real shortcut to existential significance isn\u2019t found in a wellness influencer\u2019s feed. It\u2019s found in relationships, those messy, noisy, irritating, and absolutely necessary entanglements with other people that remind you you\u2019re more than just a collection of bad habits wrapped in skin.<\/p>\n Children are the ultimate subscription service for meaning. You don\u2019t have time to question the void when you\u2019re too busy wiping applesauce out of your hair and explaining why, no, you cannot marry a cartoon character. Your continued existence becomes crucial because if you don\u2019t show up, someone literally dies.<\/em><\/p>\n Overall, family can feel like a dirty trick life plays on us: you spend your adolescence trying desperately to get away from them, only to spend adulthood realizing that they are the only people genetically obligated to tolerate you.<\/p>\n Family not an option? Join a group. It doesn\u2019t even have to be a good group. It can be the \u201cWe Hate How Expensive Avocados Are\u201d Facebook group. Just find a crew. Find something stupid and decide it\u2019s sacred. That\u2019s literally how cults start and honestly, I respect the hustle.<\/p>\n One way or another, reach out to people. Not just when you need something. Not just when you\u2019re lonely. But because they exist, and so do you, and the space between that is something holy if you bother to look.<\/p>\n Meaning is constructed, fabricated, stitched together out of obligation, loyalty, neediness, and a desperate, gorgeous refusal to give up on each other. If you\u2019re waiting until you feel \u201cwhole\u201d to show up for your kid, your family, your trivia team, you will die waiting. Show up broken. Show up faking it. Show up resentful and messy and tired. Show up anyway. That\u2019s where meaning is. That\u2019s the whole game. That\u2019s all there ever was.<\/p>\n Now answer that text from your mom.<\/p>\n (For more on how to improve your relationships, check out my bestseller on the subject here<\/a>.)<\/p>\n Some people are not going to like this next one but that doesn\u2019t make it any less true\u2026<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Let\u2019s get this out of the way: yes, work can suck. You have to interact with people, some of whom pronounce \u201cespresso\u201d with an \u201cx\u201d. You have to answer emails, usually from someone who is wrong and also loud about it.<\/p>\n But we need it. We crave structure. We crave belonging. We crave a reason for being that isn\u2019t just binge-watching true crime documentaries and wondering why you feel anxious all the time. Work fills that void. Even if it\u2019s deeply imperfect.<\/p>\n Work gives you social structure. You have people to complain with, and that, my friend, is the glue of civilization. That\u2019s tribal cohesion. The strongest bonds you form at work are with the person who\u2019s also hiding in the supply closet during the team-building exercise.<\/p>\n Work also gives you purpose, which sounds embarrassingly earnest until you\u2019ve tried living without it. We\u2019re not talking about saving-the-world purpose here. But even the dumbest task gives you something to push against. A form. A shape. Sounds unimportant, but you know what\u2019s worse? You, unsupervised.<\/p>\n Because here\u2019s the thing: without work, you don\u2019t become your truest self. You become your worst self. All you\u2019ve done is switch bosses. Instead of answering to Susan from operations, you now answer to your bad habits, which are far worse and don\u2019t even give you dental.<\/p>\n![\"meaning\"](\"https:\/\/bakadesuyo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/meaning.jpg\" "\\"meaning\\"")
We\u2019re constantly told that life is supposed to have Meaning.<\/p>\nSelf-Grounding<\/h2>\n
Nostalgia<\/h2>\n
The Transcendent<\/h2>\n
Relationships<\/h2>\n
Work<\/h2>\n